Zhyl
24-01-2006, 05:21 PM
What’s on your mind right now? No, not that; the other thing. Yup, I thought so, Red. Lots of it in the studio and on paper. So what is red and why is it so great? Besides being a personal favourite colour of lippy. I have some really great reasons which may make you giggle like schoolgirls (well I did anyway, but I’m not sure if that counts). This is an ancient problem, yes a lot like that half full/empty thing, but the possibilities are so amazingly endless that I’m surprised nobody thought of this before.
Red is good for several reasons. Number one*: red is the colour of McDonalds and Coca Cola. All this talk is making me hungry. Hungry for what? I will reveal in time. And its all because of the colour red! Surely that alone is good enough reason? Well its not. Just in case you haven’t realised, Coke is not red, it is brown but they put in red cups to fool us into thinking its red. They win again hey? So really red isn’t cool because of the burger, the burger is good because of it. (Fine, I only said this because I wanted some chips).
**Next, Communism. It ruled Russia for ages and nobody noticed. They were red I think. But they were Russian and Russians are white. But they call themselves red. Liars. And then the Chinese stole the idea, and the nukes, and called themselves red. But we still said they were yellow. Not because they didn’t eat the 9 day cheese, but because they are chinese. So maybe Red Indians are the only red ones. But red did overthrow the Tsar and bring freedom to the people. Not to mention all those cool Che Guevara T-Shirts***. So red benefited the world.
After discussing this at great lengths with my comrades, I can also conclude that red is the best flavour of sock. This was a unanimous vote and is thus undeniable. I’m not actually sure whether they were listening or not though. Those naked ladies did look tempting…
Some might say that it is also the colour of baked beans****, but these people were burned at the stake on Saturday for blasphemy. But red is an evil colour. Why? Who decided that angry people should get hot (no, not hot like lady hot) and go red, fire is red (allegedly), the hot tap is red even though it has nothing to do with anything, and why is good blue and evil red? I researched this and the answer is simple. God made the world and everything, including red. But red didn’t invite blue to his stag night so blue got all upset- and lets face it blue is a very depressing colour- and asked god to do something about it. Now God being like a teacher took the side of the wimp and told red to be the symbol of evil. I suppose this actually makes it quite cool. So red is good.
Blood is red, so it must be on your mind. Atoms I am told have a slight reddish tinge which is acceptable I suppose for something so small. Talking of small things, the average IQ. Bricks are red, so I suppose brick red was the next logical step. And at the same time bricks hold concrete together, smash windows well and leave nice dents on peoples heads.
POKAHHHHHHH!!! This is self explanatory.
Well to conclude, I will do a short demonstration on the power of red.
Note: I have pictures, but no idea how to use em. (Sad child)
That’s Better.
* Please refrain from saying “ha ha, he said number 1!” it is not funny and very immature.
** I did not say “number 2” because of you, happy?!
*** My t-shirts are more imaginative.
**** You thought this would be about baked beans didn’t you? For shame.
Red is good for several reasons. Number one*: red is the colour of McDonalds and Coca Cola. All this talk is making me hungry. Hungry for what? I will reveal in time. And its all because of the colour red! Surely that alone is good enough reason? Well its not. Just in case you haven’t realised, Coke is not red, it is brown but they put in red cups to fool us into thinking its red. They win again hey? So really red isn’t cool because of the burger, the burger is good because of it. (Fine, I only said this because I wanted some chips).
**Next, Communism. It ruled Russia for ages and nobody noticed. They were red I think. But they were Russian and Russians are white. But they call themselves red. Liars. And then the Chinese stole the idea, and the nukes, and called themselves red. But we still said they were yellow. Not because they didn’t eat the 9 day cheese, but because they are chinese. So maybe Red Indians are the only red ones. But red did overthrow the Tsar and bring freedom to the people. Not to mention all those cool Che Guevara T-Shirts***. So red benefited the world.
After discussing this at great lengths with my comrades, I can also conclude that red is the best flavour of sock. This was a unanimous vote and is thus undeniable. I’m not actually sure whether they were listening or not though. Those naked ladies did look tempting…
Some might say that it is also the colour of baked beans****, but these people were burned at the stake on Saturday for blasphemy. But red is an evil colour. Why? Who decided that angry people should get hot (no, not hot like lady hot) and go red, fire is red (allegedly), the hot tap is red even though it has nothing to do with anything, and why is good blue and evil red? I researched this and the answer is simple. God made the world and everything, including red. But red didn’t invite blue to his stag night so blue got all upset- and lets face it blue is a very depressing colour- and asked god to do something about it. Now God being like a teacher took the side of the wimp and told red to be the symbol of evil. I suppose this actually makes it quite cool. So red is good.
Blood is red, so it must be on your mind. Atoms I am told have a slight reddish tinge which is acceptable I suppose for something so small. Talking of small things, the average IQ. Bricks are red, so I suppose brick red was the next logical step. And at the same time bricks hold concrete together, smash windows well and leave nice dents on peoples heads.
POKAHHHHHHH!!! This is self explanatory.
Well to conclude, I will do a short demonstration on the power of red.
Note: I have pictures, but no idea how to use em. (Sad child)
That’s Better.
* Please refrain from saying “ha ha, he said number 1!” it is not funny and very immature.
** I did not say “number 2” because of you, happy?!
*** My t-shirts are more imaginative.
**** You thought this would be about baked beans didn’t you? For shame.