fortunately, unfortunately.

[Qu1f]

Fourtunatly you realise carrots are not animals so soon forget about it.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, carrot is a colour, so the guilt returns and you turn emo.

[Socks]

fortunately, instead of turning emo, you are turned into a potato (emo = potato in the japanese language, plus its better than being an emo)

[Small Fry]

unfortunately, you are a potato and get eaten quickly by some chip chomper.

[Zenym]

Fortunately, he coughs you up and you magically turn human again. Or koala, whichever you prefer.

[Some Random Kid]

unfortunately you are a lower class human...

[ynnekkenny]

fortunately everyone around you is a lower class of human and they revere you as a god

[Zenym]

unfortunately, they overthrow you when they realise you can't make chocolate rain from the sky.

[Small Fry]

fortunately, their respect for you goes beyond chocolate simply because you are higher class.

[Qu1f]

Unfourtunatly they rebel, and try to cut ur head open to eat your higher class brain so they become higher class as well.

[ynnekkenny]

fortunately you hid the only cutting tools the civilisation possess into a volcano that only you know the location of.

[Small Fry]

unfortunately, this volcano erupts as you place it in, destroying your pride and manhood.

[Qu1f]

Fourtunatly you didnt have a girl friend anyway so it really doesnt matter.

[Oi Scout]

Unforunately, you don't realise this and have been entertaining an imaginary wench for the past 7 years of your life.

[Small Fry]

Fortunately, she was ugly anyway.

[VenomG123]

Unfortunately, The imaginary wench was actually you mother

[Zenym]

Fortunately, she was only imaginary anyway.

[VenomG123]

Unfortunately, the news of this frightens you so much you wet yourself.

[Oi Scout]

Fortunately, you have a shower and change of clothes conveniently placed 3 metres ahead of you.

[Hydralisk]

Unfortunately it's a very cold shower in Alaska.

[osaka]

fortunately some huskey dogs lick you clean

[Nigel's Revenge]

Unfortunately their tongues were as rough as sandpaper so the first layer of your skin starts to peel off...

[Emptyspraycan]

Fortunately, god gave you some sticky tape and you stuck it all back on.

[Some Random Kid]

Unfortunately it was cheep tacky tape so it diddn't stick so well.

[Nigel's Revenge]

Fortunately, the packaging claimed it to be premium quality, so you sue the company.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, in a law loophole, you get sued for accepting it from such a dodgy source as God.

[Mister Qwerty]

Fortunately, you win the court case.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, you get beaten up by the manager's beefy henchmen.

[Mister Qwerty]

Fortunately, they don't break anything.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, they prefer to slash and leave you in a torn heap of jibbering idiocity by the side of the road.

[Nigel's Revenge]

Fortunately, the town of A Torn Heap Of Jibbering Idiocity By The Side Of The Road has a hospital and you are soon as good as new.

[Mister Qwerty]

Unfortunately, you are hit by a bus and transfered to a NHS hospital.

[Nigel's Revenge]

Fortunately, the amublance you are in is attacked by rabid 'binners so you don't ever get to the NHS hospital.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, because of that you die.

*damn I so wanna do the fortunately*

[Gonk]

fortunately after three days you are resurrected and all the world's sins are forgiven

[Socks]

Unfortunately, Zimbabwe blows up for some unknown reason.

[Small Fry]

Fortunately, you are Josus* so it doesn't effect you.

*Jesus is copyrighted.

[Plastic_Cup]

unfortunately, this causes a major fallout with you and the roman empire.

[Emptyspraycan]

Fortunately, you are Josus, so you kill them all with your hyper beam.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, your hyper beam runs out of batteries and the romans charge.

[Plastic_Cup]

fortunately, they all get simultaneous liver failure for drinking too much wine

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, the wine had Mario's Magic Mushrooms left in and they hillucinated so badly they see you for what you really are. A Joke. They charge again, even with liver failure.

[Plastic_Cup]

fortunately you're also a helicopter pilot and there's one right next to you.

[Andreas]

unfortunately, the one right next to you is mad because you made him seasick, and he has a knife in his hand

[Small Fry]

Fortunately, the knife is rubber.

[Plastic_Cup]

unfortunately, you're fatally allergic to rubber

[Oi Scout]

Fortunately, you are a cat so you have nine lives.

[Plastic_Cup]

unfortunately, you soon discover yourself in a dog pound.

[Moosey]

Fortunately, despite many severe gang attacks in the pound, you still have 2 lives remaining.

[RadioactiveHam]

Unfortunately When Leaving a Car runs you over and you Re-spawn in the dog pound.

[feeshy]

Fortunately, you get adopted by a lovely family before you lose anymore lives.

[Felishka]

Unfortunately, the next door neighbour's kid shoots you in the ass with an air rifle.

[the last sheika]

Fortunately, you were wearing bulletproof underwear.

[Mister Qwerty]

Unfortunately, it breaks

[VenomG123]

Fortunately, you have an arse of Steel

[Nigel's Revenge]

Unfortunately, it isn't stainless steel, so it stains...

[Felishka]

Fortunately, a little bit of Vanish Oxi Action removes the stain like a charm.

[ynnekkenny]

Unfortunately it removes the arse of steel too

[Small Fry]

Fortunately, it was the dregs so it doesnt burn your bowels.

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, the heavy duty oil stain remover that the next-door neighbours kid then force feeds does burn.

[StumpyMcGoat]

Fortunately it develops into fie breath which you use to burn the neighbours kid.

[French Bread]

Unfortunately the neighbours kids dad is Weebull.

[Small Fry]

Fortunately, you have a handy snow cannon about your person, and promptly shoot him in the head.

[alexj9]

Unfortunately his head comes of and is replaced by one of those octopus things from resident evil 4

[StumpyMcGoat]

Fortunately Ada Wong (shwing) Comes and blasts it with a shotgun.

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, she then blasts you.

[Went tehh shop]

fortunatly, you dodge the blast matrix style

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, this puts out your back.

[Went tehh shop]

fortunatly, you remember that you dont have a back and is seen in terms as unhuman, because you are made out of T2 material and melt into a metal liquid upon the floor where you escape into a public loo

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, there is urine all over the floor of the loo. When you reform, you have a scent of urine about you and your skin is now tinted yellow.

[Went tehh shop]

fortunatly it is raining outside and you wash it off in the rain

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, just as you've been washed off, someone mugs you and steals the little change you have.

[Went tehh shop]

fortunalty it was monopoly money and an empty packet of smarties

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, this was the exact demands that a kidnapper made concerning the release of your girlfriend.

[retardedhell]

fortunately you were wanting to break up with your girlfriend anyway and you walk home instead

[alexj9]

Unfortunately when you get home your girlfriends kidnaper is wating for you.

[TheMattfish]

Fortunately, he doesn't know what you look like and assumes you are a door knocking charity worker.

[Went tehh shop]

unfortunatly you are at the wrong house where an ex mastermind criminal lives and takes you hostage

[big-chip]

Fortunatly he doesnt want to hurt you, instead he wants to feed you tea and scones

[Went tehh shop]

unfortunatly the scones are off and you have to eat raw tea because he has no kettle...or milk

[big-chip]

Fortunatly just as he is about to force feed you the first spoon full of raw tea and off scone, a piano falls on him killing him and also somehow manages to slice through the ropes around your body setting you free.

[Went tehh shop]

unfortunatly the front and back door is locked as so are the windows. there is no escape and the dead body of the criminal has accidently set off a time bomb for 2 seconds

[big-chip]

Fortunatly part of the broken piano shields you from the blast which blows a hole in the wall that leads to the front garden.

[Went tehh shop]

unfortunatly as you go into the front garden you get hit by a seagull

[big-chip]

Fortunatly seagulls cant punch very hard and hitting you has hurt it more than you.

[Went tehh shop]

unfortunatly as fighting off the seagull you get hit by lenox louis

[big-chip]

Fortunatly he only hits you with a pillow.

[Went tehh shop]

unfortunatly the pillow is filled with hungry crabs (the shell fish kind) and you get dragged away towards the ocean being pinched all the way

[big-chip]

Fortunatly some good samaritan spots you and chases the crabs away.

[Went tehh shop]

unfortunatly the good samaritan hates you for no reason and throws you in the sea off a cliff

[big-chip]

Fortunatly you land on a passing boat inporting pillows.

[StumpyMcGoat]

unfortunately they are full of crabs (the pubic kind).

[big-chip]

FOrtunatly you have a cream for that.

[woody_tng]

unfortunately you left it at home.

[flippinell]

Fortunately you live on the coast and the boat is just coming into the dock of your home town.

[woody_tng]

Unfortunatley it hits a rock and sinks

[big-chip]

Fortunately you are wearing a life jacket because you are clever with health and safety.

[woody_tng]

Unfortunately, it's inflatable and leaks out all of its air.

[StumpyMcGoat]

fortunately you fly away on your jet-pac

[alexj9]

Unfortunaly you lose control of your jet-pac and head for a volcano.

[StumpyMcGoat]

fortunately Mr T uses his sperpower of flight to save you

[big-chip]

Unfortunately there is no such thing as a "sperpower"

[Gabber-Baby]

Fortunatley, there is for Mr T

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, you call Mr T a fool. He blows up your head with the sheer anger in his stare.

[neo_man]

Fortunately, The words "canon" mean nothing to you so your head returns swiftly.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, nothing really means anything to you and you get paranioa.

[big-chip]

fortunatly your paronoia lands safely on dry land.

[woody_tng]

Unfortunately, the dry land is a dessert island with no fresh water or food.

[alexj9]

Fortunately you have a canteen of water with you.

[Drattigan]

Unfortunatly, the canteen of water is not actually water - but a cheap substitute formed by the Government in a scheme to remove fresh water and replace it with a more expensive version (which tastes like poo, might I add) to make money.

[alexj9]

Fortunately it's still drinkable and when you get to the other side of the island you find a boat.

[French Bread]

Unfortunately The Boat is controlled by The Neo-Nazi Speedboat club.

[Shalashaska]

Fortunatley you look like Hitler, and they worship you.

[StumpyMcGoat]

unfortunately the real hitler shows up and the neo-nazis shoot at you and you die and go to hell for pretending to be Hitler.

[French Bread]

Fortunately the Devil Doesn't want you soul as it tastes of fish and you are exiled to the moon.

[alexj9]

Unfortunatly theres no oxygen on the moon.

[Gabber-Baby]

Fortunatley, within seconds, you find an oxygen back pack thing which you are able to safely and comfortably carry around with you.

[big-chip]

Unfortunatley there is no oxygen in it.

[Gabber-Baby]

Fortunatley, you dont need oxygen to survive because you're magic and have no lungs.

[big-chip]

unfortunately Trevor sees you trying to be magical and doesnt like you moving in on his act. He blasts you with a spell and your arms turn into parsnips

[Gabber-Baby]

Fortunatley, with your new found magical powers, you have the ability to turn Trevor into a cauliflower, so having parsnips for arms turns out not to be so bad.

[Archaeology hat]

Unfortunatly you get caught up in a discussion as to which vegetable is a turnip and which is a swede.

[Chris]

Fortunatley, the magical moon snail appears, eats trev, takes you to the happy snail land of rainbows and gold

[alexj9]

Unfortunatly the moon snail gets hungry and eats your parsnip arms on the way.

[Chris]

Now i wasn't expecting that...
Fortunately you get magical rainbow arms which can blow pixie dust and some other shit (don't ask me how you get rainbow arms,you just do)

[TheMattfish]

Unfortunately, you're allergic to rainbows.

[alexj9]

Fortunately because your allergic to rainbows your rainbow arms fall off. Then your arms regenerate as normal arms.

[big-chip]

Unfortunately as you ride the snail you catch your trousers on a branch and bet a small rip in them.

[Feglk]

Fortunately, you don't really like wearing trousers anyway, and proceed to put rainbows on your legs.

[Chris]

Unfortunately, You're arrested for indecent exposure and den r exiled fromm snale landd for evar!!!111
anD yorr keebord is BrOKES:slash:

[Feglk]

fortunately, you are a clam with a bank account, so you know how to get out of these situations.

[Chris]

Unfortunately, Your keyboard is still broken and you end up telling your best Mate he's a "Pants Fuck" when all you wanted to do was ask him for some Pants from Fcuk.
Also It's clam hunting day.

[Feglk]

fortunately, you realise that you keyboard isnt really broken and you really did call your friend a pant fuck on purpose. And it wasnt really calm hunting day, it was giving lots of presents to clams day.
Clam hunting day was last week

[Chris]

My mistake... sorry Feglk!
Unfortunately, It turns out your friend is actually so upset by this that he commits suicide and your blamed for it.
His parents hire Hitman to take you out,but instead he just eats you and gets Horny.
(Turns out he didn't know you were an aphrodisiac!...silly Hitman!)

[Feglk]

fortunately, you are a magical clam who can transform and stuff...
So you escape from the horny hitman and transform and stuff into a hitwoman.

[big-chip]

Unfortunatly the hitman is ugly and wants to sex you, the nice shiny hitwoman, in the poop.

[Feglk]

fortunatly, hitman gets called off on an important assignment which involves him killing everyone he can find in order to get to some man with a beard and kill him too.

[magmo25]

unfortunatly, you are that man with a beard.

[Qwertyuiop]

Fortunately, remembering that Dave isn't Pete or something like that, Hitman is convinced that killing is wrong. He proceeds to dress as a badger and squat repeatedly like so :- :bb:

[shoopieshooz]

unfprtunately, you have a fetish for badgers and pounce on him

[Archaeology hat]

Fortunatly he enjoys your advances to an extent.

[Chris]

Unfortunately,his Wife comes along and disembowels you with her pointy Badger teeth...

[Emptyspraycan]

Fortunately, point badger teeth activate your secret power, and you go super sayan!

[shoopieshooz]

unfortunately, in real life, super saiyan is a type of soup

[big-chip]

Fortunately that soup is actualy quite tasty.

[shoopieshooz]

unfortunately the smell attracted all sorts of pond life

[MargateMan]

Fortunately the pond life tastes great in the soup

[shoopieshooz]

unfortunately you relise that you have started to eat yourself

[MargateMan]

Fortunately, you are a star fish, so it grows back

[shoopieshooz]

unfortunately you grow an arm out of your starfish ear

[alexj9]

Fortunately the arm punches his wife in face and all her badger teeth fall out.

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, all her badger teeth fall into your soup, and no-one wants to eat it anymore.

[Chris]

Fortunately, all her badger teeth fall into your soup, and no-one wants to eat it anymore.
Who wants to get eaten?
(and for no reason you suddenly turn back into a normal human who owns the Taj Mahal.)

[shoopieshooz]

unfortunatley you get attacked by ginesh (no racism intended)

[carrotcake]

fortunately you hide inside a secret room

[alexj9]

Unfortunately inside the secret room you find your worst nightmare.

[StumpyMcGoat]

Fortunately Steven Hawking comes and proves it doesnt exist and your nightmare disappears

[alexj9]

Unfortunately when you leave the secret room there's a T rex waiting for you.

[carrotcake]

fortunately steven hawking gets eaten first, giving you time to escape

[alexj9]

Unfortunately even though you got a head start the T rex is faster and catches up with you.

[carrotcake]

fortunately your a starfish and the t rex loses interest

[alexj9]

Unfotunately you suddenly realise your not in water.

[carrotcake]

fortunately you realise you are in soup instead

[Small Fry]

Unfortunately, you realise the soup is in Fat Louis' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rdk2IrA0Hm0) kitchen.

[carrotcake]

forunately you get saved by a jamaican crab

[alexj9]

Unfortunately the crab acedentily slices you up with its pincers.

[carrotcake]

fortunately he sticks you back together with gorilla spit

[alexj9]

Unfortunately the gorilla spit smells like vomit.

[carrotcake]

fortunately the toilet duck pees on it to make it smell nice (toilet duck - does the jobs you hate)

[Oskinator]

unfortunately, the toilet duck gives you AIDs

[alexj9]

Fortunately The docter made a mistake and it was just a bad flu.

[Socks]

unfortunately, the doctor has no medical credentials whatsoever.

[Oskinator]

Fortunatly he dies of the flu destroying any worries about him...

[JKybett]

Unfortunately, he becomes Frankensteins Monster "Mark Two"

[Oskinator]

Fortunatly, Frankenstein comes and they have a master, monster Mk fight

[JKybett]

Unfortunately Frankenstein wins and then makes Frankensteins Monster "Mark Three" out of the doctor

[Oskinator]

Fortunatly Frankenstein gets an electric shock and The monster was left unfinished

[noidtluom]

Unfortunately, Frankenstein himself turns into a monster.

[Chris]

Fortunately it was all a hyperspace dream.

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, it was coming true in real life!

[Chris]

Fortunately, it was just your friends having a Space party!

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, I age, so I HATE SPACE PARTIES :mad:

[Chris]

Fortunately, They leave you a lot of booze and Pringles!

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, it's just Newcastle Ale and Rice infusion pringles (yuck)

[Chris]

Fortunately, You arrive at your destination and get to work!

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, I got fired for setting fire to the coffee machine.

[FuriousPanda]

Fortunately theres a man on the street giving out free money.

[Chris]

Unfortunately, The money is covered in Anthrax.

[Socks]

Fortunately, there's a new cure of anthrax.

[Chris]

Unfortunately, you're too late for it...

[JKybett]

Fortunately theres enough money for a time machine

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, the time machine broke whilst going back in time, meaning we're in the dinosaur ages.

[alexj9]

Fortunately There is a plant that cures anthrax next to where you land.

[Gabber-Baby]

Unfortuantley, there's a hungry Velocoraptor next to you too

[chrisgid]

Fortuantley, it is in a fight with another dinosaur

[Clowsrule]

Unfortunately, the other dinoasaur is a T- Rex which pwns the velocoraptor and goes to eat you

[Emptyspraycan]

Fortunately it was a transformer, and shook your hand as it realised this was all a big misunderstanding.

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, it turns into a bus and runs the anthrax curing plant over.

[alexj9]

Fortunately The plant needed to be crushed to work, so you eat the plant.

[Clowsrule]

Unfortuately, the plant's side effect is you get aids.

[MargateMan]

Fortunatley the aids are the kind that do stuff for you like a butler...

[Clowsrule]

Unfortunately the aids suck and you ask them to get you some water, but they get you H.I.V. infested water.

[Gabber-Baby]

Fortunatley Gabber-Baby comes along and ends the HIV piss-take cos its not funny which causes...

[Clowsrule]

dude gabber baby you just like ruined the thread, this isn't continue the sentance

Unfortunately, Gabber Baby is also run over by the transformer truck and you are just standing there wondering how your gonna get out of prehistoric times.

[JKybett]

fortunately you have a time machine?

[Chris]

dude gabber baby you just like ruined the thread, this isn't continue the sentance


You're The ones joking about H.I.V. and you can't spell.
Ontopic:
Unfortunately, The Time machine can only travel back 1 second into the past

[JKybett]

fortunately the time machine only needs 1/2 a second to be used meaning that you can use it over and over and over to get back to the wherever you want.

[Gabber-Baby]

Unfortunatley the time machine is just utter wank.


(Lol! Sorry, im ill, was at work...got confused with forum games :p but still HIV = not hilarious)

[Shintaz]

Fortunately, you enjoy wanking, which is needed to power the time machine. (See what I did there?)

[MargateMan]

Unfortunatley, you lost your genitals in an unfortunate smelting accident...

[Clowsrule]

fortunately you carry a spare dildo with you at all times :)

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, you can toss the dildo off enough to use the time machine but you have none of the pleasure. :(

[Clowsrule]

Fortunately the time machine does not require pleasure.

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, before we could actually toss the dildo off in time, we got confused in some time machine talk, and was finally eaten by a dinosaur. :O

[Clowsrule]

Fortunately, the dinosaur had no digestive system, and crapped it right out.

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, we stank of crap, luring ants taller than ourselves towards us.

[Chris]

Luckily, These were magical ants that Washed you and made you your own country full of Playsations and Wiis and X-Boxes and Turkish Delight and Coffee and Burgers and Cats and everthing you loved and nothing you hated and and and and and and.

[Om2]

Unfortunately, the ants are evil bastards, and just after they create this Utopia for you they destroy it, and laugh at you because you thought they were being nice.

[happy-go-lucky]

Fortunatly a giant robot comes and eats all the ants, before they turn on you.

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, robot's revolted against the Humans years ago, and tries to kill you with his laser eyes.

[maldirth]

Fortunately, the lasers deflect off a cigarette case placed over your heart.

[Clowsrule]

Unfortunately, you smoked cigaretts, which destroyed your heart anyway, having about the same effect as being hit with a laser

[Shintaz]

Fortunately, you found the robot's off switch and drinking its fluid gave you a healthy heart!

['Ello Guv'ner]

Unfortunatly the fluid made your arms fall off. owh.

thats gotta hurt

[arw360degrees]

Fortunately, you had some spares in your backpack

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, you couldn't open it because you have no arms. (Obvious one)

['Ello Guv'ner]

Fortunately a fairy came and opened the bag for you.

[Shintaz]

Unfortunately, it was the fairy of death, so she flew away with the open bag.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Fortunately she had drunk some of the robot fluid and her arms dropped off with the bag.

[Chris]

But sadly , You died of blood loss because you STILL DIDN'T HAVE ARMS!

[Clowsrule]

Fortunately, That plant that cured everything was right by your mouth when you died (The plant is mentioned a few pages back), so you came back to life with your arms.

[Br3adf1sh]

Unfortunately, the plant had side effects that gave you halluciations

[Clowsrule]

Damn that plant does a lot

Fortunately, the plant aslo takes away halucinations.

[Shintaz]

Unfortuantely, the plant is now completely dead because you forgot to water it.

[Dr Phil]

Fortunately, magical rain brings the plant back to life.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Unfortunately the rain is very acidic and burns though you skull and kills you, again!

[JKybett]

fortunately you get hit by a bolt of lightening (wait for it) which brings you back to life by jump-starting your heart.

[Clowsrule]

Unfortunately, that is completely illogical because your heart had nothing to do with your death, and that probably wouldn't work anyways.

[Om2]

Fortunately, you don't care about logic so the lightning brings you back to life anyway.

[JKybett]

Unfortunately Clowsrule is right

['Ello Guv'ner]

Fortunately, I said "Lets get on with the game, this could turn into a long mass-debate." and so the guy is alive.

[cobaltninja]

Unfortunately, JKybett was annoyed and threw dried dog turd at their face

[Clowsrule]

fortunately for us im gonna ignore cobaltninja's post.

your just still standing in the jurasic period.

Is it just me or is thier a really spammy bunch joining lately?

['Ello Guv'ner]

Unfortunatly, Clowsrule is right, there are a lot of spammers.

[Shintaz]

Fortunately, we have the power to get rid of them by pure hatred.

[Clowsrule]

Unfortunately, were getting way off topic and we once again find ourselves standing in the jurasic period

[bobfrey the great]

fortunately the dinosaurs are hit by tiny meteors that only kill them, like little bullets for dinosaurs

[Clowsrule]

unfortunately, your still in the juasic period in the middle of a meteor shower.

[happy-go-lucky]

Fortunately, you have an umbrella.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Unfortunately, it's Rhianna's umbrella with a built in mp3 player with only 1 song on. Guess the song.