What I did on my holidays, by skoo. Aged 24 years and 10 months

[skoo]

This is the thread in which I will write up my trip to the US of A.

It will be written as and when I can be arsed have time.

Here is the first update:

The flight was short and sweet. 52 movies were available, I saw two of them. Alfie (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0375173/) was first up. Utter pants compared to the original. Time was not to be wasted in mourning, however, as I leapt straight into Garden State. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0333766/) Somehow I had managed to fool myself this was going to be a stoner comedy. Boy was I wrong. After watching these two mind-numbingly cack-fisted hack jobs, I tried to keep my brain alive by watching a documentary about how vitamin supplements can actually be bad for you. The damn annoying thing was, I ran out of time and missed the end half, so I don't actually know why. Oh well.

My plane landed at Logan airport. Not that I own a plane you understand, but the plane in which I was held prisoner for many gruelling hours finally landed on a slightly snowy/slushy runway. At one point I was sure that we'd actually end up spinning off into another plane. If only.

I walked power-walked ran past everyone that had left the plane before me. That is my number 1 tip for people who fly. Do not be affraid to run past these fools. If you waste time before customs, you will end up stuck behind hundreds of them and wishing you were back on the plane listening to outdated radio stations and eating snack foods that contain no flavours what-so-ever.

I had been forewarned of cold weather, but I am English. We do not fear the American "cold". I was wearing a T-shirt that said "I need more cowbell!" and I think this is why I was rushed through customs. They may have rushed me through, but they still took my fingerprints, the bastards. What do they have against me? I started to get nervous. Was I the only one they did this to? What would happen next?

I did not have to wait long to find out. As I told customs I was not carrying any tobacco, it suddenly dawned on me that I had indeed bought 10 pouches of rolling tobacco in duty-free shopping. The sweat must have been obvious, and I started to fumble on those easy questions like "How long will you be staying in the US, sir?".

Shit. "Errr, a week... I think" I said meekly. I knew as soon as I said it, that things could turn bad at any moment. I ws cracking up under the pressure. I needed to act cool. I should say something.

"Seven days." I blurted out. Oh, you simpering fool, skoo. You simpering fool! I realised later, that this was not only a line from The Ring (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298130/), but I was actually intending to stay for eight days. This was my second, albeit unintentional, lie.

Just to recap: We now have a tired and dishevelled Englishman in a freezing cold US airport, wearing a "comedy" t-shirt, and dripping with sweat. I must have looked so guilty that it double bluffed him. Ha! Before I could tell anymore lies, my visa was stamped. I was free to buy guns and leave tips for anything that moves.

Or so I thought.

I made my way to baggage reclaim. Here I wasted perhaps 20 minutes of my life watching a variety of bags moving around the conveyor belt like some sort of badly prepared sushi. "Holy shit, that's my bag!" I thought.

With hindsight I think I was perhaps a little too happy to see my bag.

I somehow got past the next customs agent in record time, he literally only required a waft of my passport, and I was now finally free from the shackles of airport oppression.


[to be continued...]

[terrorbite]

Oh the suspense...

[Squid]

You are so darn lucky...

The ****ing German customs took 3200 sigs off me...

[Arkwright]

Kinda says something about "Tightened airport security" after nine, eleven.

Probably figured you weren't risk because you weren't wearing a turban or some such...

"Shifty eyes? fine, Heavy sweating? fine, bizarre shirt? likewise fine."

One whift of a middle-eastern shroud and they would have slammed down so hard on your arse...

[Soapie]

You are so darn lucky...

The ****ing German customs took 3200 sigs off me...They took every zig off me



I'm sorry

[Garry2]

I think I'm going to like this series....

No love for Garden State!? Ah well, I suppose I am a tad biased due to the fact that I want Zach Braff's babies.

Apparently they've just started taking random fingerprints just because they can. It had nothing to do with the fact that you came across as a tremblimg meth addict.

Woo for continuation.

[Kharysma]

ahem

Just like to insert that I gave him the shirt :D

[RobW]

I was wearing a T-shirt that said "I need more cowbell"

Skoo,

I would like you to have my babies.

ahem

Just like to insert that I gave him the shirt

Best. Couple. Ever.

[skoo]

When I said I was free, I may have lied.

I strutted out of the doors, expecting to see Sassy (my girlfriend getaway driver) waving at me from the other side of the highly secure hand-rail. My eyes quickly scanned back and forth, but there were no signs of her. This was a potential spanner in my works. "Act cool skoo, everyone is only staring at you because you are first out. Don't trip over or anything. That's it, good lad, goooood lad, keep walking now." I walked past as if I knew what I was doing. They didn't suspect a thing! Those silly Americans, so naive.

I walked right past everyone and stopped near the door before pulling a 180 and once more scanning for Sassy. I am quite adept at spotting her from behind, but I refuse to explain my methods in detail.

"Nope. She aint there." I thought, in an American accent. Shucks, I done did it now.

I whipped out my trusty tool and pushed it in just the right place to wake it up.

Now that I had turned on my phone (what were you thinking?) I was able to call Sassy and find out what twist of fate had caused this really hard to document waste of time.

Do you know what the reason was? Of course not. Otherwise you'd be writing this, and I'd be freaked out. The reason was something to do with traffic. Anticlimactic answer, huh?

I can assure you this is not the end of my tale.

[to be continued... again...]

[terrorbite]

I can see this is gonna be a long story :)

[Kharysma]

I walked right past everyone and stopped near the door before pulling a 180 and once more scanning for Sassy. I am quite adept at spotting her from behind, but I refuse to explain my methods in detail.

Oh really now?! :p

[Jack Bauer]

Long perhaps...but very amusing. I gotta say this is sucj amusing and intelligent writing. I long to hear more. Well done skoo this is great :D

[moovok]

It's like a 24 cliffhanger, with more suspense and less Jack Bauer action with guns and stuff...

[Arkwright]

Wow, I think I just saw a ban move in bullet time.

I mean, one second Jack Bauer is posting and next *POW* he's in March nemesis, weird

[moovok]

I didn't mean literally remove Jack Bauer from the forum :D hehe. I saw that as well, he was banned and now he's not, or is he??? This is definately like 24...

[skoo]

Wow, I think I just saw a ban move in bullet time.

I mean, one second Jack Bauer is posting and next *POW* he's in March nemesis, weird

Comedy ban :D

[scram]

I fucking hate customs. Last time I was there I had a similar experience, nervous sweats and a huge lack of sleep left me sweating and with bloodshot, spaced-out eyes.

Fools still let me through though.

[foxy]

However I was like 2 hours early to pick up Scram...

I can't wait to come back to England and inform the immigration people that NO I don't have a return airfare (I can only book tickets 10 months in advance)and that I will be staying for a year with my boyfriend who I met over the internet....

This will be... FUN...

[vampiress]

ooooh foxy :)

and keep on wiht the story chap, i want to hear all about the trip already. i hear there is is gorey ending...

[moovok]

I heard Skoo shot two endings, one of them is fake, the other will be aired.... wondered which one... (sorry, couldn't resist, I've just watched 24 - so help me!)

[Kharysma]

I'm usually hours early too, foxy :) I'm usually waiting and waiting and waiting and wondering if he'll ever walk out and fretting and checking that I still look semi ok for when he finally arrives hehe But this time I was stuck in traffic for three hours. Was NOT fun.

I was contemplating making my own thread about our visit. You know... one from his point of view and one from mine but I think he thought it was silly (which probly means it is silly) so I decided against it. ;)

(let me know how the whole telling immigration no return flight works out for you, foxy. So that we know how to do it!!!)

[Cynic]

Ha, this is the real reason we post on forums; to listening in on people's private lives.

Good writing Skoo.

[skoo]

The journey back to Sassy's house was long and mostly uneventful. This was not the first time I had made the journey, so using my immense wisdom, I tilted my chair back so I could rest my occular sensory devices. Apparently 50 cent was going to take me to the candy shop, how kind of him.

"Cigarettes." I stated. "I'll need cigarettes."

It was at this moment that I was told that in order to buy cigarettes, I would require I.D.

Hold up. Let me get this straight... I need photographic I.D. just to buy cigarettes? What a crazy country. They force you to drive when you are about 12, but you have to be 40 just to buy booze and apparently you can only smoke if you are a pensioner.

No wonder customs tried to get my rolling tobacco at the airport, the poor bastards were just after a smoke.

I drifted back into my timeworn state only to be shaken loose by Sassy.

"Do you have any cash?" She asked, some urgency in her voice.

"Cash?" I thought, moments before I said "Cash?" and opened my eyes.

We were sat in some sort of queue. Many cars were all around us, and I'm pretty sure I heard a hellicopter. Actually, I said cars, but I meant huge-ass vans, trucks and people carriers. The average American doesn't even know what a car looks like. I started to doubt our disguise, as the vehicle Sassy had chosen was indeed a car. Bum fuzz.

My senses were streaming now, trying to decode the situation. Why was there suddednly 20 lanes of traffic, with each lane forming a queue? It seemed like there were many Taxis all in the farthest left lane, although I don't think this helped any in my deduction. Was this some sort of roadblock?

"Customs must really want my tobacco." I muttered to myself.

I glanced ahead to see an arm protruding from one of the vehicles in our lane.
"Is he trying to escape?" I thought. Soon I was to learn what this crazy situation was all about. Our lane slowly moved forward and my eyes were able to focus on the series of mystic hieroglyphs positioned above us.

"Toll Booth?" I said. "What the hell is a Toll Booth?"

Sassy got me up to speed rather quickly as I nervously handed her three fresh dollar bill notes, while trying to avoid eye contact with the little savage people that lived in the booths. Spies, no doubt.

Apparently they have toll booths because they dont pay tax, or something like that. With this newfound knowledge, you'd be forgiven for thinking they must have excellent road surfaces and transport systems in place. Not in the slightest. I believe the Americans keep their roads in a state of decay to further prolong the transport "system" and provide mechanics and tyre-fitters with jobs. Those rat bastards have them all fooled!

It was at this point I deployed Sassy to buy my cigarettes. I was comfortable in my seat, and although my American accent is more believable, we agreed that she was going to be the point-man for this mission. Not that she is a man, but "point-person" sounds fucking awful.


[to be etc...]

[Kharysma]

(you forgot the bit where I asked you for money for the parking too :p )

[PJ]

Damn you toll booths.

This is getting interesting.

Oh yeah and.

Woo for besterest.

[vampiress]

my state has the electronic ezpay toll system. i totally recommend it, works great and you don't have to roll down your window on hot/cold days and get all sweaty/cold tossing the tolls into the basket.



i did you get my txt's that day?

[Chavvy]

(you forgot the bit where I asked you for money for the parking too :p )Skoo, Sassy is only after you for your money, fame and stamps...

Great thread so far. Dessulp dna evif detar.

[Kharysma]

we got one of them, I think. Well... I did. When I was in the tunnel still trying to get to him. He was minutes away and I was in that bloody tunnel for an hour :/ Thanks for the update though!!! :) (it's why I needed it)

[hamsternator]

Damn you toll booths and tunnels, you win this time.

[piemastermike]

fantastic journalism, fantastic thread. Rated 5.. you lucky lucky people!

[skoo]

The cigarettes arrived, Marlboro lights. None of that perforated filter shit, this was the real deal. I would require an incendiary device of some sort. Usually I would reach for my Zippo lighter, but with new laws coming into place, I opted not to run the risk of having it taken away by those damnable customs agents.

Sassy informed me that she had a weapon suitable for the job, at her house. These cancer sticks would have to wait.

As our journey continued onward I noticed a roadsign that said:

SLOW
CHILDREN.

I made note of this information. It would prove to be useful in a later situation.

We arrived at Sassy's house and bundled out of the car. The next moments are a blur as I took my bags inside as quickly as possible, only to be confronted by one of Sassy's brothers.

We immediately took our stances, before throwing up some gang signs. Of course, neither of us are in a gang - this was purely a way for us to greet eachother without actually touching. Eww.

"Fo sheazle, my weasel" I screeched.

With the ceremony, and the first step in my journey complete, I was able to relax more, and the rest of the night blurred into "sleep".

[...more to follow...]

[argh]

Does Sassy live near a waste dump? Why are all the children slow? Mayeb it's just the school system making it seem that way.

[Twatybollocks]

"Fo sheazle, my weasel"

I'm impressed. Not only are you l33t, but obviously you are wise in the ways of the street as well.

Good story so far. I can't wait to hear about you gang bunging your first homely.

[bionic sheep]

You hip gangsta mofo, skoo.

[skoo]

My concept of time might seem distorted to anyone who was actually present for these events, but only one of you was there, and I am sure Sassy will forgive my slight inaccuracies, in the name of science, of course.

The next day Sassy and I decided to made plans. Now, I'm not usually one for making plans, Weebl will attest to this. He and I once flew to America without knowing where we would sleep, so this whole plan-making thing was probably a step in the right direction.

Sassy suggested that we go to a casino. Sweet mother of rice, did she not realise what she was saying? Me, in a real life casino? With real life money? HELL YES.

Sassy insisted on booking a room, I would have rather driven there and slept on one of the various slot machines. In the end a room was booked. A lovely king-sized room, with a TV that apparently can access the internet, as well as doubling as an n64 games console. This sounded promising from the start.

Our trip to the Casino was shockingly quick. My supremely accurate navigation guided us there like a heat-seeking golden arrow from a marksman's bow, just before it plunges into the heart of his foe. That rhyme was not intentional, but I believe it worked well. It stays.

We arrived to see the giant shiny building that would act as our home for a while, and I pleaded with Sassy to let us park our own car, but she would not listen and drove us right into the valet section. Good god, these men were like an organised team of breakdancing chimps. Record-breaking chimps. Before I knew what was happening we were inside the casino and our car was gone. I vaguely recall looking over my shoulder to see the very shiny corvette that was next to us. I may have said something like "I'll order mine in yellow".

[tbc]

[Dashers]

Amazing stuff, do i detect a hint of fear and loathing in these monolouges. Tell me you won lots of money, or at least made off with the corvette.

[Shpox]

:

SLOW
CHILDREN.

I made note of this information. It would prove to be useful in a later situation.


That made me laugh and I dont laugh too much. *Awaits next journal post*

[chillaaa]

simply put; I'm a fan.

Very well articulated

[Garry2]

PLEASE say you went to the poker table. PLEASE!

[Kharysma]

Originally posted by skoo:

My concept of time might seem distorted to anyone who was actually present for these events, but only one of you was there, and I am sure Sassy will forgive my slight inaccuracies, in the name of science, of course.

lol slight inaccuracies? slight distortions?! *giggles* skoo arrived on Friday and we left for the casino on Monday. hehehehehe :D

I love how I'm the get-away driver and the cancer stick buyer, (which I actually call them. I refused to buy him cancer sticks, but the man is such a devil and he tempts and bribes me :rolleyes: ), I'm also the wonderful heroine who suggests a casino but like.. is that it?! Are we not meant to take note of the fact that he checks out my ass or loses all sense of concentration and reasoning whenever he passes me by? Or how abut the fact that he basically jumped me in the elevator at the airport (the casino hotel too, I believe) - which is all on camera, most likely. I am more than just a great get-away driver! At least, that's what I was told at the time.......

The parts about my brother and him are 100% fact. It's quite humorous how you men are. I guess I didn't actually see it that night, babe... but when you and Mike kept doing the oddest hand shake things all week I did actually wonder when or why or how you came up with them. I guess now I know. The valet parking is also truth... he did say to just park it myself. But wth. Men want to open the door for me and park my car and help me with my luggage? Instead of us having to do it? And all I gotta do (ok well technically skoo did it) is tip them a few bucks? I am all over that!!!!

skoo better tell you all about the casino and post pictures and links, etc. Because it was absolutely amazing. If he doesn't, I shall be forced to start my own thread and do it myself. *pokes skoo*

Originally posted by skoo:

With the ceremony, and the first step in my journey complete, I was able to relax more, and the rest of the night blurred into "sleep".

Is that what you crazy kids are calling it these days?! If that was sleep, then knock me unconscious and never wake me up! :love:

ok, enough interjecting (for now, anyways......)

[vampiress]

Is that what you crazy kids are calling it these days?! If that was sleep, then knock me unconscious and never wake me up! :love:

ok, enough interjecting (for now, anyways......)
i remember when this was a family channel
- Magpie©

[Sand-Man]

How dare you insult our amazing extremely shitty roads :p. You see if you 2 had went to NC again you wouldn't have had to deal with toll roads. So you brought that horror of the troll people upon yourself. Make sure to stop by one of the local gun shows (just look for the jacked up SUV's and Trucks with Confederate Flags) and try to smuggle it through customs.... good luck with that.... :)

ps: Fear the Potholes!

[Kharysma]

As I recollect, when we went to NC last year we had a $12 toll down near your way or something outrageous like that!!!!! so hmmmmf to that! hehe

The roads in Boston ARE yucky. Big Dig going on and all. But he didn't mention that the roads on Cape Cod are just perfect. :) (and... no tolls!)

[Twatybollocks]

I'm liking Sassy's version more and more. Skoo's is like fear and loathing while Sassy's is like all the juicy bits out of a Jackie Collins novel!

[Arkwright]

Is this the end?

We haven't even heard whether Skoo lost his shirt or broke the bank yet.

[skoo]

We checked in and proceded to visit our room. I attacked Sassy in the elevator with my lips and maybe hands. Yes, hands. This is the usual course of events when I am in an elevator with her. I gave a little wave to the security camera as we arrived on our floor.

After a short walk away from the elevator, Sassy fumbled with the electronic door key for an age before I said "Give it to me" (the key, you pervs) and unlocked the door. We moved inside the room and both made noises of appreciation.

We were something like 32 stories up and the view was incredible. Our room overlooked a river, and the remnants of a snow storm were clearly visible.

Sassy grabbed the guide booklet and started to read up on the services while I turned the TV on and contemplated going online to say hello.

Our room had a minibar that was controlled by weight. If you remove an item it KNOWS what you have taken and instantly charges you. I did have the idea of putting an ashtray inside for weight, and then removing an item - but I didn't want to try. Those minibars are expensive. And tricksy.

I sat down at the desk and declared it to be my new office.

We agreed to visit the shops before we did any gambling, so that was to be our first stop.

The shops were very expensive but equally cool. One shop litterally had a giant aquarium for a frontage. This was especially well timed for us because we got to see the fish being fed. By a Scuba diver. In a shop front. Surreal to the max.

A lot of the shops sold memorabilia, signed cells from animation and film. Signed instruments, and sports equipment. There was a triple pack of signed Michael Jordan shirts @ $4,000 each ($12,000 for the set, yay maths).

"Wait a second, there is a Krispy Kreme shop! Oh boy Oh boy Oh boy." I said.

Finally, something I could afford. I made a mental note to visit there when I was hungrier. Mmmm donuts.

I could hear the slot machines getting louder and I knew we were approaching the gaming floor. Time to put my poker-face on.

[to be continued]

[Kharysma]

The room was amazing! The girl at the desk kept saying she had a great room for us if we wanted it and we were tucked away with only a suite beyond us. We were up as high as we could be - with only the penthouse above us! :)

The shops were an attraction in themselves, as skoo has explained. I don't want to go into too much detail because I dunno if he will comment on things more. hehe But the place was not just a casino. It was breathtaking in places. And the shops were amazing. I especially loved the one with the aquarium. There were more throughout the stores, not just the one in the front. And one of them even held sharks!!! They were all incredibly expensive. I believe we found at least 8 things in each shop that we said we truly MUST have and the plan was to buy it all before we left to go home. (I hope he talks about our favorite shop, otherwise I will :P)

And skoo really did declare the desk his office. :D

I am full of suspense like the rest of you as I never know what he is going to talk about!!!!!

[Teh MightyBoosh]

Few things...

1) Envious
2) 5 Stars
3) Wow
4) +'d
5) Can't wait for the next part....

And claiming the desk as his office... Legend.

[Soapie]

was there really an N64 in the room? I lurve N64s.

[mushroom man]

A MINI BAR! What drinls were there and what happened next

[oppernaR]

Skoo! You lazy slag!
Tell us more! Now!
Did you win loads of money and got secretly married in a chapel Vegas Elvis styleee?
Did US Customs catch you in the end?
Were any trees harmed during the making of this journal?

Oh the suspense :(

[Arkwright]

I want to know whether Sassy had to talk Skoo out of purchasing some large aquatic creature to pet and/or devour.

Truly sounds like an interesting trip

[Littleshore]

did any cows fall down from the sky?

did you find any dried up heads in the desert?

[crab]

Were you stuck in a lift and forced to eat Sassy?

TELL US THE STORY, WE'RE DYING WITH SUSPENSE!

[skoo]

I have been busy with www.skoo.net recently so I have not had time to update, but I have not forgotten!

[Patrick Moore]

Such a plug.

[skoo]

That's not a plug.

This is a plug:
www.skoo.net

[CoX]

Actually, THIS is a plug:

http://www.adrs.ltd.uk/pat/rplug.jpg

Great story Skoo and Sassy, looking forward to the next part immensely.

[skoo]

You appear to be conFUSED


ahahahahaaaahahaha

[scram]

WIRE you starting again with these bad puns?

[Patrick Moore]

http://img67.exs.cx/img67/817/punalert1ld.jpg (http://www.imageshack.us)

[skoo]

Stop now.

Derailing my thread will result in major bannage.

Back on topic! :)

[crab]

But you still haven't told us the rest of the story!

TELL US THE STORY! *ra ra ra!*
TELL US THE STORY! *ra ra ra!*
TELL US THE STORY! *ra ra -* *dies*

[ye olde noob]

Well, I'm glad your holiday was better than mine, in Merry Auld Devon (no offence). Every day, we either went for a walk or went to a National Trust house. :o
Great story, as well.

[evil ida]

You've been on holiday?

[Kharysma]

erm... not to derail the thread or anything... but Skorne... are you trying to imply that Americans are stupid?

Are we forgetting for just one moment that skoo came to America to see his girlfriend? That girlfriend who happens to be me? That girlfriend who is AMERICAN? :P

and skoo... hurry and post an update!!!!!!! I wanna hear more! (even though I was there ;) )

[Skorne]

I'm sorry I'm just implying that George Bush is, and those security guys. i know i didnt write that very well. Dammit i can't find a regretful emoticon. + a lot of my family is american. and sorry for going off topic like that.

[Kharysma]

s'ok :) Just made me boggle a bit. Ok! Onward with the updates of our vacation!

I shall give you ONE hint and one hint only... we didn't leave the casino until quite late the next night. :) But what this means, I cannot tell. (now hurry up and tell it, skoo)

[renatzu]

Im just changing this cos i didnt mean to be rude. i just wanted to show the clip.

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=1525&NEXTID=0&PREVID=1529&DISPLAYORDER=20040810120259&CAT=movies&page=
Yes, he has the intelligence of an ape hooked on crack, we get it.

Now hurry up Skoo, we need updates.

[Sand-Man]

Just for future reference Krispy Kreme Doughnuts....not donuts.... tis blasphemy! Anywho... Sassy that toll road in NC must have been on the coast or something, because there aren't any in the Piedmont (Charlotte) area. Your $12 toll is what you got for going out to the outerbanks instead of coming here :p. But yes, please go on Skoo...before they start killing each other.

[Garg]

http://www.garganroo.co.uk/lol.jpg

[skoo]

The gaming floor grew near and I could see a mixture of elderly people and flashing lights. At first I thought it was some sort of disco revival, but then I remembered that plastic cups full of coins are not often seen at your local disco.

We did a lap of the gaming floor first. Sassy was looking for a very specific type of slot machine, as well as monitoring the craps tables. I had my keen eye out for the card tables, I fancied me some Texas hold'em in particular.

Eventually we decided to just pick a random slot machine and see how we'd go. $20 was deposited and to cut a rather boring story short, we didn't do that great.

We moved back over towards the craps tables and Sassy spotted a slot machine similar to the one she was hunting, so she sat down to play. It was a very strange machine and I think she came out even, although I was keeping one eye on the craps table behind us, as the stick-man dealer-dude (that is not a technical term) was being quite vocal.

We eventually moved a bit closer and just stood there watching, to get a feel for the table, when it happened. He spotted us.

Next thing I know, we are being taught how to play craps. This was actually quite handy as both Sassy and I needed a refresher course. Soon we were up to speed and we cashed in.

Casino chips have a great feel to them. I believe they are made from clay, with a little brass disk inside to give them their weight. Each denomination has coloured markings on the side, as well as being a different base colour. Casino chips weigh 11.5 grams each and they make the most wonderous noise when you "shuffle" them. I decided at this moment to start a chip collection. I took a $1 chip home with me.

Anyways, back to the main event, the table was very friendly and I got to witness some crazy superstitions, which I tried to mimic in later games. Best to fit in with the locals, you see. This typically involves rolling the die against the table wall until your lucky number(s) come(s) up. Doubles are quite popular, and some people will then stack the die ontop of each other, before lifting them up and throwing them down the table.

We played for a while, and had a good time. I was about even for the session, and Sassy was a little under. We didn't want to blow everything right away so we moved on.

Something I did not mention earlier was that this building had two casinos inside. We only toured one of the two, and I had assumed, from not actually seeing any, that the card tables were simply located at the other casino. I was partly right, as we swiftly located the blackjack tables.

"Must be getting close" I thought.

WRONG. BIG FAT WRONG. IN YOUR FACE WRONG. This must be the only casino in the world where you can not play poker. I was gutted. Words can not express. You see, when going to a casino you must be willing to lose all that you gamble. Which I would not have minded, had it been at the card table. But I was not to be given that chance.

Don't get me wrong, I was still enjoying myself, but I really wanted to play poker. At least I was in good great company!

Sassy dragged me off to get some food, and on the way she challenged me to guess the time, because there are no clocks and no windows in a casino. I guessed quite accurately and she seemed miffed that I was able to keep track so adeptly.

I said "I'm from England, we invented time!"

[Garry2]

No poker!? Bastards. It's because they tend not to make much money from games unless there is a good few no limit tables. Well done for guessing the time, casinos do everything they can to stop you from thinking about time. They even pump extra oxygen through the vents so you'll feel like you can gamble longer. The suspense is killing me, I can't wait for the next entry. Well done Mr skoo.

[crab]

NO POKER?
What kind of casino is this? Probably illegal, call the feds.

[Arkwright]

Ah Blackjack, even hearing the name sends me all tingly.

I find it outrageous that you were left without poker and had to stick with craps and slots (Slots are a mugs game though, the mechanisms can easily be manipulated by the house to only pay out at regular intervals)

[Kharysma]

At least I was in good great company!

awwwwwwww :love:


The dealer that skoo spoke of, at the craps table, was SO great. He was very friendly and helpful. I knew how to play but it had been a while and I couldn't remember how you place odds on your bets etc. He was very helpful reminding me. I rec. the Mohegan Sun to anyone. We had the BEST time and they were all very friendly. Not just the dealers, but... everyone!

And yes.. slots and craps. No poker. But we had a hell of good time, as I'm sure he will continue to tell yas!

I took a $1 chip home too! And yes.... skoo did really point out England invented time and he did really guess the time and I WAS very gutted that he did so. I thought I'd trick him. :(

hehehehe

(tell them about the waterfall and such, skoo!)

[crab]

Waterfall? Is thissome kind of ninja code? :ninja:
Yes, do carry on, we are positively ENRAPTURED.

[ye olde noob]

I don't get it.
When was this holiday, skoo (or mrs. skoo)?
Where are you now, still on holiday?
And where, oh god where, are the refreshments?!

I am currently on school holidays for easter, and am bored.

[Arkwright]

*Boink*

This thread runs like clock-work, it needs regular winding and attention.

For what is a story without a conclusion!

[skoo]

We made our way towards the 24 hour restaurant. I ordered a $5 milkshake and a philly cheese steak. Sassy ordered a weird salad thing that arrived in a giant mug-shaped receptical and some sort of scampi basket thing. Yes, that is a vague description, mostly because of the god damn five dollar milkshake. Wow. I think it was made from some sort of magic cow's milk. The philly cheesesteak on the other hand, must have been made from a regular cow.

Now that I come to think about it, I ate a lot of cow based products. Steak, Cheese, Milkshake. It wouldn't suprise me if cow poop was used on the potato field, either. Not that the fries tasted like shit or anything. They were rather nice fries, I'll have you know.

I could tell that night was drawing near so we decided to head back to the camp.

I was not sure what happened that night, but I woke up naked the next morning and the bedsheets were spread, along with our clothes, accurately all over the room. Sassy also looked rather happy with herself.

Suddenly it all came back to me and I remember "attacking" Sassy at the camp, with a towel for a loincloth and a rolled up magazine for a weapon. One of our most fun battles to date. I think I won.

Later that morning we headed out to the gaming floor again, only this time it was different. Sassy, for some reason, decided to put $20 into a $1 slot machine, and on her first roll she won $20. I forced her to cash out and we found machines that didn't cost so much. Better safe than sorry, you know.

We relocated ourselves to some machines called "Cleopatra", they were easy to play and had a huge advantage of costing 1 cent per roll. We ordered some sort of mudslide drinks and played Cleo' for a long time. I actually made some money back.

Feeling confident we went off in search of the holy grail. The 25c Monopoly machine. Luck was with us on this day and we found four of the blighters, relatively easily.

I knew something big was going to happen, I was wearing my lucky cowbell t-shirt, so Sassy rubbed it for luck before putting $20 into the machine...

[to be continued]

[Kharysma]

I won $40 on that Cleopatra $1 slot machines, honey!!! not $20. :D And I usually play it all. I suck at cashing out. skoo is great at knowing when to move on with the cash.

And... I don't really care who won our "battle" it was great fun! ;)

[vampiress]

norty. v. v. norty.

i think i shall try this battle on the boy...

[crab]

How much did you win on those expensive 25 cent machines?

-$-100?
-$-20?
-$3?
$0?
$1?
$2?
$2.59632?
$5?
$10?
$20?
$24654362.65?

Do tell.

[Schism]

What was the somthing big about to happen? ooh do tell.

as for Sassy, ow ow!

[Joodit]

I totally want to go to all those american casinos to "addict-spy" on all the bleary eyed grey skinned twitching people bent over the machines and clutching little cups of change. Hehe, makes you feel a little less depressing yourself, doesn't it?

[philo23]

*bump*
weres the end come on i waited for ever!

[DB33]

i like ur story but not all americans are naive.

[Cloud Trifle]

I would love to go to america some day.. I will have to dream for now though.. Great thread. Can't wait for the next installment.

[crab]

Hey!

Don't leave us hanging!

You left this thread months ago!

Give us more story!

You don't want to make me chant.