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View Full Version : The advantages and disadvantages of eating out


totes
22-08-2006, 11:48 AM
After a particularly vapid and wearsome day, I'd decided to treat myself to a nice meal out. Now, we all have those Holiday Inns in our locale; I'd heard good things about it. It seemed the perfect place to squander my beloved savings on.

I got myself a taxi to the restaurant, as you do, and had a rather heated debate about George W. Bush in the confined space of a Peugeot 206.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, I was presented with a fantasmagorical selection of foods to choose from. Unfortunately, just as I was feasting my eyes on the cold starters bench, a pulchritudinous waitress appeared from out of nowhere to whisk me away to my table.

A slight malheureux awaited me; I was positioned within a half-metre radius to a pensioner party of around twenty people. They kept giving me dodgy looks and muttering. Most likely curses and poxes on me, but nonetheless I continued with my reading of the menu.

The self-same waitress then pounced forth from the shadows, which startled me into making a rather rash decision about wanting the cold starter table and French onion soup. I don't even like soup. Stop thrusting good looking waitresses on me. Please. I need both of my hands above the table to eat, chrissakes.

I have to admit, though; the starter course was sublime, even if I was somewhat distracted by the lovely waitress, which caused me to choke on my prawns a large number of times.

Afterwards came the main course; I had simply claimed that I did not request soup at all. Not me. Never. However, it was a bit of a letdown, rather a "dude, where's my meat?" type scenario.

Finally came dessert. This is the part of the meal where your stomach starts to think, "no, I really could not consume another bite," whereas your brain whsipers to you, "WHAT?! YOU'D WASTE ALL THAT MONEY?!"

Inevitably, I gave it a go. You always do. End up stuffing the last few morsels into your mouth. Bleargh. I feel sick now. Leave me alone. Please. :(

GorillaBearBear
09-09-2006, 03:40 PM
Interestingly the advantages and disadvantages are never, in fact, discussed here.


but he used big words, making it a funny!

By the way, Phantasmagorical is spelt ph, and refers to a series of phantasms or illusions, so unless this restaurant, in fact, presented you with only the illusions of food, I believe that sentence makes fuck all sense.

flamelitface
10-09-2006, 10:29 AM
Your fifth paragraph is excellent, but I feel that you have forced some complex words into the article, when they really not necessary, and will also alienate people who don't understand their definition, and makes us reach for the dictionary, when we just want to read your article.

totes
10-09-2006, 06:15 PM
heh, can't help using them really.

i'll bear it in mind for the next one.

basstard
10-09-2006, 10:23 PM
heh, can't help using them really.

i'll bear it in mind for the next one.

There's nowt wrong with long words, but it's when you're putting long words for having long words' sake that it gets a bit unnecessary. Tychoesque, if you will.

The one I noted was 'pulchritudinous'. I have to admit to not knowing what it means, and you committed a fairly big sin of Big Word Use - the immediate context doesn't help to provide a meaning in your head for it. You are left waiting two paragraphs to see if the waitress is old, ugly, beautiful, witchy, or whatever.

More to the point, describing people is a great opportunity for humour, reflection, or simply getting some kind of point across, which I felt was kinda missing.


Other than that I enjoyed it, it was a well written article, funny, and gets it's point across. Having said that - eating a meal in anything resembling a fancy restaurant, by yourself? Not something I could bring myself to do. The one other thing I think could be changed [and this is just my opinion], is that it could do with being a slight amount lengthier. I was left hoping for more - the fact that what was there was well written and entertaining simply enhanced the 'I'd like a bit more' feeling.

Well done, though.

Taysmith
11-09-2006, 07:31 PM
I knew what pulchritudinous means \o/

Being a posh twat who learns Latin paid off for once. I can only imagine it means something to do with being beautiful, given pulcher means beautiful. Anyway, gotta agree that - in most cases - forcing long words in to sound overly-intelligent tends to backfire, still a good read though