View Full Version : Dogs can't look up
Now we all know that's a load of bollocks. What other bollocks myths, rumours about random things have you heard?
Today a guy told me that midges/nats can't fly, they are blown around by the wind. Heh.
What about you guys? What nonsense have your mates/parents/tramps outside your house been saying?
El Kabong
03-09-2005, 05:51 PM
Skunks only spray when provoked :( Bad lesson to learn.
Scott Star
03-09-2005, 05:54 PM
If you pull a face and the wind changes, your face will be stuck like that forever!
It'd suck if you sneezed and the wind changed.
But what if you pulled a normal face and hope the wind changes, you'd be fine...
xkittyx
03-09-2005, 05:56 PM
They told me that Jamies name wasn't Jamie after I'd been calling him it for a year.. and I got really worried that I'd been calling him the wrong name!!
Oh and someone told Amy (this girl so didn't know what meat sheep was) that you got tanned with any kind of heat and she burnt her legs on an open fire... teehee!
I was always told Santa will give you coal if you're bad. I dont have enough fingers to count the number of times I was thrown out of school, but Santa always got me what I wanted. It is likely good ol' Saint Nick just likes me more, probably because of my witty humour and good looks. Eh? He's not WHAT?
guy in a box
03-09-2005, 06:17 PM
If you eat your carrots you can see in the dark.
If you tell lies your nose will get longer.
Dont play with your penis or it will fall off.
Those are the ones I can think of at the moment.
Paradigm^
03-09-2005, 06:19 PM
They told me that Jamies name wasn't Jamie after I'd been calling him it for a year.. and I got really worried that I'd been calling him the wrong name!!
Oh and someone told Amy (this girl so didn't know what meat sheep was) that you got tanned with any kind of heat and she burnt her legs on an open fire... teehee!Quoted for w...t...f...?
El Kabong
03-09-2005, 06:22 PM
My parents always told me video games would make me violent. Idiots. Just for that I chopped them up into little peices and fed them to my dog.
If you eat your carrots you can see in the dark.
Karotine or something does actually help you take in more light in dark places.
Dont play with your penis or it will fall off.
:|
xkittyx
03-09-2005, 06:28 PM
Quoted for w...t...f...?
:weebl:
Apparently the colourings in those blue strip sweet things with the soft shit in the middle are made from beetles. O.o
Disgruntledgoat
03-09-2005, 06:38 PM
Swallowing chewing gum gives you cancer.
Nuclear Spoon
03-09-2005, 06:39 PM
If you leave a tooth with a cavity in it under your pillow the Tooth Fairy will rape you in your sleep.
Wait... No that was from a film...
Inverse
03-09-2005, 06:41 PM
Swallowing chewing gum gives you cancer.
And that chewing gum stays in your stomach for a year without being digested.
It doesn't. You just get a lump in you poopoo.
renatzu
03-09-2005, 06:46 PM
And that chewing gum stays in your stomach for a year without being digested.
It doesn't. You just get a lump in you poopoo.
They always told us 7 years.
Speaking of 7 years, the luck thing, breaking a mirror. Heh, that's silly. Seems like it's true atm, but it's really a load of bollocks.
The black bits in bananas are spiders eggs
/shamelesslyplagurisedfromthemightyboosh.
Heh, I heard dogs can't look up from Shaun of the Dead. And the inspiration for this thread.
Disgruntledgoat
03-09-2005, 06:56 PM
The story of that is that on the set of Spaced, when they were having difficulty with a shot involving a dog looking at a 2nd floor window, Nick Frost (Ed in Shaun of the Dead) confidentally claimed that "Dogs can't look up."
True Story.
[/off topic]
wikkybikky
03-09-2005, 07:54 PM
bit gross but...if you eat your snots they would grow into maggots in your belly...didn't put me off :ssh:
stalefish
03-09-2005, 08:59 PM
If you'll touch that (T.V., radio, unbreakable object) you'll break it!
Tiode
03-09-2005, 09:03 PM
If you'll touch that (T.V., radio, unbreakable object) you'll break it!
That actually generally true for me...:(
This has been said by everyone I have ever met (almost)
"It's alright, it (dog) won't hurt you!"
Shut up. It's looking at me and it's foaming at the mouth.
Preasure
03-09-2005, 09:08 PM
Every single email that says 'OMG this is actually true it workd 4 me if u dont send this to 15 people in the next 10 minuites ur love life will be ruined 4 the rest of your life!!!'.
And also black cats and walking under ladders. Ladders I can understand though, a dropped hammer hurts.
Arkwright
03-09-2005, 09:10 PM
"Early to bed and early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy and wise"
Fark off.
Redux
03-09-2005, 09:11 PM
Dont play with your penis or it will fall off.
I have proven otherwise.
junior
03-09-2005, 09:12 PM
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Ahahaha
So does a gun
MichaelJackson
03-09-2005, 09:16 PM
This is kind of related to the thread name.
Dogs are the higher species because they always look down on us.
Did I subconsuly(my spelling is horable) copy this from somewhere?
I'll go now.
Apples look less suspicious though... hmmm!
Apple? Gun? Gun? Apple?
SHOOT THE APPLE!!!
And don't tell the dentist.
I would much rather have a gun a day than an apple, regardless of how hard it is to swallow!
Preasure
03-09-2005, 09:20 PM
This is kind of related to the thread name.
Dogs are the higher species because they always look down on us.
I thought that was cats? Dogs always look at us with a sort of admiring gaze.
MichaelJackson
03-09-2005, 09:23 PM
I thought that was cats? Dogs always look at us with a sort of admiring gaze.
But dogs supposedly CAN'T look up? Hence them always looking down on us.
Anyone else like any jokes explained?
stalefish
03-09-2005, 09:24 PM
I thought that was cats? Dogs always look at us with a sort of admiring gaze.
One of my cats looks at me with a lazy gaze that means nothing. The other seems to look like "AAAARGH! MOVING THING! *runs away from fly*" all the time.
I'm too tired to phrase that properly. Meh.
[/offtopic][/crap]
I think Micheal Jackson is a bit confused, largely publicised trials can do that to a person, I suppose, anyway, I should make this clear: DOGS CAN LOOK UP. I have a folder of several eyewitness accounts proving so, me being one of them. I also have a folder on the transuniversal properties of dryers, also known as the gateway to the 'Sock Dimension', but that's beside the point.
I recently remember I was frequently told sleeping on my back will give me nightmares when I was around 5, and I know several people agreeing they heard this as well. Has anyone else heard that?
*Ooh Sparklies*
03-09-2005, 09:46 PM
Apparently the colourings in those blue strip sweet things with the soft shit in the middle are made from beetles. O.o
What freakish sweet are these!!
moovok
03-09-2005, 10:17 PM
If you watch the TV too much, you'll get square eyes (can't believe nobody commented on that one - or I totally missed it cause I watch too much TV)
Wank too much and you go blind
Piss The Bed plants actually do what they say on the tin (well, they do, but that's subconsciously, I doubt it's anything to do with the aroma of the plants)
TX_101
03-09-2005, 10:30 PM
Dont play with your penis or it will fall off.
Or you will get hairs on the palms of your hands.
MONKEY050
03-09-2005, 11:29 PM
If you eat your carrots you can see in the dark.
To be honest, carrots contain carotene (damn scientists and their use of originality), which can improve your eyesight slightly due to the fact that carotene keeps your eyes healthy. No, you won't see in the dark, unless you're part of some kind of secret government genetics project, or own really expensive IF nightvision goggles.
Snoon
03-09-2005, 11:32 PM
the whole seeing in the dark thing was a world war II advertising campaign.
because they couldn't import foods, most people were growing their own vegetables and eating them, to make the idea more appealing, the goverment made posters, etc. saying that carrots helped you see in the dark
power cables go green when its going to rain
(actually i think they are always this colour, but you can only see it if there is a dark cloud above....interesting fact/myth/whatever)
anyway i believed it until about three years ago. (im 21)
El Kabong
04-09-2005, 01:02 AM
Cockroaches lay eggs in the glue on envelopes, so if you cut your tongue on one, you will wake up one morning to a cockroach exploding out of your mouth.
This one made me a little scared of licking envelopes, but I sort of like the taste of the glue, so I figure it's worth a roach in the mouth.
crazyMLC
04-09-2005, 01:32 AM
i once heard that rain, if you swallow it, you get cancer
and that if you stare at the tv too much your eyes will fall out, since tv is almost my life i know that isn't true i stare at tv all day and me eyes have better than average vision :p
Cooldudebob
04-09-2005, 11:42 AM
If you pick your nose, your nose will fall off
Tweekish
04-09-2005, 11:58 AM
If you watch too much TV you get square eyes...
sack the chimp
04-09-2005, 12:38 PM
One of my mates has come out with a few, but the only one I can think of is "Honey Wasps". She's quite confident that there is a kind of wasp called the honey wasp which makes honey.
Google thinks differently.
maw3193
04-09-2005, 02:01 PM
Apparently the colourings in those blue strip sweet things with the soft shit in the middle are made from beetles. O.o
That would be cochineal, and it is true, just go ask snopes.
porkchops
04-09-2005, 02:19 PM
Bears only eat fish becaue their mouth isnt big enough for humans! :shock: :zoidberg:
Geek Grrrl
04-09-2005, 03:24 PM
"eating crusts will give you curly hair"
mother told my nephew this, his reply "I eat curly fries :) "
MichaelJackson
04-09-2005, 03:49 PM
If you pick your nose, your nose will fall off
That one is actually true. (those who don't get the joke straight away, look at my username)
moovok
04-09-2005, 04:30 PM
"eating crusts will give you curly hair"
mother told my nephew this, his reply "I eat curly fries :) "
My mother eats burnt toast cause my grandma told her it would give her curly hair.
Mittwoch
04-09-2005, 05:27 PM
And also black cats and walking under ladders. Ladders I can understand though, a dropped hammer hurts.
The ladder thing is an old superstition. The ladder forms a triangle with the floor and wall, symbolising the holy trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. If you break this by walking through it you're in league with the devil :eng101:
Scott Star
04-09-2005, 05:35 PM
The ladder thing is an old superstition. The ladder forms a triangle with the floor and wall, symbolising the holy trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. If you break this by walking through it you're in league with the devil :eng101:
how did you hear about this?
Mittwoch
04-09-2005, 05:46 PM
how did you hear about this?
The internet I do believe.
The ladder thing is an old superstition. The ladder forms a triangle with the floor and wall, symbolising the holy trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. If you break this by walking through it you're in league with the devil :eng101:
Well, in that case...
*walks underneath ladder, several times*
Wait, do you get extra points for walking underneath it more than once? What about the size of the ladder? Will I now be burned by Holy Water?
deliops
04-09-2005, 11:50 PM
you know those big spools of hay in that are put in the middle of fields? (sorry i dont know what they are actually called..) well when i was younger my dad told me that they were horse cocoons and i believed him for too long...
also when i was really little i sucked my finger (not my thumb, i guess i always wanted to be a little different ;) ) and my dad told me that if i didnt stop it would turn green and fall off.
albie_123
04-09-2005, 11:54 PM
When I was 6 and my mum said "Watching TV makes your eyes square!" I replied:
"How can watching a T.V alter not only your skull, one of the hardest bones in the body, but also your eyeballs, which are so soft if you squished them very gently they'd be scarred for life?"
Needless to say, she didn't say it anymore.
terrorbite
05-09-2005, 12:14 AM
If you eat your carrots you can see in the dark.
That was started during the second world war as propaganda. RAF pilots said they ate carrots to help them see in the dark, when actually they were using a new invention - radar.
Having said that, carrots are packed with beta-carotene which is the plant form of vitamin A, and necessary for healthy eyesight. Apparently it can indeed help with night vision.
Apparently the colourings in those blue strip sweet things with the soft shit in the middle are made from beetles. O.o
The colouring does come from crushed beetles called cochineal, but its red not blue. I think red smarties used to used it. Not sure if they still do :)
Erskien_Parkour
06-09-2005, 06:25 PM
"How can watching a T.V alter not only your skull, one of the hardest bones in the body, but also your eyeballs, which are so soft if you squished them very gently they'd be scarred for life?"
if you said that when you were six...you must now be some kind of superhuman! :shock: :ultra:
Lamson
06-09-2005, 06:29 PM
The ladder thing is an old superstition. The ladder forms a triangle with the floor and wall, symbolising the holy trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. If you break this by walking through it you're in league with the devil :eng101:
Oh, that means I can't walk through set-squares now either.............
pietastic_saz
06-09-2005, 06:36 PM
When you sneeze your heart stops for a millisecond.
o.0 I have hayfever. I should be worried.
gruff
06-09-2005, 06:37 PM
If you click your knuckles you'l get athritis. (Crap spelling)
A burger takes three months to digest.
At this one waterpark, somebody had been down slotting razor blades in all the joins in a waterslide...ouch!
Yorkshire Tea
06-09-2005, 06:40 PM
That things would get better.
:(
Pilk Man
06-09-2005, 07:31 PM
It's true that gum can increase your chances of Cancer. It's something to do with one of the flavouring agents.
I was always disappointed with the carrot-eyes-dark thing. I expected 1337 nightvision. Needless to say I didn't get it...
In a cruel twist of fate, I reckon playing with mysself has improved my vision as I can see muc hclearer these days.
A lesson for you children!
Don't eat carrots! Masturbate instead!
Inverse
06-09-2005, 07:34 PM
In a cruel twist of fate, I reckon playing with mysself has improved my vision as I can see muc hclearer these days.
You know I'm inclined to agree. I can see really well in the dark and I havn't eaten carrot in 7 years. Not since I realised it tasted like ass.
If you masturbate a lot, your penis will grow bigger.
Many a friend hath died in testing above myth.
Pilk Man
06-09-2005, 07:43 PM
Again, I'm inclined to agree.
I swear to God that my masturbational habbits have caused my penis to enlarge.
It's all about stretching out the penile tissues with large ammounts of blood :p
Failing that, it could just be that puberty left my genitals a bit late.
Don't 'play' with yourself too much. You'll go blind :) (That and it can bend :/ tust me)
Pilk Man
06-09-2005, 10:35 PM
HAHAH Dude has a bent knob! :p
But seriously, dude, that sucks...*roffle*
carpefula
06-09-2005, 11:44 PM
This is kind of off-topic but i was reading The Daily Mail (Something i NEVER do) the other day and there was an article telling of danger of dairy in your diet.
Apparently dairy will increase the chances of Ovarian cancer in women.
I was quite shocked by this, seeing as i like milk and have a womb, untill i read further.
The increase is apparently only by 0.02% and (i quote - i found the old paper in the car) "the risk is too insignificant to warrent a change of diet"
So anyway, let me get this straight... Dairy in your diet causes a slight increse in the chances of ovarian cancer. The experts sat this isn't a high risk increase. Such a slight increase that you should NOT change your diet. So, do tell me because i'm clutching at straws here....
HOW THE HELL IS THIS NEWS!??
And that my dears is why i don't read the mail.
Fin
Smartie
07-09-2005, 08:37 AM
That R-Kelly belives he can fly.
This is clearly an urban myth.
Red sky at night Shepherds delight - there are so few shepherds left, that this isn't applicable anymore! Plus, what was their delight...? :ninja:
jimeh
07-09-2005, 09:04 AM
And that chewing gum stays in your stomach for a year without being digested.
It doesn't. You just get a lump in you poopoo.
You do??
RECYCLING TIME!
albie_123
07-09-2005, 09:07 AM
if you said that when you were six...you must now be some kind of superhuman! :shock: :ultra:
No, just a total smartass. ;)
The crusts on toast give you curly hair.
Hey, I ate bread with crusts, and my hairs as straight as a plank of wood.
Pilk Man
07-09-2005, 09:16 AM
Apparently dairy will increase the chances of Ovarian cancer in women.
I was quite shocked by this, seeing as i like milk and have a womb, untill i read further.
Well, seeing as you only appear to have a womb it's not a problem is it? :p
terrorbite
07-09-2005, 12:55 PM
Apparently dairy will increase the chances of Ovarian cancer in women.
I was quite shocked by this, seeing as i like milk and have a womb, untill i read further.
Milk is for babies. Cow's milk is for baby cows. Its fattening because calves need to grow very fast. By the time you reach about 2 or 3, the enzymes in your stomach which break down milk all but disappear. In some people they disappear altogether which is why they are lactose intolerant.
Humans are the only species to drink milk in adulthood, and the only species to drink the milk of another animal.
Meatball
07-09-2005, 01:04 PM
MMaasstteerrbbaattiioonn iimmppaaiirrss yyoouurr vviissiioonn!!
AAbbssoolluuttee lliieess!!
Pilk Man
07-09-2005, 03:45 PM
Also the stories about the ginger bread man are false...it's just an excuse for the baker ot eat them and say they ran away.
Lying bastard...
Red sky at night Shepherds delight - there are so few shepherds left, that this isn't applicable anymore! Plus, what was their delight...? :ninja:
It's true, the red sky at night is to do with the light reflecting off of passing clouds or a passing front, so you won't get rain. But when the sun rises and there is a red sky, it means rain is coming your way, seeing so sun rise is opposite of sunset.
BlueberryMuffin
07-09-2005, 04:40 PM
Anyone with older siblings will have heard a plethora of these sorts of tales.
One of my favourites has to be from my older sister, that eating yoghurt would make your privates fall off (bastard, she just wanted the last yogo ¬_¬)
maw3193
07-09-2005, 05:02 PM
When you sneeze your heart stops for a millisecond.
o.0 I have hayfever. I should be worried.
Oh... THAT explains the pain in my chest *dies* :angel:
Pilk Man
08-09-2005, 08:17 AM
When you sneeze, your heart actually stop for about a second. If it didn't, the reversed blood pressure would make it explode.
Big Grim
09-09-2005, 12:19 AM
My Mum told me when I was a kid that if you undid your belly button, yer arse would fall off. Pish.
I_triangle_rofA
09-09-2005, 06:23 AM
when i was a youngin', I asked my big brother what puberty was and he told me that when you turn 13, you penis shrivels up and falls off. That gave me quite a scare so i duct taped me wang to me belly.
Fade Away
09-09-2005, 06:27 AM
I always thought that if you swallowed a watermelon seed you would grow a watermelon inside you.
[edit] - Ooo Ooo!
I dunno if this is true still.
When you sneeze, you have to close your eyes, they don't stay open.
Why?
Because if you open them your eyes will fall out!
...or they just shut because you are sneezing?
Pilk Man
09-09-2005, 10:48 AM
when i was a youngin', I asked my big brother what puberty was and he told me that when you turn 13, you penis shrivels up and falls off. That gave me quite a scare so i duct taped me wang to me belly.
GRRRRR!! DUCK TAPE!!
DUCK.
TAPE.
:mad:
O RLY?
09-09-2005, 12:33 PM
I always thought that if you swallowed a watermelon seed you would grow a watermelon inside you.
[edit] - Ooo Ooo!
I dunno if this is true still.
When you sneeze, you have to close your eyes, they don't stay open.
Why?
Because if you open them your eyes will fall out!
...or they just shut because you are sneezing?
I can sneeze with my eyes open..You see this blue-ish flash, but your eyes don't pop out.
Isn't it impossible to keep your eyes open sneezing? If so I think you're talking out of your arse and I want proof.
Pilk Man
10-09-2005, 07:14 PM
Haha! That's gonna be a fucked up photo :p
{EmMa*DiLeMmA}
10-09-2005, 07:43 PM
Isn't it impossible to keep your eyes open sneezing? If so I think you're talking out of your arse and I want proof.
Nah, not impossible. Very possible.
I perfected the fine art of sneezing with my eyes open when I was putting mascara on one day. (I had a cold) I was sneezing all morning and the mascara was still wet when i sneezed and i ended up with huge panda eyes.
Its weird sneezing with your eyes open but it can be done. I don't recomment it though.
ADoorMadeOfPoop
11-09-2005, 05:35 PM
Masturbation makes you blind.
If that was true then I would be blind as a bat by now.
carpefula
11-09-2005, 05:39 PM
Alcohol makes you fat..*snigger*
Pilk Man
11-09-2005, 07:55 PM
Alcohol makes you fat..*snigger*
Well...it does.
Pinstripes
11-09-2005, 10:11 PM
My grandpa's name being "Jerry Attrick" which I believed for 7 years.
wocket
11-09-2005, 10:44 PM
GRRRRR!! DUCK TAPE!!
DUCK.
TAPE.
:mad:
wrong! (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=duct%20tape)
haha u lewz. (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=duck%20tape)
Pilk Man
12-09-2005, 07:09 AM
wrong! (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=duct%20tape)
haha u lewz. (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=duck%20tape)
Grrr!
I heard it was invented in Vietnam by the marines. Used ot keep water out of ammo crates.
{EmMa*DiLeMmA}
12-09-2005, 07:14 PM
What about that one - A sneeze is 1/8th of an orgasm? Everyone just seems to think its true but I don't think anyone ever really investigated that theory.
Sure doesn't feel like 1/8th of an orgasm - more like 1/8th of a pain in my ass.
(the other 7/8ths being that I have a cold right now and can't stop bloody sneezing. nd if that legend is true I've had at least 5 orgasms today!)
Big Grim
12-09-2005, 11:11 PM
If that legend is true I've had at least 5 orgasms today!)
I'd be happy to help you with that. :)
freddiestarfish
13-09-2005, 09:29 AM
GAFFER TAPE ACTUALLY :p
Vickers tape tbh
</very specific area of northern england speak>
Angel@heart
28-09-2005, 01:34 PM
I'm not sure whether it's a myth but it seem stupidly ridiculous:
Some one told me that when it rains, cows look up and because they're so stupid they keep their heads up and end up drowning.
Hee hee it sounds hilarious
Pilk Man
28-09-2005, 01:38 PM
Not if you're the farmer who's herd is too retarded to stop drowning...
Glitch
01-10-2005, 10:22 AM
While it isn't duck tape now, it used to be:
Duct tape on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duct_tape)
The History of Duct Tape (http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inventions/ducttape.htm).
Both state that it was duck tape.
mooatr
01-10-2005, 10:50 AM
I was told I would die tommorrow. Luckily tommorrow never comes.
Jam_Hunter
01-10-2005, 02:36 PM
When I was little, my big sister told me that the automated woman's voice on the phone was a real person, and that she had been locked in a broom cupboard which loads of phones to answer. I kept trying to talk to her, but all she ever said was "please hang up".
I though she was very rude.
Zeropathic
01-10-2005, 02:56 PM
"My name is Tom...
If you dont send this e-mail to 20 of your friends, I will send that scary girl from the ring into your bedroom tonight to kill you."
reallllly... too bad he doesn't even know her name.
yeah... I used to believe that those type of messages were true, until I found out they were cons.
Pilk Man
01-10-2005, 05:34 PM
My mum used to tell me that there were no loos on planes so that I wouldn't move about :p
duggyfresh
01-10-2005, 09:37 PM
Eating cheese before bed gives you nightmares? Bollocks.
poliobear
02-10-2005, 02:26 AM
i belive it wasn't nightmares, just different types of dreams, i want to try it. a ceiling fan can cut your head off-not true.
duggyfresh
02-10-2005, 01:11 PM
Going in the cheese bin before bedtime...now that DOES give you nightmares.
Glitch
09-10-2005, 01:22 PM
My mum told me that the gear numbers on the gearstick corresponded to how many places you wanted to go that day. So if you wanted to go to two places, you'd do it in second gear.
I have a friend who thinks knifes and forks were invented not for eating, but for stabbing into other cavemen..
TX_101
09-10-2005, 01:47 PM
While it isn't duck tape now, it used to be:
Duct tape on Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duct_tape)
The History of Duct Tape (http://www.ideafinder.com/history/inventions/ducttape.htm).
Both state that it was duck tape.
Duct tape is the type of tape.
Duck tape is a brand name.
Gaffer tape is colloquial.
Vickers Tape is just stupid.
Now enough :p
freddiestarfish
09-10-2005, 04:08 PM
Vickers Tape is just stupid.
I would have to disagre with you there, on the grounds that it's not.
Pilk Man
09-10-2005, 08:12 PM
Duct tape is the type of tape.
Duck tape is a brand name.
Gaffer tape is colloquial.
Vickers Tape is just stupid.
Now enough :p
I KNEW IT!! HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE, FOOLS!!! :p :p :p
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