Continue the Story

[HomeStarRunner]

I know I'll get bad reputation for copying Continue the Comic, but this is for people who are too lazy to do all that art. I'll start it.

I am Tofu. I am a giant piece of corn. I drive in my car with the Planet Express logo on it from Futurama. I'm a Futurama nerd. I have been getting some strange mail with gibberish on it. I can't even use my Handy Dandy Futurama Fictional Alien Language to English Dictionary to decode these strange messages. I wonder who they're from.

[Lippy]

earlier today i discovered it was microsoft sending me this strange gibberish, i now understand why it is gibberish, due to their small mental standard, my futurama fictional alien language transmitter does not understand the utter gibberish of these fiends, so i set off in my futurama mobile, too track down who and why they where sending me this.

[HomeStarRunner]

I drove through the door of the microsoft headquarters, and ran over Bill Gates. Hey, this story is non-canon anyway. Or IS IT? Wait, he lived. I BETTER FIX THAT! Wheee!

[T-Bear]

As i am running him over, I see an argos voucher on the floor, for £10 off apurchase of £50 or more. But do i dare get out of the car? There are bear traps lining the floor.

[HomeStarRunner]

Is argos a store? Also, this story takes place in the USA because I live there. I want the currency to be american. So I have no idea how much money that is. Anyway, back to the story.

I looked closely at the voucher. I noticed it was counterfit. So I came out and took it. The bear traps didn't work on me, because I am not a bear.

[crazyMLC]

after picking up the voucher, i turned around, i wasn't in microsoft, i was in disney land! something weird is happening around here.

[T-Bear]

After galloping around, taking pictures of rides, and the big castle, i sat down, and had lunch, as i was hungry from the 2 squillion push ups i did before...breakfast. As i was eating by cheese and egg sandwitch (with the crusts cut off,) I could feel heavy breathing on the nape of my neck. As i turned around...

[HomeStarRunner]

It was Clifford the Big Red dog! As I gazed at the giant red puppy, I noticed that he was squeezing. Aw, CRAP! Hey, I made a fun---EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEw.

[Hydralisk]

I woke up from my dream and found the sheets to be wet and sticky in the worst place it is possibly to have your sheets sticky and wet. I got out of bed, and fell down a pothole that someone had cunningly placed right next to my bed.

[Zhyl]

I want the currency to be american.

English forums, so no. Anyways:

As I fell I felt the wind rushing through my hair, the stickyness on my legs slowly dried to a thick paste. I pulled my sword from my pants and stabbed downwards with all miy might. I hit the ground with the accurate prescision of the ninja I had once been, gracefully landing on my feet like a cat. I heard a sharp squeal from behind. I turned around as horror swept through my soul as I saw...

[T-Bear]

A pig, that had been set on fire. As it...pigged its way towards me, i could help not think that this could be the end. The big one. The light at the end of the tunnel. As the flaming bacon farm galloped towards me...

[Irvine Black]

It mysteriously sprouted wings. Flapping them with all it's might, it managed to extinguish the flames upon it's back, and it hoisted me by my shoulders in to the air...

[HomeStarRunner]

and he said "If you do The Bartman you're bad like Micheal Jackson!"

[crazyMLC]

you thought 'i must be imagining things!' and you grab the pigs wings, they are still warm, and you flip your sticky legs onto the pig's back. it helped to have once been a ninja, your also lucky, you didn't break off your shoulders!

[HomeStarRunner]

I did The Bartman. The pig hated Micheal Jackson, so he shook, and I fell off of him.

[hoogiman]

'Stupid Pig,' I said angrily, strutting off.
Luckily, the postman was at the door, delivering the package.
But when I opened the package... I found...

[crazyMLC]

spore! i found spore! now where to play it... do i have a computer around here?
oh, i do! its at...

[hoogiman]

my office!
So I walk down to my office, all cheery, when suddenly, a ninja pops out of nowhere.
The ninja holds his ninja sword up to my throat, and doesn't let me go unless I give him...

[Hydralisk]

Directions to the nearest Tescos!
So I duly do so, and in the blink of an eye he is gone. Cheery as ever I continue to walk down to the office, when I smell smoke...

[hoogiman]

Coming from my office! I see that the fourth and fifth storeys are on fire, and the fire is going to reach my office, one storey below!
I dash in, take the stairs, and run into my office.
I can feel the burning fumes coming through the roof.
I think to myself, 'All of these important documents are here!'
But I can only save one item, or I get burnt myself, so the item that I save is my...

[by crikey!]

...is my boss! i get a medal for bravery for saving the useless and filthy rich chump. the medal is shiny, and in return he gives me for saving him...

[The Noise]

a cheeseburger.Its only after I'm done enjoying that i relize, OH NO i forgot to.......

[Pilk Man]

wank.

Now my balls have exploded so I'm...

[Fissh]

..dialling 999 with my nose as a desperately try to hold my meat on when suddenly that ninja appears again and...

[Irvine Black]

Calls for the aid of his best friend, Lorena Bobitt to finish the job on my crotchal region.
Just as she withdrew a large rusty knife from her pocket...

[johndoh4]

Her cell phone rang, and it turned out to be...

[Pilk Man]

her dog. She vowed once again not to leave the phone in easy reach of the dog. It had all started several years before when, as a happy university student, she had met a man at the pub named Erskin.

Twat sold her a dog.

She was drunk and felt a little slutty so..

[frambonia]

so she randomly jumped onto the pool table and started to dance. But just then she remembered that on the pool table was...

[nos217]

Anti matter!!!! She was sucked into the matter and appeared in a strange land...

[frambonia]

Anitmatter!!! She was sucked into the matter and appeared in a strange land...

Antimatter doesn't cause a black hole, it makes a big BOOM when it touches anything that is matter, which is kind of everything on earth. Just thought you might like to know. And back 2 the story...

[bmfy.]

not far off from Sweden. As she had no money on her...

[Mr. Maark]

She instead sold her pancreas to illegal hedgehogs...

[frambonia]

Who dedicated a shrine to the holy pancreas until a police car came and...

[Vercci]

morphed into super man and he laser eyed the pancreas. it blew up and all the hedge hogs declared war on the justice team then all of a sudden...

[frambonia]

Zombie Stalin comes and makes a treaty with the hedghogs that he will give them plenty more sacred pancreases in trade for the brains of the justice team. But just then...

[Pilk Man]

A MASSIVE NUCLEAR EXPLOZION KILLED DEM LOLOLOL

Several years after the devastating holocaust...

[Soma]

...a breed of atomic supermen began to evolve. highly original, I know
But then they all died out because...

[bmfy.]

...a huge asteriod hit Scandinavia, causing a global winter. After many years of nothingness...

[frambonia]

A mysterious craft landed and 99.3 evil overlords came with their army of contortionists to take over earth. But what they didn't know was that earth has been ridden of all life forms many years ago so the overlords and their contortionists decide to...

[bmfy.]

...invest in real estate. After many years of being in the real estate business, they decide to use their new fortune to...

[Vercci]

buy the last beer made since 2023 after the holocaust but again a war was started after someone shook it up and the beer blew a hole through the leader of the aliens.his right hand man decided the first thing to do was......

[Pilk Man]

fap. a lot.


His pet chameleon was utterly repulsed and decided that it was time his insurance...

[frambonia]

was given an AK47 to shoot Mr. Mouse in the noggin. But, As the cheesy voice-over man announced the headshot...

[Vercci]

advert started to play so everyone left cos they were bored... the end .........not........................the ak47 had T virus laced bullets so mr mouse became a zombie and followed the others back to................the future? the past? the batcave? no he found himself in...

[bmfy.]

...an Australian suburb. A man named Harold Bishop spotted the zombie of Mr Mouse, and began to spread the word. Now the whole neighbourhood knew, and had stopped going outside in fear of the zombie. But then...

[Lippy]

A massive block of cheese appeared, and challanged the Mr Mouse zombie to a duel, the mouse agreed, and opened it's mouth...

[kotu]

The mouse won! His breath stank far worse than any cheese.

[bmfy.]

So eventually, Harold Bishop and his neighbours couldn't stand the stench anymore, and eventually Paul Robinson came out and offered Mr Mouse a polo. But...

[frambonia]

The polo was contaminated with pyroxide and the brown furred zombie mouse turned pale-blonde. This frustrated the zombie mouse so much that he went on an evil death rampage in...

[bmfy.]

a dairy factory. Milk burst from the containers, as Mr Mouse wreaked havoc. Milk flooded the floors, as Mr Mouse continued onto the cheese section of the factory. But then, standing in the truck entrance of the factory, stood Lara Croft, dressed as a snowman. Mr Mouse turned around and gasped. And then...

[Vercci]

a comet hit the factory blowing most of it all up woth mr mouse lara baing a hero from video games didnt die and instead had a real cool video scene where she jumps shoots and coughs her way out all of a sudden in the air holograpic letters say

!!!bonus round!!!

she teleports to this weird dimension where there is nothing really interesting and all of a sudden a BOOMING voice says Player 1 you must......

[frambonia]

Feel the force run through your body But Mr. Mouse knew that the force wasn't real so he said "hey! voice-over man! could you tell me what i actually have to do?"
"Oh, alright," said the Voice-Over Man, "You have to...

[bmfy.]

...confront Darth Vader to learn the truth. And as Mr Mouse flew to cloud city, he remebed back to his training in Dagobah...

Mr Mouse ran through the jungle, searching, searching. But then
out of no where, a huge orange cat appeared. Crushing Mr Mouse. But then, after many years of struggling, he found him self in a pub, with several alien overlords...

[Vercci]

he gets drunk and starts on very poorly made holo-tables as he thinks everyone is nice laffin with him YMCA starts to play in the background so he sings and dances to the tune all of a sudden simon cowell appears in a huge rush of flame and he says......................

[bmfy.]

..."asta la vista, baby." And then, Arnold Schawzeneger(sp?) bursts through the window. But then, nothing happens. Until the last beer made since 2023 bursts through on of the alien overlords eye...

[Vercci]

and everyone fights over it here as well but something is wrong with this beer everyone else had some of it and they started to flop around on the floor screaming IM SOBER NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! he checks the label and sees that it was a fake made by them the real beer was being shiped out back into space so the whole world freezes for a second but thats all it takes to stall the aliens engines so they couldnt leave all of a sudden a statue crashes into the ground revealing a.............

[bmfy.]

... a whole load of unused full stops and commas. Vercci, wondering what they are, starts to panic. Having never used them, Vercci starts screaming, and then runs off into the distance. The piebaled donkey and the gorilla watched on until...

[melonfish]

they decided to get stoned, but then they thought the full stops and commas were trying to kill them, so they ran off and in the middle of the road for no apparent reason there was a...

[bmfy.]

...dead body. The dead body had been there for several months, but nobody had seen him. The dead body was actually quite annoyed. Mike, he had been called, and he had been run over by a car, that hadn't noticed him. Mike started to cry, when...

[frambonia]

The car came back to Mike to apologize for running over him. But, being a dead body, he couldn't hear niether could he reply to the apology so instead Mike decided to...

[Smidge91]

Buy a mousemat. Then he died.

[DoughnutShaped]

Everybody decided to throw a party, but a strange

[sursmiley]

large dog stepped out of the shadows. It yelled: "Massive dog poop attack" and then...

[DoughnutShaped]

I put up my trusty umbrella and laughed as I watched everyone else get covered in dog poop.

[sursmiley]

But that turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life because...

[Arcane Wolf]

The umbrella was actually radioactive turning me into...

[DoughnutShaped]

Lardman, which I actually thjought was quite cool, so I went around people's houses solving crimes for cereal.

[Vercci]

but i didnt count on a big box full of.......

[melonfish]

evil mushrooms so then brusting through the window was...

[frambonia]

Satan Jr. We befriended eachother and played in the local park. We even...

[El Fisho]

sacrificed a small goat for his dad. Later we...

[DoughnutShaped]

visited the Crayon Factory to...

[sursmiley]

Steal some enchanted crayons. But the crayons were evil...

[DoughnutShaped]

so we ate them. We immediately realised this wasn't our best idea when our heads...

[Emptyspraycan]

turned into crayons,which was'nt that good because...

[melonfish]

we were very still for a long time then we died after being chewed to death but i was reincarnated as a...

[Emptyspraycan]

lemon.But then a badger attacked me and...

[Corn_Fest]

its mutated poison caused me to turn into a foul mushroom, which was promptly eaten by an old bald fat man. When I woke up inside the fat man, the fist thing I saw was...

[Emptyspraycan]

a playstation 3,so i started playing it with a...

[bmfy.]

...PS3 controller. I played non-stop for 62 hours when suddenly a dragon crashed into my window. I got up from my PS3 to go have a look at the dragon when...

[Phrozen Heat]

...I woke up and realised it was all a dream, however while sleep walking i wondered into a zoo and...

[Emptyspraycan]

realised you were in the monkey cage with marcel,jim,tracy and all the others but the public looked in and saw that you were...

[Phrozen Heat]

... actually a monkey....

[bmfy.]

You and your monkey friends looked baffled after the sudden change from 1st person to 2nd person, but the people watching you didn't notice as something far more interesting happened...

[Phrozen Heat]

... A gorilla that looked a bit like michael jackson was performing the the next cage, the crowd reacted to this by....

[Emptyspraycan]

shouting "keep him away from the children!"

So you had too...

[melonfish]

throw a rock at him but it missed and hit...

[JeremyR]

...the japanese tourist in his sensitive left ear, so he produced a hidden katana...

[Corn_Fest]

...and proceeded to chop you in half down the middle. Your right side died immediately, but your left side...

[DoughnutShaped]

drank some beer. You died.

[Emptyspraycan]

So you turned into a monkey ghost but accidently...

[JeremyR]

...the ghostbusters were after you, so you...

[melonfish]

started dancing to the ghostbusters music even though they were all chasing you and you thought well ive died before so i dont really care what happens but for no blatent reason a monty python foot landed on the four 80's blokes and you went to whatever you used to be like before you were a ghost. then...

[Hydralisk]

the fridge 30th expiditionary fleet attacks Earth and you...

[bmfy.]

die. Again. As you walk up the stairway to heaven, you see a lady everyone knows, and shes buying the stairway to heaven as you're on it. You hurry up to heaven before she buys it, but it's too late. The lady you all know has bought the stairway to heaven. You then...

[wizman]

beg to be let into heaven but she says "no" and then you fall back down to Earth and you here her say "you can have one more go on Earth" and the...

[brocky]

..moment he did fall back he was cursed with having the god awful led zepplin song that is 'stairway to heaven' lodged in his ghostly brain for all of eternity, and that would make him go completely...

[frambonia]

...Insane in teh membrane. So insane that he started listnening to cyprus hill non-stop to get "Stairway to Heaven" out of his head, while breakdancing. But then hile doing a dodecahedron head-spin, he...