STOP! Hammerpants.

[piemastermike]

Yesterday my computer went kaput and that left me with nothing to do... usually I spend all my time playing computer games and sitting on IRC. Obviously I was left with a lot of time on my hands and nothing to fill it with, so I took the natural action of making myself some trousers in an MC Hammer style. Here are the results.

The left is the cut for the legs and whatnot, I have 2 of them (front and back). The diamond is the bit cut out from between the other 2 panels. This si the crotch and gives it that baggy HAMMERTIME style. Best of all, there is ZERO waste fabric.
http://michaelpolom.com/lol/hammer.GIF

This is the material I used for my Hammerpants. It is actually a pair of curtains I had when I was very small... but it seems suitably garish and offensive.
http://i15.tinypic.com/63sifdx.jpg

here are the trousers mid-construction. You can see the cuts of material and how they are seamed. Obviously they are inside out.
http://i14.tinypic.com/4ms6f76.jpg

I messed up the dimensions a LOT so the footholes had to be cut to make them bigger, and the waist was 102". After a few alterations (snip snip) and the addition of a drawstring sewn into the waist I have my very own Hammerpants!
http://i19.tinypic.com/4ulr91w.jpg

A big shout out goes to Paulnumbers for resizing the images for me, and another goes out to iDa for giving me the inspiration last night on IRC. Respect.

[Paul12345]

Truly awesome, if I had some spare curtains I'd make some myself. Btw the last image makes an awesome desktop wallpaper.

[maxxy_p]

Those trousers make me want to hump Mike's legs like a dog.

[Bappel]

You my good friend are a god!




Off to the nearest cloth store to get myself some nice fabric!!!

[Mr stabby]

You are such a woman legend :D
Nice pants, but can you do the MC Hammer slide?

[BekyLou]

Get in. Am makin me summa them bad boys.

[maxxy_p]

I especially like the way they stab you in the eyes.

[CodingTim]

Hehe. Indeed! :)

[evil ida]

You clash terribly with the sofa.

[CodingTim]

I believe it is supposed to clash. With anything. :p

[Mr. Little]

Can't touch this (Repeat 5x)

My, my, my music hits me so hard
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"
Thank you for blessing me
With a mind to rhyme and two hype feet
It feels good, when you know you're down
A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown
And I'm known as such
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

I told you homeboy (Can't touch this)
Yeah, that's how we living and you know (Can't touch this)
Look at my eyes, man (You can't touch this)
Yo, let me bust the funky lyrics (Can't touch this)

Fresh new kicks, advance
You gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance
So move, outta your seat
And get a fly girl and catch this beat
While it's rolling, hold on
Pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on
Like that, like that
Cold on a mission so fall them back
Let 'em know, that you're too much
And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch

Yo, I told you (Can't touch this)
Why you standing there, man? (Can't touch this)
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka (Can't touch this)

Give me a song, or rhythm
Make 'em sweat, that's what I'm giving 'em
Now, they know
You talking about the Hammer you talking about a show
That's hype, and tight
Singers are sweating so pass them a wipe
Or a tape, to learn
What's it gonna take in the 90's to burn
The charts? Legit
Either work hard or you might as well quit

That's word because you know...

Can't touch this (Repeat 2x)

Break it down! (Music breaks down) Stop, Hammer time!

Go with the funk, it is said
That if you can't groove to this then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair
This is it, for a winner
Dance to this and you're gonna get thinner
Move, slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the bump, bump, bump, bump

Yeah... (Can't touch this)
Look, man (Can't touch this)
You better get hype, boy, because you know (Can't touch this)
Ring the bell, school's back in

Break it down! (Crazy bridge) Stop, Hammer time!

You can't touch this (Repeat 3x)

Break it down! (Same bridge) Stop, Hammer time!

Every time you see me
The Hammer's just so hype
I'm dope on the floor and I'm magic on the mic
Now why would I ever stop doing this?
With others making records that just don't hit
I've toured around the world, from London to the Bay
It's "Hammer, go Hammer, MC Hammer, yo Hammer"
And the rest can go and play

Can't touch this
Can't touch this
You can't touch this
Yeah
Can't touch this
I told you
Can't touch this
Too hype
Can't touch this
Yeah we outta here
Can't touch this

tiny size fo0r energy saving, now sing this and dance!

[Tiggs]

Now they look funky, quite the little seamstress you are there Mikey :p

Also, just to be pedantic, aren't they called parachute pants?

[Taekwon-joe]

They are some nice pants but they will never beat flea's teddy bear pants.
http://www.redhotchilipeppers.it/images/on_stage/images/flea.gif

[Midget]

most productive use of time EVER

[piemastermike]

Now they look funky, quite the little seamstress you are there Mikey :p

Also, just to be pedantic, aren't they called parachute pants?
technically these aren't parachute pants, rather Harem Pants. But very very similar to parachute pants. To be honest, i've done such a shoddy job with the measurements they could probably be used as a parachute if you tied the legs up

[Haroshi]

Holy shit those are some funky pants.

[Scrumpopolis]

They're really remind me of Timmy Mallet for some reason, good job, when will you be posting pictures of you out on the town in them?

[Tiggs]

technically these aren't parachute pants, rather Harem Pants. But very very similar to parachute pants. To be honest, i've done such a shoddy job with the measurements they could probably be used as a parachute if you tied the legs up
Wow, I didn't know the world of oversized novelty trousers was so tightly defined. Ah well, you learn something new (yet useless) every day

[TheMattfish]

If you can't do the MC Hammer Slide, just hide your feet when you attempt it. For example, when showing friends, make sure there is a couch in the way of your feet, so that when you do it it looks like you're a pro.

Not that you need to look anymore like a pro, damn those pants are awesome.

[GorillaBearBear]

I might make me some of these for Reading....

Also, slightly irrelevant, but I actually own "MC Hammer's Greatest Hits"

Guess how many of his greatest hits were Can't Touch This?

[[murray]]

Wow, I didn't know the world of oversized novelty trousers was so tightly defined. Ah well, you learn something new (yet useless) every day

You are at Keele after all.

[asmodai]

I really want some of those for when I go to my next rave. They would be so awesome.

Where do you live? don't suppose you feel like shippin them off do you?

[BlueIncaPilot]

Most impressive pants I've seen today *thumbs up*