My cat is possesed

[Fanta]

He just attacked me. usually he stops if i squash him. But no he's cut me to shreads. i had to throw him at the table. Now i feel bad. Bastard animal! He also tries to grab peoples heads from behind. he waits behind the sofa for you to sit down then he's at you. And he attacks peoples feet. And runs about attacking everything. His eye is huge (one-eyed cat). He looks evil... Save me.....

[Atanvarne]

Why don't you just stab it in the eye with a pointy stick.. .. I'd say that'd calm it down.

[Scribbly]

Originally posted by Atanvarne
Why don't you just stab it in the eye with a pointy stick.. .. I'd say that'd calm it down.

Listen to this wise man. You may just learn a lot from him.

[eidderf]

you buy a one eye dog and watch them fight
go dog
and then you move home
and sell the old one to your worst enemy

[Fanta]

But i love my spawn-of-satan-cat :(

btw is this thread spammy?

[Atanvarne]

Listen to this wise man. You may just learn a lot from him.

. Yes.. do listen to me.. .. even though.. I believe wise woman would be more correct.;)

[arsippe_luvs_pi]

Well, if you've poked it with a stick it would only be maimed and not killed...of course that's supposing the stick isn't laced with arsenic.

But if it dies you can always just stuff it and put it on your wall

[noodle_brain]

I like pie. i invented that phrase. now everyone saw it on here and they all reckon i copied it... oh... woe is me :weebl:

[ZekeyLizard]

A shotgun and some glue would clear up your cat problem....unless you really love the cat.

Then youll need to shoot some tranquilizer and hire a medium to perform an excorcism.

[philtard]

Wht cant all cats be like mine. My cat attacks it self. i'm not kidding. its like its lower half and upper half are two different entitys. The back legs scrach at its face while the upper half bites at the lower legs.... its really weird. But oh so funney. but as for your cat.. i would peobably just lock it in a room with no food and watter until you learnd him some respect. u know just a little bit..... R. E. S. P. E. C. T. find out what it means to... uh... you.

:weebl:

[malcolio]

My cats liek that all the time. I'd be stroking him ,the nhe'd lash out and scratch my arm to bits!! To get my own back, I normally throw a shirt or something over him, and make him freak out! :D

[Fanta]

lol. i have learnt to control the beast - plastic bags - terrifies him. look you can see his fear as i even write it.... PLASTIC BAG. Jack... plastic bag... !? the bastard it trying to steal my money - seriously YOU BASTARD

[freddiestarfish]

Originally posted by Fanta

btw is this thread spammy?


...

[Fanta]

i dont think it is spammy actually. possesed cats are a serious issue

[malcolio]

Originally posted by Fanta
i dont think it is spammy actually. possesed cats are a serious issue

lol, that made me laugh. Sorry, out of context that wold crack anyone up. I don't think you're cats possesed, just an egotisitic angry selfesh monster!! All cats are like that. If you don't do what they want you to do, they whine or claw your face. My cat whines like crazy, and if the shirt trick doesn't work, I shove him outside the house. He doesn't like that. :)

[philtard]

Quite right. thousands of small knicks and cuts are caused EVER DAY by posesed cats. i meen something hase to be done about this. .. be fore it gets out of hand. you get those naysayers who calim they do no real damage but tell my sofa that. how many night i have to spend consoling her.. telling her not to cry and we'll get her reapolsterd...

[fat bear]

do not, and i repeat do not poke jack with a stick. since jack apparently is a theft and a human, poking him with a stick is not going to do much. you have only one option when it comes to theives, fight them 1950's style (westside story)

[Kelp_Master]

you didn't answer my question fanta -_-

[philtard]

"look... if you want to be a Jet you need 3 years of modern dance and 2 years of tap."

[the*only*kandi]

Originally posted by Scribbly
Listen to this wise man. You may just learn a lot from him.

very very wise man so smart bright cookie.......wait....... what the hell would you want a bright cookie.............i like the one eyed dog idea better tho:)

[ZekeyLizard]

I'm telling you Fanta.

Some glue.
A shotgun.
A trashbag.
No
More
Cat
Problems.:twisted:

[fat bear]

listen fanta, the only way to kill the devil dog is to get it to look at your SPAM

[imabrickwall]

hahah that is funny...i dont think that i have ever encountered an agressive cat like that. sounds like it keeps things funny and mixes it up ^_^

[Yucky Cheese]

:weebl: my cat's very nice.... no! get away from me you evil fish!!!!!:weebl:

[Yucky Cheese]

:weebl: neway...... when she starts being a bitch, i just take ine of those big thick bathroom towels and drape it over her and pick her up in it so that she just has to sit there on my lap without being able to move until she's learned her lesson. if she's good and dosen't kick or scream during that process, she gets a treat! :weebl:

[Seraph]

Yucky Cheese, NO! BAD DOUBLE POST!!!!! Cheese even...

Anyways...
Fanta, your cat could be mentally insane. Just feed it, and let it sleep when it wants.. and you will be fine :)

..and if anyone wants a horrible little kitty named Ollie... erm...
*shoves him in your arms*
He's cute and all... honest.. :rolleyes: Bleh.

[Yucky Cheese]

Originally posted by fat bear
listen fanta, the only way to kill the devil dog is to get it to look at your SPAM

:weebl: umm.... fanta has a possesed cat... not a dog:weebl:

[philtard]

Originally posted by Seraph
Just feed it, and let it sleep when it wants.. and you will be fine :)[/B]
I wasn't awair cats did anything other then that. mine sure dont. except for attack them selves and, more importently, me. But maby you have one of those new fangles geneticaly engeneard cats with the lazer beems and the what not.

[RadiationHazard]

Throw out of an open window in a moving car or give it to New Jersey's Governer Jim McGreevy....god I hate that guy, he's the reason I have to leave my beloved state.

[philtard]

well you never had to deal with Jane Swift. She was never elected in the first place. and now that shes gon we have to deal with whats his face. man if i wasn't lazy i would leave this state. but its a long walk.

[RadiationHazard]

Mc'Greevy's approval rating was 30%

[Yucky Cheese]

Originally posted by RadiationHazard
Throw out of an open window in a moving car or give it to New Jersey's Governer Jim McGreevy....god I hate that guy, he's the reason I have to leave my beloved state.

:weebl: why do you have to leave your state?

[Mung]

maybe you should like feed some heroine or something

[ez_cle_otis]

back to cats ;) , my neighbor has a cat and she leaves plenty of presents, ie. dead stuff in my yard.

[Seraph]

Originally posted by ez_cle_otis
back to cats ;) , my neighbor has a cat and she leaves plenty of presents, ie. dead stuff in my yard.

Ugh! As they do... :rolleyes:

[eidderf]

Move house and get a gun
and if you don't want to harm your cat your posting in the wrong forums

[Minty]

fill your cats litter tray with TNT and then you should make your cat do a wee in it, seeing as devil cats pee out fire:weebl:

[Yucky Cheese]

Originally posted by Minty
fill your cats litter tray with TNT and then you should make your cat do a wee in it, seeing as devil cats pee out fire:weebl:

:weebl: lol! that's funny!!!!!!!! :weebl:

[ZekeyLizard]

Coach Z
"I tell ya homestar! A cat is like a great sportsplay! You gotta blast its head off with a shotgun. Then you gets ter score!"

[Link]

Well, my cat smells like cheese and looks like a dinosaur..!

[Yucky Cheese]

Originally posted by Link
Well, my cat smells like cheese and looks like a dinosaur..!

:weebl: hey!!!!!! are you making fun of me? :weebl:

[Seraph]

Goodness..
A 4 star thread with the title 'My cat is possesed'

.......nice.. :p

[RadiationHazard]

Originally posted by Yucky Cheese
:weebl: why do you have to leave your state?

Taxes have gotten a bit high for us of low income. And besides, we're bankrupt. We gotta leave Florida is the Cheapmans Promised land.

[ZekeyLizard]

Your gonna live in Florida?

I live in Florida (when I'm not in Italy)(seriously)
I am in Tampa.

As for the cat....
Allow me to use the Freudian mathmatical analysis equation:

Ahem....

Cat+Glue+Shotgun=No mo' cat.

Elementary!

[Seraph]

Originally posted by ZekeyLizard
Your gonna live in Florida?

I live in Florida (when I'm not in Italy)(seriously)
I am in Tampa.

Florida can be quite expensive in a sense. I grew up in Florida.. im Floridian through and through (altho, living in UK now - 3 years).
When i lived in Florida, we bought a brand new house in Tampa for $400k and it was only 4 bedroom.

I think Florida is quite expensive because its like, 'Tourist-ville' :p
Nevermind eh, beautiful beaches and the best sunsets ever, make up for it!! :D

:Wants to go back and see a sunset now:

[ZekeyLizard]

A warning to those of you who wish to live in the Sunshine State:

We have entire cities populated by only senior citizens.
Seriously.

[Seraph]

Originally posted by ZekeyLizard
A warning to those of you who wish to live in the Sunshine State:

We have entire cities populated by only senior citizens.
Seriously.

That's because Florida is relaxing, and one of the most known retirement states lol.

[philtard]

Its where America goes to die.

[fat bear]

yes and i wish they would die somewhere where there is no people, like North Dakota or Montana

anyways, listen here Zeke
1.you cant just kill a devil cat like that, i mean c'mon its possesed so obviously there are somethings a shotgun can not take care of

2. the cat is not just going to sit there and wait for its death

3. Fanta is a girl who has no aim and has probably never handeled a gun in her life, except for when forcing people to read her spam **click**...haha, just kidding fanta

4. you're right, Tampa is infestered with old people but they are leaving fast because of all the families moving down to florida because it is much cheaper to live in(alot less taxes than most other states) and most old people will move to cuba when castro is assassina...err...i mean he dies of...uh...natural causes, yeah, thats right, natural causes

[Link]

Tampa is where the fun is! :badger:
Seriously, it is also overpopulated with Cubans and Dumbasses.
Cubans are cool but, fuck the dumbasses.

[arsippe_luvs_pi]

Originally posted by ZekeyLizard
Coach Z
"I tell ya homestar! A cat is like a great sportsplay! You gotta blast its head off with a shotgun. Then you gets ter score!"

*laughs uncontrolably*

[Yucky Cheese]

Originally posted by Pinkerbell
LMAO

:weebl: LMAO??? what does that mean? did you mean LAMO? :weebl:

:weebl: i'm confused! :weebl:

[Link]

people use those emotioncons too much:nana:

[Seraph]

Originally posted by Link
people use those emotioncons too much:nana:

Yeah, they do.

I tried to quote them then say something including more of them... on another thread, but it told me i couldnt have that many emotes in the post. I wonder if they could lower the maximum emote number or something? :)

[Seraph]

Originally posted by Pinkerbell
I was doing that to make fun of your little crap basket friend there. You need to talk to them, not me.

That was kinda harsh.

I think they were on your side there, Pinkerbell :rolleyes:
They were agreeing, as was i.

[patdude]

hi

[Seraph]

Originally posted by patdude
hi

(err....O.....K..... This isn't the first post you have just put 'hi' on....):rolleyes:

What's the point in that?

[Jeff The Jiff]

this whole weebls-stuff section is full of idiots posting crap

[ZekeyLizard]

Can we get back to the cat problem Jeff? Seraph?

Now I the insufferable Zekey suggest we hold a cat seance. That should yank any evil spirits out of it.

[Seraph]

Hmm.... give the cat some food and shove him out the door.
He should be OK :)

That's what i do to my brothers cat anyways...
I'm not a cat person. :shock:

[Yucky Cheese]

:weebl: :weebl::weebl::weebl::weebl::weebl::weebl::weebl:

JUST FOR YOU PINKERBELL!!!!!!

[BlueHippo]

you people and your little weebls. ;)

[ZekeyLizard]

wha?

Im not exactly fond of all cats.
I could tell you stories of the things I have done....


Fanta hasnt posted in awhile.
Perhaps the demon cat finally got her.
She will be missed:nana:

[goody 2 shoos]

yucky cheese, you have to give me credit for your signature
i mean. yes, i am very happy youre using my words but thats just going a lil to far not giving me credit AT ALL!
and my cat is possesed, literally. by the devil
i can tell because he loves me.....:twisted:

[Blayze]

lol, dude sounds like you need an exorcist. Or a shotgun and some glue like that other guy said... personally i like his idea better...