flamelitface
10-09-2006, 10:19 AM
My experience with the Inland Revenue is not a good one, although it has only begun about a week ago. I have been taxed approximately 22 percent of my pay when I should be taxed precisely 0.
So I thought to myself, "OK, simple enough, I'll just phone them". But where to find the number? I searched on their website for their homepage, clicked their "Contact Us" link. And then it offers me different areas for phoning them, one of which is the General Enquiries which apparently "provide guidance on a particular subject". What part of that description suggests this is an area for general enquiries?
Anyway, after a lot of searching I finally got to a list of phone numbers that dealt with every kind of tax situation except my own. I even used a tax calculator and was given a link to contact the tax office to notify them I was paying too much tax, but this link just lead to the horror that is the Inland Revenues contact page. One can only assume that this is a ploy of the tax office to retain as much money as possible.
Now after an hour of being severely pissed off, I rang the Inland Revenue tax and confidential office just to talk to someone, even if it was the inappropriate number. I had a lovely session of being put on hold for about five minutes whilst they played me some tedious classical music, trying to tempt me to put the phone down, and I swear I heard a quiet voice whispering, "Don't talk to us, we are too incompetent to solve your problems".
When they finally answered (which was almost in the same year I began ringing them), they gave me a Spanish Inquisition before I was able to actually say what my problem was. My national insurance number, my house name, hair colour, favourite cereal etc. were all apparently necessary for them to know before they eventually said, "Ah, you are using the wrong number." Well, yes, I could have told you that, but they did give me the correct number for my problem. So I rang this number, and I was put on hold for twenty minutes, in which I became extremely familiar with the song Pachelbel's Canon.
When I finally got through (again), I told them about my problems, and was asked for another few details about myself. Then came the bombshell. "You don't have a record Mr Craggs." Don't have a record? I don't have a record! The Inland Revenue will not acknowledge my existence but it will be happy to steal my fucking money when it wants to. Yes, I'd be happy to just dish out my money to an organisation whose cumalative IQ's reaches that of a grain of sand.
I am about to make my third phone call, if this doesn't work, I'm kidnapping the head of the Inland Revenue and I shall demand they let the chimps take over to give us a cheaper and more effective Tax Office.
I have just made that call, and now I need to get a P46 form. And then maybe, sometime I shall get the £220 back that they have stolen from me. In the meanwhile, I am going to the Zoo to find some suitable replacements.
So I thought to myself, "OK, simple enough, I'll just phone them". But where to find the number? I searched on their website for their homepage, clicked their "Contact Us" link. And then it offers me different areas for phoning them, one of which is the General Enquiries which apparently "provide guidance on a particular subject". What part of that description suggests this is an area for general enquiries?
Anyway, after a lot of searching I finally got to a list of phone numbers that dealt with every kind of tax situation except my own. I even used a tax calculator and was given a link to contact the tax office to notify them I was paying too much tax, but this link just lead to the horror that is the Inland Revenues contact page. One can only assume that this is a ploy of the tax office to retain as much money as possible.
Now after an hour of being severely pissed off, I rang the Inland Revenue tax and confidential office just to talk to someone, even if it was the inappropriate number. I had a lovely session of being put on hold for about five minutes whilst they played me some tedious classical music, trying to tempt me to put the phone down, and I swear I heard a quiet voice whispering, "Don't talk to us, we are too incompetent to solve your problems".
When they finally answered (which was almost in the same year I began ringing them), they gave me a Spanish Inquisition before I was able to actually say what my problem was. My national insurance number, my house name, hair colour, favourite cereal etc. were all apparently necessary for them to know before they eventually said, "Ah, you are using the wrong number." Well, yes, I could have told you that, but they did give me the correct number for my problem. So I rang this number, and I was put on hold for twenty minutes, in which I became extremely familiar with the song Pachelbel's Canon.
When I finally got through (again), I told them about my problems, and was asked for another few details about myself. Then came the bombshell. "You don't have a record Mr Craggs." Don't have a record? I don't have a record! The Inland Revenue will not acknowledge my existence but it will be happy to steal my fucking money when it wants to. Yes, I'd be happy to just dish out my money to an organisation whose cumalative IQ's reaches that of a grain of sand.
I am about to make my third phone call, if this doesn't work, I'm kidnapping the head of the Inland Revenue and I shall demand they let the chimps take over to give us a cheaper and more effective Tax Office.
I have just made that call, and now I need to get a P46 form. And then maybe, sometime I shall get the £220 back that they have stolen from me. In the meanwhile, I am going to the Zoo to find some suitable replacements.