Ste150
04-09-2005, 06:23 PM
Equipment needed:
1 (or more) piece(s) of homework. Preferably due in the next day, or late.
1 Computer
1 Internet forum
1 IRC Client
1 TV
5+ Bottles of fizzy drink
5+ snacks such as crisps, biscuits, chocolate muffins.
Preparation:
Remove all bread, milk and other necessary items from your kitchen the several days before homework is due in.
Change password for XP the day before, and forget it again prior to following this guide.
Method:
Step 1 – Waking Up:
Get out of bed far later than you meant to, by forgetting to set your alarm. For best results with this step, aim to rise from your pit at some point past mid-day.
When awake, stagger into the kitchen and attempt to get some cereal for breakfast. If you have prepared correctly, you will find you have no milk, thus making the fabrication of a bowl of cereal difficult.
After this, you must find that toast and all other conventional breakfast items are also out of the question, so grab a bottle of coke (or similar) and head back to your room.
Step 2 – Booting up the PC:
Press the power button on your PC. If all goes well, you should see a welcome screen after a moment. Again, if you have prepared well, you will be able to waste half an hour or more, trying to guess your password, cursing yourself for choosing an alphanumeric string rather than a whole word. Damn security.
After wasting as much time as possible, re-boot your PC in safe mode and log onto the now-available administrator account and re-set you password.
Step 3 – Starting your home work.
Open up all necessary applications onto your task bar. These include Word, PowerPoint, mIRC, Firefox (aimed at weebls-stuff fourms.), MSN etc etc.
At this point, you will see you have several emails, and should pause for at least 20 mins to read and sort them into appropriate folders. Next, you Should go to Word and start to type out your essay, writing the title before realising you never connected to the IRC server.
Do this now.
Step 4 – The rest of the day
With IRC connected, proceed to spend the whole day talking on it, with periodic drink and snack breaks.
You may also want to break up the day by typing a few sentences of your essay. But not so much as to constitute a finished piece of work.
Also, having the TV on while ‘working’ is a great help. For best results, sport is recommended. Such as an international football or cricket match.
Step 5 – Shit yourself about un finished essay.
Start worrying.
Come onto a forum and type out how you wasted your day in a light-hearted semi-scientific way.
That is all.
1 (or more) piece(s) of homework. Preferably due in the next day, or late.
1 Computer
1 Internet forum
1 IRC Client
1 TV
5+ Bottles of fizzy drink
5+ snacks such as crisps, biscuits, chocolate muffins.
Preparation:
Remove all bread, milk and other necessary items from your kitchen the several days before homework is due in.
Change password for XP the day before, and forget it again prior to following this guide.
Method:
Step 1 – Waking Up:
Get out of bed far later than you meant to, by forgetting to set your alarm. For best results with this step, aim to rise from your pit at some point past mid-day.
When awake, stagger into the kitchen and attempt to get some cereal for breakfast. If you have prepared correctly, you will find you have no milk, thus making the fabrication of a bowl of cereal difficult.
After this, you must find that toast and all other conventional breakfast items are also out of the question, so grab a bottle of coke (or similar) and head back to your room.
Step 2 – Booting up the PC:
Press the power button on your PC. If all goes well, you should see a welcome screen after a moment. Again, if you have prepared well, you will be able to waste half an hour or more, trying to guess your password, cursing yourself for choosing an alphanumeric string rather than a whole word. Damn security.
After wasting as much time as possible, re-boot your PC in safe mode and log onto the now-available administrator account and re-set you password.
Step 3 – Starting your home work.
Open up all necessary applications onto your task bar. These include Word, PowerPoint, mIRC, Firefox (aimed at weebls-stuff fourms.), MSN etc etc.
At this point, you will see you have several emails, and should pause for at least 20 mins to read and sort them into appropriate folders. Next, you Should go to Word and start to type out your essay, writing the title before realising you never connected to the IRC server.
Do this now.
Step 4 – The rest of the day
With IRC connected, proceed to spend the whole day talking on it, with periodic drink and snack breaks.
You may also want to break up the day by typing a few sentences of your essay. But not so much as to constitute a finished piece of work.
Also, having the TV on while ‘working’ is a great help. For best results, sport is recommended. Such as an international football or cricket match.
Step 5 – Shit yourself about un finished essay.
Start worrying.
Come onto a forum and type out how you wasted your day in a light-hearted semi-scientific way.
That is all.