What do you do over the toilet?

[gxfu]

You heard the question.

WHAT DO YOU DO OVER THE TOILET?

(or, qu'est-ce que vous faites sur la toilette :))

This has been a thing that has suddenly popped into my mind and I find that quite curious.

Usually, whenever I'm strutting my stuff, I pop open a newspaper or a funny comic book and read away. Mother hears me giggle in the bathroom, but I assure her that that's just because of the comic book.

My cousin used to take his gameboy into the latrine, and you could actually hear the buttons click away in the adjacent room.

So.

What do you do?

(remember to keep a level of confidentiality. Remember; I just had dinner.)

[luttman23]

I wee over the toilet when I'm drunk.

[terrorbite]

I read the product labels of anything within arms reach.

[moovok]

I just sit though at work I'm self conscious that someone is waiting for me to make a noise so I hold it in until there's nobody in there cause sometimes it's wind and you don't want to be the guy who makes wind. Though being a cleaner, you hear really ucky noises from the toilets AND you know who made them which always makes me look at them in a new light, normally a nasty evil light but a new light all the same.

I never really read or anything, just sit there, gazing and thinking my own thoughts, usually about story ideas. I did have two story ideas by sitting on the toilet, though normally my bed is 94% of my story ideas formed whilst under the sheets, having a little... thought :)

I hate people who take papers in the toilet cause they're too lazy to pick it up and take it with 'em. Tossers :D

[Quack]

Sometimes I ponder life's unanswerable questions on the toilet but mostly I just excrete my waste products. :D

[MichaelJackson]

I play my PSP on the shitter, that way when I play Burnout: Legends I can shit myself when I crash. Most of the time I remember to pull my trousers down.

[Captain]

I just sit though at work I'm self conscious that someone is waiting for me to make a noise so I hold it in until there's nobody in there cause sometimes it's wind and you don't want to be the guy who makes wind. Though being a cleaner, you hear really ucky noises from the toilets AND you know who made them which always makes me look at them in a new light, normally a nasty evil light but a new light all the same.

I never really read or anything, just sit there, gazing and thinking my own thoughts, usually about story ideas. I did have two story ideas by sitting on the toilet, though normally my bed is 94% of my story ideas formed whilst under the sheets, having a little... thought :)

I hate people who take papers in the toilet cause they're too lazy to pick it up and take it with 'em. Tossers :D

That's like scrubs with the epiphany toilet. :D

I think about how i would feel right now if i wasn't having said poo or wee.

[da-geezer]

I tend to review my text messages and respond to any I haven't replied to yet. Either that, or enjoy toilet-humour stories on ananova.

After that, I tend to think about what time I can be bothered to get up.

[Jay]

Draw play gba, DS etc. or read...

[McFrenzy]

I usually text my buddy to tell him I am in the toilet to which he replies he is watching me and could I do this and that he has a sick mind ;)

Or I read a pre-prepared mag , the toilet is like a temple of calm and relaxation and should be treated with due care and love :D

[allfalldown]

I just sit there :(

Is there something wrong with me? It seems odd to me that you would think "Oh, I need the loo, I'll just fetch my Gameboy" or whatever.

[argh]

You're weird allfalldown. Not doing anything.

[da-geezer]

It seems odd to me that you would think "Oh, I need the loo, I'll just fetch my Gameboy" or whatever.

I don't think it's quite that bad, I tend to just mess with whatever I've got on me. For example I usually review my messages; but if I've not got my phone on me, I'll just get my wallet out and see if any of my credit/debit cards are about to expire.

Hell, I just get on with it :D I don't go out of my way to think "oh that'll be great to do whilst on the shitter"!

[allfalldown]

I don't think it's quite that bad, I tend to just mess with whatever I've got on me.Curse my filthy mind.

I'm going to put my oddness down to the fact that I don't read newspapers, own a handheld games console, or have a working mobile phone.

But even if I did, I still wouldn't take them in with me.

Surely I can't be the only person who does nothing?

[LeoZ]

A take a book in, intending to read a few pages, and end up just staring at the back cover.

[Soapie]

Listen to iPod.

[Cjw]

I sometimes take album booklets in and read the lyrics and sleevenotes...

what?

[AngryPaul]

I tend to read Garfield books. Or a magazine I'm really into sometimes.I just sit though at work I'm self conscious that someone is waiting for me to make a noise so I hold it in until there's nobody in there cause sometimes it's wind and you don't want to be the guy who makes wind.I'm quite the opposite. I think that if people are silent in there they are either doing nowt or they were wimping out of using the urinal and being on display. That what I think others think. Also if you need the wee and use the loo instead of a urinal, I try and make sure I don't make weeing noises so people think I've avoided weeing next to them.

Don't know why I think you lot will understand. I know I don't. I just do it.

[Shave]

sit, shit, and move on

[Chavvy]

sit, shit, and move onWhat, no wiping? :p

[redheat]

I take my Wireless enabled laptop and post on forums like this. *g*

[Smartie]

This reminds me of a website I set up for my friend, for her employer on toilet habits!
(which is http://www.geocities.com/howdoyoupoo )

To answer the question, I get on with it, and back to whatever i was doing previously.

[gxfu]

I sometimes take album booklets in and read the lyrics and sleevenotes...

what?
Ohmagawd!

So it was YOU that always returns the library CD's with no album booklets!

(either that, or they were extremely wet and soggy.)

[maw3193]

I have a rather awkward conversation with my cat, he likes to sleep on the towels.

[Shave]

What, no wiping? :p

you think in my busy life i can spare time wiping?

in reality i can't afford toilet paper, newspaper, anyother paper, or running water to wash my hands

[Dr_nwa]

it depends.
at home i read one of the many trashy novels that my housemate and I have accumulated over the years. Since we moved into the new flat, they have gravitated towards the toilet.

By trashy, I mean novels with titles such as "the phi-sigma-kappa ordeal" or "The Conservative Manifesto".

At work i read incredibly high brow papers, with titles such as "the kappa signalling pathway features proteins expressed in the lower bowel" or "The Communist Manifesto".

In fact i have taken to dropping my load at work, as my toilet at home is small and stinks for days... Also the reading material is much better and generally for people with a decent IQ.

Of course, when i'm drunk I do what the romans did and read my future in the contents of my stomach. usually they tell me "you are going to hurl for at least another hour, bringing up only bile. That skanky kebab is going to give you the worst food posioning evar and the toilet will be your new besterest friend"

[Glitch]

I listen to my iPod, read shampoo labels (at home), check my pockets for something to play with or try to connect to WAP on my phone (curse 3s busy network!). Usually I just do nothing actually.

[dejosc]

i usually drop wipe and run, save time for my pc

[3v1l |\/|1NiOn]

I read the product labels of anything within arms reach.

Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride
Methylchlorylisothiazolinone

two chemicals in the shampoo I have.


I read labels too :( then I peel them off when I'm done.

[charlieman]

i consentrate my mines energy on trying to move that elusive toilet roll tube across the room from me, because i figure your at your most powerful when your at your most vunerable, and whens more vunerable than when you've got your trousers round your ankles....

[CoX]

I used to take my Game Boy in with me (about 10 years ago) until I dropped it down the bog. I never risked it again after that.

The Game Boy still works though. \o/

[Cjw]

So it was YOU that always returns the library CD's with no album booklets!

Nah, i'm the one that takes back a copy of muse's absolution in a different case because i broke it..

I've said too much..

[Playbus]

At home, I read Viz.......

At work, I try and beat my phone at Othello on the hardest level, which I've never managed to do. It's easy to beat on every other setting, but on "Very Hard" it's sodding impossible. I've been trying for 3 years!

[eleanor]

I did have two story ideas by sitting on the toilet, though normally my bed is 94% of my story ideas formed whilst under the sheets, having a little... thought wank :)
Oh fixed. :ninja:

[Dude]

I stop my penis from touching the bowl, and squeeze.

[woobi]

I sing or think about better times.

Question, do we have to be actually excramenting to answer to this thread, or can we just be other the toilet.

[RobW]

I read the British hit singles books bought from times ranging from 1980-2002 =\

[Zx Ninja]

I read the paper or talk to myslef.

[MR CHUM CHUMS]

I poo and wee when im on the toilet. This thread is disgusting.

[crab]

I read a few pages, or do whatever puzzle someone's left in there.

Man, it sucks if there's only the minesweeper-esque one in there. I can't do that.

[edit]

you think in my busy life i can spare time wiping?

in reality i can't afford toilet paper, newspaper, anyother paper, or running water to wash my hands

You need a slave. He can use his hands.

...

What?

[LeoZ]

is it just me who is genuinely finding this thread quite interesting?

[eleanor]

I write long and involved essays about the downfall of mankind as evidenced by the increase in numbers of Pokemon cards sold in corner shops around the country.

[Mr stabby]

I write long and involved essays about the downfall of mankind as evidenced by the increase in numbers of Pokemon cards sold in corner shops around the country.

B..b..but ladies dont poo!
I dont do much, if its a big 'un i might read whatevers in the bathroom at the time.
But when i wee wee then i take in a book and dont leave until the book is finished(hm...)

[duggyfresh]

I always poo first thing in the morning (yeees, after I get up, hah ha), so I'm never awake enough to read anything. I tend to sit there smoking a fag and try to deal with the fact I'm not asleep anymore.

[Chavvy]

I sit there praying to God that he STOPS IT FROM BURNING SO MUCH >.<

[allfalldown]

I sit there praying to God that he STOPS IT FROM BURNING SO MUCH >.<Maybe you should be on the phone to your doctor instead :p

[terrorbite]

I sit there praying to God that he STOPS IT FROM BURNING SO MUCH >.<

Ah rings of fire :)

I'll tell you what's worse though... when it burns while peeing. One time it was so bad I had to keep taking a break and splashing my dick with cold water.

That happened after a particularly hot curry btw. Maybe there's a link between phall curries and the phallus.

[Dr_nwa]

Ah rings of fire :)

I'll tell you what's worse though... when it burns while peeing. One time it was so bad I had to keep taking a break and splashing my dick with cold water.

That happened after a particularly hot curry btw. Maybe there's a link between phall curries and the phallus.
Is a hot curry a new euphanism (sp?) for a slut?

[Angel@heart]

Is a hot curry a new euphanism (sp?) for a slut?
ROFL Hee hee...that is so wrong. How come you see the dirty side to everything someone says? It's bloody hilarious
I feel really sorry for boys :nana: don't know why...Anyway..........

[Dr_nwa]

ROFL Hee hee...that is so wrong. How come you see the dirty side to everything someone says? It's bloody hilarious
I feel really sorry for boys :nana: don't know why...Anyway..........
because I was well trained many years ago. My master was totally adept at the innuendo and the identification of filth. I could train you, but I would need your life savings and the rights to your firstborn.

[maw3193]

i consentrate my mines energy on trying to move that elusive toilet roll tube across the room from me, because i figure your at your most powerful when your at your most vunerable, and whens more vunerable than when you've got your trousers round your ankles....

That could be taken out of context.

[whiskers]

I read the product labels of anything within arms reach.

me too

[Mr stabby]

I sit there praying to God that he STOPS IT FROM BURNING SO MUCH >.<

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Chavvy again.
:D

[Ben]

i play my nintendo ds lol

[Pie R Squared]

I thought everyone had a toilet library?!
Seriously, I manage to do most of reading on the shitter as there's no bugger there to interrrupt you!

[Mat^]

...

Toilet?

[queenofself]

it makes me laugh when you see long & meaningful poems scrawled over toilet walls (mostly in the student union ladies) mind you, if you come over all poetic whilst sitting on the toilet its as good a place as any to bash out a little lyricism

[terrorbite]

it makes me laugh when you see long & meaningful poems scrawled over toilet walls (mostly in the student union ladies) mind you, if you come over all poetic whilst sitting on the toilet its as good a place as any to bash out a little lyricism

I saw a picture of Weebl & Bob drawn in one of the toilet cubicles at my uni :)

[queenofself]

all i ever see are poems, character assassinations & political drivel

[argh]

it makes me laugh when you see long & meaningful poems scrawled over toilet walls (mostly in the student union ladies) mind you, if you come over all poetic whilst sitting on the toilet its as good a place as any to bash out a little lyricism
I like bathroom advice colums better. Seriously, why would multiple people give advice to someone who said they hate life while using the potty. Maybe they were just constipated.

At school I used to write "Mr MacMillian (the principal) watched you while you pee."