North or South? Competition thread

[Paul12345]

Current score: North 1 South 4

So here it is the thread proper where the challenges will be laid down and we will see the magic take place.
The teams are as follows:
NORTH
Team Captain: WhiteTotem
La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo
Dr S
shinytheelf
Hitpoint
Shwee
[murray]
the basstard
-Roach-
Smartie
Sirch
Terrorbite
luttman23
_pinky_
SOUTH
Team Captain: Paul12345
Taysmith
Nuclear Spoon
Erasmus
Aladdin Sane
mat
bionic sheep
faragher
CoX
Chaotica
Leprechaun Frog
Stalefish
AngryPaul
Shane

The judge will be Sebas.

If you wish to sign up please PM myself or WhiteTotem from now on but as we would like to keep the teams fairly even we cannot admit you until at least one person wants to join each team. The original thread for details of the contest is here: http://forums.weebls-stuff.com/showthread.php?t=54009

The opening contest will be open to all team members so everyone can participate but future challenges may require only a few of you.
For this opening challenge we’d like you to write an article describing what the 80’s were like and using as many ocean based puns as possible and in no more than 500 words. For example “George Michael always claimed to be straight but I knew there was something fishy going on there.” As stated before we want this to be a good laugh so we’ll let you go off on a tangent a fair but try to stick to the brief, also I know that not all of you will know much about the 80’s but we never said it had to be true… Also please put the puns you write in bold tags as I did above to make it obvious where the puns are, we don’t want them to be missed because as I have emphasised over and over, this thread is meant to be a good laugh and not too serious.

After writing up your articles please send them to your captains (me or WT) by email preferably but PM's if you don't want us pair of stalkers getting ahold of your email address. Please make it clear that you are from the forum by putting something like "FROM THE WS FORUMS" in the subject so I don't accidentally delete it as spam. We will offer flaming constructive criticism and send on the 5 articles we most consider worthy to be judged to Sebas. (We don’t want to overload Sebas with 20+ articles and we don’t want people stealing your ideas so please don’t post the articles)

Sebas will then judge these articles on 2 things. The first being how many puns you fit in the article and the second being how funny the article is in general. He will then publish the top three in this thread and each will earn a point for their side meaning there is a maximum of three points up for grabs.

As team captains me and WT are mainly here to offer advice and decide on which entries get passed to the judge but in some contests we will be able to participate, we’ll let you know which ones when they come up.

If anybody has any questions (and there are sure to be some, as I said before one of the charms about this thread is that we aren’t thinking too hard about it, we want it to be slightly experimental and off-the-cuff) please PM me or WT or post in the other thread, we want to keep this thread for the challenges and results only.

You have until 7pm on Tuesday 12th to submit your final entries to myself or WT, hopefully Sebas will pass judgment on that night, if not then the following day and a new challenge will follow on shortly.
This challenge may seem a bit boring to some of you but we wanted to do something that you could all have a go at and that would be a good laugh to start you off. We may do some mini walk off style competitions in the near future. So go forth and be funny, the south or the north is depending on you!

The latest challenge can be found here: http://forums.weebls-stuff.com/showpost.php?p=1371868&postcount=31

[Sebas]

Well, I have to work on tuesday nights, but I'll be home at 10 PM, meaning 9 PM your time. I will try my hardest to judge the same night, but I can't guarantee it. I'll probably manage it, though.

[Leprechaun Frog]

When does this essay have to be in for, Sir?

[Paul12345]

When does this essay have to be in for, Sir?
You have until 7pm on Tuesday 12th to submit your final entries to myself or WT
:eng101:
Also:
If anybody has any questions (and there are sure to be some, as I said before one of the charms about this thread is that we aren’t thinking too hard about it, we want it to be slightly experimental and off-the-cuff) please PM me or WT or post in the other thread, we want to keep this thread for the challenges and results only.
Please READ the thread, I know it is long but it is all there if you actually bother to read it.

[Leprechaun Frog]

Sorry, I kinda skimmed over it while looking for the dates and must of accidently ignored the last paragraph.

[AngryPaul]

*reads thread*

*becomes interested*

*runs out of time on his break*

[totes]

well seeing as we have received one entry each i am taking this to mean that

a) people aren't interested

b) people can't be bothered

you have until tomorrow to get any entries in

love <3

[Sebas]

I don't want to have become a judge for nothing so GET OFF YER LAZY BUMS AND WRITE SOMETHING!

Thank you for your attention.

[Sebas]

Right, I have read and passed judgement, but let me begin by saying I am disappointed in you all. I know I am but the judge, but only 4 out of 22 people sending in something is kinda on the low side, don't you agree?

Now, here is how it goes. I will first post the top 3 writers, with a short bit about each and why it was a good article. The, I will post the articles themselves.

1) The only entry for the North, but Smartie is a clear winner nonetheless. The article itself is written very well. It is also very funny, which is the main criterium in this contest, and therefore, a deserved first place for this.

2) Aladdin Sane was actually very close to Smarties entry, but not quite, I'm afraid. Also written very well, and enough to put a wide smile on my face during the reading.

3) Third place goes to Taysmith. His article was amusing, but slightly below sea level, I'm afraid. (Look, I made a funny :p ) But obviously, it was still good enough to make it into the top 3.

Now, the articles themselves:

I remember the 80s, as I was a teenager having a whale of a time. The scale of corporate 80s was a sea of shark-toothed estate agents and GUPPIES (gormeless urban professionals), capitalising on the property boom. The streets were awash with Dynasty- type shoulder-pads and ripped Jeans, and Bros were making waves with their hit “Drop the buoy”. Before this era where teenagers found themselves adrift in Stock Aitken and Waterman land, the charts were the sole remit of the Goths and the new romantics. Whilst Goths are clearly very sexy, new romantics were all great big girlie poofs. Also, we met the best band in the world, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, from Liverpool.

Occasionally Cliff Richard would bob back up with the odd Christmas Hit, and we’d all wish he was marooned on some cod-forsaken island somewhere. Also making a big splash in the 80s was brazen pop-tart Madonna, popular with everyone until her cross burning antics caused a ripple of discontent across the waters, and some American Christians turn against her for heresy.

Martina Navratilova came out, and tennis world reeled with shock at her inability to get a decent haircut, and the fact she had thighs like a trucker. Tennis aside, the 80s became the decade of the footballer. Clubs shelled out vast amounts for skinny blokes who were able to kick a small round ball into avast goal. And not only were they talented on the field, but off it they displayed the glory of the mullet. Sorry to carp on about football, but the 80s saw the biggest footballing travesty ever to take plaice – namely the poisoned dwarf hand-of-god cheating Argentinian bastards. Although Maradona clamed at the time no foul play, Twat. England Skipper Bryan Robson should have kicked him in the sand-bags.

The trawl through politics sees the Iron lady herself, Margaret Thatcher at the helm of the Conservative party, one of their most successful terms of government ever. Whilst the old trout was hated by many, she was equally as popular, but controversy around the right to buy of council houses saw her loose her political perch in late ’89. The conservatives were subsequently kept afloat by the terminally boring grey-coloured John Major, who did nothing to reverse the tide of people on the dole, sponging of the state.

And finally, I expect the 80s were the origin of the worst sea-based joke ever “Who needs fronds, when you’ve got anemones”

The End.

The 1980s were the bit that came between the 1970s and the 1990s and were perhaps the temporal equivalent of a tuna mayonnaise sandwich that has been left out in the sun for the past week. That is to say gave off a pretty bad stench. Positively revolting in fact. And fishy, very fishy.

Let us first look at the fashion of the 1980s, or rather the lack of any. Shell suits were all the rage during the 1980s, and although their name would suggest otherwise, they did not infact consist of a large clam shell. Unfortunately they were a much more dire affair and being as visually appealing as trout's face they were pretty much guaranteed to make the wearer look out of plaice wherever they went. The one saving grace of the shell suit is that they had the inherent ability to make the wearer look like a complete and utter pollock, thus providing a considerable source of mirth to anyone witnessing any poor cod foolish enough to wear such an horrendous garment.

In 1982, hairstyles were invented by John Dory, a down-on-his-luck barber who came up with the idea when he was busy gluing the piece of hair off his shop floor onto his extensive collection of home made mannequins that he had fashioned out of fairy washing up liquid bottles. Yes, he was quite a strange character. Up until this time, people had to put with floundering around with some rather ruddimentary and boring haircuts and as such hairstyling became very popular, very quickly. Unfortunately, because it was still all rather new back then, people weren't very good at it and so in the majority of cases the things adorning peoples heads throughout the 1980s were total carp.

Music during the 1980s took a turn for the worse and with the arrival of New Wave sild gradually into a mess of unoriginality, cheesy electro pop characterised by it's overuse of fhake instruments and some even more suspect hairstyles that the ones conjured up during the early days of hairdressing in the early 1980s.

Overall I would give the 1980s a 7 out of 10 because they did at least manage to be marginally more interesting that the decades that followed it, even if this was for the wrong reasons. Oh, and did I mention they were a predominantly southern venture?

The 80’s? Well I wasn’t alive then, but I’ve watched many a carp Channel 5 show about it. All it went on about was the music, the sex and the clothes – oh my cod the clothes, they were ridiculous. One of the talking heads was going on about how sexy he looked in some tight jeans, I wouldn’t wipe my sole on him. He looked pretty crabby to me, so seeing him in tight jeans could only make matters worse.
The topic on another of these shows was the music, and some of it was pretty good, so I’ll skate quickly over the details. Obviously, one of the biggest acts at that time was Michael Jackson. There was a short excerpt of a concert he played in, and all the fans clammedas he sung a ballad, it was incredible. As the tempo of the music rose, everyone was having a whale of a time. Tuna Turner had many smash hits in the 80’s – including Pirate Dancer and Break Every Rule. Even James Brown, who had had a career for many years before the 80’s, proved he was still the codfather of soul with a number of brilliant records.
Another popular thing to do in the 80’s was to rebel against ‘the system’. You had young men on motorpikes zooming along roads and crashing head-on into walls – it wasn’t long ‘till all the rebellious kids were under the sturgeon’s knife, undergoing surgery.
Of course, casual sex was meant to be another big thing around the 80’s. You go to a bar, see a girl/boy you like, one fin leads to another, and you’re in bed together. It needn’t happen in a bar though. It could happen in a cinema, a restaurant toilet, or even a whaleway station. To be perfectly honest, any old plaice would do.
It was also meant to be the decade where everyone made friends as they went clubbing, drinking, whathaveyou-ing together. There were no shellfish acts like forcing your mates to pay for the drinks, everyone was nice to one another. Fryday nights were spent in pubs together, just having a laugh and enjoying yourselves, the shows make it out to be great. Indeed, many people would have enjoyed themselves so much that, when things quietened down at the end of the decade, they’d have been gutted.
All in all, a pretty finny decade. Full of sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll. In fact, it’s a good thing it’s over, or we’d all still be completely hooked!

Thank you for your attention, see you next week.

[terrorbite]

Oi WhiteTotem, why didn't you pass my entry onto Sebas? :(

[totes]

i sent you a PM.

because I am lovely*

<3

*may be lies

[terrorbite]

I know you did, but I don't think there was anything wrong with my article:

In the 1980's, a popular video game entitled Frogger was released. Frogs like water, so do fish.
Edit: That took me 5 hours.

[Paul12345]

We'll bring you a new challenge tomorrow but we were pretty disappointed in the amount of entries we recieved and the quality of some of them. I know we said this is just supposed to be a laugh and everything but please could you all put in a bit of an effort and check both this thread and the questions thread regularly for updates.
We've gone to a fair amount of effort setting this up and it'd be nice if people could actually try and hopefully make this a fun game, thank you to those of you who did bother to enter and well done to the winners, each one clearly put some effort into making up some good puns.

[terrorbite]

we were pretty disappointed in the amount of entries we recieved and the quality of some of them.
You mean mine :p

Btw, can the next challenge be less... essay-ish? I'm sure that would encourage more people to enter.

[Paul12345]

You mean mine :p
Yours was not the worst shockingly.
Btw, can the next challenge be less... essay-ish? I'm sure that would encourage more people to enter.
It will be, it will probably be something similar to a walk off but to get you started we wanted to do something that everyone could do fairly easily, we understand that not everyone wants to take photos of themselves and put them on the website and such like thats why we started with an essay, writing about 500 words on a very broad subject was supposed to be an easy task that all could do.

[AngryPaul]

We'll bring you a new challenge tomorrow but we were pretty disappointed in the amount of entries we recieved and the quality of some of them.Well I didn't enter one cos I thught I was still waiting to someone from the North to be added so the sides were even. :p

[Paul12345]

Well I didn't enter one cos I thught I was still waiting to someone from the North to be added so the sides were even. :p
You were correct, I only just added you to the team in an edit about 5 minutes ago.

Any further questions\queries\anything else in the questions thread please: http://forums.weebls-stuff.com/showthread.php?t=54009

[sirch]

Appologies for not entering.

I have been extremely busy and tired over the last few days and have had no time. I also know nothing about the 80's althogh thats not really a reason as there is plenty of info.

I'll hopefully enter next time.

[luttman23]

what happened?

[totes]

NEW CHALLENGE \o/

Well we thought you needed something a bit more fun, so here it is.

Y M C A !

Basically what we want you to do is either present to us a video or a series of photos of you bustin' your best moves. Now I'm assuming you all know the YMCA dance.

For all who haven't, the video can be found here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03Q0Oms_YPU).

Now, you have a week from now (so you have until Thursday the 21st) to go forth and produce your masterpieces. These are to be sent to myself or Paul12345 in a PM, and we will in turn send the best one entry on to Sebas.

Get going!

(the other entries that don't win will be posted by me and Paul eventually)

[Taysmith]

One entry, do you mean one from each 'half' of the UK?

[totes]

one from each half

KEEP IT MOVING PEOPLE

[Sebas]

Haha, for this I truly hope many people will send in theirs. This should be brilliant :D

[AngryPaul]

I think I'll try and get one in. As long as my webcam can pick up movement from more than 5 foot away ¬_¬

[basstard]

I've completed "principal filming" for this and just need to download a free video editing doodah, work out how to use it, and edit in the sound etc.

Bollocks. Turns out my camera is useless at video, and so am I. Therefore all I've got are a couple 15 second snippets at dancing.

Will have to refilm tomorrow.

edit - how crap is that? My phone can film longer video than my camera...and it will record sound!

Oops, my memory card was full. Can actually get long enough once I format it.

Sorry everyone, it's the day of the deadline now and I've only just discovered the camera will only film 15 seconds at once. Which renders it, and the effort i've put in, kinda useless.

Sorry but I think for this round I'm out. (Can you tell I've not done video before?)

[totes]

TODAY IS IT THANK YOU VERY MUCH

HURRY UP AND GET IN BEFORE EIGHT O' CLOCK IF YOU HAVE THEM

yeah, that

[Sebas]

Right guys, once again, I am disappointed in the turn out for this. GET SOME FRIGGING EFFORT IN IT!

Having said that, onwards to the judging. As you may or may not know, this time I only got sent 2 contestants, 1 for each half of Britain. To make this more exciting, I will start at the person who finished last, working my way up to the winner.


...not that that would build up the tension for a long time, but still.


2) The second place in this round goes to Shane. His entry consisted of pictures as opposed to a film clip, which were, although rather imaginative and good for a giggle or two, not good enough to beat the winner. No offence, Shane, but the winner was just that good.

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/208/ymcalm8.jpg

1) Now, to the winner. *Insert drum roll here* A very well-deserved first place goes to Cox, also known as Owl Pen0r. His entry was imaginative, funny, and most important of all, exceedingly gay :D (Just kidding, although it does involve a rainbow-coloured hat :p ) I was literally laughing out loud throughout the entire thing, so, without further ado, see what I mean here:

The winning entry by Cox (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KpHUvck1vs)

[CoX]

Wow, thankyou Sebas. :)

[AngryPaul]

Very expertly done.

I mean putting that brace back in place whle dancing. :)

[Smartie]

Having said that, onwards to the judging. As you may or may not know, this time I only got sent 2 contestants, 1 for each half of Britain. To make this more exciting, I will start at the person who finished last, working my way up to the winner.


Well, no, they were both from the South. :(

[Paul12345]

NEW CHALLENGE

As suggested by you lot in the questions thread we'd like you to draw something that represents your section of the country. Now when we say your section you can interpret that as meaning the North (if you represent the North) or London (if you live in London) or whatever, as long as it depicts an area of the country you are associated with. This is deliberately a little vague as we want you to use your imaginations a bit on this one.

You can use any medium you like, paint, PSP, Photoshop even the trusty pencil if you wish, do it any way you wish but it must be drawn by you.
Just send all the entries to me or WT when you are done and we'll send them on to Sebas for him to judge, points go to the top 3 places with first place earning a massive 3 points, 2nd earns two and third gets one meaning a whopping 6 point total is up for grabs this time around.

The deadline is 8pm Sunday 1st October.

Any questions on the challenge please ask in the questions thread here: http://forums.weebls-stuff.com/showthread.php?t=54009

[totes]

today be the deadline, yarrr

i've only had one entry, so get a move on people!