Threesomes

[Roxsie]

Following on from the offtopicness in Am i a bad person.

Threesomes - would you? have you? why? are they wrong?

also other "unusual sexual practices" which are becoming mainstream.

[Smartie]

I think my short answer is no - as I'd hate to have to compete with someone else (clearly better looking with a better bod no doubt)

Long answer: I'd never try a threesome - I believe in the sanctity of being wholely committed and faithful to my partner, thus engaging in a threesome would, in my eyes, render me/them unfaithful.
I also fail to see the attraction of it all. At the end of the day, it's being given permission to shag someone else with your/their other half there too - And that's just a little bit ick. So ultimately what is gained from it?

As for other "unusual" practises, they're only unusual if you class them as so!
(and we cannot class anal in the same category as bestiality, as anal is the type of sex, whereas bestiality is the object of the sex).

And yes, I like anal, hate oral, and simply don't understand S&M and/or pain.

[Lozzie Stardust]

I don't think they are wrong, as long as it's with consenting adults and safe.

I probably would if I wasn't in a long term relationship, but it often all ends up with someone getting hurt from what I've heard.

I'm against bestiality, necrophilia and pedophilia as they all defy the consenting adults and (normally) safe issue.

Water sports I feel are a matter of taste, wouldn't do it myself, but if that what floats your boat *schoff*

Pearl necklaces, tried but never again >.>

[Splush]

While they aren't inherently wrong, I can't see much chance of them ending up in anything other than emotional turmoil for at least one participant. This wouldn't matter if you didn't know the other people involved, but having a threesome with the sort of people who have threesomes with strangers opens up a whole new set of problems.

So I'd tend to steer clear, but I doubt the chance is going to come up any time soon so it's fine.

[Roxsie]

So would you disagree with swinging?

[Meadow]

They're a lot like Communism - pretty good on paper but rarely work well in reality.

(<3 QC)

[Katie_D]

Slightly offtopic...Me and The Pudding were watching a program on channel four the other night, and came to the conclusion that very few swingers (especially the older ones) actually enjoy it, and basically do it as a way to stay young. I personally would never, ever take part in swinging, as I believe in monogamy and fail to see what is to gain from having many sexual partners.

Fair enough, if you're not in a serious relationship and you're looking for the experience and chance to experience different lovers, then go for it. I don't see how you can be happy in a relationship, and fully satisfied sexually, then go and sleep with another person, inviting them into your intimate relationship. The intimacy is removed and shared with another person and it must be incredibly difficult to just walk away from this.

Obviously, I'm not a fan of threesomes either. I think I have issues, and I honestly don't think I could handle a sexual relationship with two other people at the same time. I find it demoralising, I would worry about my partner finding the other woman more attractive, and I would worry about any possible repercussions.

Perhaps I'm just not experienced enough to appreciate the sexual freedom having a threesome involves. Or, perhaps I'm one of the very few people left who doesn't use sex as a way to prove to myself that I'm open minded and comfortable with my sexuality.

[evan223]

Well it depends I would consider a threesome if i was in a long time relationship and me and my partner both agreed for it to spicen things up abit, but its a lads fantasy isn't it having sex with two other women and then watching your lover do stuff to another women, but thats all it is a fantasy and once you have lived that fantasy then it wouldn't be as fun the next time or not live upto expectations the first time. So i'd have to say im on the border line, if you think it will help then go for it but if its just a thing to try out then don't

i think i've confused myself

[Roxsie]

If its a lads fantasy why did friends have Ross go and make a sandwich becuase he was bored of watching?

[evan223]

1) because its a TV show
and 2) Its Ross only dinosours turn him on

[Roxsie]

not true - rachel and princess leia do too.

[evan223]

Princess leia is hot, don't like her hair tho and so is rachel a three some with them would be great. :rolleyes:

Well ok not all lads fantasy is a threesome but for alot of lads it is.

[SPACKlick]

Brief Answer since i'm busy

As i said in the "am i a bad person thread. There's nothing ineherently wrong with them as long as the participants are all willing and emotionally stable enough, however it can lead to huge emotional problems and i personally would be too stressed byt the possible repercussions to enjoy it.

As for other sexual practices

Anal, not for me but nothing inherently wrong (a recently changed viewpoint). There is an appeal to it in thought, sometimes, but i don't find it turns me on.

Bestiality - cruelty inherent wrongness

Bestiphillia-some evidence that animals can form loving, physical, cross-species relationships. I don't see that it's wrong IF the animal can consent but a bit freaky

Paedophillia - Wrong Wrong Wrong

Watersports - don't see the appeal but ok...
Bukkake - see above

scat - similar to above but i really find it harder to see the appeal

rape - wrong wrong wrong

domination - see the appeal and consenting partners or consenting strangers should feel free to enjoy it.

Roleplay - EVERBODY should try roleplay at one point or another.

that wasn't that brief... :rolleyes:

[cyber_turnip]

1) because its a TV show
and 2) Its Ross only dinosours turn him on

3) They were making fun of just how long they did it for to emphasise how she was a lesbian and make it very obvious to Ross despite him not picking up on it for comedic reasons.

[Nicodemus]

My wife (yes, wife) and I have had a couple of threesomes since we've been married.

We had ground rules that were established beforehand and respected during. A great time was had by all, and nothing negative came of the experience after we got our boundaries set. In fact, it brought us closer because it was something we had experimented with and enjoyed together. The other people knew from the very beginning that there was no (and had no intention of) breaking us up. We mutually chose the third party, and had no problems with jealousy. I certainly wouldn't recommend it if you tend to be the jealous type. It's just that in our relationship, my wife and I were (and are) both very sure that no matter what happened with the third person, we would always be together. That though never waivered, and so was never an issue.

I have known people involved in a 3-way MARRIAGE and were happy as could be.

It's a matter of personality and compatibility. It's a highly personal matter for which there is no clear-cut answer. It all depends on the people involved.

[lynzog]

Agreed. Definatley a personal thing, also I would say on an individual basis. I have done in the past, a couple of times with "buddies", however, when I was with my ex I didn't fancy doing it because I was to emotionally attatched to us as a couple and not a threesome.

Swinging and threesomes aren't wrong, it's who your doing it with that can be. (Eg. Your brother and his dog or something)

Either way, I have done and will do, after all three pairs of hands are better than one :)

[Smartie]

Playing the devils advocate that I am I will pose this long time question:

Women: Would you prefer a threesome with two men, or another man and a woman (or do you not mind)

Men:Would you prefer a threesome with two women, or another man and a woman (or do you not mind)

Lets face it, the likelyhood is that most men are going to want the two women option, because there is that whole 'gay' issue going on otherwise.

I've had this discussion many times before, and the guys almost always say they would not have a threesome where another man was involved. It's almost always the women who compromise and end up in a woman-man-woman sandwich, although I'm sure they'd be lovind DP.

[cutmanmike]

Hmm well this is quite a different subject from chavs and horror films!

Err well, to be honest I think this is just a question of "are you a swinger or not" because for lovers there would be no chance for it would involve another person which in many cases could ruin the relationship(of course if you're in one, regardless if your partner is involved in the threesome or not).

Myself? Well i'm in a relationship at the moment so I wouldn't even think twice about it now so the answer would be No. Of course even if I wasn't I don't think i'd have the nerves to have sex infront of another, let alone with the other person as well.

What a dirty subject! Might I ask what caused you to make such a thread? (not complaining)

EDIT: Nevermind, just found that other thread :notworthy

[mini_ninja_pir8]

Hmm. A threesome eh? Well, to be honest, I would never engage in a threesome, whether I was in a relationship or not. But, by all means, that doesn't mean to say I don't oppose the idea. If someone wants a threesome, then good on them, I say. Just don't ask me to take part.

[Nicodemus]

Playing the devils advocate that I am I will pose this long time question:

Women: Would you prefer a threesome with two men, or another man and a woman (or do you not mind)

Men:Would you prefer a threesome with two women, or another man and a woman (or do you not mind)

Lets face it, the likelyhood is that most men are going to want the two women option, because there is that whole 'gay' issue going on otherwise.

I've had this discussion many times before, and the guys almost always say they would not have a threesome where another man was involved. It's almost always the women who compromise and end up in a woman-man-woman sandwich, although I'm sure they'd be lovind DP.

I don't like to classify my sexuality. If I HAD to, I'd say I was "straight but VERY open-minded." If we met the right guy, I wouldn't reject the idea out of hand.

However, the point is moot in my situation because my wife has no interest in having another guy. She's bisexual (label used for reason of clarity only), and says she only wants one guy: me.

[cutmanmike]

Hmm. Nicodemus I just read your other post (properly O-)) and I find this rather... Amazing. I don't see how I could cope in a threesome with my girlfiend and another guy/girl. If there was a guy involved I couldn't help but think he would want more out of it (due to certain things). If it was a girl I couldn't help but think my girlfriend would think I wanted more out of the girl, or she was better or something.

Could I ask a few things? You don't have to answer, i'm just being curious.

When you had these threesomes with your wife, was the other person a guy or a girl? Or have you had both?

Also how old were you when these occoured?

[Nicodemus]

Well, read my above post to know the answer to your first question.

And we were 24-25.

The reasons that you have mentioned that you cannot cope with a threesome are your own doing. You are assuming what other people are going to want when you cannot possibly know. This is why communication is absolutely paramount, and the selection process is very important. We make it clear to the other person that we are not going to be leaving each other, and this is purely for fun. There will be nothing more than that with either of us individually.

[cutmanmike]

Ah true true. However, I can't have sex and class it as "fun". Therefore a threesome would be a bad idea for me.

[Nicodemus]

Heh. To us, there is a difference between having sex and making love. We can separate the physical aspect from the mental, and we don't make love with a third partner. We make love only with each other. :)

Also, please don't confuse my wording to mean that we have no connection at all with the third party. As I said, our selection process is very careful, and we have had a very close friendship with our "thirds." We don't just grab random girls out of the club or anything like that. My wife is especially very particular about whom she chooses.

Sure, sex can complicate things... if you let it. It doesn't HAVE to, people make that choice. We choose not to let it.

[cutmanmike]

Mmm to me it's just one thing. Making love, but if you class it as "just sex" it's abusing the feature.

To me anyway :mushroom:

[Nicodemus]

Abusing the feature? Excuse me if I find the insuation that I abuse sex a bit insulting...

Dolphins and humans have sex for fun. It's in our nature. That's why we can become excited just looking at someone we don't even know.

I personally believe that people choose to place too high an importance on the emotional ramifications of sex. They invest so much into it that they let it control that entire aspect of their life. If you're being smart, safe, and selective about it, then why deny yourself that pleasure in the name of the keeping sex "sacred?"

Now, I am by NO means saying that you should just go out and have sex with just anyone anywhere, so don't even bother calling me a proponent of casual, empty sex (I can hear people going, "OHMYGOD he's a freaking slut and wants everyone to be sluts and ignore the emotional aspect of sex! It's how we keep our kids from having sex until they're ready!!!" I'm not advocating that at all. What I'm saying is that there IS a time and place for sex as opposed to making love. What I'm saying is that I think it's okay to have sex with no emotional attachment to it, though you shouldn't be unsafe about it. You shouldn't just go having sex with people willy-nilly, but I don't believe that you have be in love with someone to have sex with them. You have to be in love with them to get to that other dimension of connectedness that making love brings.

I still believe, however, that your first time should be with someone you love.

The problem happens when someone who can separate the emotional from the physical ends up getting physical with someone who can't.

All of this should be qualified with a "to me, anyway."

[cutmanmike]

Hey hey hold on. I never suggested that you were one of those types of folk. I was jut pointing out that my opinion on people having casual sex is wrong. By casual sex I mean going to some party or whatever and randomly having sex with some girl with no emotion or love involved whatsoever is wrong. Infact, that sort of thing puts me off sex. This is the sort of things chavs do.

However, if you believe in both then fair enough. I wasn't pointing the finger at anyone. I was just stating my opinion, as most of us are here.

(However, I don't see why dolphins are involved here)

[Meadow]

Boy oh boy, this is teaching me so much more than GCSE biology can ever hope to.

[Nicodemus]

Ah, fair enough then, cutman.

I brought up dolphins only to illustrate that humans aren't the only animals that have sex for fun.

[cutmanmike]

Oh I see. The dirty little devils! Hmm I wonder if dolphins have threesomes often...

:jizz:

Okay erm, back on topic I guess..

[evan223]

Bonobo's also have sex for fun.

[carpefula]

Personally, I think that most of the issues that cause people to object to threesomes and swinging are either moral ones or insecurity ones.

I can see why people would think multiple sexual partners is wrong.. it has, after all, been drilled into us that this is the case since day one. However, I think the main issue that people would just be too insecure to share their partner, is for fear of losing their partner - or their mind.

It has been widely stated that "women cheat for love, and men cheat for sex" and whilst I am in no way willing to say that I 100% agree agree with this statement... I think it can be used to outline my point here. Which is... relationships can be emotionally strong but sexually weak. Now in cases such as this, often the sexually unsatisfied partner will venture elsewhere, which can end in heart break and loss. I don't see why this should be the case, when answers can be found in the form of 'swinging' or other such activities. If people can just get over their insecurities and have some fun I genuinely believe that many relationships could be saved.

I don't think that intimacy can be removed from a relationship by sexual 'cheating'.. because we are all animals imho and we are all built to breed. Real intimacy comes from emotional connections and sharing times and trauma and happiness together.. not sex.. everyone has sex, it isn't special. Finishing someones sentence or knowing how they have their coffee and eggs in the morning or whatever is.

But that's just my two cents on the matter. :D

[Enmity]

I'm all for it :)

[Acid]

Same here. Why should it be wrong. Its not really cheating if your partner is for it as well. And also it could be beneficial to a relationship as it would show loyalty and devotion. Personally I wouldnt care if it was 2 men, 2 women or any other mix.

[steffie]

in theory i don't see anything wrong with threesomes, as long as all parties know what they're getting into. i'll freely admit that i've found the idea appealing, but i don't think i'd taking it any further than fantasising about would be a good idea it because it's just that, a fantasy. i don't want my illusions shattered but things being uncomfortable or awkward, either physically or emotionally.

saying that, i'm not sure that i'd say no if the opportunity presented itself though, i'm a firm believer in trying everything once. i'd at least want to make an informed choice before i decided i didn't like it. i might be pleasantly surprised anyway.

[labmonkey]

In the right circumstances I would have a threesome, however those circumstances have just never arisen. If they do while I'm in a relationship I have rules which must be followed:

:eng101: If he wants 2 girl action then we must also repeat the experience with another guy, if I have to use my mouth on a girl he has to on a guy and so on and so forth, in order that we both experience the same kind of thing. (Not that I would mind 2 girl action, hey boobs are fun regardless of who they're attached to, I just want to watch my boyfriend being penetrated by another guy :) )

:eng101: The other participants must be a mutual decision by both of us.

:eng101: When discussing the event afterwards the other participants will never be described as better than either of us, at best they can be different.

The 3rd rule I think shows why circumstances have never been right (although the other rules put people off too!), if you're insecure this is just going to create problems within a relationship and right now I'm not secure enough in my relationship to do something like that.

I have had a fair amount of non emotional, no ties sex and sometimes it's hard to be content with one partner again once the initial lust has worn off, because of this we've discussed having an open relationship. We know quite alot of people who succesfully manage to achieve this, but it's just not an option right now for us. While it would be fun to feel the excitement again of another partner and different experiences every now and then I know I would feel jealous if he was doing the same and that would affect our relationship, not to mention that I know that it would crush him to know that I was with other people. For me the strangest thing of all is that if I didn't care about a partner then I wouldn't feel jealous or have any insecurity issues, all I would care about is making sure that any sex regardless of who it was with is safe (which I normally do anyway.)

I totally agree with someone who earlier stated that you can have a strong relationship, but weak sex. It works the other way as well you can have a weak or no relationship and great sex. Either way it's not wrong, it might no be fair, but it's not wrong. So I can understand why some people have sexual relations with people other than their partner, I personally think it should be something that is openly discussed between all parties to avoid deception and to ensure everyone is happy with the situation and in situations where some desire is being met outwith the relationship (ie a kink or fetish) with the consent of both partners I think it really does show a deep level of trust and intimacy, which most people neglect to see.

As for sexual practices not considered normal or mainstream (sorry for paraphrasing), what is normal now anyway? I often go through phases of what I do or don't like to do, but at the end of the day I like what I like and generally I tend to find partners who like it too. :p

My apologies if some of this made me sound like a selfish, nypmhomaniac, I don't really have the time to write this as tactfully as I would have liked since I'm still in work.

[Nicodemus]

If he wants 2 girl action then we must also repeat the experience with another guy, if I have to use my mouth on a girl he has to on a guy and so on and so forth, in order that we both experience the same kind of thing. (Not that I would mind 2 girl action, hey boobs are fun regardless of who they're attached to, I just want to watch my boyfriend being penetrated by another guy)

I'm really sorry, but that's utter rubbish in my mind. You may be much more comfortable using your mouth on another girl than he is being penetrated by another man or using his mouth on one. I mean, hey, if he's for it, then fair play. But I think it's very selfish to expect him to do things he may not be comfortable with just so he can have the experience. Everyone's comfort levels are different. My wife isn't comfortable watching me have intercourse with another woman, but everything else goes. She is bisexual, but she knows that I'm not "there" yet with other guys, so she doesn't expect us to have another guy. Our having a threesome with another girl was never contingent on us having one with another guy. If it had been, we both would have missed out on the experience.

I mean, you can handle it however you want, obviously, but I just think it's unfair to expect someone else to do the things you don't mind doing.

[labmonkey]

I'm really sorry, but that's utter rubbish in my mind. You may be much more comfortable using your mouth on another girl than he is being penetrated by another man or using his mouth on one. I mean, hey, if he's for it, then fair play. But I think it's very selfish to expect him to do things he may not be comfortable with just so he can have the experience. Everyone's comfort levels are different. My wife isn't comfortable watching me have intercourse with another woman, but everything else goes. She is bisexual, but she knows that I'm not "there" yet with other guys, so she doesn't expect us to have another guy. Our having a threesome with another girl was never contingent on us having one with another guy. If it had been, we both would have missed out on the experience.

I mean, you can handle it however you want, obviously, but I just think it's unfair to expect someone else to do the things you don't mind doing.

Your entirely entitled to your opinion Nicodemus and of course you live your life your way and it works for you as mine does for me. That aside one of the points of my rule is to make them think about what their asking me to do, because to be perfectly honest the minute you mention involving another man and expecting your partner to directly interact with them as they would expect you with another woman then they tend to have second thoughts about the whole thing and I'm a firm believer in what's good for the goose is good for the gander. What other people choose to do as long as it makes them happy and doesn't deliberate hurt anyone is none of my concern.

But like I said I personally tend to find people that like the same things as I do so there aren't really too many conflicts and so far my partner doesn't have too many complaints (and luckily likes bossy opinionated women!) :p

[Boz]

I've arrived on this thread rather late, but its interesting, so I'm gonna put my two pennies worth in anyway.
To clarify my position before I begin I am a straight female, but only just I feel, and I only have the one sexual relationship under my belt, which is very long running and unlikley (i hope) to ever end.
In that sense I am fairly curious about threesomes. Both my partner and I lost our virginities very young (to each other) and have never been with anyone ever since. There are times when we think our sex life would perhaps have benefitted from a little more variety and experience before we settled down. In that sense I think that a threesome would be quite interesting as it would bring something new into our relationship. I also wish that I had had some same sex experience in my life, a threesome could allow that, and I have a male on male fetish, so threesomes could also provide for that. BUT, I know me, and I know my insecurities, and I can't help be paranoid that I would get jealous. My partner and I are also quite shy, so there would be the problem of finding a suitable person. We would like it to be someone we both trust and know, but then there is the problem of it making things 'wierd' between us and that person. We're not to keen on the idea of a stranger, you don't know where they've been... So for now threesomes are a no, but it might happen in the future.

As to other sexual deviations - I think I understand them all, Watersports and the like have never been my thing, but I suppose they are all about total release and the sharing normally forbidden physical aspects of a person. There is also the thrill of doing something 'dirty' I suppose. S&M seems pretty understandable too - its not about just hurting someone after all, but about trust, control, the ability to give someone excruciating pain or pleasure in turn, and about the other partners total submission to that. Its all about extremes of sensation etc. In an S&M partnership both partners have to trust each other absolutely, which I think is quite a deep thing. I'm not into the whole pain thing, too much of a wuss, but I think I could quite happily play dominant if I was required.
Lastly Paedophillia - this is not something I'm for, as I think that any sexual activity should be consenting, and that consent involves total understanding of what is happening, which a lot of kids don't have, even the older ones. But at the same time I feel sorry for paedophiles. Paedophillia is, afterall, a sort of sexuality, and it must be awful to find you have feelings of that nature and know you can't, or shouldn't, act on them. I certainly think the media has blown it out of all proportion with the 'monster' thing. A more understanding attitude might help some people overcome their problems and prevent them from ever offending, rather than making them repress and deny if for fear of their lives. That is not to say that there aren't some very sick twisted people out there who do it 'cause they get kicks out of exploiting innocents etc - I'm thinking more about the sort of 'capturing the friedmans' kind of case than anything - the way the police manipulated that case was shocking.

[pebble_rebel]

YES PLEASE!

and to counter my point. Jealousy, be careful of the stuff.

[Nicodemus]

Sure, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, but if you are more comfortable than he is, you can't expect him to do something that makes him uncomfortable just to "even the score." I think that's unfair.

It's a totally different story if he's expecting you to do something you're uncomfortable with, and you say that you'll do it on the condition that he'll return the favor, but in your post you said that you didn't mind it. I was basing my statement on that.

(Not that I would mind 2 girl action, hey boobs are fun regardless of who they're attached to, I just want to watch my boyfriend being penetrated by another guy)

That right there says that you don't mind girl/girl, and that the only reason you want him to do boy/boy is because you want to see it, not because "what's good for the goose is good for the gander."

[SPACKlick]

I have to say I'm with nico on this one. You seem much more comfortable with "using your mouth on a woman" than i woul dbe using mine on a man. That tit-for-tat idea just puts pressure on the whole thing and stops it being about what you both enjoy

As for Boz, My partner and I are in a similar situation and have discussed threesomes for the same reason. We both enjoy the fantasy of a threesome but the practical details have as yet stopped us and probably would stop me. We've both agreed that we wouldn't be comfortable with two guys and that we would be comfortable~ish with another girl. But aside from all the emotional strain that COULD occur afterwards there is the added burden that I'm not the hugest fan of being seen naked, it just seems to me that i shall never be able to see if i enjoy a threesome. Ah well... Good luck to all you out there who do.

[titanic]

Bringing another person in to the relationship eh?

I suppose it depends what you want the other person for, if it’s for pure sex then another man. I really don’t see the point of girl on girl, well I do get the point, 4 boobs and more holes that you can shake your stick at but that’s the problem,
It’s hard enough to please one woman let alone 2 but they are women, with deep intimate knowledge of where the best bits are on each other, you’re just going to get in the way and introducing a 12 inch piece of crafted latex/rubber, just sitting back and enjoying the show is a much better idea.
Where as with another man, between the 2 of you, your chance of hitting those best bits increase. More to the point everyone is doing something

on the other hand, if its a medium/long term thing I’d want another girl such as in a fetish situation, but that’s because id much rather have the woman I love at my side as we play with the 3rd person because its not just gratification for the body but mind as well,

Unusual sexual activities? Well as the old saying goes, I’m a trisexual, I will try anything once! I may need a little coaxing to try it and may need things to be just right and the relationship I’m in to be right to, but I will try it.

i agree with labmonkey too, even if the "i will if you will" is only said to see if test if man is thinking with his head and not with his cock

beides whats wrong with a bit of cock sucking? ;)

[labmonkey]

I said I liked to play with boobs!!! Yeah some aspects on girl on girl don't phase me, but going down on a woman is a HARD limit for me and one that would take alot of support and trust for me to ever overcome. At the end of the day all this comes down to personal comfort levels and trusting your partner not to push you beyond those. OK Nico wouldn't want to be penetrated by another guy, Spacklick wouldn't want to give a blow job and I am assuming that they have never been asked to do these things because their partners know what they are willing to do and what areas are off limits or need time or encouragement to do.

I wouldn't want my partner to want me to do something when they knew I was uncomfortable with it and of course I wouldn't want them to do anything that they were uncomfortable with, but at the same time if I am going to take a step or a sacrifice to try something new then I want to know that it will be appreciated and recipricated and that I'm not the only person in the partnership that has to compromise. This is something that I am very firm about since in the past I have made the mistake of compromising to please someone at the sake of my own comfort both physical and emotional and the scars of that are very deep and something that I never want to experience again. I know it might sound like I've gone too far in the opposite way in protecting or asserting myself, but that's MY way of dealing with it and the only people that it really affects are those few that I choose to have relationships with (which, just to clarify is Titanic who doesn't mind any combination of threesome should we ever have one and has no problem with sucking cock!)

In the end everyone is different, no more so than when it comes to sex, what they like to do, what they don't like to do, who they want to do it with etc, the world would be incredibly dull if we weren't diferent and we certainly wouldn't be able to have debates, but as long as we can accept our differences and don't judge people then it's all good and we can enjoy having sex in whatever way we choose to. (as long as it consenting sex.)

[Nicodemus]

See, that post was much more reasonable. That just wasn't the way you came across in your original statement.

[labmonkey]

Yeah I knew the first post didn't come across as I would have liked because I was rushing it, which was why I put the disclaimer at the end, but I'm glad it makes a bit more sense now.

[MissCheevus]

I don't believe that a threesome can have any good long term effects on a relationship, and the needing of a third party in a bedroom to me is the easy way to stray without straying, you get permission. I've been the victim of parents who did this sort of thing (they divorced after a 20 year marriage) and it in my eyes gave them a taste for "something or someone new" and eventually they both strayed. For me, sex is something shared with someone you love, its about respecting eachother and giving to eachother something that no other relationship in your life gets, it defines your relationship from those of your friends, and if you just drag your friend into the bed in the middle of you, then the relationship you have, in my honest opinion, becomes as small and as plain as that friendship, and not as a loving couple. Its also dangerous in the way of whatever the sex of third party, if one of the couple has a bisexual curiosity, and it is bought forward to the bedroom openly and enjoyed, it could become a tendancy - which will also very much put strain on a relationship. All in all I think its selfish, it belittles the meaning of what a relationship between partners is, and it, in the end, can only lead to something thats not so good, even after many happy years together.

This of course is only my opinion, I have a high respect for love and the relationship between two people. Not everyone shares my opinion and I have complete respect that as adults we are entitled to live our life as makes us happy, just because I don't believe its morally right for myself, doesn't mean I lose any respect for those who choose to go that path. Everybody has a funky sexual tendancy, a kink so to speak. I have my own wicked personal pleasures and desires, its just mine are either one or two player games :)

[Monique]

I think its whatever tickles your fancy. I have threesomes with friends, but never with boyfriends. The jealousy issue is just too much. You dont get that with friends.

[djsodapop]

I would just can't find anybody. :(

I think it's ok if you are not in a relationship otherwise it can be a killer. Each to their own i say, you have to sample everything in life otherwise you will just end up regretting it.

You know 50 years ago people were ass-shamed to talk about anal sex, now everyone is doing it.

[Nicodemus]

I read your disclaimer that the end of you post, MissCheevus, but...

I don't believe that a threesome can have any good long term effects on a relationship, and the needing of a third party in a bedroom to me is the easy way to stray without straying, you get permission.

I am walking proof that this statement is false. It may have been correct in your parents' case, but not in mine. It has made our relationship better, and we didn't NEED a third party, we wanted one.

Forgive me, but from what you said, it seems your opinion of this has been wholly structured around what happened with your parents, who quite honestly, are absolutely no representation of all couples at all. I know you said you respect peoples' decisions and all that, but that doesn't change the fact that you have the opinion you stated in the above quote. My point is that you have formed this opinion based on very limited experience. What if, for example, you were my child and my wife was your mother. As you got older, we tell you that we had had threesomes and it had made our relationship much stronger. It was something we had a lot of fun with, and don't regret in the least. What if we stayed married the rest of our lives? You opinion would be completely the opposite.

All I'm saying is that one couple does not determine the valitidy of anything. I'm not saying that every threesome is going to turn out well, because they very obviously don't. I'm just saying that they can turn out well if everyone is in the right place and it's done right.

[Pilk Man]

I think it's a bad idea.

IMO, it's like telling your girlfriend that you don't mind her sleeping with other guys/girls. I'd be paranoid that she started doing it behind my back..

[eleanor]

Pilk, you seem to be posting without reading what's gone before (in here and in the Lesbianism debate).

[original sunrise]

It confussed me, but i was drunk.
not sure i would like to have another go.

may be with 2 women not men.

was it a good ideal?
It seemed it at the time..

[Lured]

Dude It'll Ruin The The Moment

I Cant Remember Who Said It B4 But It Is Like Communism Good On Paper No Good In Reality (sorry For Not Using The Quotey Thingy)

[Ozzylator]

That was in QC.