The Mcvities Complaint. [Archive]

Aquarium

25-02-2005, 01:33 PM

The other day i bought flapjacks some none of you may remember me complaining about them. Well i have taken a stand! I have sent a letter to United bisuits requesting an explanation. Here is the letter:

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing amidst shock, confusion and abject horror regarding the packaging of your Mcvities Hobnobs Flapjacks. Upon purchase of this scrummy treat i did exclaim to myself "oh yay, oh woo, some lovely sweet treats to dine upon today!" However, when i got home and opened the said treats i was disgusted to find that within where 5 meager flapjacks bars, and not the musclebound flapjacks the packaging had lead me to believe. I have attached photos so you can see for yourselves the shocking difference in size between the packaging and end product.

http://img236.exs.cx/img236/7786/closeup5lb.th.jpg (http://img236.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img236&image=closeup5lb.jpg)
http://img236.exs.cx/img236/4996/hobnob4sd.th.jpg (http://img236.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img236&image=hobnob4sd.jpg)

Through scientific testing we deduced that, in actual fact, seven bars could be fitted into the packaging with ease, still leaving space around the side where you could sprinkle some crumbled biscuits,(i have included a photo of the test results for your perusal).
http://img236.exs.cx/img236/787/snickershobnob2xf.th.jpg (http://img236.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img236&image=snickershobnob2xf.jpg)

The question i ask is this? Where did it all go wrong? Is this the result of a metric/imperial mixup or is it a cunning ploy to sell mini flapjacks under the guise of bigger flapjacks?

I am sorry to say that this debacle has ruined my faith in Mcvities and, by extension, humanity.

Eagerly awaiting your response,

Chris Flint

and now i await their repsonse.

shocking isn't it?

(flapjack bastards)

skoo

25-02-2005, 01:36 PM

Rated 5.

Keep us posted!

Cryomaniac

25-02-2005, 01:39 PM

If that's is an exact copy of the letter, you will probably get some free stuff just for complaining without being an arse about it.

sack the chimp

25-02-2005, 01:39 PM

Thank god for scientific testing \o/

Aquarium

25-02-2005, 01:40 PM

tis a word for word copy(pictures where nicer, i reduced the quality for webimifying them). I don't really want free stuff, i'm just curious how they'll respond, free stuff is good too though :)

aint gonna hold my breath for it though

Cryomaniac

25-02-2005, 01:42 PM

Twatybollocks

25-02-2005, 01:42 PM

Finally, someone is taking a stand!!

titanic

25-02-2005, 01:42 PM

those bastards! they have ruined the sacred flapjack code! lets kill them and/or complane a bit more

Aquarium

25-02-2005, 01:46 PM

I was going to attack the tatse of the product too, but i ate one and they're actually quite nice, just piddly small.

piemastermike

25-02-2005, 01:50 PM

That made me laugh A LOT I am very tempted to do the same thing myself, just to give you some support. Please keep us updated

Aquarium

25-02-2005, 01:54 PM

on a side note by letter in the above posts i actually mean email, to their customer services department.

me=fool

edit: there is now a poll to see if we can predict their response

Maple Moose

25-02-2005, 02:01 PM

I don't want to sound like a complete idiot, but what are they? Are they candy bars? Im sorry, anyway that seems like a rip off. I hope they read your letter and feel ashamed.

Minted

25-02-2005, 02:04 PM

Online Heist, you have restored my faith in Humanity through this moving letter you have chosen to share with us. I would like to thank you for including us in this adventure, and allowing us to be present at such a key time in your life.

On behalf of myself, and I'm sure every right thinking person on the forums, I would just like to say we support you 100% in this, and are quite happy to have someone killed for you if you think it would help.

- Minted

Garry2

25-02-2005, 02:06 PM

I'm guessing they'll just send something along these lines:

"Thank you for your query regarding Hobnobs Flapjacks. Please accept these vouchers to the value of £20 £10 £5 £3 to spend on United Products.

Cjw

25-02-2005, 02:06 PM

It's always worth complaining to companys when there product isn't satifactory. They often shower you with gifts such as free vouchers or hopefully's moneys.

Chavvy

25-02-2005, 02:11 PM

Aquarium

25-02-2005, 02:15 PM

Online Heist, I've always liked you and I'll remember you fondly. Even when you've succumbed to a mysterious-chocolate-biscuit-stuck-in-throat-asphyxiation death.

Of course, it will "look" like an accident. :ninja:

They are watching...

are you coming onto me? be quick, for my time is short....apparently.

killed off by a biscuit company, what a way to go

titanic

25-02-2005, 02:17 PM

would you like me to be your body double? its going to take a LOT of flapjack style snacks to kill me we could bankrupt them if they tryed....

Al2

25-02-2005, 02:24 PM

*glee*

Share the freebies with your fellow forumites who support you in this noble venture :)

Dr_nwa

25-02-2005, 02:26 PM

Bloody unemployed people, wasting the time of hard working customer services people, who have to trawl through this, just to get paid!!! Think of the children!!!

(nice one. if you get free biscuits, please send them to me, We've run out (again) in my lab...)

Misanthrope

25-02-2005, 02:47 PM

That's great man! I look forward to hearing what happens.

Your letter reminded me of something on this guy's (http://www.christopherscanlon.com/index1.html) site. This is one of the best personal sites I have ever seen.

He is a painter and a professional fighter, as well as a very eloquent man. Here is a link to some of the complaints (http://www.christopherscanlon.com/Letters/Letters.html) he has made.

Horse

25-02-2005, 02:55 PM

They put one in the wrong way around as well. Storm the factories!

Aquarium

25-02-2005, 02:58 PM

They put one in the wrong way around as well. Storm the factories!

that may or may not be my fault

¬_¬

argh

25-02-2005, 03:01 PM

So? Companies should be held responsible for their mistakes as well we your own.

FoxDhoj

25-02-2005, 03:02 PM

I have complained to United Biscuits before - I found a burnt KP Hula Hoop in a pack I got on Hallowe'en. They sent me £5 worth of KP vouchers (two people replied to my email complaint and both sent me a voucher - mehe), so I think you'll get a nice letter and some free stuff!

/edit: I also complained about repetitive Wine Gums to Cadbury's/Trebor Bassett and they sent me a £1 voucher

piemastermike

25-02-2005, 03:19 PM

well, all I have to say now is that if you get a free hat... can I have it please?

Oooh Yeah

25-02-2005, 03:24 PM

hilarious, the customer services people at Mcvities will have a hernia after seeing this, I love complaining... if you say it's your birthday they will send you much more free stuff as i found when i complained that i couldn't make a model from my k'nex kit and it had ruined my birthday :D
i also got a 25p voucher from cadburys for saying their chocolate bar tasted like junk

xanthateto

25-02-2005, 03:27 PM

I e-mailed Pepsi about the can design change (thread is somewhere around here) and I get the feeling they didn't care about ruining my throne.. *sniff*

Just today I was considering e-mailing Nestle about the tube of Smarties I found contained only 43 Smarties, when they claimed they contained an average of 48. I know there's likely to be some variation but 5 missing Smarties is too much. That's over 10% of the average!

Oooh Yeah

25-02-2005, 03:37 PM

Dear Weetabix inc.

I was astounded this morning when I woke up for my daily dose of scrummy weetabix, instead of 12 pods of whole grain.. I found an arsenal of weopons.
This isn't what the packaging described.. and to be honest I find it disgusting, thanks to the wonder of science I have carried out an experiment on the knives and found that they are in fact sharp. and could be a danger to other people, I was a clever bunny and didn't play :D

http://img183.exs.cx/img183/640/untitled305pa.th.jpg (http://img183.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img183&image=untitled305pa.jpg)

I would like you to give me a full re-fund, I have documented the evidence with some photos seen below.

Yours faithfully.

- Spence.

Al2

25-02-2005, 04:26 PM

I bet you can do a bastard load of damage with a potato masher.

Cynic

25-02-2005, 04:31 PM

Question to OH: Do these flapjacks taste any good?

EDIT; Nevermind

I've got lots of things I'd complain about but, well, I'm a lazy chicken :(

Al2

25-02-2005, 04:33 PM

He says they're foul:

I was going to attack the tatse of the product too, but i ate one and they're actually quite nice, just piddly small.

Aquarium

25-02-2005, 05:25 PM

they aint foul, they be nice, just far too small.

i wish they where foul then i could have complained more.

Wahoo

25-02-2005, 05:43 PM

now just to complain to people who put only a few crisps in their packets and i will be happy :O

Macca

25-02-2005, 05:44 PM

You should say
"I got mad wicked munchies dudes and these tiny flap-jack bars did not satisfy my appitite for carbohydrate based snacks so I bought just one pack of your leading rival's product, (X) and they did satisfy my hunger. If you don't rectify this, stoners all over the country will unite against you and boycott your brand!"
Or words to that effect, they shall fear bankrupcy for the mighty stoners make up 70% of their revenue!!!!

Oooh Yeah

25-02-2005, 06:10 PM

I bet you can do a bastard load of damage with a potato masher.

you'd think so.. http://www.mfiap.com/airsoft/gr_m24.htm

Smartie

25-02-2005, 06:10 PM

genius.
i hope the mcshitties people recognise your pain, and send you free flapjacks for the rest of your life*

*Unlikley to happen, but a nice thought.

bigmother

25-02-2005, 06:52 PM

If you don't rectify this, stoners all over the country will unite against you and boycott your brand!"

Yeah I can just see that:

"I'll rise up against the establishment later, I swear"

moovok

25-02-2005, 07:31 PM

Good on ya! I say more people need to complain cause without complaints the product makers wouldn't know what the consumer wants and we want better quality flapjacks (and postal service - don't get me started on that!) :D

tutacanaras

25-02-2005, 07:38 PM

I reckon mcvities are going to send down a biscuit assasin to bump you off.
Watch out for the deadly spinning rich tea.

Oodles

25-02-2005, 07:42 PM

Or... he could get some free Jaffa Cakes. Ooh.. the Jaffaness. Wait, tell me again, biscuit or cake?!

flapjackboy

25-02-2005, 07:55 PM

I must say, I was very disappointed to see such a meagre offering by McVities in the flapjack department. Being something of a flapjack connosieur, I hope you succeed in chastising McVities and getting some free munchies out of them.

Cryomaniac

26-02-2005, 12:24 PM

Wait, tell me again, biscuit or cake?!

I cant remember, but there was a court case to prove which one it was (not as daft as it sounds, it had something to do with VAT)

Midget

26-02-2005, 12:37 PM

I'm sure some of you will have read my rant in the cheesebin a few days ago about Cadburys Fudge, well here is a copy of a complaint I've just sent them via their online feedback form.
OK, listen up people and listen good.
A few days ago I was giddly anticipating buying one of your delicious Fudge bars with my left over change from lunch, I was literally bouncing up and down as I searched for the precious treat in the chocolate stand in my local shop.
But then it happened, I saw the price clearly labelled on your Fudge bar and it made me sob (much like a baby would) to find that you have upped the price from 10p to 15p. Now, after recovering from the shock I am outraged at this and what angers me furthermore is the fact that your chomp bar which is approximately the same size and weight is still 10 pence. Now where is the logic in that? I understand that production of fudge may cost more than the caramel of a chomp, but they used to be 10p and it isn't like they've gotten bigger (if anything, they're smaller) so why the sudden change in price?
Why must you taunt me? All I wanted was a fudge to lovingly feast on after my lunch, but no, I was stuck with a fat, chewy, disgusting chomp all because of you.
I am completely appalled by this and will most certainly cease to purchase your products in future depending on the reply from this enquiry (if any)
With love
Marvin XXX

I hope they send me free stuff. ^__^

bigmother

26-02-2005, 12:39 PM

"if the jaffa cake were to be a biscuit it would swiftly be taxed, whereas a cake it gets away with it... The VAT Act of 1983 was a bit woolly on what constituted a cake so in 1991 it fell to a tribunal to decide. First of all they looked at the sponge base, and accepted that it was a sponge cake, containing fat, sugar, eggs and flour, like sponge cake should. It was all looking rosy in the garden for McVitie's. But the tribunal then took into consideration the fact that Jaffa Cakes were sold in packs of 3 up to 24, and they assosciated themselves with biscuits in retail outlets. It looked like the tribunal was going to find in favour of the Inland Revenue. When Mcvitie's played their trump card a 12 inch-wide Jaffa Cake. One giant Jaffa Cake later, the tribunal concluded that, while the product had some of the characteristics of biscuits or confectionary, it had sufficient cake characteristics to be a cake."

Taken from Nicey and Wifey's "A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down"

Zoidy

26-02-2005, 01:07 PM

I am sorry to say that this debacle has ruined my faith in Mcvities and, by extension, humanity.

Argh! Mcscurveys can't fit more than 5 flapjack bars into a seven pack case. The world and all human life now has no meaning. I am so with you on this one OH.

Al2

26-02-2005, 01:17 PM

CAKE! Starts soft, goes hard! CAKE! ARGH

No, not you argh. Go back to sleep.

mrikasu

26-02-2005, 01:29 PM

I'm sure some of you will have read my rant in the cheesebin a few days ago about Cadburys Fudge, well here is a copy of a complaint I've just sent them via their online feedback form.

I hope they send me free stuff. ^__^

Err... Fudge bars have been 15p as long as I can remember.

Seriously, I don't think they have been 10p in my lifetime.

Oooh Yeah

26-02-2005, 02:09 PM

i remember them being 10p. they got jacked up when they moved over to foil wrappers if i remember correctly, because twirlys went up too.

Patrick Moore

26-02-2005, 02:14 PM

I thaught the deciding factor in the biscuit/cake argument was that they went hard. When biscuits go stale, they soften. Cakes harden.

today, my mother has sent a letter to bird's eye about their peas. They do claim to freshly pack them as soon as they're picked and we found out they're right. Our bag of frozen peas contained 3 leaves and a slug.

Tweekish

26-02-2005, 02:26 PM

Our bag of frozen peas contained 3 leaves and a slug.

Thats disgusting! I hope they personally come to your house and beg for forgiveness! I used to be a chef and once we found a spider in the salad leaves. A huge spider :S

Fudge bars were 10p when I was at Primary school, I used to buy one on the way home from time to time. This was 15 or so years ago though....

Any news from McVities yet? Im eager to know what their response is! I personaly though they would have you killed, what with them being a faceless organisation with possible ties to the Mafia. But im prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt if they shower you with free flapjacks.

Aquarium

26-02-2005, 03:29 PM

nothing yet sadly tweekish, but it is Saturday so i wasn't really expecting one. I have decided that if i get no letter, or a dismissive letter, or an obvious computer generated letter i am going to complain again about the quality of their letters.

mcvities, don't dissapoint me!

and Marvin, seeing as fudges have been 15p for almost a decade i think they may catch on you aint a regular consumer and therefore not care.

Oooh Yeah

26-02-2005, 03:39 PM

that was part of their advertising campaigns, pees selected by P-list celebritys... must be one of charlie's (from busted) eye brow slugs...

Meatwad

26-02-2005, 03:42 PM

Hobnobs.... Heh heh heh.

You should be complaining about their name having a second, dirty meaning.

Aquarium

26-02-2005, 03:44 PM

Hobnobs.... Heh heh heh.

You should be complaining about their name having a second, dirty meaning.

if they don't reply i will refer to that in the next letter.

thankyou.

something along the lines of them corrupting todays youth with their knob related foodstuffs

Tweekish

26-02-2005, 04:33 PM

nothing yet sadly tweekish, but it is Saturday so i wasn't really expecting one.

Im too excited for my own good.....

Macca

27-02-2005, 03:02 AM

Write a letter if you can be arsed as this is usually more successful, someone minused my last post about munchies and I'm a little pissed off as it was supposed to be funny!!

mittens

27-02-2005, 07:48 PM

you poor, poor dearie.

i wish you best of luck in your quest for adequately satisfying foodstuffs.

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 11:54 AM

we have a response!

but i;m afraid it's not the most exciting, they went for the dismissive formal angle.

here i said response

Thank you for your e-mail in connection with a pack of McVities Hobnobs
Flapjacks and how you were disappointed with the actual product compared to
the size of the packaging.

The packaging of our products is under constant review and great care,
attention and research is given to the development of new packaging. Our
first concern is to ensure that the product is effectively protected
against damage or contamination in transit. We also aim to package our
products in ways which reflect how people prefer to use them.

We certainly never aim to wrap our products in more packaging than is
necessary to give them maximum protection as this would add to the cost for
both ourselves and the consumer.

We appreciate the concerns of our consumers and your comments will be
passed on to our Marketing department for their information.

Regards
Carol Gleeson

Consumer Services Department

a dull response i feel, i will reply to this later on today i think but for now i will get some food, any suggestions of what to add in are greatly appreciated. I might go for the safety angle in the next one.

n00bzilla

28-02-2005, 12:04 PM

write "gimme free stuffs or i'll sick watchdog on ya" that will have them throwing freebies at you

AngryPaul

28-02-2005, 12:21 PM

write "gimme free stuffs or i'll sick watchdog on ya" that will have them throwing freebies at youBut in better English of course.

They'll appreciate that.

If many of us complain to Watchdog they might actually take notice and put us on the telly.

Any takers?

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 12:24 PM

here is what i have so far for my response:

Dear Miss Gleeson,
Thankyou for the prompt response to my query, this will hopefully alleviate the sleepless nights this episode has caused me.
I am glad to see that Mcvities takes such care over the physical and emotional well being, of not just flapjacks, but your entire biscuit range. It is a noble cause to aim to deliver each flapjack(regardless of size) in mint condition and i would like to aid you in this.

To this end i have developed a protection device, specifically designed for your unique size of flapjacks. I call it, The FlapJacket. (if any w&bobber can knock up a picture it would be nifteeeeee)

This encasing sponge jacket will act as a shock absorber during transit, and if damaged can be discarded as it is but packaging, However! If it is still intact then it is a lovely bonus for the consumer, a gift from Mcvities to them, so both can share in the wonder of the perfectly preserved flapjack within.

The major benefit is that when the consumer opens their newly purchased wonder box they wll see it is packed with goodness, and not just 5 scared flapjacks huddled in a corner of a box that could have been designed for microwave pizzas.

I beg you, think of the consumer, think of the flapjacks.

Yours Caringly

Chris Flint

P.S: Do management eat normal Mcvities Biscuits or do they have a special selection inaccessible to the common man?

thats just a rough idea. any suggestions/alterations? and if anyone can knock up a picture of a flapjacket twould be nifty also.

edit: as for watchdogifying them i;m enjoying this more, i don't actually want free stuff, just a half decent response

AngryPaul

28-02-2005, 12:26 PM

P.S: Do management eat normal Mcvities Biscuits or do they have a special selection inaccessible to the common man?You read my mind.

I've been looking for an opportunity to ask that since I was 5.

Twatybollocks

28-02-2005, 12:27 PM

P.S: Do management eat normal Mcvities Biscuits or do they have a special selection inaccessible to the common man?

That's a class line!!

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 12:39 PM

You read my mind.

I've been looking for an opportunity to ask that since I was 5.

those opportunities are rarer than you might think

skoo

28-02-2005, 12:40 PM

Thread the livers Thread delivers.

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 12:59 PM

Dear Miss Gleeson,
Thankyou for the prompt response to my query, this will hopefully alleviate the sleepless nights this episode has caused me.
I am glad to see that Mcvities takes such care over the physical and emotional well being, of not just flapjacks, but your entire biscuit range. It is a noble cause to aim to deliver each flapjack(regardless of size) in mint condition and i would like to aid you in this.

To this end i have developed a protection device, specifically designed for your unique size of flapjacks. I call it, The FlapJacket. (if any w&bobber can knock up a picture it would be nifteeeeee)

This encasing sponge jacket will act as a shock absorber during transit, and if damaged can be discarded as it is but packaging, However! If it is still intact then it is a lovely bonus for the consumer, a gift from Mcvities to them, so both can share in the wonder of the perfectly preserved flapjack within.

The major benefit is that when the consumer opens their newly purchased wonder box they wll see it is packed with goodness, and not just 5 scared flapjacks huddled in a corner of a box that could have been designed for microwave pizzas.

Another suggestion is my idea of 'Window On The World (TM)' packaging. This incorporates a window in the front of the packaging which gives two benefits. Not only can the consumers stare in wonderment at the snacks so carefully packaged for their enjoyment, but the snacks themselves can look out and enjoy the world around them. In this way the snacks can fully enjoy the wonderful life that McVities has bestowed upon them.

I beg you, think of the consumer, think of the flapjacks.

Yours Caringly

Chris Flint

P.S: Do management eat normal Mcvities Biscuits or do they have a special selection inaccessible to the common man?

many thankees to Minted for the Window on the world idea and text.

considering ditching the paragraph above it though, views?

Horse

28-02-2005, 01:00 PM

P.S: Do management eat normal Mcvities Biscuits or do they have a special selection inaccessible to the common man?

That's the kind of question that will get you killed.

PS. The thread had given me the courage to ring Lynx and ask them why my can of deodorant discharged itself while I wasn't there.

many thankees to Minted for the Window on the world idea and text.

considering ditching the paragraph above it though, views?

No leave it, it reinforces the original complaint.

Macca

28-02-2005, 01:01 PM

You should be aiming to get free stuff!! And yes, I'm sure they have monster sized flapjacks for themselves!!!
http://img87.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img87&image=mcvitiesnewpackageing9wl.png

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 01:01 PM

That's the kind of question that will get you killed.

PS. The thread had given me the courage to ring Lynx and ask them why my can of deodorant discharged itself while I wasn't there.

in what sense 0_o

sounds dirty to me

Pilk Man

28-02-2005, 01:02 PM

Score one to the general public!

I like the threat for watchdog...

If all else fails, tell them to expect me outside their HQ in the morning with my Big-Stompy-Robot (C)

I will see justice prevail...

Macca

28-02-2005, 01:08 PM

I sayPETITION!!!

Ps Check the link to my artistic rendering of your packaging idea, I did it like that on purpose I swear!!

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 01:09 PM

Dear Miss Gleeson,
Thankyou for the prompt response to my query, this will hopefully alleviate the sleepless nights this episode has caused me.
Although i do not understand the need for such protection (i am not aware of flapjacks containing any fragile internal workings) I am glad to see that Mcvities takes such care over the physical and emotional well being, of not just flapjacks, but your entire biscuit range. It is a noble cause to aim to deliver each flapjack(regardless of size) in mint condition and i would like to aid you in this.

To this end i have developed a protection device, specifically designed for your unique size of flapjacks. I call it, The FlapJacket. (if any w&bobber can knock up a picture it would be nifteeeeee)

This encasing sponge jacket will act as a shock absorber during transit, and if damaged can be discarded as it is but packaging, However! If it is still intact then it is a lovely bonus for the consumer, a gift from Mcvities to them, so both can share in the wonder of the perfectly preserved flapjack within.

The major benefit is that when the consumer opens their newly purchased wonder box they wll see it is packed with goodness, and not just 5 scared flapjacks huddled in a corner of a box that could have been designed for microwave pizzas.

Another suggestion is my idea of 'Window On The World (TM)' packaging. This incorporates a window in the front of the packaging which gives two benefits. Not only can the consumers stare in wonderment at the snacks so carefully packaged for their enjoyment, but the snacks themselves can look out and enjoy the world around them. In this way the snacks can fully enjoy the wonderful life that McVities has bestowed upon them.

I beg you, think of the consumer, think of the flapjacks.

Yours Caringly

Chris Flint

P.S: Do management eat normal Mcvities Biscuits or do they have a special selection inaccessible to the common man?

bold has been added in since draft a, underlined is to be ditched (probably0, c'mon people, suggestions, i don't want to threaten legal action, its just a bit of fun

i was sorely tempted to add in "If so can i have one" after the management biscuits but thats a bit like begging.

cheers for the drawing macca but the flapjacket is sponge, not blue bubblewrap.

Horse

28-02-2005, 01:10 PM

in what sense 0_o

sounds dirty to me

Killed in the dead kind of sense. And discharged as in blew it's load till it had no more to blow* (while I wasn't there).

* i.e. tiswos empty when I came to use it.

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 01:11 PM

And discharged as in blew it's load till it had no more to blow* (while I wasn't there).

the dirty slag

Horse

28-02-2005, 01:16 PM

the dirty slag

Yes, it must have been some attractive looking shower gel!

Anyhoo, good luck with the comeback letter! :)

PS And I like how "Location: on this bloody forum the dirty slag" has worked itself out in that post.

Pilk Man

28-02-2005, 01:17 PM

the dirty slag

Perhaps you should get it some desensitizing cream of some sort...

AngryPaul

28-02-2005, 01:22 PM

considering ditching the paragraph above it though, views?I thought the imagery of 5 flapjacks being scared was beautiful.

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 01:42 PM

a picture made by minted.

i think this is briliant

http://img55.exs.cx/img55/3775/flapjacket24xs.gif

Pilk Man

28-02-2005, 01:46 PM

I thought the imagery of 5 flapjacks being scared was beautiful.

5 brave little flapjacks setting off on their adventures through life...and inadvertantley the human colon...

piemastermike

28-02-2005, 02:22 PM

If I had a hat, I would take it off to you sir

Macca

28-02-2005, 02:25 PM

I liked my "My Son Designed this" approach!!

Minted's one IS better though!!

Pilk Man

28-02-2005, 02:41 PM

If I had a hat, I would take it off to you sir

Not me I take it?

FoxDhoj

28-02-2005, 02:46 PM

a picture made by minted.

i think this is briliant

http://img55.exs.cx/img55/3775/flapjacket24xs.gif

I am liking the compass in teh corner...

It can't be this hard to get freebies from United Biscuits. I sent a short email to them about a burnt Hula Hoop and got freebies. Honestly, what are they thinking? That this is a piss take? *snigger*

mrikasu

28-02-2005, 02:56 PM

This thread gets better by the page.

I remembered today that I bought a rather overpackaged McVities Muffin a few weeks back and thought it was a bit of a rip off.
I am currently looking out for one and if/when I find one I would be more than willing to measure it up and send a similar letter or combine it into yours.

Thanks for entertaining me.

Katie_D

28-02-2005, 03:03 PM

FoxDhoj

28-02-2005, 03:10 PM

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 03:11 PM

I'm really tempted to send an e-mail to Herbal Essence, complaining about their shampoo and conditioner. The adverts clearly show that using them can bring a woman to sexual climax, but I used it and got nothing. I even went on the website to get the e-mail address, only to find they don't actually have one. They only have a phone number and I'mnot brave enough to phone up and complain.

you're right, i just looked too, no email address at all.

i did however find this whch made me smile.

Complaints.com received the following consumer message on November 7, 2002:

From: stewart

RE: Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo -TV ad not appropriate for children

I am a disgruntled mother. My daughter and I were watching a television program two evenings ago when a commercial for Herbal Essences Shampoo was aired. My five year old daughter watched the ad. When it was over she looked at me and asked "What was that woman moaning for in the shower?".

As a mother my heart sank. I had no idea how to answer her question. We have a policy in our house not to answer our daughter's questions with "I don't know". So the best I could come up with was to tell my daughter that the woman was paid to act crazy in the shower.

Do the people at Clairol and the advertising Agency for Clairol have this little regard for our children? I truly hope they will reconsider their choices in advertising.

I would love to see all of the other offended women, men, mothers and fathers respond to this barrage of filth on our televisions by writing, calling, emailing their newspapers, radio stations, television stations, clairol, the advertising agency, the major networks, anyone they can think of to remove this form of advertising from view of our children.

I am not usually moved to such a reaction, knowing that I make the decision as to what my child is exposed to, but when "family entertainment" turns into a sexual commercial during family television time I can not help but become irate.

Our children are exposed to enough at school. Let's come together to protect them at home.

Jenny Stewart
mother of a five year old

skoo

28-02-2005, 03:12 PM

a picture made by minted.

i think this is briliant

http://img55.exs.cx/img55/3775/flapjacket24xs.gif

Good picture, except the side view is way wrong.. flapjacks arent that "tall". Like the style on it though.

Edit: I may have misunderstood, is that packaging PER flapjack, or for the entire pack?

Edit 2: Is the sponge eddible? I suggest the sponge from a jaffa cake.

Macca

28-02-2005, 03:24 PM

Oh yes, what a double treat that would be, a flapjack, then you realise, wahey, I have a jaffacake too!!! Then you'd have a wrapper on that too!

I still like my design with bubble wrap, then you get a free toy, everybody loves bubble wrap!!!

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 03:28 PM

Edit 2: Is the sponge eddible? I suggest the sponge from a jaffa cake.

genius, i hadn't thought about which particular sponge type to use, i didn't realise jaffa cakes where mcvities also(these guys rule the world).

Jaffa sponge would be perfect, it has just the right shock absorbing characteristics.

and yes, the sponge was always intended to be edible.

Minted

28-02-2005, 03:31 PM

The general idea here was to create the ultimate flapjack protection system, whilst still allowing the customer to view the flapjack (and indeed the flapjack to look out) the 'Window On The World (TM)' packaging.

This protective sponge jacket would be applied on a per flapjack basis. In this way the removal and consumption of a single flapjack would not be detrimental to the snug fit of the protective sponge casings around the other flapjacks.

The sponge itself was intended to be of a similar type to that used in Jaffa Cakes, as it was assumed McVities would have an ample supply of said material.

Optionally (and not shown in the diagram) the underside of the sponge casing could be chocolate coated. This would greatly reduce the chances of people discarding these cases and causing litter.

Enviromentally friendly, cost effective, and also better value. This design meets all specified requirements.

Patrick Moore

28-02-2005, 03:32 PM

Screw it, I'm going to e-mail wrigleys.

I once ate a whole pack of those 82p thin ice dealys and I still couldn't breathe ice.

Wankers.

skoo

28-02-2005, 03:38 PM

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 03:40 PM

You know, this could actually be a new product.

You could either remove the flapjack and have two snacks, or eat it the "Flappacake" all at once.

There is certainly room in the market for more interactive foods.

flappacake sounds somewhat dirty, or is that just me?

can't hurt to suggest it, i'll knock up a new draft in a bit

Horse

28-02-2005, 03:44 PM

The Visioneer

28-02-2005, 03:46 PM

flappacake sounds somewhat dirty, or is that just me
Didn't you know? Sex sells!

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 03:46 PM

Surely you would still need to package the packaging?

that is true, but due to the shock absorbing nature of the above mentioned sponge the packaging could be kept to a minimum, mcvities stated that most of the packaging is there for protection, this takes away the need for most of that packaging

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 04:05 PM

Right then. I think we have what is nearing a finished version.

once again stuff added since original draft is bolded, and I guess we'll keep the paragraph about scared flapjacks as folks seem to likes it.

Dear Miss Gleeson,

Thankyou for the prompt response to my query, this will hopefully alleviate the sleepless nights this episode has caused me. Although I do not understand the need for such protection (I am not aware of flapjacks containing any fragile internal workings) I am glad to see that Mcvities takes such care over the physical and emotional well being, of not just flapjacks, but your entire biscuit range. It is a noble cause to aim to deliver each flappjack(regardless of size) in mint condition and I would like to aid you in this.

To this end I have developed a protection device, specifically designed for your unique size of flapjacks. I call it, The FlapJacket.

http://img55.exs.cx/img55/3775/flapjacket24xs.gif
This encasing sponge jacket (Jaffa sponge would be ideal and, I assume, easy to obtain) will act as a shock absorber during transit, and if damaged can be discarded as it is but packaging, However, If it is still intact then it is a lovely bonus for the consumer, an edible gift from Mcvities to them, so both can share in the wonder of the perfectly preserved flapjack within. After much discussion our marketing Dept has suggested the combined name "Flappacakes." An entirely new range that could revolutionise biscuit-making in todays competitive market.

The major benefit is that when the consumer opens their newly purchased wonder box they will see it is packed with goodness, and not just 5 scared flapjacks huddled in a corner of a box that could have been designed for microwave pizzas.

Another suggestion is my idea of 'Window On The World (TM)' packaging. This incorporates a window in the front of the packaging which gives two benefits. Not only can the consumers stare in wonderment at the snacks so carefully packaged for their enjoyment, but the snacks themselves can look out and enjoy the world around them. In this way the snacks can fully enjoy the wonderful life that McVities has bestowed upon them.

I beg you, think of the consumer, think of the flapjacks.

Yours Caringly

Chris Flint

P.S: Do management eat normal Mcvities Biscuits or do they have a special
selection inaccessible to the common man?

there. reviews? any final alterations/additions?

cheers for the suggestions so far folks.

Al2

28-02-2005, 04:09 PM

If I had a hat, I would take it off to you sir
I have!

<dons hat>
<takes it off>

All done :)

From Minted's picture, am I to take it that two sides of each flapjack will be exposed? Not covered in sponge?

I fear he may have chosen the wrong sides to expose! Consider the internal structure of your common-or-garden flapjack: It is layered of yummy cereal pieces like a wall made of slate. On top, there ought to be some form of chocolate, no?

So the places where the pieces can come out most easily are the long sides, where the cereal flakies can be knocked clean out of their sticky matrix; at the ends they're somewhat more robust because of the way they're welded when they leave the factory; the same reinforcement applies to the bottom; and there's chocolate on top.

So really, the sponge packet should expose only the top of the flapjack! Certainly not the sides! Nono...

Ah! Alas, I was too bone-idle to realise the difference between "top elevation" and "front elevation", the latter of which doesn't exist...

Flack

28-02-2005, 04:10 PM

Double post =-P

Nah, it seems rather humourous to me, It should do well... Just the dimensions on the picture seem a bit wrong...

Horse

28-02-2005, 04:11 PM

Need a c in front of ould and the exclamation mark after however should be replaced with a comma.

Other than that, great work!

The Visioneer

28-02-2005, 04:13 PM

Nicely done I say!

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 04:15 PM

Need a c in front of ould and the exclamation mark after however should be replaced with a comma.

Other than that, great work!

editZored .

skoo

28-02-2005, 04:18 PM

This is the thread that keeps on giving.

I wish we had more threads like this.

I would rate this thread five, if I hadn't already done so.

...and other such slogans.

Katie_D

28-02-2005, 04:19 PM

You really should have copyrighted that idea. :(

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 04:25 PM

You really should have copyrighted that idea. :(

aint sent it yet, we still could edit: <----meh, me be ignorant of legal matters
can;t really be arsed though

skoo

28-02-2005, 04:26 PM

No need, it is clearly provided here with todays date and time.

TusksRUs

28-02-2005, 04:33 PM

And tomorrow it will be yesterdays date and time.

But that's tomorrows yesterday, not today's yesterday, and definatly not yesterday's tomorrow. (well actually it is yesterday's tomorrow :p)

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 04:54 PM

well thats the e-mail sent.

only change i made wa sto replace common man with common consumer.

Now to await their response yet again.

thankees everyone for the suggestions and contributions

Lewiji

28-02-2005, 04:58 PM

PS. The thread had given me the courage to ring Lynx and ask them why my can of deodorant discharged itself while I wasn't there.

:eek: I noticed that too. Here is the letter I sent them:

I have bought Lynx bodyspray for as long as I can remember: In particular, the Dimension, Africa and Pulse.

However, over the last 6 months, I have taken action to monitor a syndrome of the new packaging I call:

"GHOST CAN EMPTYING"

I have had to buy lynx more often than ever before, due to the spectral syndrome the poor cans seem to suffer from.

Here is my experiment in as much detail as I can be bothered to write it in.

INTRODUCTION
Lynx Bodyspray is a deodorising product designed for male homo sapiens to prevent bodily odour and replace it with a sweet, perfume smell that attracts members of the opposite sex.
It has been noticed that the cans empty themselves over time.

HYPOTHESIS:
Cans which have never been used will stay full. Cans which have been used will empty themselves.

PRELIMINARY EXPERIMENT:

"Pulse" Spray.
Used once and left while using rival products.

The spray was used once, ensured that the button was not pressed, and left until the spray emitted from the can was neutral.

It took 3 weeks for the can to empty.

MANAGED EXPERIMENT:

Sprays to be tested:
Africa
Dimension
Pulse

Africa: Unnoted (Exceeded timeframe of experiment)
Dimension: 5 weeks
Pulse: 2 weeks

As you can see, the newer the fragrance, the shorter the time period that the spectral spray syndrome will take action.

Conclusion:

Lynx sprays and packaging suffer a minute flaw in the pressure valve of the spray system which, when broken, will slowly leak. This has to be rectified before the consumer spends too much, making Unilever a superrich company who shall take over the world and turn us all into communists. Nice smelling communists.

I hope you will take my hard work into account, and will rectify the problem through means of SSS immunization.

Lewis

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 05:01 PM

did you get a response or did you send it recently?

Lewiji

28-02-2005, 05:15 PM

Just sent it before I posted :p

Patrick Moore

28-02-2005, 05:17 PM

Can anyone actually find a website for wrigleys?

The Visioneer

28-02-2005, 05:19 PM

http://www.wrigley.com/
google ;)

Patrick Moore

28-02-2005, 05:20 PM

I was searching wrigleys.

The Visioneer

28-02-2005, 05:22 PM

A simple "wrigley's gum" found it for me, no worries.
EDIT: oh, and the seem to call those thin thingys 'Eclipse Flash Strips' on the site :rolleyes:

Patrick Moore

28-02-2005, 05:29 PM

A short while ago I purchaced a packet of your "thin ice" after seeing an advertisment on television. Firstly I was shocked at the 82 pence price tag, but I bought them anyway. I ate one, and it was very refreshing but found myself no more attractive to the opposite sex and my breath was also still really quite warm. I Had another to see if it would help, but I was, again, disappointed.

At this point I was really rather cross. I consumed the whole pack, about 30 if I remember correctly, and once the burning sensation behind my eyeballs and sinuses had finished, I ran to a window and breathed as much as my lungs would allow.

Still; no ice.

I have not seen them advertised recently, or being sold, but I thaught I should bring this to your attention as it has been at the back of my mind for some time.

Thankyou for reading, I hope for a response soon.

Boosh!

I want some free gum.

And that's the maerican site, lemonboy. www.wrigley.co.uk

The Visioneer

28-02-2005, 05:51 PM

I though you lived in Birmingham, USA, honest :ninja:

screwed over again :(

skoo

28-02-2005, 05:59 PM

Back on topic.

Katie_D

28-02-2005, 07:10 PM

Seeing as this is becoming a bit of a complaint e-mail thread, I thought I'd post my own. It's slightly serious, I was going to write an amusing one at first, to entertain the poor sod who has to read and reply to complaint e-mails, then I realised I couldn't be bothered.

The following e-mail I just sent to Argos is slightly untrue. I don't always shop with them. The straightners didn't necessarily have a "substance" on them. I don't shop with them near Christmas time, and town is actually a 5 minute bus journey from me. Oh well...I hope I get vouchers.

To whom it may concern,

I have been a customer of Argos for many years and have almost never been disappointed with the service that you provide. I've always found your staff to be very courteous, and your returns policy untouchable. (This is bullplop, I don't think I've ever met a friendly Argos employee)

However, I bought a pair of Babyliss Thermaglass slim salon straighteners (Argos cat. page 1031) from you a few days ago only to get home, open the box and find out that this product had already been opened. I knew this, because the plastic bag had been obviously been ripped open, the plug which is usually wrapped up and protected was just left untangled in he box and some parts were not even included. Worse still, these straightners had actually been used by someone, because there were fingerprints all over the handles, and a substance (that is found on used straightners) on the glass plates. Ok, slightly exageratted, but I swear they were open! They were £80 too, so I should atleast have brand new ones.

I cannot explain how disappointed I was, as these straighteners were certainly not cheap and I had to make a journey into the nearest town to purchase them which also costs money and took up a lot of time.Nearest town being about 4 miles away and involving a £2.20 bus fee. Personally, I think I deserve compensation for going into Doncaster

Because the straightners were obviously used as well, I had to return them for hygiene reasons. I took them back, and was offered a refund, but got absolutely no compensation what so ever, just apologies. Please don‘t misunderstand me, I was grateful for the employees co-operation. Also, I understand this may not be your problem, and you cannot keep track of all your items in store, but this mistake cost me more money and involved another long journey into town, which was awkward as I am a full time student with not a lot of spare time on my hands. So little infact, I spent a good 20 minutes writing this, whilst watching tv and looking over the forums. I wasn't even that grateful for apologies, they shouldn't sell things on that have obviously been used and returned

I hate to inform you, but this has been the second incident with your store which involved me returning a product that had already been opened and returned by someone else. The last product was a £199.99 Philips Jukebox. I did not find the need to complain about this product as I assumed the reason it wasn't working was down to something electrical, before realising it had been opened. It involved another return, and eventually a trip to an Argos store about fifty miles away from the store nearest to me because they were the only ones to have it in stock. This was actually true, it annoyed me greatly because we got no apologies

I do not want to stop shopping at Argos, I find your customer service very useful most of the time. I was just disappointed that Argos passed this problem off so easily and offered no compensation. I have spent a lot of money in your shop over the past few years, I often shop with you around Christmas time, I expected an offer of vouchers for our misfortune, but we got nothing but a return. Actually, I wouldn't mind not shopping there. I'm already banned from Woolworths because I worked there for awhile then just disappeared, what's one more loss of a rip off chain store going to do to me?

I am simply asking for a real reason for this mistake. Why do you allow previously used products to be sold in your stores? Some compensation would be greatly appreciated. Honestly, I couldn't care less why it happened, it was just annoying to me and I think I deserve atleast some compensation after being messed around by them more than once

I hope you will take the time out to reply to my e-mail. (As if they will)

I only wrote this because you gave me the idea to. I hope you get atleast something for your troubles, it must have been heart breaking seeing only five flapjacks in a place that could accomidate more. I salute you, for standing up for the little guy for once!

EyesOnly

28-02-2005, 07:11 PM

And the waiting game begins!

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 07:16 PM

And the waiting game begins!

indeedy, this one was sent during the week so it shouldn't take as long for a reply, i'm hoping tommorrow.

and Katie, you may actually get something from your complaint, i doubt the idea of sending me stuff even crossed their mind when they read the email, more a case of whether they should reply at all :D

you should have said the hair straighteners killed your hamster/poodle/fish though, go for the sympathy vote

Katie_D

28-02-2005, 07:21 PM

indeedy, this one was sent during the week so it shouldn't take as long for a reply, i'm hoping tommorrow.

and Katie, you may actually get something from your complaint, i doubt the idea of sending me stuff even crossed their mind when they read the email, more a case of whether they should reply at all :D

you should have said the hair straighteners killed your hamster/poodle/fish though, go for the sympathy vote

I was going to say my hair fell out because of it, but I don't want tempt fate, as I have got another pair now and knowing Argos they could bug them to have some hair falling out powder on them...

What will you do if Mcvities hire a sniper? You could be randomly sat at home, when a bullet flies past your head. (They wouldn't be able to hire a good sniper, PC World, Dixons and Woolworths own them all). I fear for your safety now.

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 07:24 PM

I was going to say my hair fell out because of it, but I don't want tempt fate, as I have got another pair now and knowing Argos they could bug them to have some hair falling out powder on them...

What will you do if Mcvities hire a sniper? You could be randomly sat at home, when a bullet flies past your head. (They wouldn't be able to hire a good sniper, PC World, Dixons and Woolworths own them all). I fear for your safety now.

thats alright, i plan to confuse them by dressing up as a giant penguin bar, thereby confusing the sniper with the mixed messages i am sending out.

"why would mcvities hire me to assasinate our own chocolate bars?" he would ask

"rustle" i would respond

he would then frown and walk away.

either that or i'll strap cutlery to my head to deflect bullets

Katie_D

28-02-2005, 07:31 PM

thats alright, i plan to confuse them by dressing up as a giant penguin bar, thereby confusing the sniper with the mixed messages i am sending out.

"why would mcvities hire me to assasinate our own chocolate bars?" he would ask

"rustle" i would respond

he would then frown and walk away.

either that or i'll strap cutlery to my head to deflect bullets

Or you could infact hire your own sniper! I'm sure someone on this site would be willing to give their life for the sake of biscuits and edible snacks.

What are you expecting to get through this anyway? I don't think you've told us. Personally, I hope for vouchers. There are some might nice things on the Argos website that I'd like...

argh

28-02-2005, 07:40 PM

Aquarium

28-02-2005, 07:47 PM

You guys are soo lucky to get responses. I e-mailed my old bank a while ago about why I apparently owed money on a bank accound I closed, and I got an e-mail telling me that they would e-mail me back about it; so far, they haven't. I did however get a statement today saying that I didn't owe money because my account was closed due to inactivity.....

thats a semi result, at least they aint after your pennies anymore.

Katie: not really expecting them to send me anything, i just want to see if they'll respond with a fun friendly letter, then i'll be happy, less of this formal shmormal crap.

who am i kidding, i just want to know what biscuits management eat. I'm a fraud

Katie_D

28-02-2005, 09:16 PM

I just wrote another e-mail to the Harpic toilet cleaner company. I have yet to email it, because I havn't looked for a website, but I will in a bit! Here's the email...

To whom it may concern…

In the past I’ve had some major problems with my toilet which hasn’t always been the nicest smelling appliance out there. My friends were actually too scared to venture into my bathroom, and the few who did often came out in floods of tears.

After seeing your advert for Harpic toilet cleaner, “What is your toilet saying about you behind your back?” I decided to go out and buy your products as it sounded like you had finally found a way to make my toilet behave properly, and become a valued member of society (and make it smell nice). I was quite shocked at the price, but I would rather pay money than be verbally assaulted by my toilet.

After taking this item home and placing it in my toilet, I realised it didn’t do much. I secretly invited friends round to have conversations with my toilet, and I was shocked to find that my toilet was still talking about me behind my back. This upsets me greatly, as I held much hope in your product. I fear I may have to take things into my own hands, and speak to my toilet personally.

Why did you promise that you could stop my toilet, if you knew fine well you couldn’t? I can’t bare to think what other people with worse toilets are doing right now. Loud toilets, nasty toilets, even racist toilets! You made us a promise and broke it. In future I shall turn to other cleaning products, instead of the toilet cleaner of deceit that you hold to your name.

For shame Harpic…for shame…

Horse

01-03-2005, 08:22 AM

Just sent it before I posted :p

Keep me informed. I am going to phone them when I remember to bring in the empty can. But I'm drunk now, so I forgot.

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 12:07 PM

Worst. response. evar

:(

Thank you once again for contacting us and your two suggestions for the
product ie., 'Flappacakes' and 'Window On the World' packaging.

We have forwarded your suggestions onto our Marketing department and we
hope you will continue to enjoy our proudcts.

Regards
Carol Gleeson

Consumer Services Department

*sniff* no fun at all, what a lame response. Boo Mcvities

AngryPaul

01-03-2005, 12:10 PM

I'm starting a personal boycott.

Feel free to join in.

*refuses Jaffa Cake/Choc Digestive*

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 12:17 PM

good plan Paul, the second reply was just so dismissiv,e far more so than the first.

I urge you all to stand up to Mcvities, whenever you see someone purchasing/eating/cuddling Mcvities merchandise you should run over, knock it from their hands and scream "BORING" at the top of your lungs.

Mcvities will learn! or not

Al2

01-03-2005, 12:18 PM

Worst. response. evar

:(
Dude...

They sent your idea to Marketing...

If this turns up on shelves I'm gonna hunt you down and rob you. And maybe kill you. With electric.

Edited by skoo to remove the spelling lesson. Not welcome.

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 12:22 PM

Dude...

They sent your idea to Marketing...

If this turns up on shelves I'm gonna hunt you down and rob you. And maybe kill you. With electric.

Edited by skoo to remove the spelling lesson. Not welcome.

and they passed my previous comment to "management"

bah they went for dismissive formal letter, but we can dream of a biscuit empire, yes, we can dream.

i actually want a Flappacake now

skoo

01-03-2005, 12:28 PM

This thread is not dead yet!

Wait a few days units of time and contact marketing.

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 12:31 PM

This thread is not dead yet!

Wait a few days and contact marketing.

edit: ^edit, you all saw it!^

hmm potential.

ask them how they are coming with our designs, if they have any preliminary sketches etc.

I can only find the main email address but i could mark the next one as "for attention of Marketing"

could be fun, marketing might be more responsive :D

and this means we get to make another letter, which is always good.

agree with leaving it a couple of days though, in the meantime anyone fancy inputting suggestions for part 3?

For Attention of McVities Marketing Department. A.K.A The Biscuit Wizards.

I have been informed by your consumer services department that they have forwarded my previous suggestions to yourselves regarding various developments/alterations the McVities Flapjack brand could benefit from. I must say i was relieved when they advised me of this, i was worried they might send me a dismissive formal letter, forsooth!

Further to my previous email I was wondering if you had had time to study the suggestions and included diagram? If so what are your thoughts so far? Wonderment, or Amazement?

As time has also been passing here as it has there i have had a chance to consider some other possibilities for your products:

blah blah blah(fill in the blah blahs later)

or other some such, of course it can be made good prior to sending

Lewiji

01-03-2005, 02:51 PM

If they send another dismissive letter, direct "Carol" to this thread :p

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 03:35 PM

skoo

01-03-2005, 03:47 PM

Could mention something about "Flappacake" being set in the minds of kids from the old playground song of "Pat-a-cake".

scram

01-03-2005, 03:49 PM

I want a Fappacake.

Chavvy

01-03-2005, 03:49 PM

Isn't that like a "soggy biscuit"?

bionic sheep

01-03-2005, 03:51 PM

Complain about the dismissive formal letter.

Send out an email concerning flappacakes to all other biscuits companies.

Pitch it to everyone. I want flappacakes, damnit.

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 04:05 PM

For Attention of McVities Marketing Department. A.K.A The Biscuit Wizards.(big writing to grab their attention, or be obnoxious, whichever works)

I have been informed by your consumer services department that they have forwarded my previous suggestions to yourselves regarding various developments/alterations the McVities Flapjack brand could benefit from. I must say i was relieved when they advised me of this, i was worried they might send me a dismissive formal letter, forsooth!

Further to the above mentioned email I was wondering if you had had time to study the suggestions and the included diagram? If so what are your thoughts so far? Wonderment, or Amazement?

I am most eager to discuss the Flappacake idea. I believe this could really be a winner for you guys. Rich teas where fine in their day but people are after a more extreme biscuit experience these days (Dare to Dunk?:-possible slogan?). You could put flames on the packaging and maybe include water soluble tattoos in each multipack.

More importantly you would save a fortune in advertising, when you consider the natural link most people will make between Flappacakes and Pat-a-cake, the schoolground rhyme. Children will have been ready indoctrinated with the brand. You could play on this further by making a jingle to match the pat-a-cake tune.

eg: Flappacake, Flappacake Bakers Man,
Bake me a cake as fast you can,
Make it a flapjack kept safe and sound,
Within a sponge casing, it could be found,
i'll bite it and chew it and eat it all down,
and then go out looking, there's more to be found! (thankees Minted, i stole a couple of your lines)

and more importantly this kind of subliminal advertising is extremely hard to prove in court, the parents would be defenceless, the children manipulated. Is this not the dream of all biscuit empires?

hmmm, improving slightly but its nowhere near up to scratch

Patrick Moore

01-03-2005, 04:09 PM

No response yet :(

this thread continues to amuse me. I'm gunna start complainging about all sorts of crap. Especially things that say "not satisfied? contact us" on the back.

I might complaing to lynx about their products not making me sexy or able to dance.

argh

01-03-2005, 04:09 PM

How about..

"Preliminary market reasearch conducted by myself has found a great demand for Flappacakes. Almost everyone who has been told about the Flappacake idea has been eager to try one of these future biscuit giants."

Ignore the fact that half the people said they wanted Fappacakes.

skoo

01-03-2005, 04:14 PM

The flappacake would be buoyant. Mention its buoyancy!

argh

01-03-2005, 04:15 PM

Spongy coating could be used to sop up spilled drink?

Patrick Moore

01-03-2005, 04:16 PM

Serving flappacakes on airlines could possibly save lives as a reserve flotation device?

Chavvy

01-03-2005, 04:18 PM

I think that you should mention that you are favouring McVities over the "competition":

"I wish to also point out that, currently, only McVities are privy to this marketing information. I do need to reitterate that unless any movement is made on this that, regrettably, your competition will have to be told about this fabulous proposition as well.

For the sake of all that is holy, please do the right thing and bring Flappacakes to life."

That'll learn 'em.

scram

01-03-2005, 04:22 PM

You should at least include a small section detailing how they could repay you for the idea and precisely what royalties you would demand.

I.e.

"I would like to point out at this time that I am not an advertising agent and that I am not currently in the publicity industry. I would also like to kindly refuse any offers of employment you might offer me for your publicity department - I am saving myself for bigger things. It has just always been part of my own personal philosophy that I should help the little people whenever I can with little titbits of genius like this. I'm sure you agree that this idea is a real cracker (you can use that pun as well if you so wish).

However, kind as I am, I am not an idiot. If you wish to use my slogans, names and ideas I would naturally like a little bit of recognition. Just a simple picture of me on each packet, grinning and with thumbs up. Also, with regards to royalties, my agent will be in touch with you soon and I'm sure we can arrange something reasonable in the 10% region."

You should also end it with some pompous, self indulgent message.

Like

"Wishing you all a prosperous day.

My thoughts are with you, keep striving for a better tomorrow."

[EDIT}
Mention its buoyancy!

buoyancy is very much the WORD OF THE DAY!

Flack

01-03-2005, 04:33 PM

It has just always been part of my own personal philosophy that I should help the little people whenever I can with little titbiscuits of genius like this.

Fix0red....

Oooh Yeah

01-03-2005, 04:52 PM

i think we should boycott mcvities completely. we should stick to ainsley harriets chocolate bars that were buy one get one free in tesco a week or two ago. this will put a kink in their companys armour

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 05:46 PM

For Attention of McVities Marketing Department. A.K.A The Biscuit Wizards.(big writing to grab their attention, or be obnoxious, whichever works)

I have been informed by your consumer services department that they have forwarded my previous suggestions to yourselves regarding various developments/alterations the Mcvities Flapjack brand could benefit from. I must say I was relieved when they advised me of this; I was worried they might send me a dismissive formal letter, forsooth!

Further to the above mentioned email I was wondering if you had had time to study the suggestions and the included diagram? If so what are your thoughts so far? Wonderment, or Amazement?

I am most eager to discuss the Flappacake idea. I believe this could really be a winner for you guys. Rich teas were fine in their day but people are after a more extreme biscuit experience these days (Dare to Dunk?:-possible slogan?).

More importantly you would save a fortune in advertising, when you consider the natural link most people will make between Flappacakes and Pat-a-cake, the schoolground rhyme. Children will have been ready indoctrinated with the brand. You could play on this further by making a jingle to match the pat-a-cake tune.

eg: Flappacake, Flappacake Bakers Man,
Bake me a cake as fast you can,
Make it a flapjack kept safe and sound,
Within a sponge casing, it could be found,
I’ll bite it and chew it and eat it all down,
and then go out looking, there's more to be found!

and more importantly this kind of subliminal advertising is extremely hard to prove in court, the parents would be defenceless, the children manipulated. Is this not the dream of all biscuit empires?

Jaffa cakes are surprisingly buoyant, you could manufacture the sponge “flapjackets” to resemble small tugboats, or maybe even fishing boats, this way children could enjoy Flappacakes at all times of the day, including bathtime, or whilst being washed out to sea after falling off their real boat.

Now I am not in this to make money, I merely want to bring the wonder that is Flappacakes to the world, an extensive consumer survey shows that 98% of current biscuit buyers would consider changing brands to buy Flappacakes (yes, including those who currently buy Mcvities) You are the first company I have approached with this creation and I hope we can come to some mutual agreement as, to be honest I have always been a Mcvities Fanboy, my dream is to appear on Mcvities packaging, if it where to be on a Flappacake I would be truly overjoyed.

Yours hopefully,

Chris Flint

improving or going to the crappers? verdict?

Oooh Yeah

01-03-2005, 06:23 PM

polished, i'd go for it

killsteel

01-03-2005, 07:07 PM

Just one thing, you've written 'where' where is should be 'were'...

Otherwise it's brilliant.

Aquarium

01-03-2005, 07:16 PM

Just one thing, you've written 'where' where is should be 'were'...

Otherwise it's brilliant.

cheers

editz0red

going to leave it a day maybe before sending.

Mcvities aren't playing the game, depending on the response to the next email it may be worth trying another company, we could pitch the Flappacakes idea or come from a totally different angle.

i think with Easter coming up Cadburys are an obvious target.

We'll wait and see what Mcvities have to say for themselves, there may be some fun in them yet.

titanic

01-03-2005, 07:23 PM

Jimmeh

01-03-2005, 07:49 PM

Awsome so far, but please add on the bit again asking which biscuits they eat. If you persist one day they'll crack and tell you the secret.

Horse

02-03-2005, 09:35 AM

Phoned up Lynx, who said they had never heard of such a thing happening (that would be unstimulated can discharge) but would send me tokens to compensate me for my trouble anyway.

IMPORTANT: Keep the serial numbers of the duff cans for the Lynx duff can database. Failure to do so may jeopardise your ability to moan.

Edit:

Flappacake, Flappacake Bakers Man,
Bake me a cake as fast you can,
Make it a flapjack kept safe and sound,
Within a sponge casing, it could be found,
I’ll bite it and chew it and eat it all down,
and then go out looking, there's more to be found!

If this were to end up on TV, I might have to have you killed. Sorry.

Aquarium

02-03-2005, 11:31 AM

how much did lynx give you?

maybe i should call mcvities, hmm.

should i sedn today or leave it another day? i'm getting antsy (no attention span)

and yes, i will ask about management teatime rituals once again, their attempted misdirection will not aid them!!

skoo

02-03-2005, 11:34 AM

Today! They have had time to check internal mail.

Aquarium

02-03-2005, 11:39 AM

sentiferied

i asked about management biscuits again

P.S: further to my previous email, did management indicate you were not allowed to inform the public of their biscuit habits? If so mention eels in your response, management will never know.

I hope they give a better reply this time, we may get a response by the end of the day, they seem fairly efficient

Chavvy

02-03-2005, 11:49 AM

I am moist at the thought of their response!!

Can you honestly imagine what their initial reaction to this will be?? If I were to receive this in my inbox from my staff, I think they would hear me laughing for days. I would also answer all you questions and raise some form of compensation for your absolute chutzpah!! Lets hope that McVities management have a sense of humour..

This thread has kept my sanity for the last few days. For that alone I thank you Online Heist.

skoo

02-03-2005, 11:59 AM

Aquarium

02-03-2005, 12:05 PM

This shall not be the end of it. We will form a crack-squad of elite complainers/suggestors who "attack" a wide variety of companies, in the hopes of inciting some form of action. Even if it is just a lovely reply.

seeing as everyone has been struggling with Lynx products i have been working on a draft of a letter for them also.

not quite done. but basically it follows along the lines of Lynx coming from Lynx sweat, and how i can understand where the africa lynx comes from but i want the atlantis(aquatic lynx?) one cleared up for me. It then goes on about Lynx farming and treadmills. it has a long way to go.

once again, inputify. won't be sending it till Mcvities are all dried up on the fun stakes

titanic

02-03-2005, 12:15 PM

You people are crazy and for that i congratulate you

Can we email sun pat and protest about there unfair working conditions in the peanut butter mines? Or marmite about them paying under the minimum wage to Mongolian miners?

matt bird

02-03-2005, 12:27 PM

Someone ask about Pretzel Flips. What happened to those things? They were gorge!

Salt on a pretzel. OK. Chocolate on a pretzel. OK. Salt AND chocolate??? Fucking hell! You must be yanking my third leg! No way. No way jose. You must have muchos grandes cojones, dogg.

Alright, calm down, alright, I'll eat one, just to prove how disgusting they are. Alright then. Here we go.. I'm going to take one out of the packet - oh, it's nicely presented - put it in my mouth.. like so.. WHA?! So delicious, so crunchy, so sweet, the salt only enhances the flavour! Oh Nestlé what heavenly angel have you sent down to my mouth! I shall ne'er sin again for mere existance of this sweet snack! I am a new man!

Oh right you stopped making them. Oh.

Oh look a noose

Yeah so somebody get on the blower to Nestlé sharpish

skoo

02-03-2005, 01:32 PM

Salt & Chocolate have been winning for years.

Chef even wrote a song about it in South Park.

This is why you can not have Mcdonalds fries without a chocolate milkshake.

titanic

02-03-2005, 01:32 PM

Katie_D

02-03-2005, 01:35 PM

I got a reply to my Argos complaint. They're giving me a £10 voucher to spend at their store. It's better than nothing I suppose. I'm going to let this one go for now.

Me - 1 / Argos - Nil.

And I agree, those pretzels were amazingly tasty. I'd do anything to have a packet now, all shiny and blue. They dared cross the snack boundries, and I applaud them for that. Remember the white chocolate ones?

I really want some now. :(

I'm up for writing a complaint to Nestle, anyone else?

Minted

02-03-2005, 01:43 PM

Possibly Titanic, but our hardcore complaining will be honed by then. They won't know what hit them.

Possible reactions include:

"Woah!"

"No way?"

"How could we have been so stupid??"

"These people have shown me the true path to enlightenment and have opened the third way to the realms of love and peace. I must follow them wherever they go throwing rose petals at their feet and shouting their name for all to hear"*

Crack squad indeed. As has been pointed out, easter is closing rapidly. I feel Cadburys must be asked the question on everyones lips.

'Why are Creme Eggs so small now, have you been changing the Creme chickens genetics to make them smaller? Is it all about corporate greed? How dare you! Have you seen my car keys?'

------------------------
* this is only likely if a person who is insane recieves the email/letter by mistake.

skoo

02-03-2005, 01:49 PM

Cadburys is a great next target, but I feel we must also include pictures as with the first complaint.

We could get someone with a camera to buy some cadburys buttons, then melt the shit out of them, and take pics. We then procede to moan at cadburys to implement eddible sponge insulation/protection.

Or using the easter egg theme, buy one then smash it to shit, while we try to get them to FILL THE EGG WITH THE WHITE STUFF FROM WALNUT WHIPS.

Sorry, I got excited there.

Aquarium

02-03-2005, 01:50 PM

omfg those were the sex....

also who remembers cheesy popcorn? that stuff was also cool

but i feel they have been off the shelves for a bit to long now to start complaining that thayve gone

its going to be a sort of "what you didnt noice?" reply

we could always say that the shock when they took them off the shelves sent us into a coma. The doctors have only just managed to bring us back to conciousness through the use of regular pretzels and chocolate fondue.

edit: the sponge could become a theme in the complaints, try and include it in each one. hmm.

on a side note i think jaffacake sponge would be extremely warm to wear. mmm spongejackets

Chavvy

02-03-2005, 01:50 PM

These pretzels?? I loved those pretzels!!!

http://www.cybercandy.co.uk/acatalog/1116.jpg

I live in Croydon (twinned with hell), which is the home of Nestlé UK (our only claim to fame btw). I walk past the colour-changing-monolith that is their head quarters every day and would be happy to hand deliver a letter to them.. :D

Aquarium

02-03-2005, 07:21 PM

nothing from Mcvities yet, i'm afraid they may be giving us the cold shoulder. Ah well tommorrow is another day. They may respond then. In the meantime i have given up on the Lynx idea for now and gone with the Cadbury suggestion.

so far i have:

Dear sir/madam,

I am writing to you as a concerned consumer. For many years now I have been purchasing Cadburys Crème Eggs, however recently I am becoming concerned as I have noticed that the eggs themselves are, in fact, shrinking. Frankly, I must say that I am concerned for the welfare of your Crème chickens. Are you sure they are being fed often enough as these eggs do appear to have come from undernourished specimens.

I am also somewhat concerned regarding the quality of food you are giving to these chickens, I believe you may have too much sweet food in their diet, the yolk and white of the crème eggs I have tried have always been extremely sweet, this cannot be healthy for the parent.

In order to make an independent test of this I attempted to raise a Crème chicken myself to see if I could refine the diet and restore the eggs to their former days of glory. To this end I have been attempting to incubate crème eggs under regular chickens until they hatch. Sadly thus far all I have gained is some chickens with chocolaty rear ends. Are their any tips and/or rearing advice you can give on this?

scientific diagrams here, egg and chicken sperate, then chicken sitting on egg, then chocolatey arsed chicken.

I hope you can clear up my concerns, I look forward to your speedy response as I would hate to have to involve the R.S.P.B. in this matter.

Chris Flint

improvements or alterations? anyone with any talent able to knock up the three scientific diagrams?

Aquarium

03-03-2005, 09:44 AM

bumpification:

got the response fomr mcvities, think its time to give up, they weren't hugely fun.

Thanks again for contacing us, We do not know of any special selection of
biscuits that are just for the management, we think that they eat the
biscuits that are available to the common consumer.

Regards
Carol Gleeson

Consumer Services Department

Lewiji

03-03-2005, 09:50 AM

skoo

03-03-2005, 10:05 AM

Carol Gleeson is shit, is she the only one you have an email for?

Time to start work on a new company I think.

titanic

03-03-2005, 10:11 AM

in loving the chickens with chocolaty arses

i think your on to a winner....

and as proof that thee getting smaller. when iwas a child of around 5 i could only fit 1 whole on in my gob at once, but now 14 years and 5 foot of growth later and now i can get 2 in

there are only 2 posible explanations for this,

1. the eggs are getting smaller
2. as a child i didnt try hard enough

Horse

03-03-2005, 10:23 AM

I haven't got a response yet :(

Use the phone! 0800 585204. A nice northern lady will ask you if your seal is rusty.

In order to make an independent test of this I attempted to raise a Crème chicken myself to see if I could refine the diet and restore the eggs to their former days of glory. To this end I have been attempting to incubate crème eggs under regular chickens until they hatch. Sadly thus far all I have gained is some chickens with chocolaty rear ends. Are their any tips and/or rearing advice you can give on this?

You need to fertalise the eggs first!

edit: ^ 3. You used to care what having two chocolatey eggs in your mouth looked like.

skoo

03-03-2005, 10:28 AM

A nice northern lady will ask you if your seal is rusty.

None of her business!

Horse

03-03-2005, 10:33 AM

None of her business!

Had I not being trying to suck up for free stuff I would have said, "No, I think that's just the colour of its fur"

edit: Said can of Lynx now on sale (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=60825&item=5562829500&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW ) on ebay.

Lewiji

03-03-2005, 02:54 PM

Use the phone! 0800 585204. A nice northern lady will ask you if your seal is rusty.

Got a response just now on email:

Dear Mr Pollard

Many apologies for the inconvenience caused by your recent purchases. There is a letter on it's way to you.

Kind regards

Lindsay Edmonson
Consumer Care Advisor

Dull. Dull dull dull. We'll see if the letter contains anthrax anything more interesting.

piemastermike

03-03-2005, 03:04 PM

I sent an email (http://www.weebls-stuff.com/forums/showpost.php?p=709507&postcount=16) to a radical American christian group, themed on my disgust for their points of view. No reply yet, doubt I will get one.

titanic

03-03-2005, 03:25 PM

Stringy Pete

03-03-2005, 03:59 PM

I live in Croydon (twinned with hell), which is the home of Nestlé UK (our only claim to fame btw). I walk past the colour-changing-monolith that is their head quarters every day and would be happy to hand deliver a letter to them.. :D
Ahhh, the tallest building in Croydon (discounting the NLA tower as that is on a mini hill) if I remember correctly :D

Just read this thread and its left me in giggle fits. The sheer genius of the whole campaign is mind blowing!

argh

03-03-2005, 04:41 PM

"Dear Miss Carol Gleeson,

I do not believe you udnerstand the seriousness of my recent e-mails. When the Flappacake becaomes a huge seller for one of the other biscuit companies, you will have to answer to your higher ups.

To avioid this, I am giving you one last chance to let me talk to someone in marketing. A simple e-mail address would do, even if it's a hotmail account they open up solely for the purpose of the e-mails regarding Flappacakes. You have (insert threatening number of days here) to get back to me about this before I being sending the idea to other companies. I do hope you consider the idea, as I had hoped that this company would be the one to use my idea.

Sincerely
Your name here"

Draft for last threat!

Paradigm^

03-03-2005, 04:43 PM

Follow argh, and then actually do it - completely randomly email Mr Kipling and suggest the idea to them :D

Al2

03-03-2005, 05:13 PM

Would someone kindly e-mail Mr Kipling saying "I've tasted better."? That would be wonderful. :)

Edit: 131 people have voted on this poll.

Are there seriously 131 active members on this forum? O_o Doesn't seem like there are!

Crazy lurkers.

Katie_D

03-03-2005, 05:15 PM

Would someone kindly e-mail Mr Kipling saying "I've tasted better."? That would be wonderful. :)

But Al...he does make exceedingly good cakes! I should know, my mum got them from Asda and offer, and they were quite yummy.

Midget

03-03-2005, 05:16 PM

my mum got them from Asda and offer, and they were quite yummy.
I got your mum on offer from Asda and she was quite yummy. ¬_¬

Katie_D

03-03-2005, 05:28 PM

I got your mum on offer from Asda and she was quite yummy. ¬_¬

Well, that's just your style, Marvin. Women on offer. You have to pay for them. :p

My mummy is not cheap ¬_¬

/off topic

Maybe we should make a thread and sticky it, then dedicate it to complaints.

Flack

03-03-2005, 05:30 PM

You know what's gonna happen, dontcha... They're going to take your idea, and swear down they came up with it, not you..

Dyakson

03-03-2005, 05:49 PM

Would someone kindly e-mail Mr Kipling saying "I've tasted better."? That would be wonderful. :)

There's a slight disadvantage, in that Mr. Kipling is an invention of the marketing department and never actually existed. Mr. Kipling isn't real! Tragic. It was Father Christmas all over again when I found that out. Or like watching 'Yes Minister'...

JonathanEx

03-03-2005, 05:53 PM

There's a slight disadvantage, in that Mr. Kipling is an invention of the marketing department and never actually existed. Mr. Kipling isn't real! Tragic. It was Father Christmas all over again when I found that out. Or like watching 'Yes Minister'...

Wai-wait.... Father Christmas ISN'T real?

...

MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIEEEE!

Aquarium

03-03-2005, 07:55 PM

Carol Gleeson is shit, is she the only one you have an email for?

Time to start work on a new company I think.

fraid so, all i have is mcvities.consumerservices@biscuits.com (mwahahaha, spambots go!!)

started things off with cadburys, sent them an adjusted version of the above letter, no response as of yet. Other people should draft and send letters too, spread the love disharmony.

see if between us we can't find some company willing to play

You know what's gonna happen, dontcha... They're going to take your idea, and swear down they came up with it, not you..

would be great if they did, as was pointed out by someone previously (Skoo i believe, too lazy to check) we could sue them as it is all documented here first, now that would be fun

mysterious w

03-03-2005, 08:55 PM

Ever seen a "Snack size" Kit-kat? Measly.

I am wishing to complain about one of the products in your Kit-kat line.

I discovered upon scanning my cupboard a "Snack-size" Kit-kat. I believe this is very misleading product naming. The bar was only slightly larger than a finger of an orginal kit-kat, and only contained one, not 2 or 4 fingers.

If this is supposedly "Snack-sized" then what is a regular 4-finger kit-kat or kit-kat chunky? A small meal?

I am very aggrivated and irritated at this branding policy, and I wish for a straight answer ASAP

Yours, Matthew Walker

Aquarium

03-03-2005, 10:53 PM

and so cadburys have replied, once again not hugely exciting, in some way i think companies may not be the best targets as they seem to be limited in their responses.

the "thankyou for your enquiry regarding X, we have passed this onto our recycle bin management and/or marketing department.
we hope you continue to enjoy product X

now piss off"

at least cadburys answered the question, apparently we are wrong, they have not shrunk, we may have grown however

Thank you for your recent enquiry.

We are pleased to report that the size of the Cadbury Creme Egg has not in fact changed for the past 10 years, and we have no plans at present to alter the size in any way.

We are always very conscious of the need to maintain quality and offer good value for money, particularly in a very competitive market place. We believe that even with the cost of raw materials constantly increasing i.e. cocoa, milk and sugar that the Cadbury's Creme Egg is marketed at a very competitive price.

Thank you for taking the time to write to us and express your concern in this matter and we hope we have answered your question to your satisfaction.

Regards

Charlie
Consumer Relations Cadbury Consumer Relations Department

i think that for my next target i may try an organisation as opposed to a company, i will ahve a look and see what catches my eye.

If other people are receiving feedback from their complaints please post it, i;d like to see if anyone gets any results of any kind through this. Kudos to those who have.

titanic

03-03-2005, 11:04 PM

lets email xerox and ask them why there ink smells funny

no actualy details apart from its sort of like a dead fish mixed with cat piss

actualy im going to write this one

back soon

Dyakson

04-03-2005, 08:54 AM

lets email xerox and ask them why there ink smells funny

no actualy details apart from its sort of like a dead fish mixed with cat piss

actualy im going to write this one

back soon

It probably is made from dead fish and cat piss. How would you know?

I could wander over the campus and ask the chemical engineers to break apart their department photocopiers and do spectroscopy of the ink, to determine exactly what it is - but instead I'm going to eat a maple syrup sandwich.

Lewiji

05-03-2005, 12:03 PM

Just got a letter through't post from Lynx.

I'd scan it but my scanner appears to be buggered :p

Bit dull, other than the fact that it's insanely funny that they are going to "pass my experiment to the quality department concerned for their information and action".

Signed by a pen OMG PERSONALISED :p

Got 10 quids worth of lever fabergé vouchers though, so it's not all bad :D

Midget

05-03-2005, 12:21 PM

Just got a reply from Cadburys about the price of Fudge and I can say is WTF!?
That didn't explain at all, you suck Cadburys.

OK, listen up people and listen good.
A few days ago I was giddly anticipating buying one of your delicious Fudge
bars with my left over change from lunch, I was literally bouncing up and
down as I searched for the precious treat in the chocolate stand in my
local shop.
But then it happened, I saw the price clearly labelled on your Fudge bar
and it made me sob (much like a baby would) to find that you have upped the
price from 10p to 15p. Now, after recovering from the shock I am outraged
at this and what angers me furthermore is the fact that your chomp bar
which is approximately the same size and weight is still 10 pence. Now
where is the logic in that? I understand that production of fudge may cost
more than the caramel of a chomp, but they used to be 10p and it isn't like
they've gotten bigger (if anything, they're smaller) so why the sudden
change in price?
Why must you taunt me? All I wanted was a fudge to lovingly feast on after
my lunch, but no, I was stuck with a fat, chewy, disgusting chomp all
because of you.
I am completely appalled by this and will most certainly cease to purchase
your products in future depending on the reply from this enquiry (if any)
With love
Marvin XXX

Thank you for your e.mail in which you expr