da-geezers lightgun article, a great example of a good article!

[da-geezer]

This is a great example of a good article with pics, geez does not want this to be considered for the main site but I think it serves as a good example of what you may want to aspire to

Aim

To find the best pose/stance/aim used to playing modern home lightgun games and post it on teh intarwebs !! Each stance will be merited on ease of stance, fun factor, cool factor, luck required, and effectiveness

Preamble

How do lightguns work? I would elaborate, but I can't be arsed. Go Team Wiki! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightgun)

Apparatus

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/equip/padgun.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/equip/padgunl.jpg)

1x NES Controller
2x Lightguns


http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/equip/cart.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/equip/cartl.jpg)

1x Duck Hunt gamepak


http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/equip/tvnes.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/equip/tvnesl.jpg)

1x Widescreen TV
1x Nintendo Entertainment System
1x idiot (not shown)

[da-geezer]

Results

Alrighty, time to move on to the hi-tech experiment. All images are click-for-big:

The normal stance:

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/std.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/stdl.jpg)

This is the normal stance. Stand on your feet, point the gun at the baddie and pull the trigger. Does the job, but after about twenty minutes it's fun factor is on par with drowning. Nice and easy to pick off the ducks, and you've got no-one to blame if you end up missing your target.

Ease of stance: 8/10
Fun factor: 1/10
Cool factor: 2/10
Luck required: 4/10
Effectiveness: 8/10
Ladies pulled: 0


The John Woo stance:

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/woo.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/wool.jpg)

It's time for double the fun! We've all seen them in the action films, one man on a mad mission with a gun in each hand, seemingly able to aim independantly at the same time. Looks cool as fuck, and probably costs them a bomb in spent ammunition and collateral damage. Here we've got hollywood's finest Welshman to kick some ass using two lightguns, one of which couldn't possibly be connected as one was from an old Atari.

Nice and easy to keep your balance, fantastic fun pulling two triggers rather than one though I looked like a tosser holding two mismatched lightguns. Seeing as you tend to pull the trigger as many times as you can to really make it worth it, you're not really aiming. So, in this instance, no ducks were harmed in the making of this result; though if we had infinite ammo then nothing would escape the hail of lead... errr, photons :o. Still, what an awesome constipated Max Payne face.

Ease of stance: 7/10
Fun factor: 8/10
Cool factor: 3/10
Luck required: 8/10
Effectiveness: 0/10
Ladies pulled: 0


The French stance:

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/french.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/frenchl.jpg)

For those who are a little too scared to stand up to the enemy, this one's for you. Hiding behind an object so you can't see the computer nasties and firing away is monotonous but safe. A cracking tactic for games like Time Crisis, but has the downside of wasting a quid in the machine to watch a timer tick away.

I quite enjoyed this one actually, while I wildly fired at a few passing ducks, I was enjoying reading a months-old copy of Nuts. "Turtling" doesn't look cool in front of your mates, it's on par with holding the "block" button constantly in Street Fighter II and kicking out once every half hour. Fuck knows what I was shooting too; if humans were susceptable to light-bullets, then I think I might have just claimed the "Welsh bloke gone postal of the year" award.

Ease of stance: 8/10
Fun factor: 9/10
Cool factor: 0/10
Luck required: 10/10
Effectiveness: 0/10
Ladies pulled: 0


The 2pac stance:

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/2pac.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/2pacl.jpg)

Fearing retribution for this pop at drive-by victim 2pac, I took the careful precaution of wearing a bulletproof vest. And of course, by "bulletproof" I actually mean "nylon". Couple this with a makeshift bandanna and I'm totally ghetto dawg, ain't nobody gunna mess in dis hizzle, or bitch gunna get a cap in dat ass, yo. Shots were fired using an outstretched arm, a wrist rotated to ninety degrees, and pointing the lightgun at somewhere near the target.

This is cracking fun, walkin' around like I'm proper gansta was excellent fun, but unfortunatley this doesn't show in the photos. Looks pretty darned cool, and managed to get a few dead ducks out of it too. Arm ached after a while though!

Ease of stance: 5/10
Fun factor: 7/10
Cool factor: 6/10
Luck required: 4/10
Effectiveness: 6/10
Ladies pulled: 0


The Kurt Cobain stance:

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/kurt.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/kurtl.jpg)

I can hear the grunge kids gasping already; but bottom line: Kurt still holds a 100% hit ratio using this technique. By sitting on my jacksie and slightly adjusting the angle of the gun, I aimed to recreate the late singer's skills. This stance was darned comfy, even if my jaw did ache after a while. Pity I couldn't hit shit, as I happened to forget about the term lightgun. Kurt Cobain would have been shit at Duck Hunt.

Ease of stance: 10/10
Fun factor: 4/10
Cool factor: 2/10
Luck required: 11/10
Effectiveness: 0/10
Ladies pulled: 0


The show-off stance:

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/fancy.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/fancyl.jpg)

Fuelled by boredom/betting/creativity/alcohol, we've all played games the way we're not supposed to; whether it's getting bored of a racing game, turning around and driving head on into cars... or "accidentally" shooting your teammate in the head in a CounterStrike session. There's only so much you can do with Duck Hunt, and the dance contest encouraged me to experiment.

Naturally, when you start showboating, you're not doing things the easy way, so getting into some poses in time for the camera to go off took its toll on my Bradd Pitt-spec body. It was a good laugh though, and some of the poor ducks that got annihilated are probably crying tears of humiliation. It's mostly based on luck, but it's hella fun :D

Ease of stance: 2/10
Fun factor: 8/10
Cool factor: 9/10
Luck required: 6/10
Effectiveness: 5/10
Ladies pulled: 0


The 10-year-old sniper stance:

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/snipe.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/action/snipel.jpg)

The world's worst-kept-secret cheat as exploited every day by lightgun users under the age of ten. Sit point blank at the screen and track the target before pulling the trigger for a guranteed kill. Rinse, wash, repeat. As piss easy as it was, I found myself wanting to do something more interesting, like count the number of vowels in my DVD titles. It does the job, it gets boring, it ruins the game. I'll also be seeing things in tones of green, blue and brown for the next few hours.

Ease of stance: 6/10
Fun factor: 0/10
Cool factor: 1/10
Luck required: 0/10
Effectiveness: 10/10
Ladies pulled: 0


Conclusion

Don't believe the hype; standing with your back straight, both arms outstretched, and looking down the barrell is deffo the way to go. As much as you want to do diving rolls, fire mid-somersault, or emulate your favourite rockstar; the normal stance is the one to beat. Also worth of note is that lightgun games don't seem to impress the ladies. If I were to repeat the test again, I'd use a better piece of kit than some 8-bit dinosaur, I'd try out some force feedback guns, I'd stop looking like a bellend in my photos, and I'd wear more cult shirts. Any questions? Any comments? Any abuse? Stick 'em here.

[albie_123]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to da-geezer again.

That is fucking awesome. You win sooo hard, even Dick Cheney should put his gun down and take your advice.

[Flava Dave]

That is fucking awesome. You win sooo hard, even Dick Cheney should put his gun down and take your advice.


What he said.

The Kurt Cobain stance made me do laughy tears.

[crazyMLC]

thats funny and cool! infact i also have duck hunt and i enjoy doing the actual sniper stance :ninja: but through many days of liers and bad story telling its "The 10-year-old sniper stance"

and on the show-off stance...is thats a mountain dew on the desk? GIMME, GIMME!

and i see you have a good row of games there... :twisted:

[Redux]

~*posting in a legendary thread*~

[crazyMLC]

to Redux any his ability to post in legendary threads!
(i love eating string :ninja: *laugh*)

[da-geezer]

heh; I was wondering whether the whole Kurt Cobain thing was a little distasteful :D

Nah that ain't no Mountain Dew I'm afraid, that's just a bottle of sparkling water. AndI very rarely play most of those games, but they're budget games so don't really have a high resale value. There's a big chunk of my id Software collection in view though :D

Cheers for the positive comments people!

[Youlikeyams?]

That was the most unexpected rambling I've ever come across, but I loved it - plusses for j00!

[Splush]

Cobain stance made me crack up :D

[Flava Dave]

Maybe (just an idea, like) you could get a mod to stick this in the "Hay Guys I don't wrote an artickle" forum. Ok so maybe I don't know the actual name of that forum, but aren't the things on there considered for the main weebl-stuff page?

[Splush]

Good idea, if Geezer wants it on the frontpage I'll check it with Weebl. I haven't written an article in approximately a million years and Weebl is probably cross with me, so this might stave off his nagging.

[D.F]

I love the way you don't get any ladies:P

[Twatybollocks]

You should be in the next Die hard with those l33t gun skills. Best thread ever! Well, best one in a long time anyway! Plussage!

[crazyMLC]

that ain't no Mountain Dew I'm afraid, that's just a bottle of sparkling water.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :nana: :mush2: :eek:

AndI very rarely play most of those games

may i know what games those are :ninja: lol

[the last sheika]

Neat. +d in a minute...
You missed out mine, though: non-10 year old sniper. Sit as far away as the wire allows, and put your eye up to the aiming bit of the gun. Doesn't work very well on those guns that do the big recoil boom move back hurty ow i'm blind glaven thing.

[da-geezer]

may i know what games those are :ninja: lol

Aye g'wan, I'm doing bugger all else apart from drinking beer and watching the Mario demo play over and over, so why not. Click here (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/dvd.jpg) and here (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/games.jpg) and also here (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/nxtnes.jpg) to see my games.

Would I leave this post at that? Hell no, I'm gonna whore my id Software collection. The eager eyed amongst you have noticed my domain name; I only bought it to develop a site showing them all off, but beer and laziness have stopped me this far.

If you're not a geek, skip to the next post now. Yes, now. Clicky for big!

Doom (right-to-left, items in parentheses are shown twice)

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doomsmallth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doomsmall.jpg) http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doombigth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doombig.jpg)

Back row
ID Anthology - one of only 10k made; Doom Trilogy - D1, D2, Master Levels; Doom - Thy Flesh Consumed; Doom II - PC 3.5"; Doom II - PC CD; Doom II - Mac CD; Doom II Screen Saver - PC 3.5"; (Doom II Screen Saver - PC CD); (Doom II Strategy Guide); (Final Doom - PC CD); (Doom - 3DO); (Doom - PC 3.5"); (Doom Shareware); (Doom - Saturn); (Doom CE - PC CD); (Doom - Jaguar); Doom - Japanese SNES; Doom - SNES; Doom - US 32X; Doom - 32X; Doom 64 - N64; Doom3 - PC CD

Front Row
(Master Levels - PC CD); (Doom - Playstation); Final Doom - Playstation
Doom - US SNES special ed cartidge; Doom: Hell On Earth first edition book; Doom - Second edition books


Quake + others (right-to-left, items in parentheses are shown twice)

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/wolfyth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/wolfy.jpg) http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakebigth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakebig.jpg)

Quake The Offering - Q1, Q1MP1, Q1MP2; Quake II Quad Damage - Q2, Q2MP1, Q2MP2, Q2NP1; Quake - PC CD, Quake: Scourge of Armagon - PC CD; Quake: Dissolution of Eternity - PC CD; Quake II Strategy Guide; Quake II: Extremeties; Quake III Arena - PC CD tin case; Quake III Arena - PC CD; Quake III Team Arena - PC CD; Quake III Strategy Guide; (Quake - Sega Saturn); (Quake III Arena - PC CD); (Quake III Revolution - PS2); Quake Shareware - PC CD; Quake II - PS1; Quake III Arena - Dreamcast; Commander Keen - Gameboy Colour; Return to Castle Wolfenstein GoTY - PC CD; Return to Castle Wolfenstein - PC CD tin case; Spear Of Destiny - PC CD; Spear of Destiny - Shiny PC-CD; Wolfenstein 3D - Macintosh


John Romero's shiz and more (right-to-left, items in parentheses are shown twice)

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/otherth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/other.jpg) http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakefigth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakefig.jpg)

Three Quake II action figurines; Towers of Terror: Hexen, Hexen MP1, Heretic - PC CD; (Hexen II Strategy Guide); (Hexen - PC); Daikatana - PC CD; Hexen - Saturn; Daikatana - N64; Daikatana - PC CD; Hexen - Japanese Saturn; Hexen PS1.


How very unintersting for you all, but at least someone knows of my rather odd collection :D

You missed out mine, though: non-10 year old sniper.

Ahhh I was doing that earlier, just hurt my eyes after a while though. I haven't got any other lightgun games for the NES either :(

[edit] Just for albie: Half Life, Op-For, BlueShift and Gunman Chronicles aren't shown :P
[edit] And mebbe for the last sheika: nah it's just a quidder mini-CD player >: )


Onwards with HARDCORE LIGHTGUN DISCUSSION!!!!!1

[albie_123]

Needs more Half-life.

[the last sheika]

Y'know, either that box next to your TV contains a Nintendo revolution or I'm going insane because of the wait for one...

[Paul12345]

"You must spread some rep..." :(
Awesome report anyway, made me literally lol in a few places.

[Nocashvalue]

Win.

[crazyMLC]

Aye g'wan, I'm doing bugger all else apart from drinking beer and watching the Mario demo play over and over, so why not. Click here (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/dvd.jpg) and here (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/games.jpg) and also here (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/nxtnes.jpg) to see my games.

Would I leave this post at that? Hell no, I'm gonna whore my id Software collection. The eager eyed amongst you have noticed my domain name; I only bought it to develop a site showing them all off, but beer and laziness have stopped me this far.

If you're not a geek, skip to the next post now. Yes, now. Clicky for big!

Doom (right-to-left, items in parentheses are shown twice)

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doomsmallth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doomsmall.jpg) http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doombigth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/doombig.jpg)

Back row
ID Anthology - one of only 10k made; Doom Trilogy - D1, D2, Master Levels; Doom - Thy Flesh Consumed; Doom II - PC 3.5"; Doom II - PC CD; Doom II - Mac CD; Doom II Screen Saver - PC 3.5"; (Doom II Screen Saver - PC CD); (Doom II Strategy Guide); (Final Doom - PC CD); (Doom - 3DO); (Doom - PC 3.5"); (Doom Shareware); (Doom - Saturn); (Doom CE - PC CD); (Doom - Jaguar); Doom - Japanese SNES; Doom - SNES; Doom - US 32X; Doom - 32X; Doom 64 - N64; Doom3 - PC CD

Front Row
(Master Levels - PC CD); (Doom - Playstation); Final Doom - Playstation
Doom - US SNES special ed cartidge; Doom: Hell On Earth first edition book; Doom - Second edition books


Quake + others (right-to-left, items in parentheses are shown twice)

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/wolfyth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/wolfy.jpg) http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakebigth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakebig.jpg)

Quake The Offering - Q1, Q1MP1, Q1MP2; Quake II Quad Damage - Q2, Q2MP1, Q2MP2, Q2NP1; Quake - PC CD, Quake: Scourge of Armagon - PC CD; Quake: Dissolution of Eternity - PC CD; Quake II Strategy Guide; Quake II: Extremeties; Quake III Arena - PC CD tin case; Quake III Arena - PC CD; Quake III Team Arena - PC CD; Quake III Strategy Guide; (Quake - Sega Saturn); (Quake III Arena - PC CD); (Quake III Revolution - PS2); Quake Shareware - PC CD; Quake II - PS1; Quake III Arena - Dreamcast; Commander Keen - Gameboy Colour; Return to Castle Wolfenstein GoTY - PC CD; Return to Castle Wolfenstein - PC CD tin case; Spear Of Destiny - PC CD; Spear of Destiny - Shiny PC-CD; Wolfenstein 3D - Macintosh


John Romero's shiz and more (right-to-left, items in parentheses are shown twice)

http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/otherth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/other.jpg) http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakefigth.jpg (http://www.id-vault.net/hosted/weebl/lightgun/games/quakefig.jpg)

Three Quake II action figurines; Towers of Terror: Hexen, Hexen MP1, Heretic - PC CD; (Hexen II Strategy Guide); (Hexen - PC); Daikatana - PC CD; Hexen - Saturn; Daikatana - N64; Daikatana - PC CD; Hexen - Japanese Saturn; Hexen PS1.


How very unintersting for you all, but at least someone knows of my rather odd collection :D



Ahhh I was doing that earlier, just hurt my eyes after a while though. I haven't got any other lightgun games for the NES either :(

[edit] Just for albie: Half Life, Op-For, BlueShift and Gunman Chronicles aren't shown :P
[edit] And mebbe for the last sheika: nah it's just a quidder mini-CD player >: )


Onwards with HARDCORE LIGHTGUN DISCUSSION!!!!!1
i see you are very proud of your games.... it needs more preorders of spore
and i need to find out what in the world quake is.

Edit: so i see.

[Splush]

Do you have versions of Id software games for systems that you don't own? I think that would be a pretty good measure of crazyness.

[da-geezer]

I think that would be a pretty good measure of crazyness.

I do actually, I bought Q3 on the PS2 even though I don't have a PS2... though I went one step further and bought consoles specifically to play versions of Doom and Quake on. I bought a SNES to play Doom, a GBC to play Keen, and a Saturn to play Doom and Quake (and admittedly Sega Touring Car Championship). I had to hijack my mate's N64 to play Doom 64 and Daikatana 64 as well heh...

I'm still after a Jaguar, 32X and a 3DO; though I bid on the latter the other day for £21... in the last fifteen minutes it rocketed to £102 - but seeing as they're fairly old it's not really a huge problem shelling out for consoles.

I've got Daikatana posters which were initially at it's E3 showing too :o

</id obsessive>

[Youlikeyams?]

Y'know, either that box next to your TV contains a Nintendo revolution or I'm going insane because of the wait for one...

I have a DVD player that looks like a Revolution...
http://img83.imageshack.us/img83/1144/dvdplayer21ja.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[/offtopic]

[Martinus]

I plussed you for major laugh-age, I would plus you again for owning a Dreamcast but alas I cannot.

[matt bird]

what more can be said?

except lololol

[Spoo]

made a copy of this fab thread and sent it to the article submission forum.

[Ste150]

Spoo, now geezer sounds like an ego-maniac.

Still, brilliant :)

[katt]

ive had an awful lot of wine but are you actually playing DUCKHUNT

wow that takes me back

[flamelitface]

Spoo, now geezer sounds like an ego-maniac.

Still, brilliant :)

Yeah, I didn't enjoy the article at first, thinking, "This guys a bit up himself". But yes it was good article, and a bit more humble than I first thought.