Chat up lines!

[Brother jam Bob]

Ello'

Right, post your best chat up lines here.
The best one wins a internet donught. :love:

Lets keep the content clean, nothing rude of offencive.

Heres one:

"Did you drop a bag of sugar or was that just your name!!!" :cool:

Ps. this is a improvement on a previous thread, it was loked because of peaple posting rude and offencive content. Lets Not let let that happen to this thread.

[Playbus]

"Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

:twisted:

[Littleshore]

"Nice arse! Turn around so I can say hello to you!"

[Spiker]

"you must be jamacan,'cos your jamacan me crazy" :D

[Jimmeh]

I'll give anyone a tenner who actually says one of these and means it seriously...


Because let's face it you'll be homeless soon

[Fox]

Hasn't this been posted before a long time ago? Hmm I seem to remember it..

[Ant2oo4]

nice legs, what time do they open?

[felixdahousecat]

Alright love? get your gums around me plums

[Greg]

Would you like to go halves on a bastard?

[[murray]]

"Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

:twisted:


I so posted that one in the last thread.

Thief!

[Kitetsu]

lmao that one could work, just use chloraform and voila!

[Drew]

"I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school"

[Playbus]

posted by [murray]
Thief!

I prefer the term Plagarism ;)

[Zweee]

ALl quotes im afraid...


If i could rearange the alphabet, id put U and I together.
Are you a parking ticket? Cos you got Fine written all over you.


BEST CHAT UP LINE EVER:


M:Hi
W:Hello

Works everytime.

[Brother jam Bob]

*Did the sun Come out or did you just smile.*

[Fox]

Did you fall to Earth, because heaven is missing an angel.

etc.

[Ant2oo4]

Was your father a farmer? Because you have great pair of melons.

[Kitetsu]

lmao good one

[zero defex.]

"C'mon now, up against the wall..."

[Pete]

this one has been created, tried and tested by yours truly. warning, did result in a slap from my best mate (who happens to be female, just if you're wondering).

Me - 'Hey, you know the difference between you and pasty?'
Unsuspecting Victim - 'Erm... not really'.
Me - 'Well, (deep breath and a few steps back) not a lot really. You're both about the right size for me to hold, so hot and look damn tasty'.
Slightly Confused Unsuspecting Victim - 'Erm... yeah, ok. How many have you had? *slap*
Me - 'Bugger'

thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.

[sushi.]

That shirt is very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I'd be coming, too.

[Thomp]

You know, trombonists can do it in 7 different positions

[zero defex.]

"Oi, lass, fancy a quickie?"

[Cap'n Zola]

Was this thread not just created, posted in and locked a few days ago? o_O

(no, that's not my chat-up line ¬_¬)

[Woloch]

You know, trombonists can do it in 7 different positions

holy shit, do i know you?
one of my friends came up with that in like 6th grade and thought he was awesome. I guess he could have just stole it from somebody else.

heres mine:

"knock knock!"
"whos there?"
"i a-door you!"
"i simply must have you"
follwed by sexings. works EVERY* time.



*doesn't work ever.

[Brother jam Bob]

Was this thread not just created, posted in and locked a few days ago? o_O



Yes it was, the reson that it was locked was that peaple where posting very offencive chat up lines, that where A) Not Funny, B)The where rude, offencive and inappropriatefor a public forum.

Lets not let the same thing happen to to this thread.

Happy Posting,
and good luck with the laydees.

[[murray]]

Yes it was, the reson that it was locked was that peaple where posting very offencive chat up lines, that where A) Not Funny, B)The where rude, offencive and unnipropete for a public forum.

Lets not let the same thing happen to to this thread.

Happy Posting,
and good luck with the laydees.

The ones posting the offensive ones obviously dont need it :p

[Chavvy]

My personal favourite (may already be on this or another thread but I don't care!)...

"Your eyes are like spanners... Everytime I look into them my nuts tighten..!!!"

I used this once on a girl as a joke and it actually worked... I had to follow it up with some fast talk but it broke the ice.. kind of... :p

[PJ]

Is your name destiny, cos destiny is in my future.

I suck

[Father Mahoo hoo shaboo]

That shirt is very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I'd be coming, too.

Sounds familiar.

memories...misty water coloured memories.....

*wipes a lone tear from his eye*

[zero defex.]

...peaple where posting very offencive chat up lines... The where rude, offencive and unnipropete for a public forum.


What does unnipropete mean? Is it the same as inappropriate? And what's a peaple?

Quoted from the movie in cadex's sig
Hey, you, you're hot, let's get married.

[PJ]

Hi you wanna drink?

[Dr_nwa]

I'm pissed, you're pissed, lets go.

This works. make sure chat-upee is pissed though...

[Thomp]

No, Woloch, I don't know you. I heard it in my school ages ago.

Not meant to sound nasty saying that!

[Ant2oo4]

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays?

[Teh MightyBoosh]

im half french btw:..

Hey, where are you from.

im from australia

have you got any French in you?

Erm... No.

Would you like some?

[Nuclear Spoon]

"I love you"






Ok I know it sucks. Well, I've never actually tried it!

[Star]

One of the worst

If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me.

*shakes head and sighs*

[Youlikeyams?]

I saw this one on a 'What to say when you're drunk' site:


You! Me! Bed! Now!


Not one to try sober.

[Disgruntledgoat]

"Are your legs tired love?"

"Er, no, why?"

"Cos you've been running through my mind all night."

[Thomp]

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

(Walk into her chest) If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened

What time do you get off and how?

[Sephiroth]

Me-"It's not fair! No-one loves me! *Cries* Everytime i try to ask a girl out i get stood up, my first kiss was my last one and i doubt i'll ever get another! *Burst into sobbing fit*"
Her-"There there i'm sure i can help you with that,"
Me-"sucker"

[felixdahousecat]

'Ey up pet! get yer hands around me glands

[scram]

None of you people have ever actually had sex, have you.

[felixdahousecat]

yes but not with a real person

[foxy]

But with a fake person of course....

Umm no offense but they're not very witty. Some guys if they use a cheesy and cheeky pick up line can pull it off as a joke. Its always good to make a girl giggle... but the other ones...

not very nice :(

[Father Mahoo hoo shaboo]

Chat up lines are great.

I hear them more than I use them; ones that have "worked" (please note, worked means that I end up naked - may not actually be a result of the line but of drink and attractiveness of person saying line).

"Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?"

"Do you know how to use a whip?"

After talking about the movie, 'True Romance' for a couple of mins:
"If I was Elvis, would you fuck me?" (movie geeks rule)

"Cool Jeans. Can I talk you out of them?"

Yes, they are crap, but I'm a slut - and to be honest I figured I wasnt going to be paying too much attention to what they were saying anyway.

Hoorah.

[Dr_nwa]

Sephadex LH-20 chromatography and reverse phase-high performance liquid chromatography (RP-HPLC) have been combined to analyse different phenolics in Aloe barbadensis Mill. Among them, a new chromone peak was found. Whole phenolics, and anthrone and chromone fractions were assayed as substrates of endogenous peroxidases (donor:hydrogen peroxide oxidoreductase; EC 1.11.1.7) and polyphenol oxidases (1,2-benzenediol:oxygen oxidoreductase; EC 1.10.3.1) by following the disappearance of specific RP-HPLC peaks after appropriate incubations in the presence and in absence of H2O2. Chromones, but not anthrones, were found to be good substrates of peroxidases. It is postulated that peroxidase oxidation of chromones may have a protective and sealing effect against infection after wounding. Polyphenol oxidases may have a secondary, if any, effect.


I reckon that will work...

[Jimmeh]

Sephadex LH-20 chromatography and reverse phase-high performance liquid chromatography (RP-HPLC) have been combined to analyse different phenolics in Aloe barbadensis Mill. Among them, a new chromone peak was found. Whole phenolics, and anthrone and chromone fractions were assayed as substrates of endogenous peroxidases (donor:hydrogen peroxide oxidoreductase; EC 1.11.1.7) and polyphenol oxidases (1,2-benzenediol:oxygen oxidoreductase; EC 1.10.3.1) by following the disappearance of specific RP-HPLC peaks after appropriate incubations in the presence and in absence of H2O2. Chromones, but not anthrones, were found to be good substrates of peroxidases. It is postulated that peroxidase oxidation of chromones may have a protective and sealing effect against infection after wounding. Polyphenol oxidases may have a secondary, if any, effect.


I reckon that will work...


You cheeky thing you..

[scram]

Is it me or did my pants suddenly shrink?

[Dr_nwa]

Just the thought of science makes my pants go all tent-like...

[Matt]

Many of these chat-up lines are from Family Guy and Big Brother. I think half of you haven't even had virtual sex.

God...

*Marches out, harrumphing*

[Garg]

"If you are what you eat, then tomorrow I am going to be you..."

"AROOOOOGAH!!!"

"Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!"

[GorillaBearBear]

My all time favourite, that one day, I swear, I will use on a stranger:

"hey baby, wanna play house? You can be the door and I'll slam you all night..."

Stolen shamelessly from the Commentary on the "Evil Dead 2" DVD, when Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi start making fun of Robert Tapert and his lecherous ways...

[Chavvy]

Did a classic on Saturday at my fireworks party. Some shexy young lady was there and I'd had a lot to drink. This is the conversation from there:

Me: So where's your boyfriend tonight? (smooth eh?)

Her: Oh, he's in hospital

Me: Oh, why?

Her: He had a motorbike accident 6 months ago and is paralysed from the waist down.

*Cue silence for a minute...*

Me: Fuck. Sorry.

Suffice to say no amount of talking would have changed the outcome thereafter.

[Hydralisk]

Are you OK? heaven is a long fall from here.

OR

M: I do not wanna fuck you at all .. well...
W: Yeah right...
M: OK, £5 says I'll only shag you once

[Tarix]

grab ua coat luv your pulled

[Dude]

Hi ;)

Winks are so cheesy.

[Brother jam Bob]

"Here's 10p, call your mum, say your coming home late"

[masked_muffin]

Goodness!

Do you have a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself in them...

Let's play Pearl Harbor...
I'll lay down, and you blow the shit out of me

Needless to say, I slapped both of them.

[Brother jam Bob]

"Is this your name tag; Because it's got sugar written all over it"

[bitter_sweetie]

"If i was to say i am an ice cube, can i melt down your body? cause your one hot woman"
- close drunk friend who has NOW learnt his lesson.

another random one that i've heard has been used by said guy:

*goes up to a girl, takes the ice cube out of glass, drops them and stamps on them*"right, now the ice is borken....."

i think he likes cold things......but oddly enough, never the cold shoulder :rolleyes:

[maxxy_p]

"Hello, I'm a Ghostbuster, how are you?"

Works like a charm.

[Brother jam Bob]

"Hello i like you, would you like to go out?"

honistey is the best pollicey!!!
ps; works best if the girl your chatting up is
A) Drunk
B) Very gullible.