Wadi
08-01-2006, 06:02 PM
In 2005, I gone and won a tenner by predicting that the pope would die (OK, I didn't, but it sets me up for this article). This qualifies me to ask the question: Who will kick the bucket over the coming 12 months? Predictions can be found if you look just a few centimeters below this paragraph:
Margaret Thatcher
A hot contender, has been in the running for many years now. Could this be her year? She impressed punters with a series of serious health problems in late 2005, which puts her in a strong position going into her 81st year. Also ever-present with Thatcher is the possiblilty of a sudden violent murder.
Pete Docherty
Drug-addled, alcoholic, chain smoking Pete Docherty turns 27 in 2006, which is notable for being the traditional age of rockstar deaths - Jimi Hendrix springs to mind. Will he attend an all-weekend party, which sparks off a reunion with Kate Moss that in turn sparks off a celebratory bender lasting 112 hours, culminating in Pete being found upside down in a tent in Hampstead, choked on his own vomit? Quite possibly.
Wayne Rooney
He won't survive another away match against Everton.
Paul Macartney
It would be sad to lose one of popular music's greatest ever talents, but then again, would would also be kind of perversely ironic if Paul meets his maker on the day before he finally does turn 64. Incidentally, that rhymes, and could have been written by John Lennon. Spooky, eh? Cor, this article writes itself.
Sir Alex Ferguson
The new year could well see a certain Scot in a high pressure job suffer a series of heart attacks, brought about by a certain American with sideburns. But that won't finish him off! David Beckham will be spotted flying into Manchester, and Roy Keane will coem down on the train. The next morning, Fergie will be discovered in Maine Road Stadium, tied up with a selection of Man U kits from the past ten years and stud marks in his face.
Ariel Sharon
Just hurry up and die, you warmongering axe-wound. Bookie's favourite.
Margaret Thatcher
A hot contender, has been in the running for many years now. Could this be her year? She impressed punters with a series of serious health problems in late 2005, which puts her in a strong position going into her 81st year. Also ever-present with Thatcher is the possiblilty of a sudden violent murder.
Pete Docherty
Drug-addled, alcoholic, chain smoking Pete Docherty turns 27 in 2006, which is notable for being the traditional age of rockstar deaths - Jimi Hendrix springs to mind. Will he attend an all-weekend party, which sparks off a reunion with Kate Moss that in turn sparks off a celebratory bender lasting 112 hours, culminating in Pete being found upside down in a tent in Hampstead, choked on his own vomit? Quite possibly.
Wayne Rooney
He won't survive another away match against Everton.
Paul Macartney
It would be sad to lose one of popular music's greatest ever talents, but then again, would would also be kind of perversely ironic if Paul meets his maker on the day before he finally does turn 64. Incidentally, that rhymes, and could have been written by John Lennon. Spooky, eh? Cor, this article writes itself.
Sir Alex Ferguson
The new year could well see a certain Scot in a high pressure job suffer a series of heart attacks, brought about by a certain American with sideburns. But that won't finish him off! David Beckham will be spotted flying into Manchester, and Roy Keane will coem down on the train. The next morning, Fergie will be discovered in Maine Road Stadium, tied up with a selection of Man U kits from the past ten years and stud marks in his face.
Ariel Sharon
Just hurry up and die, you warmongering axe-wound. Bookie's favourite.