Caption Contest for my tshirt

[Pod]

Hi. I'm not really sure what part of the forum this should go in, so i'll post it here?
Basically i'm getting a few custom printed tshirts done, and i can't think up a caption for this design

http://poddster.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/art/shirtbw22.jpg

The Front will use : "Hissssssss!" or "Arghh, it burns" or some variant of my choosing, whilst the back will contain a sentance length caption, increasing the funny. Unfortunaly i can't come up with one. The best ive had so far is

"Having not seen sunlight since he was 3 years old, Pod- quickly burnt to a crisp when a rogue gap appeared in his curtains."

Please contribute, and remember, that art is copywrited :E

[PoofBird]

And Pod said, Let there be light: and there was light. And Pod saw the light, that it was evil: and Pod divided the light from the darkness.

Genesis 1:3-4
(King James Bible)

[3v1l |\/|1NiOn]

i dont think i can beat the "Having not seen..." one

[[murray]]

As the grim realisation dawned that there WAS infact an outside world, Pod cursed his decision to get curtains instead of that charming cast iron plate.

[scram]

From a young age Pod had had an inexplicable fear of curtains.

[freddiestarfish]

if only he had bought a lighter chair, his life might have been spared this sunny morning.

[Pod]

all excelent quotes :D
cheers, ill let you know what i choose

[BFCA]

Scrambled, you crack me up