Lamson
30-07-2005, 02:51 PM
A phenomal book, that will never be published due to legal reasons and a lack of people caring, written by Lamson and Matt (who isn't apart of the forum)
Star Brek Twenteen
The Eleventh Nine
ACTION!
"Cleft the tool whistle to 87, open the gale indicator, dis-rocketate the rockets and fire the sausage tube gun at a rate of 19 gutters a keel!” Lamson Cried with all his might."
“You’ll never get away with this. My crew will realize I’m gone!” prevailed Mirk.
“Oh Mirk, I think you overate your popularity. It’ll be months before they notice you’re gone”
Captains Log
It’s been Seven months and my crew hasn’t noticed I’ve gone.
ADVENTURE!
“What happens if you take the ‘r’ out of Cranberries?” he spickled.
“Canberries – But they couldn’t destroy a planet, they don’t have the multiplying potential!”
“Ah yes, but what happens if I take the ‘S’ off the end and put it at the beginning?”
“Scanberry, with thrice the multiplying potential of Canberries!”
“Of course knowing this I can’t let you leave. Mumbles the clown, escort him to the Death chambers!”
LOVE!
"Smandy walked towards the lemonade today. I couldn’t help but notice the subtle, faded wrinkles in her hair. I haven’t felt this way since strawberry jam was invented."
“Oh Smandy, I knew your bosoms would come in handy………”
“Thank you sir, I………picked them myself”
CAPTAINS LOG!
"I tried to fetch my screwdriver from the glove compartment, but it has been glued shut with butter."
"My Retinas keep dropping out of my nose. I………must remember to tie them correctly next time."
"We……………tried to…catch the criminal, but he got away with my cranberries."
WAR!
“Quieten yourself! Your transthermal vortilator is of no use to you here! These walls are too densely made of chum”
“Smandy, cover your arms in sugar puffs – we’ll need it for the winter.” Lambed Lamson
“Yes Rap-tain”
“But I’m not Rap-tain Mirk. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Rap-tain Mirk in 7 months. And his ovaries are getting cold and moistular!” Lamson tosses a quick glance to an un-eaten bowl of 7-month-old ovaries.
“Smandy, I have a horrible feeling we left him aboard Lord Plerbatroids vessel………..”
“What now sir, my life-support is twice the parallel speed!”
“And so are your bosoms, but now’s not the time. We’ll take a ship and find Rap-tain Mirk. We’ll bring him back with or without his Cranberries.”
A TROUBLED PAST!
"Its not that I don’t love my family, it’s just I knew there wouldn’t be room for them where we were going: I just had to push them in the canyon."
“Now whats all this cranberry malarkey? We don’t want any and never will do.”
“We are not dealers- we are searching for some that have been stolen from us.” Cowered Mirk.
“Well what were you doing in possession in class B berries in the first place?”
“They……are of great personal value.”
“Oh I see, belonged to one of your relatives?”
“No” Mirk slithered up to the man and whispered in his ear, “They are relatives.”
Who wants to read crap like Harry Potter when you can read:
Star Brek Twenteen: The Eleventh Nine
It’s coming for you this summer at a very reasonable price.
Star Brek Twenteen
The Eleventh Nine
ACTION!
"Cleft the tool whistle to 87, open the gale indicator, dis-rocketate the rockets and fire the sausage tube gun at a rate of 19 gutters a keel!” Lamson Cried with all his might."
“You’ll never get away with this. My crew will realize I’m gone!” prevailed Mirk.
“Oh Mirk, I think you overate your popularity. It’ll be months before they notice you’re gone”
Captains Log
It’s been Seven months and my crew hasn’t noticed I’ve gone.
ADVENTURE!
“What happens if you take the ‘r’ out of Cranberries?” he spickled.
“Canberries – But they couldn’t destroy a planet, they don’t have the multiplying potential!”
“Ah yes, but what happens if I take the ‘S’ off the end and put it at the beginning?”
“Scanberry, with thrice the multiplying potential of Canberries!”
“Of course knowing this I can’t let you leave. Mumbles the clown, escort him to the Death chambers!”
LOVE!
"Smandy walked towards the lemonade today. I couldn’t help but notice the subtle, faded wrinkles in her hair. I haven’t felt this way since strawberry jam was invented."
“Oh Smandy, I knew your bosoms would come in handy………”
“Thank you sir, I………picked them myself”
CAPTAINS LOG!
"I tried to fetch my screwdriver from the glove compartment, but it has been glued shut with butter."
"My Retinas keep dropping out of my nose. I………must remember to tie them correctly next time."
"We……………tried to…catch the criminal, but he got away with my cranberries."
WAR!
“Quieten yourself! Your transthermal vortilator is of no use to you here! These walls are too densely made of chum”
“Smandy, cover your arms in sugar puffs – we’ll need it for the winter.” Lambed Lamson
“Yes Rap-tain”
“But I’m not Rap-tain Mirk. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Rap-tain Mirk in 7 months. And his ovaries are getting cold and moistular!” Lamson tosses a quick glance to an un-eaten bowl of 7-month-old ovaries.
“Smandy, I have a horrible feeling we left him aboard Lord Plerbatroids vessel………..”
“What now sir, my life-support is twice the parallel speed!”
“And so are your bosoms, but now’s not the time. We’ll take a ship and find Rap-tain Mirk. We’ll bring him back with or without his Cranberries.”
A TROUBLED PAST!
"Its not that I don’t love my family, it’s just I knew there wouldn’t be room for them where we were going: I just had to push them in the canyon."
“Now whats all this cranberry malarkey? We don’t want any and never will do.”
“We are not dealers- we are searching for some that have been stolen from us.” Cowered Mirk.
“Well what were you doing in possession in class B berries in the first place?”
“They……are of great personal value.”
“Oh I see, belonged to one of your relatives?”
“No” Mirk slithered up to the man and whispered in his ear, “They are relatives.”
Who wants to read crap like Harry Potter when you can read:
Star Brek Twenteen: The Eleventh Nine
It’s coming for you this summer at a very reasonable price.