Your First Time [Adults Only] [Archive]

Greg

17-02-2004, 02:27 PM

This thread is mainly for the guys, unless you ladies are into this kind of stuff. I figure that a few of you are.

No, I don't want to hear about the first time that you did the horizontal shuffle. It was probably terrible anyways.

But there comes a time in a person's life when their friend calls, possibly drunk as hell, and says "Say yooz, let's go downs to that there strip club and see us some poon."

I remember getting called. We went to the Riviera. I couldn't keep a straight face in their fine establishment. The music was horrid, it was that techno-stripper brand of music. You know the kind, with the repetitive, high-pitched loop and some kind of commentary about sex. And the strippers always do their erotic style of gymnastics, where they spin around a pole at forces that can exceed 10 Gs. I was giggling the whole time.

A good friend of mine bought a lap dance for me. That would be a good thing, since they cost goddam 35 bucks. Hell, it cost 20 bucks just to get in, that was bad enough. But I laughed throughout the duration of the lapdance. Having a strangers vagina in your face is hilarious.

At one point one of the strippers has her snatch on my friends teeth and I just lost it. Started laughing hysterically. And she was doing all of those insane dances at breakneck speed. Looked like kung fu or some shit. This stripper looks at me, confused as hell, and asks "Is he laughing?" All of my friends tried to apologize for my strange sense of humor.

My friends told me that they would never take me to a strip club again.

So guys and gals, how was your first visit to the strip club? Come on, don't be shy, we're all adults here. At least, we all better be. You young kids better not be sneaking into strip clubs, or this thread for that matter.

demonic cow

17-02-2004, 02:30 PM

im not a kid......i think.....wow, i actually thought. and to assure you im not a kid, ill count all the way to five.

1
2
green
floor
sixteen
five.

there.
uhhh i havent yet.

eleanor

17-02-2004, 02:32 PM

I never intend to... They don't sound like my cup of tea.

Vladimir

17-02-2004, 02:38 PM

hmmm,well im not going to be so detailed as you were!

lets say that it wasnt so long ago,i was 15 years(im still 15),so i did it with a girl from school,it was nice and ive done it again since then.thasts all ill say:)

Greg

17-02-2004, 02:43 PM

Originally posted by Vladimir
hmmm,well im not going to be so detailed as you were!

lets say that it wasnt so long ago,i was 15 years(im still 15),so i did it with a girl from school,it was nice and ive done it again since then.thasts all ill say:)

+ for making me laugh.

Vladimir, read. :D

That's damn funny.

squealpiggy

17-02-2004, 02:43 PM

I've never been to a strip club in my life. I have however been to a live sex show with my now wife. It was in Amsterdam. Very surreal, you walk into this old cinema looking thing and at the fron is a stage and on the stage is a couple, fucking. Wha!?

Digga

17-02-2004, 02:50 PM

i've never been in one, but have an interesting tale about my friends brother. They (my mates brother and his friends from uni) went on holiday somewhere (can't remember where), and they decided to go into a stripclub. Well, it turned out to be more of a brothel, and they lasted about 5 minutes in there, as they decided to leave because of a fat woman who kept trying to push a dildo into the persons friend's mouth.

eleanor

17-02-2004, 02:54 PM

Fifteen-year-olds in strip clubs isn't a comfortable idea to me...

Greg

17-02-2004, 02:58 PM

Originally posted by Pinkerbell
Don't think he was talking about a strip club...

hahaha, yeah.

Digga, oh hell, your friends must be traumatized. Poor guys.

And I need to head over to Amsterdam.

Rogue

17-02-2004, 02:58 PM

i have been voted 'the least likely to be found in a strip club'.

Multiple times. I always seem to win that contest.

NIGHTCOW

17-02-2004, 02:59 PM

Yer I think Vlad saw the title and got the ...(ahem)...wrong end of the stick :p

Ive never been to one mainly cos I'm a student and can't really afford it. Last year I lived about 5 minutes away from Spearmint Rhino in London and several of my friends went and said it was a classy joint...maybe this year one of them will take me....

tommytank

17-02-2004, 03:05 PM

coz this threads called 'ur first time'.. i strangley enough thought it was about first shags. thank god i actually read it for once!

*phew*

never been to a stripclub, none in milesssss... but i prolly would with a load of mates, given half the chance.

mr jones

17-02-2004, 03:06 PM

i would love to go too one, expet the nearest one to me is an hours drive away :( mayve amsterdam will do :D

eleanor

17-02-2004, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by Pinkerbell
Don't think he was talking about a strip club...
heh, I have re-read it now and realised! Ambiguous...

KnucklzPlugDog

17-02-2004, 04:59 PM

Gah, I don't remember, most of the time I go there and get drunk. Never been kicked out of one, but I'm sure I've come close.

Must have been sometime in the early 90s - as I recall it was the Blue Moon in Tyngsboro, MA. Been to several here in DC, mostly during my college years. Although one time the (now ex-)wife and I went to a skanky one in DC and had a laugh.

FaerieLady

17-02-2004, 05:45 PM

Gah! :eek: I work in one...:( Strictly dancer, NOT stripper. :D

But I must say nothing quite as interesting as some of these stories goes on where I work. :eek: And if it did, I would quit.

So, my first time in a strip club would've been....for my interview! :)

queenofself

17-02-2004, 05:54 PM

i havent been in a strip club but we hired a male stripper for a friends 19th, he came to the common room in a fireman's uniform all greased & muscly & danced around to music that would feel very at home in the cheese bin. then chose people to sit in a chair & did dirty things with monies. he wouldnt have men in the chair though...shame, that wouldve made my night. it didnt really do it for me, i like my men skinny.

jimeh

17-02-2004, 06:25 PM

When i was 12 i tried to get in one on holiday in spain but the bastards woudnt let me in.

Dr-Electro

17-02-2004, 06:36 PM

Man! It has been so long ago, I forgot! I must have enjoyed myself, because I went back.

*nods off, naps*

squealpiggy

17-02-2004, 06:38 PM

Originally posted by Misfit
When i was 12 i tried to get in one on holiday in spain but the bastards woudnt let me in.

When I was 12 I tried to get out of one in Thailand :O

qwerto

17-02-2004, 06:42 PM

Poor man :(
but still it must be fun to u know what ................

NBGreenDay

17-02-2004, 06:47 PM

well Im goin the end of this month when I turn 18. Its kinda funny to imagine 16 year olds runnin around in strip clubs. Ah the UK

streety

17-02-2004, 07:04 PM

I have been in our local strip club or as they put "table side dancing club" a few times. It differs every time i go there. One day the girls will be good looking and the next day they look about 50. Saggy tits doesn't do it for me :p
It's my 21st in march and we are going to Bournemouth... They have some decent clubs, Spearmint Rhino and For Yours Eyes Only. Should be fun!!

Dr-Electro

18-02-2004, 05:31 AM

On the subject of saggies: The first strip club I ever went to was in Honolulu, believe it or not. One of the dancers was no more than 25, but she was so saggy she could rub her kness while standing straight up. Them's some saggy boobies, boys!!

weebl

18-02-2004, 06:40 AM

I have never been to a strip club.

I'm not overly sure that I'm missing much.

vampiress

18-02-2004, 08:18 AM

expensive, tacky, unsexy. sure there may be strip clubs with some sexy women/males, but it's just odd. it feels so cheap. the girls look so bored and are only interested in getting tips, the guys are freakishly muscled. eh.

FluffleFairy

18-02-2004, 09:24 AM

we went, giggly drunk, when we went to ibiza this summer

it was yucky!

dr-e's definition of saggy is an understatement for one of these girls :eek:

yucky!

tommytank

18-02-2004, 09:34 AM

Originally posted by weebl
I have never been to a strip club.

I'm not overly sure that I'm missing much. erm boobies in ur face? well wot about the tassles?? oh come on, everyone likes the little whip-like tassles?! :D

Zin

18-02-2004, 09:35 AM

Originally posted by Streety
It's my 21st in march and we are going to Bournemouth... They have some decent clubs, Spearmint Rhino and For Yours Eyes Only. Should be fun!!

There have been some strange advertisements up and around Bournemouth/Christchurch in the past for Spearmint Rhino.

Never heard of For Your Eyes Only though

streety

18-02-2004, 11:37 AM

Originally posted by Zin
There have been some strange advertisements up and around Bournemouth/Christchurch in the past for Spearmint Rhino.

Never heard of For Your Eyes Only though
Try doing a search on google for it...

Spoo

18-02-2004, 11:47 AM

Birmingham has tons of them; Legs Eleven, Spearmint Rhino, Spearmint Rhino Extreme etc...

Now whats that about Spearmint Rhino Extreme? Do they get more naked?

Anyhow i've never been to one, seems like a really 'laddish' or 'old sad buisnessman' thing to do. I am neither. And also far too poor to afford it :D

streety

18-02-2004, 11:59 AM

One of the best bits of strip clubs is watching the punters get really into it. A girl comes over to them and starts chatting them up cos all she wants is money. The punters think that she has chosen them over everyone in the club and they buy her drinks and have private dances.

I watched this bloke spend ages with this one girl and she was taking all his money. They kept on going for private dances. The bloke must have been nearly 60.

I agree that it is a "laddish" thing or for those that can't get a girlfriend. It can be a good laugh going into one with loads of mates. :p

eleanor

18-02-2004, 06:36 PM

Originally posted by vampiress
expensive, tacky, unsexy. sure there may be strip clubs with some sexy women/males, but it's just odd. it feels so cheap. the girls look so bored and are only interested in getting tips, the guys are freakishly muscled. eh.
Quoted for being what I think.

Piederman

18-02-2004, 07:52 PM

I haven't made it to a strip club yet, but I did go to a porn shop for my first time on a friend's 18th birthday. It was more like a fieldtrip to us, watching all the pervy guys scoping porn with their heads down. Check this out. So me and my four friends are checking out the porn flicks, and this middle aged guy comes up to us holding this fashion leather bra with metal studs. He doesn't seem particularly gross or rabid-dog-horny. He says, "I want to buy this bra for my wife, but it looks bigger and my wife is, well, not. I can pick something out for her at Victoria's Secret, but I can't tell if this will work or not. I noticed you (one of my friends) are about the same size as my wife, so I was wondering if you could just try this on over your clothes and see if it will fit."
We all eye each other and Anne grabs the package. Once we realize it ties up like a bikini top, we do our best to convince him that it will be just fine for his wife (without any over-the-clothes trying on). It took about five minutes, but finally he was satsified. The funny thing was, he wasn't overly confident or lewd or anything. Quite flustered and embarrassed if anything. It was just a strange situation, and it took GREAT control to wait until he was out of hearing distance to burst out into giggles. My only thought was: how creepy was it that he was looking closely enough at Anne (or any of us) to know that she was the same size as his wife?? Yikes.
Other than that, my porn shop experiences have been fairly tame. I dunno if I'll ever make it to a strip club, but y'all will be the first to know...

Urks

18-02-2004, 10:11 PM

My first time was one my 19th birthday. That is like a required thing to do when you turn 19. So my older buddies take me out to the club. It was fun considering they were sneaking me alcohol. So then the decided to buy me a birthday dance. That entitled me getting on stage while they beat the crap out of me. I has scratches and welts all over me. I lost my boxers and my shirt during that incursion. At one point one of the girls was riding me around while another was whipping me with my belt. My friends just all died laughing. I was totally embarrassed. Well at least the gave me a shirt since mine was destroyed. Good time though.:weebl: :weebl:

Greg

18-02-2004, 10:15 PM

Urks, that was the story of the century. + without hesitation.

Are you sure you weren't at the dominatrix? Goddam, they put the hurt on you.

Urks

18-02-2004, 10:24 PM

Originally posted by Greg

Are you sure you weren't at the dominatrix? Goddam, they put the hurt on you.

Nope a Club in Davenport Iowa. :weebl: :weebl:

Babeinboots

24-02-2004, 11:47 AM

My first time was when I was totally pissed. I 'got down' on my friend (who was also pissed) and we ended up shagging. We went out for a long time (Shes moved away now).

Sorry to put it so bluntley...

Playbus

24-02-2004, 11:52 AM

I have never been to a strip club.

Indeed, I don't even know where there are any!!!

eleanor

24-02-2004, 11:53 AM

Originally posted by Babeinboots
My first time was when I was totally pissed. I 'got down' on my friend (who was also pissed) and we ended up shagging. We went out for a long time (Shes moved away now).

Sorry to put it so bluntley...
read the thread, mongtard.

Playbus

24-02-2004, 11:55 AM

posted by eleanor
read the thread, mongtard.

Quoted for emphasis.

Dr. Dodge

24-02-2004, 12:47 PM

First time I ever went was when I was on tour with the uni football team last year. As part of teh holiday we all got free entry into a strip club in Prague called Goldfingers. We gottwo tables near the stage and so we could pick out the ladies for the table dances. we got two table dance and the first one started to undress me by unzippin my top and then she proceeded to rub "herself" and then went round the table and rub my mates face in her breasts hilariously good fun. Specially since the drinks weren't too expensive (as in practically the same UK) well good.

Elessar

24-02-2004, 01:49 PM

Who cares about other peoples first times..... this thread is creepy

Mat^

24-02-2004, 01:51 PM

(in a strip club! read the thread contents!)
gah... stupid 7 years before legal entry...

chompisen

24-02-2004, 05:17 PM

"Having a strangers vagina in your face is hilarious" = best qoute ever :D

chompisen

24-02-2004, 05:17 PM

"Having a strangers vagina in your face is hilarious" = best qoute ever :D

Smeagle

24-02-2004, 05:28 PM

I've never been to a proper strip club with lap dancers and the like, but I've been to a transvestite singing/dancing/stripping type thing which was good fun :D

You should have seen the looks on some of my straight friends faces, who said on the way in, "ooh, she's quite fit!". Priceless!

Just out of interest, why is this in the hot tub, while the motorbike pics thread remains in general pap? One of the mods moved the wrong thread by mistake, perhaps? ;)
[edit] Oh, just realised - this isn't a place for the picture threads, it's a place for the adult threads...silly me :rolleyes:

The HitchHiker

25-02-2004, 01:02 AM

To be honest, why bother going to a strip club when you can just pry open your neighbours door in the middle of the night, creep into their bedroom and sit watching them sleep?
Either that or hide in a closet, waiting for them to undress before jumping out screaming "I can see your nudey bits"

You have to act normally the next day though, otherwise they won't believe it was an hallucination.

smiley clown

25-02-2004, 09:50 PM

Originally posted by The HitchHiker
To be honest, why bother going to a strip club when you can just pry open your neighbours door in the middle of the night, creep into their bedroom and sit watching them sleep?
Either that or hide in a closet, waiting for them to undress before jumping out screaming "I can see your nudey bits"

You have to act normally the next day though, otherwise they won't believe it was an hallucination.

ahh. All the happy memories.

Dr_nwa

26-02-2004, 02:44 AM

ahh, strip clubs. those of you who are uk bound will have heard of For Your Eyes Only. i went to the FYEO on newcastle in about 4 months ago. it were crap...
(yes i know, i was over 21 before i went to a strip cllub, but before then i could get private shows..)

Noot

26-02-2004, 05:30 AM

hmm...well my first time, i went with Pinker and our friend, Angela. it kinda sucked cause nobody was there. but... Pinker happened to know one of the strippers...well he decides to come over there and talk to her. he's just standing there, normally.. like he's not wearing a thong or anything..

i was wearing a shirt that night that showed a good bit of cleavage... it was kinda inevitable.. but that's not the point... well he looked at me and poked one of my boobs and laughed at my embarassment. then he asked my name and shook my hand. he told me my hand was cold, and *I* made the mistake of telling him i was freezing.

well... he took my hand and rubbed it down his chest and his stomach.. and so on and so forth. then he's like... warmed up yet?? i, of course, nodded my head like i was having convulsions, and he laughed and went away.

whew. :shock:

Scribe

02-03-2004, 05:45 PM

i was 15. girl from the 7 eleven. it didnt end pretty. never bring a wrench and a gerbil into the bed while your going at it. it wont be a good sight...

Dødens Knekt

02-03-2004, 05:48 PM

did you actually read the first post that started this thread?

Dødens Knekt

02-03-2004, 05:52 PM

sure, whatever dear ;)

Dødens Knekt

02-03-2004, 06:05 PM

me?

nooooo

:D

smiley clown

02-03-2004, 07:09 PM

but still you KNEW the male stripper.

Dead Body

14-03-2004, 04:26 AM

I've been to about a half-dozen strip clubs. I visited all of them in two nights with a friend of mine and we were both very drunk. The first one we went to we were talking to one of the girls and bought her a drink. I'd already had a pitcher of beer, and three or four beers after that and a shot or two of whiskey, so I was a little drunk at this point. My friend (who is male) asked me (who is female) if I would like to have a private dance from the nice stripped (who was also female). Seeing as I'm not into girls, especially not ones that take their clothes off for me, I said no, so my friend went off and had a dance, and he bought me another drink so I could 'think about it'. When he returned I'd finnished my drink and then it was my turn. So I went into the little booth with this woman and I sat down on the stool. So she started to dance and take her clothes off, which confused the hell out of me (although I don't really know what else I had expected). So I sat there and looked confused. She told me that I was allowed to touch her if I wanted, but I kept my hands to myself.

After that, we visited a few more. I mannaged to get us kicked out of one for being loud, drunk and obnoxious.

The next night, my friend wanted to visit one more before we left. We got there, and this place was real spiffy, and they had private ROOMS for dances and such. My friend went in a room and picked a girl to dance for him. I was left alone, and since I didn't want a dance, one of the girls told me I could sit on the sofa in the back, so I did. My friend took longer than I expected (he paid for two dances) and I ended up falling asleep in the back room of a strip club.