Hilarious/stupid present ideas.

[Cactusman]

I was talking with some friends (yes, i do have friends) in school today and we were taking over what to get people for Christmas, one of my friends wanted just, anything really, a random present, so we sent him away and after much thought, one friend decided on a cabbage, one friend decided on a dairy milk chocolate bar, and I decided on a cheese grater. Please tell me really funny ideas for stupid presents.

[Dante!]

i bought a friend a growth chart once. It had a big dolphin on it and only went up to 1 metre in length. I just decided on that because he was shorter than the rest of us. I've gotten someone Mushroom ketchup before, and a couple of people some 'fluff'.

fluff is marshmellow mix!

Oh and actually, the guy i bought the growth chart for, we laugh about normal words in the english language which sound a bit odd, at least in our accent. so i got him some Spam, a Spatula and a Ladle

[Mr Salek]

I have a thread on secret santa presents, take a look there.

[Roxsie]

Go to the pound shop with about a fiver and see what you can get. For a friends birthday we ended up buying him a giant velvet flower and a double sided axe which made clanking sounds.

He was chuffed to bits.

We do this semi regularly...

[Chilly pepper]

an egg
can of petrol
coat hangers
a picture of your sister
a spanner
light bulb
you'll probably find better ideas in a shop.

[tom93]

My friend's a vegetarian, and last year he said he hadn't eaten bananas in a while. In like, March. I remembered that for the whole year and got him a banana. He laughed.

[Mercury126]

The funniest present Ive ever given was probably a salmon. I bought a small-ish sized salmon at a fish shop, wrapped it up and gave it to him. He opened it and just looked at it. Shortly afterwards I found it in my Irish book.

[octopus360]

1. Squirt all of the jam out of a doughnut and replace it with ketchup. Hilarious to watch people eat it. Ha! Ha! Ha!

2. When recording your vioce mail thing (the "leave your name and number after the beep" thing) sya "Hello?", pretending your really there. Keeep going "Hello? Hello? I can't hear you. You sound gay!".etc. Funny when you listen to the persons message.

[octopus360]

1. Squirt all the jam out of a doughnut and replace it with ketchup. Hilarious to watch some one eat it.
2. When recording the voice mail thing (the "leave you name and number after the beep" thing) keep saying "Hello? Hello? Is anybody there? I can't hear you. Could you speak louder please? Arghhhh! Too loud. I'm going deaf?" etc. etc. Funny when you listen to the message

[Flava Dave]

Go to the pound shop with about a fiver and see what you can get. For a friends birthday we ended up buying him a giant velvet flower and a double sided axe which made clanking sounds.

He was chuffed to bits.

We do this semi regularly...


By semi-regularly I take it you mean "once a year"?

[kotu]

Christmas decorations

[T3-X]

My brother has been losing hair lately, and he seems to want to show it off by spiking it up, so I'm getting him Rogaine.

[Roxsie]

By semi-regularly I take it you mean "once a year"?

Birthdays and Christmas :P

[LeoZ]

I got my friend a packet of blue tac because he's obsessed with the stuff but also the b3ta bumper book of sick jokes. Which has a section on Jew jokes. I should mention at this point that his parents are Jews (a fact he's always joking about). And that I may have written

'it sucks to be jew you'

in his card. they don't really like me anymore.

[Preasure]

Go to the pound shop with about a fiver and see what you can get. For a friends birthday we ended up buying him a giant velvet flower and a double sided axe which made clanking sounds.
I did a poundland secret santa once. Didn't put much effort into it, and got someone a battery. :p

[CoffeeMachine]

I got a pineaplle from my girlfriend, can anyone make up a pineapple based innuendo/double entendre to give in return?

[Chavvy]

put pineapple rings on your cock and tell her to tuck in?

[CoffeeMachine]

It may be sick, but I'm tempted.

If only I hadn't thrown the pineapple out.

[i_stalk_badgers]

There's always more pineapple, my friend.

I know someone who once sent a friend a lemon in the post, stamped and addressed.