Crazy JAK's fight club

[weebl]

SUBJECT: Weebls Stuff Message: UNBANN ME U WANKA
FROM: will189@hotmail.co.uk
DATE: 18/05/2007 22:23

IF U DNT UNBANN ME IL CUTT YE FUKING JACOBS OFF

(Weebl : I think this is regarding the Rock Scissors Paper chat)

-------------------------------

SUBJECT: Weebls Stuff Message: COCK SUCKER AKA FAT ASS AKA GAYBULL
FROM: will189@hotmail.co.uk
DATE: 27/05/2007 18:32

if u dnt unbann me il fuking slit ye fukin throat u fat fuck

-------------------------------

SUBJECT: Weebls Stuff Message: U FUCKING BASTARD IM GUNNA GET U
FROM: will189@hotmail.co.uk
DATE: 29/05/2007 16:32

im got a machete on me and im not afraid 2 use it im gunna slit ye fuckingt throat u fucking goater shagger unbann or else im gunna kill u!

-------------------------------

SUBJECT: Weebls Stuff Message: U R FUCKED BITCH
FROM: will189@hotmail.co.uk
DATE: 10:55

THERE IS A TIMER 4 HOW LONG UR GUNNA LIV THE TIMER GOES ON FOR 2 WEEKS ONLY AND BY THEN IF U DONT UNBANN ME IL SLICE YE THROAT OPEN U HAV 2 WEEKS 2 LAST AND IF U DNT UNBANN ME IL FUCKING SLIT YE THROAT

-------------------------------

I think in 2 weeks you'd best have all bought dark suits and dresses. Some internet tough guy (who's probably about 12) is coming to kill me you know.

[Shiny]

0_0

[albie_123]

Oh yeah, that's one for the celebrity death betting thread

[DarkTrojan]

bindun http://forums.weebls-stuff.com/showthread.php?t=59305

[Pilk Man]

Black suit's all ready to go :nana:


Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...

[weebl]

bindun http://forums.weebls-stuff.com/showthread.php?t=59305

You're right.

Well there's more here now.

[terrorbite]

Crikey.

[Goose in a jar]

You could probably buy some time by asking him what "unbann" means, but after that... I'll miss you :(

Apparently Goater is a surname, so he didn't actually accuse you of bestiality.

[terrorbite]

I think he should stay banned, just to see how it plays out :D

[lachie 7]

Not your Jacobs! you need those. :(

[Bappel]

Hire a bodyguard?

[weebl]

SUBJECT: Weebls Stuff Message: FUKING HURRY UP U SON OF A BITCH
FROM: will189@hotmail.co.uk
DATE: 11:50

U BETTER FUCKING HURRY UP AND UNBANN ME THE CLOCK IS TICKING U WILL BE SORRY U THINK U CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS DONT U WELL U CANT IVE TRAKED U DOWN AND IM COMING 2 GET U BY THE TIME 2 WEEKS IS OVER WEN THE CLOK STOPS THATS THE DAY IM COMING FOR U MUTHA FUCKER AND I WONT BE ALONE SO SAY UR PRAYERS U BITCH HOG UR GOING DOWN

[Bappel]

Lol, he wont be alone. A real man, a man with a machete. I wanna be like him when I grow up.

Keep ém coming weebl. This is just to much fun :D

[GorillaBearBear]

I'd really love to know why he likes Rock Paper Scissors enough to kill someone for being banned on it.

[dinnerbone]

He obviously wins the Internets.

[GorillaBearBear]

I'd like to be able to say something devastatingly witty about this kid and everything, but to be honest, I just don't have the willpower to add to it. It's just sad and stupid, and slightly bizarre I guess.

[voiceofcod]

Last time he threatened to delete your website.

Now, Will189 returns, and this time...

he's coming to delete you

Will189: the revenge release anticipated 13/6/2007
film not yet rated
trailer not suitable for gays

[Bappel]

This could be such a great movie! Who will play weebl and who will play Will189? Johnny Depp as weebl? Think he will do a great job.

But seriously, how much should we care about this guy? There cant be any threat to our beloved weebls life?? Or is it??

[Hitpoint]

SO SAY UR PRAYERS U BITCH HOG UR GOING DOWN

Haha Bitch Hog, that is gold.

[Zhyl]

I'd really love to know why he likes Rock Paper Scissors enough to kill someone for being banned on it.

Must spread rep.

I think he forgot his Ritalin this morning.

[dinnerbone]

I'm going to go play RPS to attempt a guess at the players IQs.
Results to come.

Edit: Their average IQ cannot be worked out, as 0 + 0 + 0... / 12 doesn't work.

[TheSheep]

ill protect you weebl.

oh and johnny depp wouldnt do him justice.

[tehmoogles]

To take a life, due to being banned on a chatroom? I think 'Machete' is the longest word he knows.

[Youlikeyams?]

RUN FOR THE HILLS MR PICKING, we are not safe.

[Tweekish]

..... yes, because killing the guy who owns and runs a website is a stroke of genius! That will solve everything!

[Krauser]

To take a life, due to being banned on a chatroom? I think 'Machete' is the longest word he knows.

Tbh I dont think he knows a word that long either.

[Thomp]

This will get you unbanned real good :p

[Turkey Sandwich]

IF U DNT UNBANN ME IL CUTT YE FUKING JACOBS OFF

Goodness weebl, whatever will you put your cheese on?

I think you'd better unban him - you don't want him to deprive you of your ploughman's lunch.

[doctor_fruitbat]

Challenge him to a duel.

[gxfu]

Oh dear lord. Do they run an inbreeding program at the local orphanage? How sad =(

[Tweekish]

Challenge him to a duel.

Pistols at dawn! No, wait. Machete's!

[Fissh]

Pistols at dawn! No, wait. Machete's!

back to back, ten steps

....9, 10 AND TURN!

*wild turning*

*flailing of machete in general direction of opponent yet sadly about 9 metres too short to cause damage*

round draw?

[stalefish]

I'm going to go play RPS to attempt a guess at the players IQs.
Results to come.

Edit: Their average IQ cannot be worked out, as 0 + 0 + 0... / 12 doesn't work.0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 0
0 / 12 = 0
Average IQ = 0

You can't divide something by zero, but you can divide zero by anything (as long as it isn't zero). :eng101:

Also, it seems noone has pointed out that by killing the owner of RPS, won't it be rather difficult for him to be unbanned?

[argh]

Wouldn't 0/0=1, since anything divided by itself is 1?

Anyways, when does Weebl die again?

[Bisyss]

Wouldn't 0/0=1, since anything divided by itself is 1?
It's still dividing by zero, so it wouldn't equal 1. Because I totally knew that from memory and didn't check on a calculator.

[Qu1f]

Killing other psr, some people need help.

[Tweekish]

Anyways, when does Weebl die again?

I hope its not too soon, I dont have a thing to wear to the funeral yet.

[Boyinabox]

Luckily I just bought my sixth form suit, I'm all set for a funeral now.

Will there be biscuits?

[Krauser]

I'm getting a suit in September, make it then.

[Da Bull]

Death threats are enough to get the police involved. Go on Weebl, come down on his arse like a ton of blue-flashing bricks.
In other news...
I have come back in time to TERMINATE Veebl! And to steal his crackers....WITH A KNIFE

[Darkeye]

what is the name of his account, Chicken-trex maybe ?

[Krauser]

No.

[Drattigan]

Jacobs? That's comedy gold right there.

[Emptyspraycan]

Mabye if this guy asked nicely he would get unbanned? I think if Weebl throws a Magical Trevor toy with dead eye aim at his head, that will save him from the deadly machete. Arm yourself Weebl and dont go down without a fight!

[Turkey Sandwich]

Alternatively, do a Neo on him and go down without a fight - instead making a philosophical judgement and then bursting from him in a blaze of light, thus saving the entire universe.

Or, y'know, whatever you feel like really.

[Taekwon-joe]

Alternatively he could make a friend and play rock paper scissors with them. I don't know it just seems a whole lot easier than the machete killing thing.

[Loogie]

Last time he threatened to delete your website.

Now, Will189 returns, and this time...

he's coming to delete you

Will189: the revenge release anticipated 13/6/2007
film not yet rated
trailer not suitable for gays
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to voiceofcod again.

:'(

0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 0
0 / 12 = 0
Average IQ = 0

You can't divide something by zero, but you can divide zero by anything (as long as it isn't zero). :eng101:

Also, it seems noone has pointed out that by killing the owner of RPS, won't it be rather difficult for him to be unbanned?
Nah, since if he has the power to delete the entire site...

[Sebas]

Perhaps we could sell him the forums for 3 pence a forumite. He'd have a massive army as well as a machete, and then he'd be truly unstoppable.

[Qu1f]

But we must stay by weebls side, and fight the "un-possible" !!

[Roxit]

un-ban him again, just so you can ban him a second time

[Youlikeyams?]

He certainly is an ill-tempered fellow:


$$$ WiLl $$$ says: HOO THE HELL R U AND WY THE FUK DID U ADD ME U CREEP
yams says: learn to type
$$$ WiLl $$$ says: FUK OFF
$$$ WiLl $$$ says: DIKHD
yams says: in english, please?
$$$ WiLl $$$ says: GO GIV HEAD 2 UR MUM
$$$ WiLl $$$ is now offline
yams says: it was excellent talking to you

I think he likes me.

[Darkeye]

I feel sorry for his complete lack of intelligence and grammar

[albie_123]

I feel sorry for his complete lack of intelligence and grammar
Pot calling the kettle a kitchen tool.

[Qu1f]

Im gona add him now and see what he says when i try to have an intelligent conversation with him :)

[Emptyspraycan]

What as in add his email on msn? Good idea, me and my mates will torment him. Would it be ok to say we are the weebls stuff police?

[Qu1f]

Na i got a better idea.


"FREEZE!! Grammer police!"

[Emptyspraycan]

Well by the look of his MSN picture, I would say he is over 12, but under 18.
So if Mr. Weebl drives away slowly but just faster than Will, it will torment Will so much that he gives up.

[tehmoogles]

Na i got a better idea.


"FREEZE!! Grammer police!"

The irony hurts.

[Turkey Sandwich]

The irony hurts.

That law is a proven scientific fact now, you know.

[sirch]

*Does e-mail address searches*

Ah, Will Chandler.

http://myspace.com/chandlerw

From the Video on there you now know the voice that is going to kill you.

Flicks to photo's... *Inserts caption*

http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/5462/willczf8.jpg

Send an e-mail back to him asking if a queer is really going to kill you.

[Roachy]

Yeah he looks well rock hard. You ought to be quaking in your bitch hog boots! :D

[Qu1f]

Righty ho, a slight update.

He hasnt excepted me :(. Has anyone eles had any luck at all?

[feeshy]

Notice all the 'ye's'?

I think we have a psycotic town crier on the loose...

I think this could be the basis of a new widget. The will189 random death threats generator. Just watch out he doesn't try and decapitate you for breaching copyright...

[Qu1f]

How long has it been now? How long does Weebl have to live all has the two weeks pass?


BTW i was wondering if other people had look at annoying will189, and not just the posts that were already posted.

[Emptyspraycan]

If will sticks to his plan, he will be getting weebl today.

[lachie 7]

Protect ye Jacobs man!

[Vercci]

http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/5462/willczf8.jpg


Couldn't help myself :D

http://img222.imageshack.us/img222/7351/willchandlerdoindadoodopi8.gif

[Smartie]

Luckily I just bought my sixth form suit, I'm all set for a funeral now.

Will there be biscuits?

Have you not read this thread. He's gonna take his Jacobs!
Thus, no biscuits. or crackers.

[tehmoogles]

We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Weebl's Jacobs, and his Ritz biscuits.

[Qu1f]

Right this has gone to far.


His grammar is very bad.
Im going to send an official Grammar Police warning. Im going to make sure I use lots of long and complicated words to confuse him, see if he replys :).

Ill post a copy of the letter once I have finished it.

[Littleshore]

LOL

troll

[Qu1f]

This is my official warning to him, as a Grammar Police constable.


Dear monotonous person (wil189),

It has been discovered that your grammar and spelling is extremely bad and abysmal. We have also found that you are threatening to steal some respected persons “Jacobs”. Though we are not the Cracker Response Squad we will report you (The extremely idiotic person you are) to the CRS (Cracker Response Squad) unless you do us a small bargain.

First, my small-brained friend you must learn how to spell. Here is some basic spelling and manners tips just for you.

1. Don’t abbreviate words; this makes you look like a twelve juvenile. For example, instead of saying “LOL” you should instead say “Laugh out loud” trust me, you may be able to scrape some redemption back if you do this.

2. Do not call people “FUKERS” or indeed suggest that they suck off their mum. That is extremely rude and you should not use your previous experiences on people you do not know personally.


However, at this point I believe that you will start to get angry; this is perfectly natural for a simpleton like you. My suggestion mate, get a life and stop trying to steal peoples “Jacobs”, you would not want it to happen to you.


If you have any complaints please email me back in a appropriate manner, and try and follow some of the lessons I have given you free of charge.

Do remember, the CRS have very high-powered stun guns.


My deepest regrets for speaking to you,

Qu1f,
Chief Constable of Grammar Police


PS. You have been warned.

[terrorbite]

This is my official warning to him, as a Grammar Police constable.


Dear monotonous person (wil189),

It has been discovered that your grammar and spelling isare extremely bad and abysmal. We have also found that you are threatening to steal somea respected person's “Jacobs”. Though we are not the Cracker Response Squad, we will report you (Tthe extremely idiotic person that you are) to the CRS (Cracker Response Squad), unless you do us a small bargain(?) favour.

First, my small-brained friend, you must learn how to spell. Here isare some basic spelling and manners tips just for you.:

1. Don’t abbreviate words; this makes you look like a twelve year old juvenile. For example, instead of saying “LOL” you should instead say “Laugh out loud”. Trust me, you may be able to scrape some redemption back if you do this.

2. Do not call people “FUKERS” or indeed suggest that they suck off their mum. That is extremely rude and you should not use your previous experiences on people you do not know personally.


However, at this point I believe that you will start to get angry. This is perfectly natural for a simpleton like you. My suggestion mate, is to get a life and stop trying to steal peoples' “Jacobs”. You would not want it to happen to you.


If you have any complaints, please email me back in an appropriate manner, and try and follow some of the lessons I have given you free of charge.

Do remember, the CRS have very high-powered stun guns.


My deepest regrets for speaking to you,

Qu1f,
Chief Constable of Grammar Police


P.S. You have been warned.
F-

Yes, I'm sure one or two of my corrections are also mistakes, but meh

[Qu1f]

Thanks for spotting the mistakes :)

Some of your corrections did seem a bit dodgy though so im gona post the edited letter here again and see if theres any more mistakes that people spot.

Dear monotonous person (wil189),

It has been discovered that your grammar and spelling is extremely bad and abysmal. We have also found that you are threatening to steal some respected persons “Jacobs”. Though we (the Grammar Police) are not the Cracker Response Squad we will report you (the extremely idiotic person that you are) to the CRS (Cracker Response Squad) unless you do us a small favour?

First, my small-brained friend you must learn how to spell. Here is some basic spelling and manners tips just for you.

1. Don’t abbreviate words; this makes you look like a twelve-year-old juvenile. For example, instead of saying “LOL” you should instead say “Laugh out loud” trust me, you may be able to scrape some redemption back if you do this.

2. Do not call people “FUKERS” or indeed suggest that they suck off their mum. That is extremely rude and you should not use your previous experiences on people you do not know personally.


However, at this point I believe that you will start to get angry. This is perfectly natural for a simpleton like you. My suggestion mate, is to get a life and stop trying to steal peoples “Jacobs”. You would not want it to happen to you.


If you have any complaints, please email me back in an appropriate manner, and try and follow some of the lessons I have given you free of charge.

Do remember, the CRS have very high-powered stun guns.


My deepest regrets for speaking to you,

Qu1f,
Chief Constable of Grammar Police


PS. You have been warned.

[terrorbite]

Btw, I only put a question mark in brackets cause "do us a small bargain" sounded ridiculous, not that it needed one :)

[Qu1f]

Fair enough, i do appreciate you reading over it though.

[esquilax]

We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Weebl's Jacobs, and his Ritz biscuits.

Unless by "Jacobs" he means testicles.


FUCKING HELL, IT'S JOE PASQUALE!

[sirch]

Thanks for spotting the mistakes :)

Dear monotonous person (wil189),


Not all of them, you even got his name wrong. Will189.

[Qu1f]

I tried adding that name (will189) to hot mail. But apprently it doesnt exsist.

[Cerberus]

Are you dead yet Weebl?

[weebl]

Just got this.

U FUCKING BASTARD IM GUNNA GET U U HAV E 2 WEEKS 2 LIVE BY 2 WEEKS IM GUNNA CUM KILL U AND THAT PATHETIC 15 YR OLD MOD SO SHUT UR FUCKING MOUTH BLUD CUZ I HAVE A SHOT GUN AND CLEAVER ON ME SO UNBANN ME NOW OR ELSE IM COMING 2 STAB U AND BLAST YE BRAINS OUT.

Guess who.

[terrorbite]

He was unbanned before, so it seems he's been banned again. If he keeps getting banned, he probably deserves it, so I'd just leave it this time and see what happens.

Don't give in to his demands. You know nothings gonna happen, plus its funny :)

Edit: The bannings are nothing to do with me btw.

[weebl]

do you know his name on the sps server?

[terrorbite]

Nope sorry. It wouldn't do much good anyway, since I imagine he's been IP banned rather than just name banned.

I think the ban was made by a guy called wurm[something], who has access to the drattigan account. I didn't give him the details. I think it was that Weebull guy who did. He's the only person who seems to moderate on a regular basis though.

After scouting around, his name on there is Deadman.

[gruff]

What, no machete?

And who's this "pathetic 15 year old mod"?

[I Lion Heart I]

It's been front paged. How fun.

He's an immature boy, who can't spell and may have a problem. Funny really.

[Bappel]

He's gonna cum kill you weebl! Make you drown in his cum. Poor you.

This guy is weird. Block his mails? Pray to the mailer deamon to remove his email account?

[Mercury126]

How generous, he gave you another two weeks to live, what a kind person he is to extend your lifespan like that. Im sure he is serious this time though, you better watch out.

[El Fisho]

A quote from out Nemesis' myspace

Books hahaha lord of the flies- except i never actually read it- fun book- ooor that midsummer nights dream- kinda half way through that

I don't think this actually needs any further mockery from me... it mocks itself.

[GorillaBearBear]

I think a really fitting, if slightly douchey, punishment for him would be contacting his ISP. Try and get him band from the entire internet. I'm pretty sure most of them take a dim view of death threats.

[Ozzylator]

"IM COMING 2 STAB U AND BLAST YE BRAINS OUT."

It's like a pirate's text message.

[Turkey Sandwich]

I'm surprised he hasn't asked you to shiver his timbers yet.

[CaptainSlapDash]

Well I've only been here five mins and my timbers are positively shivering. Look, see them wobble :bb: , or is that weebl. My fragile little mind is paralysed with fear.

[Scott The Dick]

Lol weebl's gonna be jacobs-less :P

[Smartie]

Actually, what this guy is doing is illegal.

Maybe we should stop humouring him and give him a proper serve.

[hoopsdo]

2 weeks til ye Jacobs are blasted. What will you do with your last 2 weeks of Jacob-ness?!?

[Emptyspraycan]

His 2 weeks are already up and I think he still has his biscuits.

[Fireboar]

Dear monotonous person (wil189),

It has been discovered that your grammar and spelling is extremely bad and abysmal. We have also found that you are threatening to steal some respected person's “Jacobs”. Though we (the Grammar Police) are not the Cracker Response Squad we will report you (the extremely idiotic person that you are) to the CRS (Cracker Response Squad) unless you do us a small favour.

First, my small-brained friend you must learn how to spell. Here is some basic spelling and manners tips just for you.

1. Don’t abbreviate words; this makes you look like a twelve-year-old juvenile. For example, instead of saying “LOL” you should instead say “Laugh out loud”. Trust me, you may be able to scrape some redemption back if you do this.

2. Do not call people “FUKERS” or indeed suggest that they suck off their mum. That is extremely rude and you should not use your previous experiences to describe (possibly?) people you do not know personally.


However, at this point I believe that you may start to get angry. This is perfectly natural for a simpleton like you. My suggestion, mate, is to get a life and stop trying to steal people's “Jacobs”. You would not want it to happen to you.


If you have any complaints, please email me back in an appropriate manner, and try to follow some of the lessons I have given you free of charge.

Do remember, the CRS have very high-powered stun guns.


My deepest regrets for speaking to you,

Qu1f,
Chief Constable of Grammar Police


PS. You have been warned.

Just a couple of nit-pickingly tiny errors. Every little helps, in my opinion.