Zhyl
25-01-2006, 04:37 PM
I look at the world around me and I see so much injustice, such a lack of love that it almost makes me cry. But what makes it worse is knowing that I could do something about this violation to nature. If you haven’t realised, I am talking about Spatulas.
Spatulas have been mistreated, bullied and outcast from society. They have been called derogatory terms such as flippers, fish slices and “that thing you prod your pancakes with”. Honestly, I believe that we can have no future if we don’t treat our cooking implements with care.
So what can YOU do to help? Take it to the pub, introduce him to your friends and even encourage him to ask other utensils out. It doesn’t take much to make a difference to someone’s life. Hopefully we can bring the spatula suicide rate down.
Naturally, don’t let him play with knives. This is dangerous and could start influencing him towards knife crime. Those knives have a bad reputation and could put the peer pressure on at any moment.
But if you find that this may be a burden, you can adopt a spatula for just £5 a day. This will ensure the safety of one but will assist in the rescue and re-habilitation of others. All these spatulas want is some love (and maybe some food to flip). If you find £5 too much, then go to TESCO and buy one. They make ideal Christmas presents to loved ones. Can you imagine the smiles on their faces when they open up and find a friend of their very own?
Nah, me neither. What’s more likely to happen is the silent treatment or a lecture on how you never take her out anymore. But remember, A spatula is for bacon, not just for pancakes. Most importantly, spatulas are people too.
Call 999 for more details*.
*This is just a joke, don’t call 999.
Spatulas have been mistreated, bullied and outcast from society. They have been called derogatory terms such as flippers, fish slices and “that thing you prod your pancakes with”. Honestly, I believe that we can have no future if we don’t treat our cooking implements with care.
So what can YOU do to help? Take it to the pub, introduce him to your friends and even encourage him to ask other utensils out. It doesn’t take much to make a difference to someone’s life. Hopefully we can bring the spatula suicide rate down.
Naturally, don’t let him play with knives. This is dangerous and could start influencing him towards knife crime. Those knives have a bad reputation and could put the peer pressure on at any moment.
But if you find that this may be a burden, you can adopt a spatula for just £5 a day. This will ensure the safety of one but will assist in the rescue and re-habilitation of others. All these spatulas want is some love (and maybe some food to flip). If you find £5 too much, then go to TESCO and buy one. They make ideal Christmas presents to loved ones. Can you imagine the smiles on their faces when they open up and find a friend of their very own?
Nah, me neither. What’s more likely to happen is the silent treatment or a lecture on how you never take her out anymore. But remember, A spatula is for bacon, not just for pancakes. Most importantly, spatulas are people too.
Call 999 for more details*.
*This is just a joke, don’t call 999.