You know you've played too much multiplayer online games when.....

[Twatybollocks]

1 - You're can be anywhere. The supermarket, at school, for a stroll in the park etc. and then you'll see an area and think, "This would be a great place for an ambush!"

2 - You're on the toilet about to drop a huge dump and you shout out, "Fire in the Hole!"

3 - You lose a bet with a mate and accuse them of hacking.

4 - You try to reconfigure your TV remote control to hotlink to your favourite weapons.

5 - If you're having a bad day you insist everyone call you 'Planetoider\/00\/<>'

6 - You put your kidney on ebay and sell it for virtual money in an online RPG.

7 - You spend a whole day writing a strategy guide for a level 7 axe with frostbite attributes.

8 - You spend a whole day designing a script to help you get washed and dressed faster.

9 - Having a good FAP to you is setting up a File Application Server to help run UT 2004 on.

10 - You spend 20 minutes writing cack like this on a message forum :p

[FoxTrot]

You've got all your online friends phone numbers

You have stats that reads

Kills:10,000
Deaths:5,000

You're on first name terms with all your online friends

You know what your online friends look like

Ah, i miss the days of rainbow six 3

Bring on rainbow six 4

Edit: LIES!

[Lewiji]

You accuse your friends while bowling of aimbotting (check)

You successfully get all your mates to buy new computers to play CS with you (check)

You set up a download schedule that is accurately timed to bring you a new game/movie/patch/mod every day (check)

You can't spell "rainbow" (oh dear foxtrot) ;)

[Cynic]

I've gotten a new keyboard of +1 typing

[mmmbacon]

ha my +4 viewing monitor and +2 listening speakers would so waste your little +1 typing keyboard

i am addicted to multiplayer online games (no therapy and support groups didn't help)

[Tiggs]

You have discussions with your frineds about what you would do if terrorists stormed your school

You regually use the terms noob or nabJ

You install a seocnd monitor on your computer so you can see whos talknig on your teamspeak server

You regually quote classic lines that someone has said on teamspeak

Your friends also do all of the above

[Disgruntledgoat]

-When you have a sense of dejavu or an optical illusion of some kind, your first reaction is "OMFG Glitcher!!!"

[Paradigm^]

I had to stop myself saying "lol" out loud today.

Second time it's happened now. Makes me :(

[Maple Moose]

When you shoot a squirrel with a bb gun and you run over and think it dropped items and gold.

diablo 2 inside joke and personal expierence...got im a nerd

[Oli_Salmon]

you feel sure that a sniper just moved into sight on that building over there
damn you delta force

[da-geezer]

- You think jumping out of a fifth floor window will be fine. Hell, you'll only lose ten health.

- Every time you see someone, you crouch.

- You decide to switch between using a flashlight and screwing in a new lightbulb; hell you can't do them both, sureley?

- You shove your hockey stick out in a failed attempt to block a shot, before shouting "oh my fucking god i'm lagging!"

- You get annoyed by someone running around yelling an address of what appears to be a online team homepage.

[Maple Moose]

when you go into the street and nearly get hit by a car you blame the admins for hating you

edit: when you see someone with better clothes, you call them an ebayer

DAMN YOU DIABLO2

[Drattigan]

You become obsessed with Runes and Scapes.

[Twatybollocks]

When in a crowded area you feel the need to shout out, "I'm looking to join a clan, anyone recruiting?"

[Cloud]

You use 1337 speek (check)
You jump around corners
You run everywhere, you only walk when you dont want to be heard.

[flapjackboy]

You see someone slip and fall in the street and shout "OMFG pwned!"

[Timmeh]

In a paintballing game a little while back, my mate got shot in the face from god knows where, and instantly shouted "OMG wtf, wallhack!!" before realising the stupidity of what he said...

[Maple Moose]

You run around the basement swinging imaginary weapons thinking you are slaying stuff in front and around you...

DAMN YOU RPGS!

[Katie_D]

When you suspect someone is breaking into your house, you grab a kitchen knife, walk downstairs with friends saying "Stay together team" and "GO GO GO!".

Yes...I did that. :(

When you use 1337 speak with your boyfriend all the time. ¬_¬ And laugh at those who don't understand.

[Twatybollocks]

It would be even worse if the intruder shouted, "Negative!"

[Weevel]

1, you think your dog / cat would look better standing on its hind legs at all times.

2, you stash bottles of water everywhere just in case someone throws a fireball at you

3, you suffer from withdrawals when you run to pee or get a snack

4, your neighbors and police burst through your front door thinking your dead

5, The electricity suddenly goes out because you haven't paid your bills in three months

[Timmeh]

When you use 1337 speak with your boyfriend all the time. ¬_¬ And laugh at those who don't understand.

me and all my friends use online abreviations in real life too much (and not online for some reason :s). We saw a teacher we despised in school trip over his own feet the other day, and we just looked at each other and said "rofl"... need a life :(:p

[stat]

When:
- You're watching TV you'll suddenly tell your parents: "the guy with Colt m4a1 carbine will own the sucker with his pathetic HK MP5 Navy"
- You've wounded yourself you got to McDonalds to heal.
- "Bleh!" becomes your subsitute for "frankly, I don't really care about your opinion"
- You try to carry along 12000 coins in your wallet.
- While playing footie you ask the star of the game if he happens to have a clan.

[Lewiji]

You can carry 100kg of items in your pockets fine-but as soon as you go over 100kg, you slow to a sluggish pace until you drop excess items.

You never run out of energy and can run all day if that's what you feel like doing.

In an exam, you try to call up a console in your mind to see if the server has accidentally put sv_cheats 1 in.

When you buy new wallpaper for your room, you refer to it as a new "skin" and ask if there are any major updates to the current version of paper.

You blame Microsoft for every problem in your life.

If someone mentions computers, you go from your usual bubbly, flowing tone to a low monotonous voice explaining all the specifications and describing the latest additions.

[Phreeck]

Whilst playing foosball at college you assuse people of aimboting, I did today :(


My life is over :(

[Disgruntledgoat]

When you stop talking to someone in real life, you say, "going afk, bbl."

[Chassisbot]

You randomly shout "Bomb in!" or "Heeyankmyaykay! Dondoooooooooooy!" On the street, in class etc.

[FoxDhoj]

When you start talking about Halo 2 and how you thrashed some Yank's arse, or when you were whipped by a French clan...

Only once...

[Twatybollocks]

Well I today uttered my first bit of internet speak out in the scary 'real world' and it is all down to CS:S and these forums. I was in the gym at lunch getting changed and some guy I only casually know through the gym (I'm not having sex with him or anything, in fact I'm not gay at all although I do like the bumsex with the wife....hmmm...maybe I'm a latent sleeper gay or something? I feel this is a discussion for my and my wabbit.), "I managed to do 10 dips today." And I said in front of him and several other people, "I don't want to sound like a N00b or anything but what is a dip?" He just looked at me and then said, "What's a n00b?" and I was tempted to shout "STFU" and run off...but I didn't.

Anyway, backsy on topic!

When you perfect your latest spray tag on the side of your house.

[Maple Moose]

i accused my friend of aim bot a few days ago when we played with dart guns..

[jimeh]

You've got all your online friends phone numbers

You have stats that reads

Kills:10,000
Deaths:5,000

You're on first name terms with all your online friends

You know what your online friends look like


Edit: LIES!

True dat :p

Its crucial you know where everyone is when your in a clan. :D

[CoX]

I keep saying online abbreviations too. Especially OMFG. Its these forums and MSN.

I also regularly shout out "PWNED" when someone falls over or somehting, but only me and one of ym mates know WTF i am going on about. (there I go again!)

[Arkwright]

When you say "Roffle my Waffles!" instead of "Shut up!"

I do this, only my gaming buddy understands me... and pities me

[Bloopo]

Every time you want to get somewhere, you pull out your knife, and whilest running, inspect the blade.

[Fozma]

Your lying in bed and all you can think about is the advantages and disadvantages of duel wielding plasma pistol and pistol instead of using the battlerifle/plasma pistol combo.

Also: You keep calling your friend a 'camping frag-whore' in the middle of chemistry.

And: You discover you got full marks on your biology coursework resit and immidietly stand up infront of everyone and shout "w00t!" yeah i did that...

[Maple Moose]

When you with a group of friends and you see another and challenge them to a clan duel

[™]

when you see a old man on a park bench you say: "pffft... camper"
when you see a snowman you think *headshotting than would be a mega rofl!*
when you see a crowd of people not moving you say *OMFG! MEGA LAG!!!!!!*

[Sorcha]

Your boyfriend still trash talks to you when you're playing an online game.

You met your boyfriend while playing an online game.

You're ideal date is playing Halo2 on Xbox Live into the early hours of the morning while eating pizza and drinking as much caffine as possible.

My life is oh so sad.

[FoxDhoj]

I've been doing that /\ for the last two weekends, so I'm not going on games for a while (not 'til next Wednesday - bowling...........................then...big System Link partée - seriously gnarley).

[FoxTrot]

I've been doing that /\ for the last two weekends

:O

You met your boyfriend over xbox live?

[Lewiji]

You get kinda pissed off when you find out the new update for CS:S has a "fix" to stop the silencer being applied when you switch weapons.

Damn habit :(

[Contro]

When you go to the doctor, and sometime during the appointment you ask for a buff.

When you ask the lunch lady what today's meal's modifiers are.

[™]

you call gypsies - campers

you go to glastonbury and say
"oh crap , not another camping noob server!"

[Maple Moose]

When your neighbour gets a better car, you call him an ebayer

[Nightraven]

When you greet your friends, you brag about how much experience you gained last night.

You maliciously hack through your school/work server just so you can get around the proxy and play a nit of that MMORPG.

[EDY-innit]

Nightraven, you have no idea how much you have insulted so many people with that one post.
HACKING school/work server will NOT get anything opened/unrestricted. That is NOT what a hacker is. Bad nightraven.
Calling that hacking is extremely insulting to hackers, like me for instance*. That is NOT hacking, as when you manipulate something to do or NOT do something it should be doing normally, that ceases to simply be Hacking, and begins to be Cracking.
If you would be so kind as to edit your post to say 'Cracking' rather than 'Hacking' a lot of people would appreciate it, i'm sure.

-End Rant.

Well, i call something or someone a n00b about 10 times every day minimum. I play too much of online games.

*Actually, i am a neutral. I hack mostly, but yes, i DO crack occaisionally as well. A bit like i'm gonna crack my damn school server if they either Don't unblock me, or Don't give me a good enough reason to keep me blocked. I'll just go in there and sort it out myself.

[Lewiji]

Well, actually, most school servers are so shitty that you don't need to crack anything and simple hacking techniques will do it all for you.

[Timmeh]

When I was in school, the router was sooo hard to "crack" :rolleyes:

Open command prompt
ipconfig

default gateway in browser

"enter log in please"

User: Admin
Pass: Admin

Thankyou for logging in *shows router config page*

Spoons.

[Lagmeister]

oh I remember school networks, oh noes I cant log onto the system to use the interweb, reset, pull out ethernet cable, boot up to windows desktop (no password required, as novell didnt seem to be set up correctly), plug in network cable, huzzah interwebnet access. But I stopped doing that and sided with the techies in 6th form, actually made the network run a lot better than before with added security as I knew most of the loopholes in the system, huzzah for me.

But anyway, you shout "owned" at your siblings because you gave them a nasty static shock when they poke you.

[Maple Moose]

When you put your friends brother in a suitcase and push him down the stairs and say an Orc did it.(I did that literally)

[pebble_rebel]

Well, actually, most school servers are so shitty that you don't need to crack anything and simple hacking techniques will do it all for you.
i can only open the applications on my system, know chance of running any command prompts...

[Marlowe]

I have honestly done this... and I am ashamed.

After 2 weeks off uni which was spent playing BF1942, 13 hours a day, I came back to uni a tired little puppy. I was dropping of in lectures when someone next to me asked me a question. I tried to look at them by moving my mouse hand instead of my neck.

[EDY-innit]

@pebble_rebel:
Heh, Command Prompt is 'blocked' at my school too... But of course i hacked around that minor problem. And the admin/techie guy admitted himself that my way of accessing it was unstoppable. /me pwns admins/techies @ school... ;)

@Marlowe:
I do believe that is the funniest and most unlikely thing i have ever heard. Although, i can see how it could easily be possible... (I HAVE to see someone try that at school/uni sometime...)

[Lewiji]

i can only open the applications on my system, know chance of running any command prompts...

Same with mine...

But I still got to it :p

Batch files are useful. As are DOS applications.

[Nightraven]

Actually, it is hacking. Rather stupid, simple hacking that doesn't quite get you to understand the system, but it is hacking. It is technically cracking, to pull information, but still has some of the same elements, albeit not the hardships, of true hacking.

Next one:

You only know your RL friends by their creen names.

You make another characters life living hell for two weeks... so you can get another quarter of the experience needed for the next level.

[Random]

- If you get in a fight, you just sit there, thinking a mysterious force will control you.
- You often pretend a stick or some useless item is a high-powered weapon.
- You do stupid stunts often, thinking if you die, you will respawn perfectly fine.
- You play with your dinner, using the corn as little soldiers, and when they die, you eat them.
- You think that food and drink such as chicken and milk will instantly heal you.

[Maple Moose]

You pretend everything in your house is a type of pokemon...(i have did this lots and still do)
You sing Old man river over xbox live and then they come and kill you in the water on Halo 2.

[Arkwright]

Whoa! A$$hatman, X-box live is not a karaoke machine, treat it with respect or j00 shall g3t pwnz0red.

You start pronouncing "The" as "Teh", as in "Pass me teh peas"

[bionic sheep]

When you give a damn about the difference between hacking and cracking, when to all intents and purposes it's obvious what he means?

[Lewiji]

You spend a whole week solidly playing games, only to find when you go outside with some mates you look at chrome things and think "Wow, great reflection mapping"

:(

[jonffm]

I've been playing Counterstrike too much lately, so I keep zooming in on peoples heads as I walk down the street, as if i'm sizing up a headshot.

I'm currectly seeking professional help.

[Lozzie Stardust]

When you say abv's in RL. like WTF or lol *lookies innocent*

or when someone falls over in the common room you yell "OMFG j00 got own3nd"

*cough*

or randomly yell "boosh" in public

[Timmeh]

I've been playing it too much too, my clan've been on awping practice for the last week in prepairation for a massive LAN in Sweden coming up soon. In a quiet road in my village a few days ago, heard a footstep behind me, actually turned round and my thumb went for the "previous weapon" button to pull out my deagle. Never have I been so embarressed.

[cap'n genitals]

I once gave someone a peice of paper, with a - on it and a comment.
On the comp all week i was.

[Twatybollocks]

When you are accused of cheating and it really pisses you off. Even whan you are 'allowed' back in the game you know people think 'well, the guy couldn't have been accused for nothing!' and it...just gets to you.

I've even found mysef playing badly on purpose this weekend and I think it's coz if I get one or two really good kills in under unusual conditions like when it happened it will all start again. :nana:

[mmmbacon]

You know you've played one too many rounds of a FPS when you walk in a building and check every nook and cranny for fucking n00b campers.

You also have been playing too many online games when you are writing a paper for school, get up to blow your nose, and sit back down and continue "typing" your paper.

At least I'm man enough to admit it.

[Lewiji]

If someone accuses you of cheating now, they're a bit stupid-VAC2 is running and if you look on myg0t.com their hacks aren't working :D

I take being accused of cheating as a compliment XD

[Timmeh]

As most of the people I've played with'll probably tell you, I'm a bit of an AWP whore... I got accused of cheating yesterday on 1.6 in an official ED prem match, followed by the team leaving in a tantrum. I was standing at the back of B by myself (as usual in matches, the other 4 go A). Unfortunaly, the other team'd employed a very silly tactic. 4 of them rushed down mid and up into A, obliterating the rest of my team who were on eco... and for some reason, after my whole team had died without killing a single one of their players, the bomb toddles out on B tunnel on his own... gaining an inch wide hole in his chest in the process. So I had the bomb more or less completely covered. Two more came out of tunnels one at a time (god knows why), both took an AWP'ing. Another with an MP5 comes through double doors, runs past the bomb... he was a bit too close to risk an AWP shot, so I ducked behind the box, pulled out my deagle... waited till I could hear he was right by me, popped out and one bullet headshot him with the deagle. To my left, I could hear someone jump, lined my AWP cross-hair up on the window, waited a second... and killed the last one. The round restarts to "omg we're not playing with you fucking hackers, we're gonna watch the HLTV and get default" then left. Needless to say, I sent them the HLTV last night... and suddenly they've all gone very quiet...

I took it as a compliment :P

[Oooh Yeah]

you know you've played too much multiplayer online games when.......

you beat up you wife because she wants to watch emmerdale when you're playing CS and she turns up the volume over your surround sound kit so you can't hear someone walk up behind you and stab you in the back in game and you lose the match for you clan in quite a himiliating way.

so your wife leaves you and you are lonely man with just a computer for a friend.

(from BBC3 show about addiction that was on a few weeks ago)

[Twatybollocks]

Well in my instance I got two head shots in a row at a (long) distance with a Deagel as the guys where jumping. I was aiming at them but was lucky to get the headshots I admit but sometimes that's the way the game goes in my experience.

I was banned straight away (without warning or anyone accusing me of cheating BTW) but pleaded my case and was allowed back on the next day but it doesn't feel the same and I've been hesitant.

[Lewiji]

To be honest though, even if someone is cheating it doesn't bother me unless it's obvious-if they are so shit at the game that they have to have "assistance" then that's their problem-We can still own them :p

[Timmeh]

My mate gets banned from so many good servers... just because he's increadibly tallented. He has a 3 figure steam ID, he's played for 4K, SC and now Landed... playing CS since beta for over 7 years. Needless to say, nobody kills him much, and he gets a lot of very long range headshots with very small guns... he (obviously) doesn't hack, but other than his own clan server, he hardly has a place to play anymore... he just gets banned which really sucks :(

[EDY-innit]

You know you've been playing too much online gaming/on the computer too much when:
A teacher comments on a spelling mistake in your (handwritten) work and you shrug it off and tell the teacher it was a typo...

[Twatybollocks]

My mate gets banned from so many good servers... just because he's increadibly tallented. He has a 3 figure steam ID, he's played for 4K, SC and now Landed... playing CS since beta for over 7 years. Needless to say, nobody kills him much, and he gets a lot of very long range headshots with very small guns... he (obviously) doesn't hack, but other than his own clan server, he hardly has a place to play anymore... he just gets banned which really sucks :(


That sucks. Maybe he should stick to ED league matches as they now have cup and championship matches or if he's really that good he should go for the tournements with cash prizes!

When the new VAC2 system goes online properly maybe the people with skill will get a fair chance.