Parent lies

[octopus360]

What lies did your parents tell you when you were younger? Nothing obvious, like Santa is real (for everyone who still believes in Santa, that last statement was false, of course Santa's real) or that the stork brings babies.

For example; i remember watching a programme and it mentioned dogging. When i asked my mum she said it was bad people who go out stealing dogs. I believed this for years and used to feel bad for the dogs who were getting stolen.

[Furnie]

I remember (well I was told about), when I was going aboard for the first time, and I was on the plane. I was told not to press the buttons on the arm rest as they make the wings fall off.
On the subject of planes, me and my Dad used to have conversations when we were in the air about what would go wrong, and how the plane would crash if something happened (i.e. a wing fell off, or the engines catching fire). Thinking about it, I suppose we should have been more considerate of others sitting near us who may have had a fear of flying and were bravely facing their fears.

[Scrumpopolis]

I remember (well I was told about), when I was going aboard for the first time, and I was on the plane. I was told not to press the buttons on the arm rest as they make the wings fall off.

I've a very similar one, my Dad told me that the handbrake made the wheels of the car fall off (we had a very steep driveway). Magicly it never worked when he used it.

[Simon]

I wasnt told this by my parents, but I used to believe the button on top of the handbrake was the self destruct button. I wanted to try it out, but I was always too scared to.

[Furnie]

Woo memories flooding back. When me and my sister were been a pain in the back of the car our parents used to threaten to set off the ejector seats.

[Fish Finger]

My mum got me to eat squid by telling me it was chicken.

Yuk.

[Simon]

Woo memories flooding back. When me and my sister were been a pain in the back of the car our parents used to threaten to set off the ejector seats.

Advise they dont set them off with the handbrake button. Thats the self destruct button.

I opened one of my birthday presents early once, but my mum wasnt sure whether it was me or my brother. She said she was going to get a hypnotist to find out.

My dad however was nothing like that. I was watching tv downstairs and when confronted with the term, I asked my dad what ejaculation was. He told me it was cumming. That was the end of that conversation. I think I knew what that meant at the time....

[Shiny]

I didn't want to eat some red pepper on a kebab at a barbeque when I was little, so me Mum told me it was red lamb.

I only remember this and lol slightly at it because of how odd it is. And how blatant it was that it wasn't lamb.

Funny how times change, isn't it? I'm now a vegetarian, and I bloody love peppers of all colours :D

Just not the chilli ones...

[zero defex.]

once there was a little girl who was playing with the electric window on the car and she leant out the window and her mummy closed the window and chopped the girl's head right off.

needless to say, i never stuck any limb out of those windows.

[Taysmith]

My mum got me to eat squid by telling me it was chicken.

Yuk.

That's how my mum got me to eat duck with my pancakes whenever we went to a Chinese restaurant.

[Simon]

I didn't want to eat some red pepper on a kebab at a barbeque when I was little, so me Mum told me it was red lamb.

I only remember this and lol slightly at it because of how odd it is. And how blatant it was that it wasn't lamb.

Funny how times change, isn't it? I'm now a vegetarian, and I bloody love peppers of all colours :D

Just not the chilli ones...

Veggie? You disgust me. Didnt your mother ever tell you if you dont eat meat you wont grow any brains?

No?

Nor did mine oddly enough.

[Turkey Sandwich]

I got the usual 'carrots make you see in the dark' thing, but I think everyone gets that at some point.

Oh, and 'the worse the medicine tastes, the better it is for you'.

[Artto]

Once they tried to make me eat a rabbit by saying it was a chicken

[Thunderjew]

When i was a kid i disliked rice. Then my mother told me that it was little spaghetties. I ate it with joy...

I was also told that if you ate the seeds inside an apple, trees would grow out of your body.. That just made me eat them even more lol

When i asked my littlebrothers father (at the time he was with my mom) what the red button was in the car, he told me that it would make the engine blow up and the front window to fall out. Later i discovered that it was the button for the emergency lights...

[four styx]

Parsnips. Fackin' parsnips.

I really don't like root vegetables and told my mum so on many different occasions. Always met with the phrase "well, you used to like 'em".

This based on the fact that I used to eat parsnips when she cut them exactly the same way as if they were chips (French/Freedom fries) and roasted them the same inviting brown colour and then hid them amongst the chips.

You'd think the whole "spitting them across the room" thing would suffice to enlighten her that I wasn't a fan, but apparently not.

[fzz]

i was told the whole " eat the crusts on your bread and they'll make your hair go curly"

which is so stupid since i didnt want curly hair.... and i used to beleive if your got a screwdriver and tried to unscrew your bellybutton your skin would fall off, how gullible am i.

[The Visioneer]

I got the usual 'carrots make you see in the dark' thing, but I think everyone gets that at some point.

Oh, and 'the worse the medicine tastes, the better it is for you'.
Actually, carrots do help you see in the dark. FACT

[duckmanTTF]

Wasn't that made up during WWII to hide the fact that we had radar?

Basically German people wondered how our pilots could see their aircraft when it was dark so it was put about that it was because our pilots ate lots of carrots. This may also have been used to get people in the UK to eat more carrots.

So no, not true.

I'd like to get back on topic, but I can't think of any. My parents have always been very honest.

[Roxsie]

When i wouldn't eat tortellini with spinich in it my mum told me it was special green cheese.

[The Visioneer]

Wasn't that made up during WWII to hide the fact that we had radar?

Basically German people wondered how our pilots could see their aircraft when it was dark so it was put about that it was because our pilots ate lots of carrots. This may also have been used to get people in the UK to eat more carrots.

So no, not true.

I'd like to get back on topic, but I can't think of any. My parents have always been very honest.
Don't make me get Biological on your ass. Carrots improve night vision. I can bore you with the science, or you can just believe me.

[Turkey Sandwich]

Carrots only improve night vision as much as anything else with Vitamin A in, so they're sometimes used as a source of it.
It's not like if you eat loads of them, you'll be able to see really well in the dark, which is what parents always tell their children!

[Macca]

If you eat enough carrots you turn orange.

FACT

My mum used to tell me I was handsome.

[Blargo]

There was a stray cat that hung out by our house, then I named it. Then it dissapeared, I was told it ran away. I later was told it really got squashed by a truck and my dad saw it.

[Daaan!]

The very familiar

'Don't pull your face like that, cos if the wind changes, it will stay that way.'

Still didnt stop me :rolleyes:

[LordTazer]

"Here you go, it's for you."

Biggest lie I've ever been told.

[Tiode]

My dad fooled me and my two brothers that unless we held our breaths whilst in a plane, the oxygen would run out and everyone would die.

Blue faces all round kids :P

[Smartie]

brilliant thread. Am now trying to think.
rated five for sheer memory-lane excellence.

[BlueberryMuffin]

When I was little I used to climb the back fence frequently to visit the next door neighbours daughter, however when my Mum found out the next door neighbour grew weed she told me that the weed plants were actually snake nests and I'd get bitten if I went over the fence.

This plan worked for a while, until that was the next door neighbour bought a trampoline :D. What's a couple of snake bites to a 5 year old when there is the prospect of trampoline fun to be had!

[BlueIncaPilot]

What lies did your parents tell you when you were younger? Nothing obvious, like Santa is real (for everyone who still believes in Santa, that last statement was false, of course Santa's real) or that the stork brings babies.


You forgot about the tooth fairy. And I was never told that storks brought babies, that was only on cartoons.

[bionic sheep]

In before "When the ice cream man rings the bell, he's run out of ice creams".

[kazyn]

Lol, I love this thread.

When my sister and I were little we used to get to go to the zoo with my dad most weekends.

Or so we thought. He was actually taking us to the local pet shop.

[Toph]

I got told that witches lived in the flats over the road.

My mom made me run past them, so they didn't have time to cast spells on me. :p

[midas22]

My mum and dad told me if i played with the handbrake the car would just flip over.

[The Noise]

*cries* IT'S ALL A CIRCLE OF LIES!!!


couldnt they just tell us *tears run down face*

[Shwee]

When I was little my folks intentionally skipped days on my advent calender so I would actually go to bed on Christmas Eve...

[Muppet]

My dad used to tell me that when the timer got to 0 on the tv it would blow up.

So many times I tried it but bottled out in the last few seconds.

[sushi.]

When I was about three, I asked my dad what the different colors of milk bottle caps meant and he told me with a completely straight face that "Red is cow milk, yellow is goat milk, and green is monkey milk."

In Weird Al's Alternative Polka, the part with Closer by NIN says, "I wanna *weird noise* you like an animal." I asked my mom why it did that, to which she replied, "Well... ah... I have no idea."

This isn't mine but: a friend of mine was watching a movie with his parents when he was very little and someone in the movie turned on a vibrator, which his parents explained was "a funny kind of flashlight".

My brother, an extremely picky eater, was convinced to eat mashed potatoes after my mom told him it was "warm ice cream".

[Slurp]

On the festive theme, when I was about 12, me Mam told me that she'd got me an educational toy for Christmas rather than the Gamecube game I'd asked for. I believed her, and very nearly cried

[Cooldudebob]

Ah the old 'go up to bed before i count to three otherwise i will turn into a monster' and 'if it is left on the floor it will be thrown out'.

[Fraek]

Every piece of meat we ate came from deer. Hence, I ate it. I loved deer.
Every fish we ate was a perch. Hence, I ate it. I loved perch.
The trolls living behind my teeth could only be driven away using toothpaste. Hence, I was reluctant to brush. THOSE POOR TROLLS!
Watching too much TV gave you rectangular eyes. This had little impact on me; what did I care what shape my eyes were?
God cared about the moles. I thought God was a right meanie.

[sushi.]

and 'if it is left on the floor it will be thrown out'.

My parents really did throw it out. =(

[Cooldudebob]

My parents really did throw it out. =(
mine was at worst placed on top of my wardrobe.

[Lyricaus]

When I was little I used to climb the back fence frequently to visit the next door neighbours daughter, however when my Mum found out the next door neighbour grew weed she told me that the weed plants were actually snake nests and I'd get bitten if I went over the fence.

This plan worked for a while, until that was the next door neighbour bought a trampoline :D. What's a couple of snake bites to a 5 year old when there is the prospect of trampoline fun to be had!
Forget trampoline fun, cannabis fun! ^_^
Anyway, lies my parents told me? I think i vaguely remember being told that putting little toy figures inside our new VCR would make them appear on the screen, causing them to come to life and jump out. Of course this made me do it, I mean who the hell wouldn't when you're a kid? :D

[LeoZ]

My mum told me it's a monster inside the VCR who pushes the video out. I would spend hours holding the flappy thing open looking for him.

[Mercury126]

I was once told by my Mum that if you watched tv for more than 2 and a half hours each day, your eyes would melt. I cant believe I fell for that for 5 years, 5 whole years!

[Thomp]

Y'know sometimes on toothbrushes that you get different coloured bristles? Yeah, well, my mum used to tell me that if I cleaned my teeth properly, the coloured bristles would shrink in size

[cyber_turnip]

i was told the whole " eat the crusts on your bread and they'll make your hair go curly"

which is so stupid since i didnt want curly hair....
I know, this actually stopped me eating crusts for fear of getting curly hair... not that I'd have eaten them anyway.

[Instinct]

We had a really friendly dog, but the dogs up the street used to bite, so to stop me from trying to sit oon them my mum told me that our dog was really an alien and that he wasnt a dog at all. AND IT WAS TRUE

[Cactusman]

This is EXCEEDINGLY stupid. When we first got the internet, about 3-4 years ago, I was told that googling 'google' would make the world implode. Don't laugh.

[UMIST_For_Ever]

My dad said he didn't know what an Ann Summers Party was (I was about 13 at the time).

In hindsight I feel like a complete twit!

[gruff]

My mum told me that if you pressed the little button thing on the top of a baseball cap the wearer's head would explode.

[Kiwibl]

My mother had a pathological fear that one of her children would end up pregnant / getting someone pregnant at an early age. Oh, the shame of a teenage pregancy! It would surely be all too much for her to cope with.

Concequently, she told my brother and I, from a very tender age - that Vagina's have teeth - nasty sharp teeth, like that of a pihrana - and that if we ever put Mr.Winkey inside of one, then the sharp, sharp teeth would clamp down visciously upon it and sever it right off!

She explained, that only when women get married, do thier vag-teeth fall out.

Later, she went on to blame herself for my homosexuality.

To this day I can't look a mimmsy in the eye.

:bb:

[octopus360]

I also remember that i was told that if you roll a dice and get a six, and then roll another, and get another 6, the die would "go bang". So, the first time i done this, i ran upstairs as fast as i could.

[Ozzylator]

Quite a bump.

Anyway, I remember my mother telling me that if I made a face, and the wind changed, it would stay that way. I kept doing it, because I didn't know what the fuck that meant. Still don't.

[evan223]

My mom told me that if i kept playing with my penis it would fall off (i was about 9/10 at the time)

[Voni]

Oh, and 'the worse the medicine tastes, the better it is for you'.

I got that too! I still half believe it, even at the ripe old age of 21. Madness.

[PinkFish]

My older sister once told me that zombies lived in the toilet and they could only come out when you flushed it.
This resulted in years of me not flushing the toilet at all, or flushing it and then running as though my life depended on it (which I though it did...)

I know this isn't a parent lie, but it counts right? =p

[0ptericus]

Wow, just wow...Looks like I had some really awesome parents. I can't recall a time they lied to me intentionally, save for the "face sticking that way" one. And that was only for about five seconds:

Me: *makes horrible face and attempts but fails to cross eyes*
Mom: You shouldn't do that- your face could stick that way.
Me: Cool! *makes worse face* Does it really work?
Mom: ...Well, no.

I think the fact that I stopped believing in Santa before Kindergarten discouraged them from trying to pull stuff over me. Same for Easter bunny and tooth fairy.

[KeirAyres]

I was told that there was a higher deity who watched over everyone in the world at all times and if you were bad at any time you'd be punished later on, kinda like santa clause.

Apparently he also created the entire universe and flooded us all, and some normal guy made a boat capable of carrying a pair of every animal alive. Oh, and I was also told to worship a carpenter from the first century.

What a crock of shit, it was all to control me- like the 'do this and the **** will break' stories.

[Extremity]

My dad told me that if I pushed down the buttons on those Mcdonalds/Burger King cup, the pepsi inside would change between Diet etc, It actually tasted different :(