The Noob Portaloos

[Zarni]

In conjuction with Miss Labmonkey of the Noob Lounge, I present to you, a place where all Noobs can unashamedly come to relieve themselves of their troubles, their tempers, and their bladders.

Welcome one, welcome all, to the brand spanking new, shiny orange Noob Toilets! (they're only portaloos whilst we get the plumbing fixed, then they'll be better.)

Thanks and rep go to Labmonkey for generously offering to take on the job of cleaner in addition to her role as bar floozy! :D

[allfalldown]

*parks forklift truck behind one of the portaloos innocently, and waits for first victim*

[king_kihl]

Great! I really gotta go. *charges to the nearest portaloo* Oh. Mm. Ah. That is refresh... What the? Why is the loo alive!

[allfalldown]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

*lifts king_kihl in the portaloo into the air with the forklift, and proceeds to drive round in circles*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*the forklift tips over*

[PJ]

*Installs indoor plumbing and toilets.*

[sack the chimp]

*Sniff sniff*

Whats the hells that smell....OH GOD, ITS ALL OVER THE SEAT!

[Minted]

Portaloo's don't bode well, have none of you been to music festivals? :eek:

[king_kihl]

Yeah. I've been to them I just never used the portaloo's to find out what they were like. (too scared of what they'd be like)

[Minted]

Well, I won't go into detail (I've just eaten) but please THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

[labmonkey]

Eh!!! I didn't thimk you were serious about this Zarni. Anyway the idea of being able to relieve yourself of anything that is annoying, troubling, upsetting you is a good one, although I'm not sure people will realise from the title the purpose of the thread and there is alrady a confessional and an agony aunt service provided by Kram and Scat,but if anyone is willing to share feel free.

Im not really sure what being the cleaner actually entails, but I have my trusted rubber gloves at the ready!

So come on people relieve yourself of your woes; is your boyfriend/girlfriend pressuring you? Do you suffer from a strange rectal itching? Is your job getting you down, is your life going nowhere, do you want to kill your parents/friends/partner? Are you confused about your gender/sexuality/species?

Go on let out your frustrations, were hear to listen (and promise not to snigger!)

[dodo queen]

labmonkey, i think your gonna need more than a pair of rubber gloves, seeing as everyone is p*****g all over the seats!!!

[madhatter]

*throws a cherry bomb in the loo, and runs away*

[king_kihl]

*sits on the loo to only realise that a cherry bomb was waiting for him*

[allfalldown]

*Installs indoor plumbing and toilets.*
What am I gonna do with my forklift now that we have proper loos?

*ponders*

I know!

*carries stinking, fetid portaloos to the Noob Hotel and dumps them in the lobby*

*the forklift tips over*

I gotta get that seen to

[Cloud]

*pulls the seat off the loo*

[Zarni]

aah, good to see the toilets are being used for the purpose for which they were intended.

*relieves self*

now i can go to the lounge safe in the knowledge that my bladder is empty!

[PJ]

*Kick's open door in blind rage.* " i go away for one day and your taking our morning and evening shower and bath spa. for shame take out those baths and showers or me and alfaldown will use a bouldoser (sp?) yo knock this place down!!!

You've been warned.

[dodo queen]

hi peej, your angry!!

[allfalldown]

I ain't knocking this place down with my forklift. These are Zarni's toilets. I like Zarni. I can use my forklift to steal crates of 1940s war rations from your hotel. In fact, I'm gonna go do that.

*drives away*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

=A FEW MINUTES LATER=

*stops forklift*
*opens crate of 1940s war rations*
*flushes them one at a time down the loo*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the great weebl-stuff forum war ration thief

[dodo queen]

thats nice,i was gonna use them for a special tribute to some of the old soldiers. i had a little party planned and you were invited.
its all gone to scrap now though. oh well, ill have one another time.

[LeoZ]

*leoZ does a poo*

[dodo queen]

thats nice leoz....................

[Cloud]

*makes a chemical stink bomb and drops it in the loo* *flushes and runs!*

[Zarni]

*walks in*

*immediately falls over backwards in a dead faint from stench*

[Cloud]

*a woman with her child walks nearby and calls 911, the little girl being nosy goes in to look and falls over also, the paramedics later arrive to arradicate the smell and take Zarni and the little girl to hospital*

[Zarni]

*wakes up in hospital*

*remembers previous events and prepares to return to the Toilets...*

'and this time, it's person-smell....'

*arms with air freshener and goes back to kick the smell's arse*