Headlines

[Ouch!]

This is soooo funny to do. Here's how it works, I'll start, and I'll post the start of a random headline, eg:

Protesters angry after....

Then the next person who posts finishes the headline and starts a new one!! So for that one i'd write:

Protesters angry after someone stole their picket signs


So for the next person, the start of your headline is:

62% of people in Europe believe...

[3v1l |\/|1NiOn]

... that the other 38% are not Europeans at all.



In 5 years, 17000....

[captain canuck]

band-aids will have turned up inexplicably in airline food.

Proud mother of octuplets says "

[Tiggs]

"What hapened to the 9th one?"

Hundreds jump in shock as...

[Bloopo]

...Tony Blair announces new tax cuts.

Every day millions of women...

[Ste150]

...become men.

Bush has a run in...

[Thomp]

with a tree

10,000 pies are consumed at...

[allfalldown]

...the annual weebl and bob convention.

Angry Harry Potter fans say...

[3v1l |\/|1NiOn]

.... "AVEDA KEDAVERA," and then realise that doesn't work in real life


1 in 5 men say that ....

[Preasure]

...they like soppy movies, but are too scared to admit it

All Lions officialy...

[Swirl]

...scream when they see Steve Urwin

Scandal hits...

[Ste150]

...a wall and falls of his bike.

Iran Nuclear Issue May...

[Mushroom]

...ignite at any moment

Local thugs destroy...

[stalefish]

calculator using pepperoni pizza.

Crisis follows angry...

[Ouch!]

... goldfish sellers.

I thought of one that will proboably never happen in this game:
"Too many cooks... complain about inaccuracy of popular phrase"
Onward with the headlines!! GOOD JOB EVERYONE!!! THEY'RE V.FUNNY!!

Politicians not happy with new...

[Mushroom]

...honest minister

Studies show that one in ten...

[MichaelJackson]

..equals 10%

Local yobs destroy pentioners...

[Soapie]

...use of the letter s.

Mother awakes to find...

[junior]

...that she's actually never given birth.

Riots in city over...

[Ouch!]

...spilled milk. Local authorities baffled.

Concert cancelled due to...

[Lestat]

....major growing up of fans

Tim Henman finally....

[Simon]

gives up and is officially the last person to realise its hopeless

New research has shown that indigestion...

[Soapie]

...is a healthy way to start the day (as part of a complete breakfast).

German government sues...

[Cooldudebob]

people who eat bananas.

20% of banana eaters end up

[magic_pea]

...Turning yellow.

Stash of Cocaine found in...

[Comrade Smith]

... George Bushes pants

World rejoyces over...

[Captain]

...legalization of bestiality

10% tax rise on...

[Midget]

...bondage equipment

tony blair announces...

[Cooldudebob]

he is gay

Mrs blair....

[bionic sheep]

is too busy singing to notice.

Green party announces . . .

[Cooldudebob]

that they hug trees.

Coca cola use

[Arkwright]

Soylent green techniques

Damn, dirty apes found...

[Cooldudebob]

machine guns

Video games come to life

[Lestat]

...after country wide sleep deprivation

People world-wide drop pants when

[Boyinabox]

...they get changed.


The pope attends...

[3v1l |\/|1NiOn]

.... Religious Education evening classes.


Studies have shown that, during ...

[allfalldown]

...Black Sabbath Concert

EDIT- Damn, beat me.

...during World War I, no shots were fired.

80% of gossip columnists...

[woobi]

..are written by Eamon Holmes

79% of all paper mache is...

[Boyinabox]

...legal documents

New aeroplane....

[woobi]

...turns out to be a boat

Having ab's makes you prone to...

[Lestat]

...being the jerk on a beach in movies

78% of pepople believe that statistics

[Ouch!]

are 78% wrong

Scientists prove that global warming...

[RobW]

...increases the chance of getting spinal meningitis.



Drunken man shoots his...

[albie_123]

Gun.

Man frozen in ice for 1,000 years says "

[Ouch!]

"damn that was cold"

Rappers are found to be 86% more likely...

[albie_123]

to be black wannabes pretending to be black.

Rockets heading straight towards...

[Urlosenged]

Mars are shot down by mysterious spaceships.

A new car has been invented that...

[Tweekish]

runs entirely on soap.

Scientists announced a breakthrough with...

[stalefish]

large brain-washing doohickies.

Large cloud causes...

[Cooldudebob]

toilets to leak.

Giant melons...

[FoxDhoj]

...trigger the creation of maggot/fungus crossbreeds that set fire to anything made of rubber.

John Cleese has been accused of poking Michael Palin with...

[Mitch]

...a large garden gnome

Man on a train trips over a...

[Urlosenged]

an inconviently placed elephant.

Man fights a kangaroo and....

[Shazzy]

is jailed for animal cruelty.

Lost city of Atlantis is found..

[Tweekish]

behind fridge in Peckham.

Otters have been...

[Shazzy]

extinct for millions of years according to new research.

Man dies after eating..

[FoxDhoj]

...a small purple, leather suitcase.

Pope shouts at Archbishop of Canterbury for...

[guy in a box]

a map of new york

Research has found that computers...

[stalefish]

Are slightly smarter than eggs.

Numa Numa Song causes...

[FoxDhoj]

a type of bamboo to only be found in certain parts of Bristol's IKEA.

Mr Motivator sues...

[Inverse]

himself.

14 dead in...

[guy in a box]

a microwave

Space shuttle has...

[stalefish]

wings stuck-on with chewing-gum.

A controvesial new study shows that...

[FoxDhoj]

Mr Motivator actually sued GMTV for making him wear 80's clothes in the 90's.

The Times interviews Tom Hanks...

[N@0m!]

...Over email

Over use of Mp3 players causing...

[FoxDhoj]

the first human cache to be made.

Tony Blair pokes fun at...

[sack the chimp]

....the "Blinded by Poking Memorial Choir"

John Prescott...

[Inverse]

SMELLS!

smoking causes...

[stalefish]

spontaneous combustion of the cranium.

Once upon a time...

[guy in a box]

a man chopperd someones head off with a plasctic spoon.

The bowl of cereal...

[Inverse]

can be used as a primitive form of explosive, says this tramp.

Studies shed new light on the dangers of...

[N@0m!]

The colour green

£10 has been awarded to...

[porkchops]

a man with £20

Animal rights protestors block..

[maw3193]

the toilet with an unwanted chairman.

Study has found that emo kids ...

[porkchops]

eat more cabbages than normal ones

13% of Americans are afraid of...

[maw3193]

Waking up to find their leader is an idiot, which explains the large insomniac population.

[Lestat]

their reflection

England finally

[porkchops]

doesnt have David James starting in goal phew

Scientis prove eacting spinach..

[maw3193]

Was the reason for popeye's infertility

Scientific studies have found that glass eyes ...

[Mr stabby]

taste like glass.

90% of woman are

[Cooldudebob]

starting out as men.

9% ofvideo game players are...

[The Visioneer]

...gerbils

Washing too often may actually...

[Cooldudebob]

cause loss of genitals.

Pirates found out that...

[stalefish]

...scimitars are very pointy. Very pointy indeed.

Mushrooms and cauliflowers today caused...

[guy in a box]

mutant lepricorns to appear... According to local town.

George Bush was...

[Ouch!]

edit:
made president by mistake!

Beer found to cure...

[guy in a box]

diabetes for people of ages 0-3 and 64-91.

The car was...

[maw3193]

like that when I got there, honest!" says local miscreant

Ants behind ...

[stalefish]

rock say 'teh cat is teh k00lerest!' in a comically delerious voice as drugs are found under nearby stone.

In New Jersey, the rumour is...

[guy in a box]

that the CIA base is underneath it

Two more perople managed to...

[maw3193]

blink in the second I wrote this post

The word on the street is ...

[moovok]

...Pollywotsit

TV Star splits with...

[Inverse]

an axe.

£50 million to be spent on...

[stalefish]

...£49,999,999.99!

T.V. star says...

[moovok]

.. it wasn't her first time.

Brittany Spears Admits To...

[magic_pea]

..having "Done it again"

American Survey shows ...

[Bisyss]

...American's don't trust surveys.

After it happened...

[moovok]

...An Uproar Came From The UK

Cliffs Found To Be...

[porkchops]

dangerous to random electrical equipment

George Bush reveals he still...

[Captain]

loves his daddy.

Rapist comes clean to...

[Preasure]

...prevent his socks smelling

France obeys whim and...

[gruff]

eats frogs.

First woman prison guard says...

[Urlosenged]

"geez, this place is so dank. Let me just cheer this place up a bit...."

Cheese has been found to...

[Mozzer]

...be a good substitute for a copy of Windows XP.

Google reveal a new...

[Cooldudebob]

condom.

Pirates eat...

[maw3193]

Scones, cases of scurvy drop exponentially.

David Beckham to ...

[Lestat]

reach pubery and break voice soon, says Victoria

Government in shock

[maw3193]

after bush's squirrel-trousers incident.

one out of ten people ...

[Yorkshire Tea]

...are fans of the Goodies.

'Tony Blair insisted the overspending on the NHS would not affect the size of...'

[maw3193]

his penis

many people are unaware that ...

[gruff]

many people are unaware.

Bill gates laughs as...

[maw3193]

New Orleans disappears under the sea.

European study shows that ...

[Lozzie Stardust]

...we all hate the french.

Cream pies are...

[Ouch!]

the cause of WWII.

Scientists prove that Europe...

[Lozzie Stardust]

are in the final countdown of worst bands ever.

I think you all...

[captain canuck]

have been replaced by pod-people", says paranoid minister for overseas development, before mysterious dissapearance...

CIA Intelligence Leak Traced to...

[Preasure]

...cups-and-string telephone in local safehouse

Its Official! All...

[magic_pea]

Chavs own at least 1 item of Fake Burberry.

Marijuana plant found behind...

[maw3193]

garden shed of queen.

elephants are ...

[guy in a box]

going crazy because they have been locked inside someones closet.

Never again will...

[stalefish]

custard be used in that way, after that incident.

(Ooh...secrecy...http://www.weebls-stuff.com/forums/images/smilies/emot-ninja.gif)

Large partying after...

[moovok]

Riots in streets.

Toilet Humour is renamed as

[Ouch!]

poo jokes.

Worlds tallest man...

[Boyinabox]

mistaken for man on stilts.

Shocked TV viewers say "...

[gxfu]

"In another 7 minutes we will chop our genitalia off and live as hermits in Pennsylvania."

Bananas shown to cause many types of...

[gxfu]

...Double posting.

Interneers riot against...

[RobW]

...Gxfu doing a double-post because they're lame and have no friends.

Forumites hate...

[Boyinabox]

Cautious consumers.

Salad is now...

[gxfu]

... full of poisonous destructive snails that are coming to kill you.

@! @! @! @! @! @! @!

Tornado victims in the State of Confusion now looking for...

[maw3193]

A pen to rename their state to confusion rather than (whatever it is actually called)

Anti-videogames crusader Jack Thompson ...

[Preasure]

...caught sneakilly playing GTA in his attic.

Chain mail causes...

[Frenchie]

...postmen to stick mail in there pants

Idiots jump off a building to...

[Nuclear Spoon]

see what's at the bottom.

Blue trees cause uproar in...

[Lozzie Stardust]

...Canada

I got a new pair of lollerskates...

[Bloopo]

...Look at them all standing in a row.

Large homosexual spiders known to...

[Nuclear Spoon]

hump legs of humans before biting them.


Mentally incapacitated midget Greeks say...

[Preasure]

Walkmen! to everybody they meet.

Cilit Bang found in...

[carpefula]

....Bin Laden's caves"

"One in ten Sun readers admit......"

[Mezmerize]

that they have small penis'

Every ten minutes

[Lozzie Stardust]

...I dance.

iPods...

[Nuclear Spoon]

are grown from specially planted cocoa beans.

Massive whale found in...

[Mezmerize]

Nuclear spoon

22% of men....

[Nuclear Spoon]

are not women.


Scientists discover that PMT...

[Frenchie]

causes birth defects

1/2 of mankind is.....

[Erasmus]

...better than no mankind at all

Blue ink discovered to...

[moovok]

A shade of Black

Post-It Notes Cause Serious

[Erasmus]

...neural disruptions if stuck directly onto brain

weebl and bob voted...

[charlieman]

...happiest in fridge

dog eats...

[Erasmus]

...half of France, there is much rejoicing worldwide

rogue missile hits...

[charlieman]

...england, america blamed

mould found to be...

[Erasmus]

...tone-deaf
charlieman found to be...

[charlieman]

...true lord of darkness!!!! (sorry....)

Erasmus once caught...

[Erasmus]

...doing absolutely nothing! You can't prove anything you bastards!!

Forums discovered to...

[carpefula]

Fry the brain and flatten the fingers.....


Madonna was caught today with....

[Erasmus]

...giant bassball glove

nuclear waste declared to be...

[carpefula]

.....good for the complexion

.....My kipling today claimed,

[gxfu]

that his penis was not made out of spongey material that lived in pineapples under the sea.

Scotch brand invisible tape is prone to...

[renatzu]

bouts of chronic coughing

Local spelling bee champion says...

[Urlosenged]

"WOOT! I am teh leet speller."

Computers have been found to cause...

[gruff]

the common cold.

JFK'S assassin is...

[moovok]

still out there.

France changes language yet again to

[renatzu]

a strange mix of Chinese and Esperanto.

Homeless man found wearing...

[Smartie]

nothing but a tea towel.

President bush admits that...

[esquilax]

he's not real

Most people don't know..

[Simon]

...that the rest are laughing at them

Doctors say smiling can...

[Lozzie Stardust]

...make your mouth hurt.

I Like...

[Smartie]

Batman!

In a recent poll of four fish and a cabbage...

[maw3193]

They said absolutely nothing.

The new word on the street is ...

[Ouch!]

written in black paint.

46% of National Budget for next year allocated to...

[charlieman]

...seeing what 4 fish and a cabbage want

trees found to...

[fishface60]

...cause global warming
MMOGs...

[Ouch!]

have been autobanned for having -500 points.
(lmao!)
Petrol prices...

[Erasmus]

...lowered in response to cat throwing protestors

The...

[fishface60]

...Fish shall rise up out of the sea and destroy us all

Always remember to...

[maw3193]

Brush your teeth with skunkweed.

local chineseman says ...

[Ste150]

haha im not local or chinese!!

Shaving while drunk...

[dejosc]

...is a danger to ears


Old people should never...

[maw3193]

..have children" says minister of upbringing.

A moose was seen ...

[Ste150]

...pretending to be a gorillia. In drag

37% Of British Men Have Tried..

[stalefish]

mariuana (sp?). If you're one of the 67% that haven't you are so uncool!

Earlier, a sniper killed...

[dejosc]

George Bush Hooray

one million...

[Ste150]

is a very big number.

Street Proformer Finds...

[Erasmus]

...toad in watermelon

Moog...

[crab]

amazed 10,000 in a stunning solo performance at the Albert Hall.

Boy in...

[gxfu]

Pants, thank goodness, otherwise he'd be naked.

local girl the winner of..

[crab]

the prize. The prize is herpes. Sorry.

Thinner thighs in...

[Mr stabby]

new tinned cans.

"Isnt this a begginers word game says.....

[Erasmus]

...says you.

Everyone else says...

[crab]

:zoidberg:

"I want to end it all", says...

[Erasmus]

...manically depressed street mime

The mayor of London...

[dejosc]

is probably english

Cheese has...

[moovok]

a slightly cheesy taste to it.

Lottery Winner Spends It On

[Frenchie]

giant birthday cake

giant gorrila...

[charlieman]

...found to be very small

my radio...

[fishface60]

...is broken

I have a...

[Lestat]

very boring life

prime minister announces

[stalefish]

that he is publicly ghey.

In Russia, it is...

[Ste150]

very cold and windy.

Cricket Heros To Tour....

[Fezwald]

kazakhstan this winter

Sven officially anounces...

[stalefish]

...he is also ghey.

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Large panic after enormous...

(I'm sure you can think of something really funny for this...)

[Fezwald]

toilet engulfs sweedish president

Today in Alaska the eskimos decide to...

[guy in a box]

build a giant toaster.

Unfortunally everyone in New York...

[charlieman]

...smells

wales found to be source...

[Fezwald]

of a fieled of cloned sheep all called dolly

In local news...

[Ste150]

not a lot goes on.

Oxford English Dictionary to Include...

[Fezwald]

shazznm gools and chav.

Oxford history professor...

[charlieman]

...found in crisps

glass now contains...

[Fezwald]

4 different kinds of meat

Today experts were baffled as...

[charlieman]

...pigs fly!!!

an apple a day...

[Ste150]

will depleat the world's supplies by 2010

Surrey Voted Britains Worst..

[charlieman]

...romantic vacation spot

candles found in...

[guy in a box]

a paper handbag.

People can now...

[Preasure]

pray on Google.

Man arrested for...

[Chassisbot]

...Setting fire to own hair.

Cat boiled alive in washing machine, prime suspect is...

(This one's for you, Meads.)

[Ste150]

a pack of vengeful mice

Dogs with 3 legs often..

[Fezwald]

have trouble compleating the London marathon

Scientist prove that....

[crab]

he is the real slim shady.

The Prince Escort ran into...

[guy in a box]

a lamp post made of foam.

Chickens are now...

[Lestat]

50 per cent more chickeny!!!!!

eggs confuse many

[crab]

pregnant roosters.
George Bush declares war on...

[Chassisbot]

...the sky, under pressure to do something about Katrina.

Furioso Dreadnoughts...

[Ouch!]

causing havoc. Ctrl+Alt+Delete fails to work.

AOL: "Sorry, we're crap because....

[charlieman]

....we just plain dont like you"

dogs can now...

[captain canuck]

look up.

temperature reaches record high on...

[Frenchie]

friday in antartica


Studys show pillows....

[charlieman]

...= comfey!!!

morocco declared...

[fishface60]

...full of cats

Hats declared...

[charlieman]

...a heaven for lice

on this day...

[albie_123]

you are reading this headline.

Man marries a...

[Urlosenged]

puzzled giraffe.

Scientists discover that lack of sleep....

[Erasmus]

...causes people to spend far to much time on forums

God is in fact...

[Fezwald]

a hermit who lives in a cave in Ohio

Riots break out all over Germany as...

[Cooldudebob]

people turn into cannibles

School is...

[Fezwald]

declared extinct as headmasters around the globe are eaten by giants

Rappers decide to...

[Cooldudebob]

stop talking and start singing (shock horror)

CD'S are the number 1 cause of...

[woobi]

...AIDs in people with a CD fetish

Tests reveal that anal sex is...

[Ouch!]

are now 32% more comfortable than people think.

86% of people over the age of 65...

[guy in a box]

have a broken alarm clock.

In schools, children can now...

[woobi]

...eat their teachers, thanks to the brand new 'eat your teacher watch', loaded with lasers and hands.

20% of all dogs have the ability to...

[stalefish]

hump sofas to the tune of 'Hit me Baby One More Time' by Britney Spears.

The EU today was disgusted by...

[guy in a box]

the lack of pillows in the crowd at reading.

The new legal age to...

[Ouch!]

rise. everyone under will be culled.

Latest Matt Damon film...

[woobi]

..stars Matt Damon

Police are hunting for 3 suspected...

[Ouch!]

donuts.

Eminem cancels tour due to...

[guy in a box]

the lack of masturpation.

The company sony have now...

[Ouch!]

more money than most of us.

Guinness proven to...

[stalefish]

make you drunk.

Lima, Peru was just one of the countries...

[Ouch!]

which were voted most irrelevant places on earth

22% of shoes...

[guy in a box]

that got eaten by a giant lizard.

All of England football fans have...

[woobi]

...the rest of us scared.

Most men claim to have...