Nicknames

[Zhyl]

What funny nicknames of people have you heard of?

This thread is not about what your nickname or whatever is because that would be pointless and, indeed, rather boring. Instead, I'm asking for humorous nicknames that you have heard of which are funny in a not-so-obvious way. Someone with size 14 shoes being called "big foot" is probably not going to give a great laugh because it doesn't really need any explanation. Again, just printing a load off google isn't the point either.

Here are some of my favourite examples:

"Alf" which was for a bloke in the section house back when my dad joined the force. It stood for "Arrogant little fucker". He suffered from SAS (short-arse syndrome) which made him always see the need to blow his own trumpet.

"Thrush" is a name I use myself for a boy on my bus, because he is an irritating axe wound.

An Australian woman used to be known at school as "The Head Girl". It was not a term of office.

[Tweekish]

I went to primary school with a kid everyone called Bam Bam. Even his family called him that but it wasnt his real name. I have no idea what that was.

He was kinda quiet too....

[The Noise]

Everybody including family,teacher,friends, and even people I don't know call me Ham

[edit] oh wait I just completely read the top and this shouldn't be here

[Purple Wabbit]

Met a guy last night who everyone calls Flop.

Lol.

It's actually because he's failed his driving test 7 times, but the implied sexual overtones for the dirty-minded are pure genius :p

[four styx]

Not especially funny, but a guy in my Scout troop was quite a big lad so got the nickname Bones

He really didn't like it & told us so often that it wasn't his name that we did the decent thing and renamed him...

Not Bones (as in "I've told you twenty times, my name's not Bones)

[Arnuma]

This isn't really a nickname but if I can't remember someones name I use observation like calling this one one guy 'tall kid' cause he's taller than everyone at school

[da-geezer]

There's "new boy" who came to our school midway through year nine. We're both 21 now and he's still "new boy".

"Sticky" got his name as he stuck all his housemate's possesions to the ceiling for a laugh one evening.

[BiggyG]

I'm housemates with a guy who doesn't wash. ever. we started calling him fartin martin, but behind his back called him festering martin. then its been abbreviated to FM. he has no idea what FM means, and is actually proud of his nickname

[HeavyT]

I am called HeavyT sometimes by my friends, as well as Tbone and TMoney.

The mine manager calls me Big T.

Right now my friends and I are on this "dickface" thing right now. When ever we see eachother we'll say something like "Hey dickface what's goin' on?" If you react to it you lose and therefore are a dickface. If you just calmly go with the flow and respond if dickface were your name, then your cool.

I call my girlfriend Sweet Potatoe cause she knows I love sweet potatoes and because it also bugs her :p

[Hydralisk]

I know someone called chompy because he ate an entire box of chomps [about 100 bars + in it].

Another friend is called boom-boom, why I have no idea :/

[T-Bear]

Many people in my school decided to call me skateboard pete, as my name appears in some sort of rap song, along with the word skateboard.

[captain canuck]

guy i knew was nicknamed "Lobe" for reasons which didn't have anything to do with his big ears, surprisingly...

the real source was something apparently far more naughty, but i never found out exactly what.

[Qu1f]

Off topic but im known as "cueball" for my round head.

[Cactusman]

My friend in my tutor group at school is called 'Chico.' Sorta like the singer only my friend got his name about two years before he appeared on the televisionmograph. No-one even knows why. Not even he knows. Strange.

[Swirl]

This boy in 6th form (I'm in year 11) is called 'Business Studies!?!?!' whenever me and Inky see him, because the first time we talked to him he told us that he was doing business studies, and Inky said 'Business Studies!?!?!' sarcastically. It kind of stuck.
There's this kid in our class that me and friends call a range of different nicknames, some being 'Bosch', 'Pollard', 'Tebor', 'Gosh' and 'No Josh'.

[Mat^]

Many people in my school decided to call me skateboard pete, as my name appears in some sort of rap song, along with the word skateboard.
When the pimp's in the crib ma
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
Drop it like it's hot
When the pigs try to get at ya
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
Park it like it's hot
And if a nigga get a attitude
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
Pop it like it's hot
I got the rolly on my arm and I'm pouring Chandon
And I roll the best weed cause I got it going on

Uh! I'm a nice dude, with some nice dreams
See these ice cubes, see these Ice Creams?
Eligible bachelor, million dollar boat
That's whiter than what's spilling down your throat
The Phantom, exterior like fish eggs
The interior like suicide wrist red
I can excercise you, this can be your Phys. Ed
Cheat on your man ma, that's how you get ahizzead
Killer wit the beat, I know killers in the street
Wit the steel that'll make you feel like Chinchilla in the heat
So don't try to run up on my ear talking all that raspy shit
Trying to ask me shit
When my niggaz fill ya vest they ain't gon pass me shit
You should think about it, take a second
Matter fact, you should take four B
And think before you fuck wit lil skateboard Pete

I'm a gangsta, but y'all knew that
Da Big Bo$$ Dogg, yeah I had to do that
I keep a blue flag hanging out my backside
But only on the left side, yeah that's the Crip side
Ain't no other way to play the game the way I play
I cut so much you thought I was a DJ
[scratches] "two!" - "one!" - "yep, three!"
S-N double O-P, D-O double G
I can't fake it, just break it, and when I take it
See I specialize in making all the girls get naked
So bring your friends, all of y'all come inside
We got a world premiere right here, now get live!
So don't change the dizzle, turn it up a little
I got a living room full of fine dime brizzles
Waiting on the Pizzle, the Dizzle and the Shizzle
G's to the bizzack, now ladies here we gizzo

I'm a Bad Boy, wit a lotta ho's
Drive my own cars, and wear my own clothes
I hang out tough, I'm a real Bo$$
Big Snoop Dogg, yeah he's so sharp
On the TV screen and in the magazines
If you play me close, you're on a red beam
Oh you got a gun so you wanna pop back?
AK47 now nigga, stop that!
Cement shoes, now I'm on the move
You're family's crying, now you on the news
They can't find you, and now they miss you
Must I remind you I'm only here to twist you
Pistol whip you, dip you then flip you
Then dance to this motherfucking music we crip to
Subscribe nigga, get yo issue
Baby come close, let me see how you get loose!

Snooooooooooop.
Snooooooooooop..

[BlueIncaPilot]

This guy who was one of our friends had the biggest jaw in the world. Accordingly, his nicknames were Desperate Dan from the Beano and Jonathon Creek. He was also a 'master junior baker' and thus became also Pilsbury the Dough Boy.

[Repine]

A boy in the year below me who goes on my bus is referred to as "Dave" even though his name is Sam. Dave is a shortened version of a phrase coined a couple of years ago, "One Bollock Dave" after a nasty biking accident left him with only one...well you can work out the rest.

[Stealth Chimp]

This guy who was one of our friends had the biggest jaw in the world. Accordingly, his nicknames were Desperate Dan from the Dandy and Jonathon Creek. He was also a 'master junior baker' and thus became also Pilsbury the Dough Boy.

Get it right.

[UMIST_For_Ever]

Get it right.


LOL!


My housemate calls his little sister "Arsemunch" all of the time and it really pisses her off...
Neither party can explain where it came from though.


My friends and I jokingly use "arse-fez" when we are annoyed with one another and we call one guy in our group "cock-block" becaue he has had countless opportunities to get a girlfriend but he always makes excuses up making himself look utterly, utterly pathetic.
(No, he's not gay)

[Weebl22]

Fish Eye Mike.

His eyes are farther apart than they should be.


McWhores for all my friends who work at McDonalds.

[codename_47]

Well, there was this TV show called Farscape where the Main character randomly called people by nicknames because he was lost in an Alien world and calling people by nicknames was one small way to make sense of it all.

So most people I know (and like) are either called Harvey, Sparky or Pip....(Pip is usually reserved for girls I like...dunno why....)

I'm not actually sure anyone has noticed this.....

[sushi.]

I have called my childhood best friend Toad since we were about 7. I think his mom called him 'toadface' once because she was irritated that he wasn't doing some chore or another (a strange woman). I guess I just picked it up and ran with it.

[AngryPaul]

Matter fact, you should take four B
And think before you fuck wit lil skateboard PeteShame. Its really Skateboard P.

Being Pharrell n'all.

[Cactusman]

A boy in the year below me who goes on my bus is referred to as "Dave" even though his name is Sam. Dave is a shortened version of a phrase coined a couple of years ago, "One Bollock Dave" after a nasty biking accident left him with only one...well you can work out the rest.
One what? Please tell me!

[BlueIncaPilot]

Get it right.

No I bloody won't, I don't call it him nor do I read the damn thing so why do I care?

[Shiny]

Beano > Dandy, that's why. Although Desperate Dan IS awesome.

[Arkwright]

I know a guy called Ziphead because as a teenager he flipped his car whilst drunk-driving home from a party and split his head open.

The resulting staples in his head that he was given at A&E looked like a zip across his bald head, hence Ziphead.

[monkey magic]

Friend of a friend is called 'Scratty Boy', although I've met him and he's not exactly scratty.
My ginger friend gets called all manner of fanta related things by a guy from a coffee shop in my town. the most recent (being chrimbo and all) is Fanta Clause.

And Ret Face, who's this guy not one likes. and he has the face of a ret.

[voiceofcod]

Gibbon.

1st week of school, the kid bends over to pick something up.

His trousers rip (he's chubby).

He's clearly observed to be wearing red y-fronts.

Gibbon.

Nine years later, it's still going strong. Even the teachers called him it. FYI, he's the only person I've ever met with hair on the end of his nose. We tried to encourage him to grow a two-tiered moustache, but he refused. He normally just had nose-stubble.

Ziphead

Best so far.

[5thTime]

Gibbon.

1st week of school, the kid bends over to pick something up.

His trousers rip (he's chubby).

He's clearly observed to be wearing red y-fronts.

Gibbon.

Nine years later, it's still going strong. Even the teachers called him it. FYI, he's the only person I've ever met with hair on the end of his nose. We tried to encourage him to grow a two-tiered moustache, but her refused. He normally just had nose-stubble.

I thought it was baboons that had red bums?

Search
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You searched for red bum monkey [Index]
Jump to: navigation, search

For more information about searching Wikipedia, see Wikipedia:Searching.

No page with that title exists.

:(

[Redux]

My brother was in Spanish class, and each kid has to pick a mexican't nickname. One of the kids picked the nickname Taco, and everyone calls him taco now. Most people don't even know his real name. Neither does my brother.

I have a friend who is about 5'5". The guy used to weigh about 215 lbs., which is pretty ridiculous for such a short guy. Anyhow, we called him Gnome one day, and it just kind of stuck. He lost a lot of weight, though, so he kind of ruined it.

I have a friend who I used to call Atari. That nickname didn't stick for too long, because it's based on a pretty tragic thing. What happened was-

~*Rated AO (Adults ONLY)*~

My friend has never been a champion with the ladies. Awhile back, he somehow met this one girl, and they were going pretty well together. They went to her apartment and, for whatever reason, they decided to fool around in the closet. So she was about to give him a hand job, and she figured she'd try the stuff she saw on those pornos she watched. Except she watched a few pornos where they do a lot of strange, rough stuff. Anyhow, she grabbed my friends Clarence and proceeded to work it like an arcade joystick. She was really violent about it. My friend said he screamed like a girl.

[Fish Finger]

My nickname is Tom because it's short for Thomas

[Mercury126]

There was a hobo who lived in the school grounds. You'd occassionly see him wondering around the grounds in his anorak. He was called "Mat the jap" I have no idea where the "Mat" came from but he was Japanese. Whenever we had a dance/ball thing you'd see him wondering around stuffing himself with sandwiches. Violent basterd too, had a stick he'd give you whack with for no apparent reasen.

[cyber_turnip]

I know a series of people who I've nicknamed based on shouting random words at them to scare them. These are Wallaby Jim, Peachagloo and my personal favourite Monsieur Turtle Wax.

There's a tiny guy I know called David (wait for it)... David Longman! We didn't need to nickname him, but we did anyway, Big Dave, based on that pot noodle ad a while back.


Then there's Johnny Three Legs.

"Well why do you call him that?"

"Because he hasn't got three legs."

Sorry, couldn't resist a little Ricky Gervais podcast reference for those of you who get it... I think I may have ballsed up the quote though.

[Bappel]

I know a guy that is known as Bajsen (The Poop in english). There is a good reason why, so no unknown reason which this thread is all about. But I still think its funny. He is called Bajsen(The Poop) becous he took a shit in a trashbin a night when he was pissed like hell.
And then we have a guy called Saggen (The Jizz). He got that name from a girl he slept with. When he took off his pants the underwear was all sticky and shit from the jizz.

[octopus360]

My friends call me Damien, even though its not my name. Apparently its because i'm evil and really annoying, so i'm the son of satan
:twisted: :evil: :mad: :slash:

[kotu]

Instead, I'm asking for humorous nicknames that you have heard of which are funny in a not-so-obvious way. Someone with size 14 shoes being called "big foot" is probably not going to give a great laugh because it doesn't really need any explanation.

My grandad is big-necky.

*fetches coat*

[LeoZ]

This guy who was one of our friends had the biggest jaw in the world. Accordingly, his nicknames were Desperate Dan from the Beano and Jonathon Creek. He was also a 'master junior baker' and thus became also Pilsbury the Dough Boy.

Desperate Dan is from The Dandy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dandy) :mad:

[Dangar]

My friends nicknames is KoalaFart he got the name because onetime we went to the zoo on a tour and we got to pets a koala and he held one and well.... it farted (OHMYGOSH) True fact folks, koalas do fart.

[BlueIncaPilot]

Desperate Dan is from The Dandy

You need to read the thread mate you're behind.