The Vending Machine

[Clowsrule]

You get a rich guy

I insert a clow

[maldirth]

You get a clow-n.

I insert myself.

[Shintaz]

You come out with broken bones, gear marks and oil all over you.

I insert your half dead body.

[Mister Qwerty]

The world gets eternal happiness and laughter.

I insert ur mum.

[big-chip]

you get his dad

I insert some crumpets.

[rachel ^_^]

you get an owl clutching a half eaten scone

i insert a monkey smoking a pipe and telling people he remembers when this was all fields

[Shintaz]

You get a druggy.

I insert a star.

[rachel ^_^]

you get a map of pluto

i insert a sock puppet

[maldirth]

You get Emu.

I insert a new £20 note.

[InsanityPrawn]

you get shredded money.

InsanityPrawn inserts a telekenetically bent spoon

[Shintaz]

You recieve a telekenetically straightened fork.

I insert a wallet.

[happy-go-lucky]

You recive identity theft.

I insert all the stupid rain stopping me leaving the house.

[noidtluom]

You get an umbrella, and a note telling you life isn't only computers.

I insert a really bad pun that goes like this:
"What do you say to the computer teacher who offers you a cup of tea?"

[InsanityPrawn]

you get DELETED!!!

InsanityPrawn inserts waffels!

[happy-go-lucky]

You get an odd burning smell.

I insert a scarf.

[rachel ^_^]

you get a space moster vaguely resembling a knotted scarf covered in beans

i insert some bricks and mortar

[maldirth]

You get a poky council flat.

I insert Mister Qwerty, the moaning forumite.

[happy-go-lucky]

You get two moaning guys:D

I insert whatever is left of Maldirth from the last two times he's been through the machine.

[rachel ^_^]

you get a beef casserole

i insert lip balm

[Small Fry]

rachel gets a pound of those soapy lip sweets that you get from the cheap corner shop down your street, that you know aren't good for you but want to eat for personal sacrifice anyway.

Small Fry inserts a forum.

[maldirth]

Small Fry gets a group of people who use intolerant terms like 'retard'
to flame intolerant forum users.

Maldirth inserts a spanner.

[Shintaz]

maldirth recieves a degree in engineering and a fine for breaking the vending machine.

I insert a burger.

[rachel ^_^]

you get ronald mcdonald

i insert the dishwasher

[InsanityPrawn]

you get a fine of 100$

InsanityPrawn inserts a mushroom

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a battalion of badgers.

I insert a note saying "thanks for the nips, mate."

[JKybett]

You get a receipt and £3.50 change

I insert 'Ello Guv'ners receipt and £3.50 change

[happy-go-lucky]

You get a £3.50 fine for theft of his money.

I insert a red pencil.

[JKybett]

you get a slightly sharper red pencil

I insert happy-go-lucky

[happy-go-lucky]

You get anti depressants and a leprechuan holding a four leaved clover.

I insert Scotland.

[JKybett]

how? your in the machine!
oh, well you get yourself

I insert my school tie

[happy-go-lucky]

you get an angry headteacher telling you to smarten yourself up.

I insert one stripy glove.

[rachel ^_^]

you get four stripy socks and a hald eaten croissant

i insert a pebble

[happy-go-lucky]

You get a little pile of sand.

I insert a poster of Jared Leto

[midas22]

And recieve a hack saw

I put in a ferris wheel ride token

[Clowsrule]

You get a ride on the ferris wheel. (duh)

I insert a chain gun

[happy-go-lucky]

You get a chain.

I insert my spanish grammer and verb tables book.

[Qwertyuiop]

I thought this game was meant to be in 3rd Person. Anyhoo...

Due to an error in the machine's system, happy-go-lucky receives Gok Wan from TV's 'How To Look Good Naked' (you win some, you lose some)

In a moment of curiosity and boredom, Qwertyuiop re-inserts Gok Wan

[Clowsrule]

You get a note that says "change you location and don't copy me"

I insert a severed head

[InsanityPrawn]

you get a severdP3N1S

InsanityPrawn inserts gin and parsley

[noidtluom]

You get "PARALYSING" - worth 16 points in scrabble without any bonuses.

noidtluom presses the buttons 4,2,3,1 on the machine.

[JKybett]

noidtluom gets nothing since you didn't insert anything

JKybett inserts £1.50 while the number 4231 is still keyed in

[rachel ^_^]

JKybett gets 150 buttons

rachel ^_^ inserts a light saber

[InsanityPrawn]

rachel^_^ gets a battle droid.

InsanityPrawn inserts InsanityPrawnBoy

[woody_tng]

InsanityPrawn gets A paradox.

Woody inserts his lifeforce.

[noidtluom]

Woody_tng receives a quick, painless death.

noidtluom inserts a key from a broken keyboard.

[rachel ^_^]

noidtluom recieves a bicycle puncture kit

rachel ^_^ inserts a rubber duckie

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a bath tub.

I insert £3.50

[InsanityPrawn]

you get 350 U.S dollars

InsanityPrawn inserts a demon and a drum, then types penis on the keypad

[Clowsrule]

InsanityPrawn gets a computer mouse

clowsrule inserts $1,000,000

[noidtluom]

clowsrule gets Microsoft Vista Personal Home copy.

noidtluom inserts a cat face. Still covered in blood, of course.

[Insanity is fun]

noidtluom receives a golden pie

Insanity is fun inserts a portal gun

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get Bob's ass

I insert 350 US dollars

[JKybett]

'Ello Guv'ner gets a broken wakeboard with a note attached; "Sorry couldn't fit the whole thing in"

JKybett inserts his avatar

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a crappy Sig!

I insert that wakeboard and note

[JKybett]

You get $346.50 and a note with "I.O.U. $3.50"

I eat a pizza and fall into the machine(thereby(great use of connectives my teachers are always telling us to use) inserting myself and the pizza)

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get spat back out with reject stamped to your forehead!

Again I insert the money and I.O.U.

[Shintaz]

It eats your money. It's now sick of you.

I insert music.

[InsanityPrawn]

Shintaz becomes deaf.

InsanityPrawn inserts the new PrawnToBeWild chapter 11

[noidtluom]

InsanityPrawn gets a spoiler.

noidtluom inserts a pirated DVD.

[happy-go-lucky]

You get a cutlass.

I insert a radio.

[Shintaz]

happy-go-lucky recieves a new plasma tv and the radio times. :)

Shintaz inserts blood. :O

[badger man]

shintaz recieves a blood test and an army of the undead

badger man inserts stripes

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a car with go-faster stripes.

I insert a gift voucher.

[happy-go-lucky]

You recieve a gift.

I insert Rhianna.

[InsanityPrawn]

You recive someone else.

InsanityPrawn inserts a seamonkey

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get sea deforestation.

I insert stolen goods.

[badger man]

you recieve a criminal record.

badger man inserts the orange light off a set of traffic lights.

[rachel ^_^]

badger man recieves a speeding fine

rachel ^_^ inserts a rather scrumptious pie

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a rather mashed pie.

I insert my criminal record.

[happy-go-lucky]

You get the eminem song criminal.

I insert a broken clock.

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a cog shot into your face.

I insert Eminem's the RE-UP.

[arw360degrees]

You get Eminem's the RE-UP back. (Not even a machine want's it!)

I insert an Actimel

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get Hammer Time.

I insert chaos.

[noidtluom]

You receive a butterfly (lol, chaos butterfly)

I insert a Clorets packet.

[happy-go-lucky]

You get a hairbrush, because I have no idea what that is.

I insert my tonsilitus.

[noidtluom]

You haven't heard of Clorets?
Surely such terrible ads as these have stuck in the minds of more than one person:
http://images.google.com.my/images?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=yjT&q=clorets&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

You get a link to Google (see above)

I insert my sympathy (sorry, how long will it be until you recover?)

['Ello Guv'ner]

You receive a thank you note.

I insert a nuke.

[arw360degrees]

You recieve massive amounts of fallout.

I insert a steaming pile of shite

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a plant.

I insert fallout.

[ObUk]

You recieve Fallout Boy

ObUk inserts some Battenberg Seepage

[InsanityPrawn]

erm, I dont know wat that is, so you get a pile of shit
InsanityPawned inserts Magical Trevor

[noidtluom]

You receive a mime act.
(Does Trevor talk?)

noidtluom inserts Pan Mee.
(Type of Asian noodles)

[Gonk]

noidtluom gets a reindeer

reaperscorp puts in some tinsel

[ObUk]

reaperscorp gets a bad case of tinselitus (ba-bum cha!)

obuk inserts a hot mince pie (the sort with brandy and cream)

[happy-go-lucky]

You get a burnt mouth.

I insert an earing.

[rachel ^_^]

you get a tongue stud

i insert a llama

[Maple Syrup]

Rachel gets a ultra-hyper-mega-super-awesome laser gun.


Maple Syrup inserts a chewed piece of bubble gum!

[Chris]

Your hair becomes Incredibly sticky.

I insert a bag of ham sandwiches.

[happy-go-lucky]

You get a pig.

I insert my first A in ages.

[carrotcake]

you get punk'd

I insert a nun

[monkeyfingers]

You recieve a gun :D
I "accidentally" insert my little sister

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a clip round the ear from your mum.

I insert fallout boy.

[carrotcake]

you get a pile of rat turd
I insert several pop ups

[InsanityPrawn]

you get arrested for theft of tents!

InsanityPrawn inserts a christmas tree

[carrotcake]

you recieve a bill

i insert my memories

[alexj9]

You get a DVD with all your memories on.

I insert My dinner.

[carrotcake]

you receive a dog and a pair of boots

I insert a tooth

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get letter saying "I'm not the tooth fairy, I'm a vending machine".

I insert the rat dropings and a note that says "Fallout Boy are good".

[carrotcake]

You get a lot of gay attention

I insert several large balls of putty

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get hairy bollocks that you start to suck!

I insert christmas decorations.

[carrotcake]

You get nothing because santa hates you

I insert a broken lightbulb

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get stabbed to death by shards of glass.

I insert carrotcakes mangled body!

[carrotcake]

You receive a punch from a nun and I get resurected ^.^

I insert the inside-out corpse of guv'nor

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get me, alive and well.

i insert the nun who punched me.

[happy-go-lucky]

You recieve the fighting nuns I saw in a shop today.

I insert a highlighter.

['Ello Guv'ner]

you get High and stare at a light.

I insert nothing.

[Shintaz]

This is a game based around creativity and humour. It is played from a 3rd person POV.

3rd person POV.

Just posting that here, so people don't forget. I started to at some point :P

'Ello Guv'ner recieves everything his heart desires.

Shintaz inserts 'Ello Guv'ner's heart. :)

[alexj9]

Shintaz recieves a good friend.

alexj9 inserts money

[JKybett]

you get a "vending co'" credit card with an interest rate of -74% APR

I insert the last rolo

[mutatedlemon]

you get air

i insert chocolate

[alexj9]

I eat the rolo you get the wrapper back.

I insert bisckits.

Sorry I'm a chocoholick or however you spell it.

[JKybett]

(chocoholic <it's that)
You get a bag of crumbs and a thank you card

I insert alexj9's chocolate addiction.

[Shintaz]

JKybett recieves an adiction to heroin.

Shintaz inserts a router.

[alexj9]

JKybett recieves faster internet connection.

alexj9 inserts a cuddly toy

[InsanityPrawn]

you get an unsafe, broken shard of glass that you start to play with

Insanity Pwned inserts an ipod

[alexj9]

You get a tape with your faverite album on it but realize you haven't got a tape deck to play it on.

I insert a tape deck.

[noidtluom]

alexj9 gets duct tape.

noidtluom inserts 50 chemistry past papers :(

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a degree in physics.

I insert a strategy game.

[Charming]

You get a game which requires no strategies, only FIGHTING! Hooray for fighting!

Charming inserts a heart-shaped piece of shortbread.

[alexj9]

You receive 50 valentine cards.

alexj9 inserts nice photos of cats and dogs.

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get nice photos of naked men and women together.

I pour in lots of boiling cheese.

[Charming]

You get a crowd of fondue lovers with 3rd degree burns.

Charming stuffs a Nando's chicken burger inside (extra hot!).

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get an chiken egg and some wheat(and what ever hot sauce is made out of).

I insert my ding dong.

[swampmonkey]

You get error message "ding dong to small, please try again later"

I insert a bottle of Olay beauty fluid, 2 figs and the president of a small south american country.

[Shintaz]

swampmonkey recieves a bottle of cheap tesco soap, 2 cigarettes and a plane ticket to Korea.

Shintaz inserts Christianity.

[Charming]

You get a lacivious looking priest.

Charming inserts some Christmas cheer and a bit of rum.

[Shintaz]

Charming commits suicide. He gets nothing from the vending machine but hatred.

Shintaz inserts a tooth.

[carrotcake]

I insert a tooth


You get letter saying "I'm not the tooth fairy, I'm a vending machine".



You get a puch for accidentaly copying a previous reply:search:
I insert a cows soul

[Charming]

Charming commits suicide. He gets nothing from the vending machine but hatred.

Shintaz inserts a tooth.

He?! Why, I'm a Charming female! Honest! And hatred at Christmas too!

You get a beefburger zombie

Charming (the girl) inserts doubts over her gender

[carrotcake]

Charming receives several sets of plastic genitals. or is it genitalia?

Carrotcake inserts himself.

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get electrocuted and shredded up by the mechanisms and things and then your family get forwarded the bill for the broken vending machine.

I insert "Star Wars"

[carrotcake]

you get a fluffy animal, a giant wasp and a toast slicer (toasts the bread while you cut like on futurama)

[kratzenbourg II]

I insert my shoes

[carrotcake]

sorry, forgot to say something *stabs myself*
You get a crocodile

carrotcake insert a cd

[Satans Trousers]

carrotcake gets dead because it is a Dave Stewart CD and he had a Dave Stewart CD so he likes Dave Stewart so he dies.

Satans Trousers inserts a chocolate monies token.

[carrotcake]

satan recieve choclate monies

Carrotcake inserts a wire

[Satans Trousers]

Carrotcake recieves an electric shock.

Satan's Trousers inserts Keith Allen

EDIT: That's not fair... Why does Satan get the chocolate monies?

[Charming]

Satan's Trousers gets half of Keith Allen back. Sadly, it is the Keith part.

Charming inserts an orangutan disguised as the former Miss World.

[carrotcake]

EDIT: That's not fair... Why does Satan get the chocolate monies?

to help him get over the shock of being exposed naked in public after having his trousers nicked.

Charming receives a cyanide pill, a balemic kit for beginners and a green peace sticker saying 'YOUR NEXT'

Carrotcake inserts token

[Satans Trousers]

All is explained...

Carrotcake recieves generic token fodder.

Satans Trousers inserts Keith again.

[Charming]

You get a bit back again. This time it's just "ith".

Charming inserts an "unauthoris'd kiss".

[Satans Trousers]

Charming gets a smacked bottom and gets told told get her kisses authoris'd first.

Satan's Trousers turns 'ith' into 'hit' and hits the machine.

[Charming]

Ooh I say! A smacked bottom is just what I wanted :)

You recieve a severe beating from a rogue snickers bar. It was self defence, I tells ya!

Charming inserts her smacked bottom... I am sure nothing bad can come of this!

[Satans Trousers]

Charming recieves a stuck smacked bottom and a severe telling offing from the fire brigade.

Satan's Trousers inserts Barry Chuckle.

[Charming]

You get an emo child... ooh unlucky!

Charming inserts the mean fireman who told her off. Like he's never put his bottom in a vending machine... hypocrite!

[carrotcake]

charming receives a man on fire (I hate wh y they are called firemen, it totally gives the wrong idea.

Carrotcake inserts a balloon with a picture of bugs bunny on it.

[Charming]

You get a piece of slightly squashed birthday cake.

Charming inserts Desperate Dan's little Indian chum hehehe

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get another smack on the bottom and a right good seeing too(if you know what i mean).

I insert my piss.

[Ferengo]

'Ello Guv'ner gets feces slightly chilled.

Ferengo inserts Bryan Adams.

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get the remains of Brian Adams and a life prison sentence.

I insert the cold feces.

[Cydonia]

'Ello Guvner gets warm, liquid and explosive faeces (because of all the gas build-up)

I insert a water balloon.

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a brick balloon in the face.

I insert £1 and push the Pepsi max button.

[Charming]

You get a can of Diet Coke that sits there, mocking you with its silvery can.

I insert myself again, but this time I am doing the D.A.N.C.E!

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get spat back out but your doing the macarena.

I insert the diet coke.

[Charming]

You get an enchanted cupcake which makes you get fatter and fatter each time you look at it.

I insert some curry beans... yum yum

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get bean farmers.

I insert my now fat stomach.

[Charming]

You get human haggis.

I insert a can of tuna (in brine of course).

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get a cat licking its lips.

I insert a portal gun.

[Charming]

You get a random sheet with the lyrics of "The Bum Song" on it.

I insert the King. He is doing another "mai boi" speech...

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get this link:
http://www.mathematik.uni-ulm.de/paul/lyrics/hermanshermits/henry8.html

I insert the giant doodle that takes up a whole page which me and my friend did in my science book.

[carrotcake]

you receive epic fail for leaving the forums

I insert a happy poo

[TheMattfish]

you receive depressed urine.

I insert a bowl of m&ms

[brabbus]

you recive skittles covered in chocolate

i insert my future wife

[Snaily]

you recive skittles covered in chocolate

i insert my future wife

And you receive a man.

I insert a Bible with a Pink Neon cover

[TheMattfish]

Snaily receives Elton John.

The Mattfish inserts a pair of aviators.

[brabbus]

TheMattfish receives a pair of radiators... cause it kind of rymes... (my god i need a dictionary)

the space-hot brabbus inserts a packet of maryland cookies... (and wants them back but relises its too late)

[Charming]

brabbus recieves some maryland fried chicken and banana fritters. Mmmm... good!

I insert one of my many lucky bracelets.

[carrotcake]

You receive cake loves

I insert a barrel of monkeys

[TheMattfish]

You receive a cursed monkey hand.

I insert my bike lights.

[Socks]

Mattfish receives a photo album filled with pictures of David Haselhoff and random scenes in Knight Rider.

I insert MY FIST.

[TheMattfish]

Socks receives Mickey the Fist from The Mighty Boosh.

I insert 3 AA batteries.

[Pie hunter D]

Mattfish recieves a note saying "FAIL!"

I insert David Hasselhoff

[Kakarrrrr]

PHD recieves a note stating crap shall automatically be rejected.

I insert a sock

[StrangeToast]

Uwthree receives a severed foot.

I insert a Rick Astley CD.

[Kakarrrrr]

toast recieves the same CD, broken in half

uwthree inserts 2000 coins

[JKybett]

Uwthree gets a £20 note.
JKybett inserts his new phone, made by LG run on T-Mobile.

[badger man]

you recieve anal retention

badger man inserts two slightly smaller than usually tea bags and my own front teeth

[Satans Trousers]

Badger Man recieves a letter from his dental insurance stating 'WTF'

I insert 'teh 1337!!!11111!!1one'

[Pie hunter D]

Satans Trousers recieves a boot up the arse

PhD inserts a bananna

['Ello Guv'ner]

You get opium.

I insert some stolen opium.

[Kakarrrrr]

Guv'ner gets stolen cocaine

I insert crap

[badger man]

you recieve a europe album

i insert a thumbnail

[Kakarrrrr]

you get a thumb tack

I insert a viking helmet

[darkfoot_727]

you get a scarf two times as big

I insert a cute young man's body

[StumpyMcGoat]

You get a pregnant young woman's body
I insert a bong

[Noodles]

You get a bing (as in bing bong... a doorbell thing)

I insert a Jacobs Cracker

[StumpyMcGoat]

You get a jaffa cake
I insert a monkey

[Insanity BenBoy]

StumpyMcGoat Gets Monkey poo

Insanity BenBoy inserts his hand

[Noodles]

You get a stump

I insert 20p

[StumpyMcGoat]

You get 19.99999999999p
I insert a breast implant

[Insanity BenBoy]

You get breast cancer

I insert The Devil

[Cap'n Pie]

insanity benboy gets jeebus

i insert a terrorist

[darkfoot_727]

you get a nuclearwar

I insert a fox

[Kakarrrrr]

you get a wolf.

/me inserts a gate

[Tails333]

You get 3 square miles of protection and 15 percent off your next mernards purchase.

I put in a blue hedgehog.

[Insanity BenBoy]

You get a blue pincushion

I put in a piece of bread

[MOONHITLER]

you get butter, and regret losing your bread

Mr McHippo puts in three small sticks and 4 cc of mouse blood

[TheMattfish]

Mr McHippo receives a genetically enhanced army of ninja mice, complete with sticks.

TheMattfish puts in a shoe, 9 m&ms and a penny.

[Insanity BenBoy]

TheMattfish gets a glove, 9 smarties and a euro cent

Insanity benboy puts in a blank cd-rom

[MOONHITLER]

Damn you TM not getting the reference!

anyhoo: You get a Blank Floppy-Disc.

An easter egg puts in an easter egg.

[CMG-UTOPIA]

You get a chocolate bunny head that spews raspberry jam

CMG puts in a paper towel roll

[darkhunter13x]

CMG gets a handful of ashes

hunter puts in a vending machine

[Insanity BenBoy]

hunter gets an infinate loop of vending machines, and is soon crused by the vast amounts of vending machines being created

insanity benboy puts in a coin on a string

[TheMattfish]

Insanity benboy receives a photo of his family, now kidnapped, and a note from the vending machine authorities telling him that if he ever wants to see his family again he must promise to never pull that stunt again.

TheMattfish inserts a web cam.

[Charming]

TheMattfish recieves a myspace whore.

Charming inserts her oldy, goldy shoes.

[Satans Trousers]

Charming recieves cold feet.

Satan's Trousers inserts a 3.5mm stereo jack.

[JKybett]

Satan's Trousers gets a jumping jack

JKybett inserts small portions of his own brain (Mcnuggetted brain in fact)

[TheMattfish]

JKybett receives mystery meat.

TheMattfish inserts a bike helmet.

[CMG-UTOPIA]

TheMattfish recieves a tricycle

CMG inserts a hammer

[hoopsdo]

CMG ironically gets a pack of nails

Hoopsdo puts in a lava lamp

[CMG-UTOPIA]

Hoopsdo recieves lava

CMG puts in a neon light stick

[TheMattfish]

CMG receives a rave.

TheMattfish puts in a ferry timetable.

[MOONHITLER]

TheMattfish gets a ferry, which crushes him.

Cotton-Eyed Joe puts in a Trac'r.

[TheMattfish]

Cotton-Eyed Joe receives tracing paper.

TheMattfish puts in an empty box of KFC chips.

[Insanity BenBoy]

TheMattfish gets potatoes

Insanity Benboy puts in a CD of the foo Fighters

[MOONHITLER]

He gets an insruction manual on how to fly.

I put iin an aeroplane.

[TheMattfish]

MOONHITLER gets a drunken pilot.

TheMattfish puts in an exercise ball.

[minisheep]

themattfish gets an inflatable frog

minisheep puts in a pair of curtains with elephants printed on them