Persuading Parents...

[Shwee]

Howdy y'all, here's the thing...

One of my friends has organised a 'mini-break' in the summer to a cottage in the lakes. At that point the older folks going will be 17 nearly 18, and the younger ones (myself included) will be 16. There would be 10 of us going and no parents, but the lady who owns (and lives on the other side of) the semi-detatched barn we'd be staying at has promised to look in on us everyday to check we're alright. It would be £80, but it's not the price my folks are bothered about, it's the lack of adult.

They insist on having a parent there to look after us. I don't want to spoil anyones hoiday but I really want to go and its unlikely I'd be able to without a parent there.

Can anyone think of some decent arguments that I could put forward to my folks to persuade them to let me go without a parent? (Maybe you're a parnet whose kid talked you round or maybe you've been in a similar situation...) Help would be much appreciated :)

(Was thinking about putting this in Debates but decided Pap would be better, apologies if you think different)

[Mr Salek]

Tell them it's a growing up thing. You're going to be living on your own eventually, so why shouldn't you be allowed to try it out now? It's great practice, especially as you can seek help from the people you're staying with. Do you and your parents know the people you'll be staying with? If not, try introducing some of them so they can see you'll (hopefully!) be in safe hands.

[Corn_Fest]

Explain that there will be people who almost or are 18 there and therefore there will legally be adults there, so you'll be fine. Might work.

Or you can always sue your parents.

[Shwee]

Sueing them is tempting, but I do want to live here for another 3-4 years before Uni so I don't think they'd appreciate that :p

I think the intoduction is the best way to go (though I will have to order my frands to be on their best behaviour)

Not sure when I have to confirm that I'm going or not though, do they really have to be so protective?

[Instinct]

Parents worry about sex. So Think up a good reason you won't be doing that, and you're sorted.

Good arguments -

"Not all teens think about just that, ma. Just the ones on TV"

or

"Trust me, I'm sensible"

It works for me ..

Edit: Its not any more protective than they should be.

[Mat^]

"What would I get up to anyway? The towns been dry all week maaaan"

[Shwee]

Separate bedrooms for me and my boyfriend it is then, I like the sensible idea, my parents think I'm sensible. I could always rest it on good GCSE results...

[WraithMaster]

Ah so there's a boyfriend involved. There's your reason why your parents are acting this way right there. My parents still got all protective when I mentioned going with my (now ex) girlfriend to a cabin for a week over the summer, even with adults there, and I'm nearly 20! Fact of the matter is that your parents don't wanna see you make a...um, mistake (if you catch my drift).

Perhaps it would be a good idea to mention to them that you'll be in seperate rooms and that an adult would definitely be there to check in. Trust me on this one though, school grade bartering only gets you so far...sheesh I remember having to lie to my parents about some things. I don't recommend that though, it's an easy route to trouble.

[Shwee]

Drift caught, and they don't know he's going in the first place, and there will be no mistakes made, holiday or not!
Sounds pathetic but I hate lying to my parents, I do it too often, I tell them enough to keep them happy, but not enough for them to worry. I may see if I can get them talking to the guy who has organised it, and his parents, see if that changes their minds.

[Hydralisk]

Just make up the name of a friend and say he is 19, boosh sorted.

[Cactusman]

Tell them they'll have a lot more time to themselves.

[Preasure]

Push the trust and responsible angle. Persude them you'll be well behaved, use past events where you've been good. And be helpful around the house to get them in a good mood.

[girlinthepink]

Cry...! Not really, explain that they will never trust you if they don't give you a chance to earn their trust. I moved out of home when I was 16 (to college) and it was brilliant haveing no rents and no rules and my mum didn't mind because I was only a phone call away and because I can't lie for shit she always knew what I was up to. If they still say no then tell them you are going to sell your body on the streets to pay for the holiday yourself and because you'll be a working girl you can do what you want so they can't stop you!

[Purple Wabbit]

It does sound as if your parents are simply concerned about you, rather than trying to be cruel. Thus like others have said, you'll just have to convince them that you are worthy of the responsibility.

First off, sit them down and talk to them calmly about it. Explain why you want to go, who is going, where you are going, etc. Then tell them that you believe it would be a good chance for you to get some experience of independence. Any concerns they do voice, try to deal with calmly, and compromise; for example, if they say they are worried about what will happen if you have an accident, tell them that you'll have your mobile (assuming you have one) with you and they can phone you whenever they want.

The idea of letting them meet the people you'll be going with is a very good one, it'll both relax them because they'll know who you'll be with and show them that you're trying to be responsible and put their fears at rest.

Above all, do not lose your temper at any time, even if you think they're being unreasonable/unfair - it will just make them see you as immature and unfit for the responsibility of going away without them. Compromise if you can't get what you want any other way - if they really won't budge, try suggesting that they come and stay somewhere near-by, so that they can check up on you but you and your friends still have some freedom.

As long as you're adult about it, they should agree, unless they're completely unreasonable. Good luck anyway :)

[Turkey Sandwich]

I don't know if there's to be any activity your parents would consider unsavoury, but if there is, under no circumstances should you mention it. If there isn't, then also don't say there won't be - because as Murphy's Law would have it, they probably haven't even considered that, but now it'll be in the front of their mind.

Basically I would agree with everyone else that you should push the 'I'm sensible' angle. Reason it out, and explain how everything will be fine.
If you know there's something they'll worry about unnecessarily, then just gloss over it (or just lie if you have to).

[Chilly pepper]

tell them that it will make you get used to being on your own. if anything dose go wrong, plenty older people will be there

[Shwee]

Mini-bump just to say thankyou :)

[EDIT] and that they are now considering letting me go :D I am going to be an angel for the next few months!!

[missparkinsarno]

I'm not sure how I did it but you do have a chance... I managed to persuade my parents to let my boyfriend sleep in my room with me over Christmas! I went on about how we're both adults, we're in a serious relationship and how I want them to trust me not to get up to anything under their roof... The trust one is always good... Parents don't like the idea that they're untrusting of you... Also that they need to let you grow and learn things yourself... That's how I got to go to Download festival with a group of mates a couple of years ago when I wasn't an adult!