Items you'd love to see invented. [Archive]

Lyricaus

09-10-2007, 08:07 PM

Random thread, but figured its original. I hope.

anyway, just list what you want to see made, no matter how unrealistic. As for me, I'd love to get 6.1 speakers or so for music, with each speaker set to an instrument, one for vocals, lead guitar etc. Sure it would sound much better than several being played through stereo speakers. It may already exist too, and if so, I'm saving up for one.

Anyway, what are yours?

GorillaBearBear

09-10-2007, 08:27 PM

What happens if you want to listen to classical music? One speaker for each instrument?

What would you do for electronic music!?

YOUR SUGGESTION IS ILLOGICAL.

Also, I'd like to see most of the inventions on wallace and gromit made for real.

And the ones on back to the future.

Lyricaus

09-10-2007, 08:35 PM

Well time travel is illogical. but anyone who likes classical that much can afford to get multiple speakers.

GorillaBearBear

09-10-2007, 08:38 PM

???

Also, while the time travel would be cool, I was referring more to the mouse-trap style things at the beginning that make his breakfast and feed einstein. And that.

On a more serious note, I actually would quite like to see somesort of MP3 player attachment that can save what you listen to so you can upload it to last.fm because I am a total geek like that.

JebblehMooo

09-10-2007, 08:43 PM

Well, whether illogical, that is the only thing I'd be intrested in being invented.
I've always wanted to time travel, and see how, if we've changed and go to historical events and see if they say what happend actually happened.

How cool would that be?

Oh, and saving famous people who didnt deserve to die of course.

BlueIncaPilot

09-10-2007, 08:56 PM

It would be nice to save some non-famous people who didn't deserve to die either...? Or is it strictly A-listers.

jonffm

09-10-2007, 08:59 PM

Oh, and saving famous people who didnt deserve to die of course.

Cue one of the million of Neo-Nazis saving Hitler....and billions of Christians trying to save Jesus. Fun times.

I'd just like to see something simple...like a toaster that doesn't burn my toast, or some far lazier way to make bacon. Grilling is too much hassle :(

BACON MACHINE PLZ.

GorillaBearBear

09-10-2007, 09:03 PM

If you saved Jesus, wouldn't that kind of defeat the point?

JebblehMooo

09-10-2007, 09:05 PM

Cue one of the million of Neo-Nazis saving Hitler....and billions of Christians trying to save Jesus. Fun times.

I'd just like to see something simple...like a toaster that doesn't burn my toast, or some far lazier way to make bacon. Grilling is too much hassle :(

BACON MACHINE PLZ.

Itd be my own time machine, and im not about to let nazis of christians use it!!

Lyricaus

09-10-2007, 09:09 PM

If you saved Jesus, wouldn't that kind of defeat the point?
People over worship jesus/Christ, etc. Whenever people ask for help, they pray to jesus. Jesus was just a guy who used his dads powers to heal people, for his own glory. Typical son. But yeah, good idea for saving those who died. Perhaps you need a jury to decide it is justified or not? :P

Soapie

09-10-2007, 09:10 PM

anyway, just list what you want to see made, no matter how unrealistic. As for me, I'd love to get 6.1 speakers or so for music, with each speaker set to an instrument, one for vocals, lead guitar etc. Sure it would sound much better than several being played through stereo speakers. It may already exist too, and if so, I'm saving up for one.It would not, I assure you. It would sound completely and utterly wank, as you'd have to position your speakers in different ways to achieve different effects. That and there's far more than six tracks in almost anything you care to mention. What about drum panning? What about multi tracked guitars? a group of backing vocalists?

The whole point of the stereo system is that the producer can place sounds within the mix for you to hear them as if they -are- coming from separate speakers.

Your idea sucks.

EDIT: wait, saving up for one? It's how the track is recorded that affects how you play it back, not a speaker system. There isn't anything that can just go "aha, there's the guitar, let's send that to speaker x, and I think that's the vocal, let's shoot that off to speaker z"

jonffm

09-10-2007, 09:11 PM

nazis of christians

CONTROVERSY!

And Guerilla,you're forgotting the goldren rule when discussing anything remotly religious. Logic = LOLZ. Correct me if i'm wrong though, but the point of Christianity is the examples set in the life of Jesus, not the way he was executed, nyyeesss?

I'm done playing devils advocate, though :D I'm going to go back to building my BaconMac2K prototype.

Lyricaus

09-10-2007, 09:12 PM

It would not, I assure you. It would sound completely and utterly wank, as you'd have to position your speakers in different ways to achieve different effects. That and there's far more than six tracks in almost anything you care to mention. What about drum panning? What about multi tracked guitars? a group of backing vocalists?

The whole point of the stereo system is that the producer can place sounds within the mix for you to hear them as if they -are- coming from separate speakers.

Your idea sucks.
Yes sir. Sorry sir. Wont happen again sir. :(

Nuclear Spoon

09-10-2007, 09:16 PM

Laser goggles.
Affordable jetpacks.
Star destroyers.

Soapie

09-10-2007, 09:17 PM

Yes sir. Sorry sir. Wont happen again sir. :(Awesome.

Moving on; a viable Nuclear Fusion reactor

Everything else has probably been done, is very easy to do, or is just another version of a currently existing technology. Or is stupid.

jonffm

09-10-2007, 09:19 PM

Or is stupid.

:mad:

GorillaBearBear

09-10-2007, 09:46 PM

And Guerilla,you're forgotting the goldren rule when discussing anything remotly religious. Logic = LOLZ. Correct me if i'm wrong though, but the point of Christianity is the examples set in the life of Jesus, not the way he was executed, nyyeesss?

I'm done playing devils advocate, though :D I'm going to go back to building my BaconMac2K prototype.

Canonically, Jesus' death on the cross is an atonement for original sin, and the fact that humanity is basically a big bunch of bastards in a twat suit. As an extension of that, during the three days he is "dead" he travels into hell to take out all the souls that have been there since original sin (I am not quite sure whether this includes absolute bastards or not) out of hell and into heaven, which is a pretty raw deal for them, I guess, but at least it's not eternity. That second one is less Bible and more catholic Dogma though. It's sort of an extension of the theory from C16/17 that original sin increases the distance between earth and heaven, and in the process decreases the distance between Earth and Hell, alowing satan to bridge the gap and allow Sin and Death into the world. I think that when Jesus has saved the souls in hell he plugs up the hole into hell with Sin and Death, too, which is an awesome image.

This isn't strictly biblical, apart from the first bit, but it's a pretty awesome story and if you can wade through some horribly turgid epic poetry it's well worth reading Paradise Lost for a little more insight into it.

Soapie

09-10-2007, 09:48 PM

:mad::)

Nuclear Spoon

09-10-2007, 10:05 PM

Awesome.

Moving on; a viable Nuclear Fusion reactor

Everything else has probably been done, is very easy to do, or is just another version of a currently existing technology. Or is stupid.

I'll say it again; LASER GOGGLES.

Ozzylator

09-10-2007, 10:11 PM

I'll say it again; LASER GOGGLES.

"Not as good as X-ray goggles, but still pretty cool!"

GorillaBearBear

09-10-2007, 10:14 PM

Having mentioned it earlier, I would quite like to see a device that can translate Paradise Lost into something readable.

Same for any books written with horribly turgid prose. Dickens, I'm looking at you.

Midget

09-10-2007, 10:38 PM

On a more serious note, I actually would quite like to see somesort of MP3 player attachment that can save what you listen to so you can upload it to last.fm because I am a total geek like that.
you can do this with an ipod, itunes and the last.fm software quite easily

sadly not with other mp3 players (or phones in my case) though

i'd like to see a camera implant for your eyeball so you can take snaps of exactly what you're looking at whenever you want and in the same quality that we see things in... obviously impossible, but you did say it could be unrealistic

bionic sheep

09-10-2007, 10:42 PM

Laser-guided chainsaw gun.

the baker

09-10-2007, 11:12 PM

A device that creates a dimension beyond time, so I could sit there in that dimension and play civilization 4 for weeks, and it wouldn't be a waste of time.

stav

09-10-2007, 11:12 PM

mint chocolate smarties

Bewildebeast

09-10-2007, 11:47 PM

On a more serious note, I actually would quite like to see somesort of MP3 player attachment that can save what you listen to so you can upload it to last.fm because I am a total geek like that.
iSproggler (http://www.last.fm/group/iSproggler) for Mac iPod, iScrobbler (http://www.last.fm/group/iScrobbler) for Windows iPod (or just use the latest last.fm software (http://www.last.fm/help/faq/?category=iPod+Scrobbling)), Rockbox (http://www.rockbox.org/) and LogScrobbler (http://code.google.com/p/logscrobbler/) for Windows Archos, iRiver, iPod, iAudio, Sansa and Gigabeat

Norbington

10-10-2007, 12:10 AM

i'd like to see a camera implant for your eyeball so you can take snaps of exactly what you're looking at whenever you want and in the same quality that we see things in... obviously impossible, but you did say it could be unrealistic

Actually the quality is pretty awful...

Sure the exact point where you're focusing is nice and sharp and everything but it gets progressively worse as you move out from that small point you just don't really notice it because your brain does a great job of ignoring the whole thing.

If you actually took a photo of what you are looking at and then looked at the photo it would be incredibly fuzzy and pretty much just plain shite.

mint chocolate smarties

Best idea EVAR!

Midget

10-10-2007, 12:12 AM

alright alright, 10 billion megapixels with crazy focusing shit ¬.¬

Norbington

10-10-2007, 12:13 AM

Now you're just being silly.

Midget

10-10-2007, 12:17 AM

i will suffocate you in your sleep ¬.¬

Disgruntledgoat

10-10-2007, 12:22 AM

steffie

10-10-2007, 01:53 AM

i would like a device that mutes my housemate's voice when he starts talking bollocks when i'm working/watching tv/cooking/living.

i would also like ejector platforms placed around the bar at work, so when people are rude to me, i can just push a button and fling them out rather than having to drag the door staff over to have a word.

GorillaBearBear

10-10-2007, 06:08 AM

Actually the quality is pretty awful...

Sure the exact point where you're focusing is nice and sharp and everything but it gets progressively worse as you move out from that small point you just don't really notice it because your brain does a great job of ignoring the whole thing.

This is true of most cameras as well, depending on the size of the aperture.

But I also have to point out that I think a film camera would be about the same quality as what we see, not relying on all that pixels bollocks. Shoot me down if I'm wrong.

neo_man

10-10-2007, 06:20 AM

If laws can be deemed items, I would love to invent a law were people who ruin books for me get shot.

Darkscull

10-10-2007, 11:44 AM

Super star destroyers.

fixded.

ordinary star destroyers are just boring now, everyone's got one.

my desired inventions:

a device that actually uses the fundamental nature of the universe to generate energy, rather than the current things that just find different ways to move a turbine (not including solar panels). i have some ideas about that actually, waiting for some things to come up in my quantum mechanics module to confirm/deny some assumptions though.

a language/analysis system that essentially channels ideas down rational paths and allows easy, unequivocal transferring of ideas between people. not an item, but rather a way of thinking, and akin to mathematics. would be useful for all sorts of human affairs, but will never happen except among high level mathematicians (mathemagicians!), where it wouldn't really be useful or necessary, since they have mathematics to describe the sorts of ideas they deal in.

and, a computer that actually does things that computers are supposed to, and integrates all sorts of useful functions in a rational, almost organic way, rather than the lumbering monoliths of code with equally large monoliths balancing on top that make up todays operating systems and software, and with a similar approach to the hardware.

come to think of it, all these ideas are about going back to basics and building things up from the bottom up. which is, i suppose, the sort of thing that needs to be done in most areas of life...

oh, and also:

the diet pan-galactic gargle-blaster, with aspartame.

feeshy

10-10-2007, 04:35 PM

I like the bacon machine idea. Something that makes your bacon as lovelly and crispy as the stuff you can buy from the shops without taking a year, burning the bacon and getting fat over everything.

Scratcher

10-10-2007, 05:03 PM

A Formula One pit lane shotgun.

Check it out... Hamilton parks up for an essential wheel change, the pit crew remove the old wheels, and one guy either side fire the shotgun containing front and rear wheels with associated nuts onto the hubs... car drops off jacks then Hamil's off to win the championship.

Either that, or the pit-gun blokes both knock each other out cold when they get slapped by a poorly aimed wheel... ye gads, that sounds awesome.

I hope you're paying attention Bernie

rachel ^_^

10-10-2007, 05:13 PM

T-Bear

10-10-2007, 05:30 PM

A device that allows you to stab someone in the face over the internet.
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Being srs, I would like to see self warming shoes. Nothing nicer than having warm feet.

Ringodadog

10-10-2007, 05:33 PM

A device that can pause time - although on second thoughts you'd be f*cked if it broke. And it would be a perv's paradise.

Mittwoch

10-10-2007, 06:59 PM

Scientists can grow ears on the backs of rats, but I shall not be happy until they can and agree to growing some wings on my back. That would be the best thing ever. Not really an invention though.

I'd like to see some eyeball-cameras too. Though we already have enough smut and scandal to fill the tabloids without photographic evidence, and such an invention would just make it worse.

GorillaBearBear

10-10-2007, 07:01 PM

Svelter

10-10-2007, 07:06 PM

A machine that turns my urine into bunnies.

Hydralisk

10-10-2007, 07:14 PM

A proper invisibility/cloaking device.

A MonkeyLord with said cloaking device.

A Massive hidden base with said cloaking device to hide said Monkeylord.

A small army with said cloaking devices to defend said hidden base.
(Why haven't I been locked up yet? Or rather, why haven't I conquered the world?)
Laser guided missile/chainsaw gunFixed, all I need is a right proper sized locust to use it on. :D

Mittwoch

10-10-2007, 07:15 PM

If I remember year 8 science right, the ear was totally vestigial. It was a shaped piece of gauze with skin over it, I think. We're a long way from being able to graft anything useful to a living thing.
Well that sucks a bit.

It makes my suggestion even more outlandish though, so I guess it's ok.

osaka

10-10-2007, 07:45 PM

A way to clone TV characters and make em real person :)
id be hanging around with sonic the hedgehog, and excel saga :)

Shalashaska

10-10-2007, 10:03 PM

Something that keeps a damn book open while I'm doing my homework.

natty dread

10-10-2007, 10:07 PM

something that does the homework for me, and any other work for that matter.

GorillaBearBear

10-10-2007, 10:12 PM

Something that keeps a damn book open while I'm doing my homework.

I call it the paperweight.

Where are my millions of pounds?

Norbington

10-10-2007, 10:46 PM

Robot Monkey Butlers!

If they were actual monkeys it would be cruel... Obviously...

Socks

11-10-2007, 12:16 AM

A watermelon inside a tuba.

Or, a watermelon-projectile-thing!

Imagine, if you blow hard enough, that watermelon will probably land on your head.

French Bread

11-10-2007, 08:28 PM

A cool searching gadget (the name escapes me) that, if you lose something you type in what it is and it automatically finds it and gives it to you

FuriousPanda

11-10-2007, 08:42 PM

Real life Ctrl-Z

MONKEY050

11-10-2007, 09:20 PM

A Staples Easy button that does more than give me that bullshit "That was easy!" sound clip.

For the clueless people (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NojiCsZQSr8)

StumpyMcGoat

11-10-2007, 09:42 PM

Any of the adverts they had on the Amanda show.
A total universe detonator in the form of a pair of clackers.

Hitpoint

11-10-2007, 09:48 PM

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/2/20/Hoverboard.png

This is two in one; a hoverboard AND automatic self-lacing trainers.

Lyricaus

11-10-2007, 10:19 PM

The ability to be totally biomechanical. Like said, to take photos with your eyes, videos too, record audio etc, and play music without needing earphones. Of course, you'd look exactly the same as you do now, but I'd love for that. All my stuff put into one.

Erskien_Parkour

11-10-2007, 10:29 PM

Gravity Gun
Portal Gun

Lifes problems are totally over.

Wigpat

11-10-2007, 10:32 PM

Plastic Bubble Blowing Pope. Plz

Gingerlord

11-10-2007, 11:21 PM

I think everything i've ever thought of has been mentioned!

No hold on...

To be able to control gravity. Not like gravity gun but like a room in my house with zero G. That would be mint.

Also something to get rid of this damn flu!

And... A mind reading device. That would just be fun.

And and and...

That thing in the film, i can't remember what it's called. The dude wears it on his head and it allows him to record what he sees feels and smells etc and then reply/relive it at a later date.

The film is based on the turning of the new year (maybe millenium).