King of the hill

[friendly spoon]

The terrain is a grassy feild, and the hill is about as tall as a regular hill. Nothing special. Here are the rules:
1.The point is to, of course, fight for the hill. You have to be at the top of it to be King/Queen.
2.The terrain can be changed, but BE REASONABLE. That means no moving the hill, no putting an unstoppable guard, no making it so people have to guess forever at some password and no making alternate realitys. You can put barbed wire around the hill, or hire a guard, but NO GOD-MODDING!
3.Don't be a total jerk. This is meant to be fun, not some place for people to totally take control of. In basic, have fun, but not at the expense of everyone else who wants to.

Ok, with that out of the way, I sit proudly on the top of the Hill with a little crown.

[Hydralisk]

I land a piano on you, knocking you off the hill and sitting on top of the wreckage.

[Shalashaska]

A crossbow bolt hits Hydralisk on the arm, sending him reeling down the hill.
I take my place.

[tima]

My tamed cow charges at Revolver Ocelot, and I take my rightful place as king.
And then she says moo.

[swarfegahead]

I call in a friend by the name of Earthworm Jim, who proceed to launch Tima and his cow into space. I begin to skin up, Earthworm Jim stays, but is absent minded and unattentive....

[tima]

I break orbit and crash back into the hill in the speed of light. Then I throw a stick for the worm, and it goes fetching, while I reclaim my throne.

[TheMattfish]

i launch myself at tima from a giant cannon, fly kicking him. i then stand up, dust of my pants, fix up my stylish aviators and walk to the top of the hill as king.

[FuriousPanda]

I do a barrel roll. TheMattfish falls off the hill in shock. I take my place.

[Shalashaska]

I resurface from under the dirt as a vampire, somehow.
I suck the Panda's blood.

[tima]

I play the tune of ice-scream trucks, and Revolver goes hopping away.
I pull out a sofa from my pocket and comfortably reclaim my throne.

[Hydralisk]

I lure Tima away from the hill with pies, and set up a watch tower on top of the hill. I sit in it.

[FuriousPanda]

I turn the mountain's grass into a nice carpet with a floral pattern. This does not help me claim the throne, but goddamn it looks nice.

[I Lion Heart I]

I run up the hill and start hitting the bottom of the tower with a spoon.

[tima]

I come dressed like the boy in the matrix, saying "There is no spoon".
LH runs away screaming of the realizations of the truth, while I get my own spoon out and start digging, with the side help of a sledgehammer.
Hydralisk gets annoyed by the noise and leaves.

[Shalashaska]

I thump Tima over the head with a shovel saying "Is trua liom don Amadan!" and start digging.

If anyone here knows what that means, they get a plus.

[I Lion Heart I]

I snipe but miss and hit the shovel. The bullet bounces off it into ROs head. This leaving no one on top.

[Rook]

Since no one seems to be occupying the hill right now, it might be a good place for a picnic.

*Sits down on top of hill with picnic basket*

[tima]

I bring a bottle of wine and join rook. When he's all drunk, I nail him to a cross and put him as a guard.

[I Lion Heart I]

I take my next shot with my sniper and shoot the thing standing tall on the top of the hill. The guard - through the chest.

[Chris]

I summon my large army of Bandicoots to happyslap I Lion Heart I and film it on their phones,then play keep away with his sniper forcing him to move from his chair and try and reclaim it.
Then for a laugh i put the video on youtube.

[I Lion Heart I]

It would've been cool, had I not sniped them all before they made it to me. And even cooler had I been at the top, rather than sniping from the bottom of the hill.

[Chris]

Alas my plan has failed.
CURSE YOU!!!!

[Mister Qwerty]

I use Hiro, send you all to Mars, and then happily sit at the top of the hill laughing at the images of your bodies blowing up.

[Socks]

A watermelon inside a tuba.

Or, a watermelon-projectile-thing!

Imagine, if you blow hard enough, that watermelon will probably land on your head.

I come into the scene and use this. I die of head trauma, and Qwerty still stands proudly upon the hill with his Hiro-thing.

[Shalashaska]

I get up, shaking my head and missing an eye.
I walk up to Qwerty for help, groaning, making him think I'm a zombie and running off. I collapse on the peak. Go figure.

So, no one knows what the irish meant? Ah well.

"Is trua liom an amadan."-"I pity the fool."

[Chris]

I'm reincarnated as a Sock Puppet and ready to beat the crap out of mister Qwerty, when i see Revolver Ocelot all hurt and whatnot, i try to help but, it's too late and i promise to avenge him.
Then i remember I'm a Sock Puppet and flop down like a deflated balloon.
Luckily i realise this whilst i'm on the throne thus making me King Sock Puppet.

[Rook]

I wake up on top of the hill with a hole in my chest. Seems I got shot. Oh well.

It's too early in the morning to be the first in a hellish wave of walking dead, so I'm just gonna go to sleep for a while. See y'all later.

[Mister Qwerty]

I'm a member of the council and say that the hill isn't safe. You all get thrown in prison, Rook gets double because he's a paedophile, and I sit happily drinking green tea.

[albie_123]

Yep, I'm the real King of the Hill, I'll tell you what.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/f/f8/200px-HankHill.jpg

[Chris]

Somehow i just knew that somebody would post that...

[TheMattfish]

Falcooooooon PUNCH!!!! Qwerty is no longer on the hill, i am.

[Dr Phil]

I snap tackle TheMattfish of the hill and sunbathe.

[Chris]

Your Snap tackle and pop is no match for my big bowl of hot wax!
I pour it on Dr Phil and he dies a horrible waxy death.
I take my place on the throne.

[I Lion Heart I]

I snipe CYBORGChimpish off top with my SciFi Sniper. I quickly run up top and prone on my new throne.

[TheMattfish]

Took you long enough.....but you're not there for long, as i pretend to throw a ball and you go looking for the non-existent spherical object. I put my beanbag on top of the hill and comfortably rule.

[Shalashaska]

I wake up after my everlasting sleep. Seems the hill is gone and has been replaced by a gay nightclub. I sure don't want to win anymore, so I walk off.

[Hydralisk]

Fortunately Revolver Ocelot is on acid, so it's still just a hill with a tower on it, albeit slightly scratched by spoons, sledgehammers and shovels. I go back and sit on the tower because everyone else is asleep.

[tima]

I walk up the hill and ask Hydralisk politely to get off the hill. He accepts my request*, and walks away.
Kingship ftw.

He might've been encouraged by the silvery sharp piece of metal I was holding

[friendly spoon]

I run up to and yell noobspeak at you until you get bored and walk away

CROWN ME!

[Socks]

im resseructed from my death with the watermelon. i walk up to nub, but before i get to do anything, i get struck by lightning, and die.

[crab]

I aim a gun that shoots enemies at nub. Nub is so surprised at seeing a tiny black hatted bandito emerge from the barrel of my gun, Nub dies of fright, and I squish the bandito as I sit on my hilly throne.

[Hydralisk]

I set crab's house on fire, and while he is away I return to the tower and lock the door.

bloody neighbours these days, can't get a bleedin' moments peace... *mutter mutter*

[I Lion Heart I]

I offer my sniper colection in turn for the Minotaur running up he hill and smashing the tower. After that I take seat at the top of the hill, unarmed.

[TheMattfish]

I shoot two blades from my sawgun, cutting off both Lion Hearts arms (leaving him truly unarmed). This causes him to lose balance and tumble past me down the hill as I walk up it to lie on the grass and look at the clouds.

[friendly spoon]

I get ressurected as a zombie, pull my left leg off and beat TheMattfish to death with it. I then put on my little crown and do a riverdance.

[crab]

I throw salt at nub and wait for the flames to clear, sitting on top of the hill armed with a salt shaker.

[TheMattfish]

Me from an alternate universe jumps through a trans-dimensional portal under the stairs and run at crab, brandishing a pepper grinder as i go. When i reach him i grind the pepper in his eyes and nose, causing him to run around blindly, sneezing. I then sit on me dead corpse.

[friendly spoon]

But i get sent back down to earth as a zombie ghost vampire...thing and decapitate themattfish

[TheMattfish]

A clone of me sneaks up behind the zombie ghost vampire nub and cuts it's head off with some cheese wire.

[friendly spoon]

I stumble around blindly and accidently stab themattfish with timas's knife. we fall dead on the growing pile of tmf corpses

[TheMattfish]

An artists impression of me jumps out of a painting and stands artistically on top of the hill.

[friendly spoon]

I once again get ressurected as a robot zombie ghost vampire and use my magical lightning powers to kill tmf

[TheMattfish]

My identical twin (also called TheMattfish) runs up the hill and starts punching robot zombie ghost vampire nub, but tires and falls to the ground, unluckily on top of tima's knife.

[friendly spoon]

Suddenly a metorite hits the hill killing me but leaving the hill intact



PLOT TWIST!:eek:

[I Lion Heart I]

I run up hill, wielding a chainsaw in my mouth and cut open the meteor and sit inside it, and send prayers to the Gods asking for new arms.

[TheMattfish]

The force of the meteorite's collision with the hill somehow causes all of my corpses to live again. They band together and start a hit pop group called TheMattfishFive (see, i was building something, admittedly something pathetic). They release a hit album which brings them instant fame and success and then proceed to boogie up the hill and cut Lion Heart up with his own chainsaw. Once this is done, they throw the tiny pieces of Lion Heart's body (minus arm pieces) to the defensive barrier of TheMattfishFive fans which has formed a perimeter around the bottom of the hill.

[Hydralisk]

*From tower*

Keep the bleeding noise down!

*mutter mutter*

[magmo25]

I don't know or care who is up the hill, i just blindly shoot into the smoke with my sawnoff-shotgun and claim my place as king, i also hire a guard so you have to kill him and then me in a seperate post. HA! xD

[Chris]

Sadly it's the wrong Hill and nobody notices you.

At the right Hill they're letting in V.I.P. guests to see the TheMattfishFive.
I'm a huge fan and am delighted to see them but Sadly when i enter they've all died because they overdosed on E's.
I'm too scared to tell anyone so just sit on a chair which just happens to be the throne,making me king of the hill.

[magmo25]

Roar i teleport from "the wrong hill", and my guard clubs you over the head. Again you must defeat me and my guard seperatly.

[Chris]

Thankfully I survive this clubbing and sneak up behind your Guard and snap his neck.
I call you over via his Magical Walky Talky and Club you to half death.
Sadly I'm concussed and run back home crying like a little bitch leaving you as the (Half - Dead) King.

[magmo25]

Near me, but he is giantly fat, so you have to kill him in one-two posts, then kill me seperatly. Anyway, in your confusion of not see'ing the guard, i build an electrode cannon. HA! If you come close to defeating me, we both die, and that means the hill will be empty!

[Chris]

What?!!?!
I Already Killed Him!!!
What's Happening?!?!

[Socks]

I throw a pipe bomb on the hill, and it manages to kill magmo and his guard simultaneously. I munch on a bag of fritoes, while I stand proudly on the hill.

[magmo25]

Ahhaha silly fool, read the post. My electrode cannon rips you atom by atom. You are no more and the hill is empty.

Anyway, rising from the underworld i now have a shiney black suit of armor and a scythe. The hill is mine!

[neo_man]

I use my manly charms to seduce you of the hill,

When this inevetibly fails I run up to you foaming at the mouth Screaming about a war that never happens, Like any mere mortal you back away from this crazed hobo, The Hill IS mine!

[magmo25]

I use my manly charms to seduce you of the hill,

When this inevetibly fails I run up to you foaming at the mouth Screaming about a war that never happens, Like any mere mortal you back away from this crazed hobo, The Hill IS mine!


I use my cannon one more time, the self destruct button kills both of us.


The hill is free! Wooo im a tree hugger.

[Vercci]

I TAKE A FUCKING SHIT ON THE FUCKING HILL, FUCK YEAH I ROCK SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW ,LIKE FUCK IF I DIDN'T FUCK AS HARD AS I FUCKING ROCK, IT FUCKING WOULD BE A FUCKING WASTE OF FUCK FUCK FUCKING HONOR.

I THEN BLAZE INTO A FEW FUCKING GUITAR RIFFS. FUCK YEAH, MY FUCKING LANGUAGE COUPLED WITH MY FUCKING SKILLS ARE FUCKING MAKING ME THE MOST FUCKING AWESOMEFUCKINGTASTIC FUCKNUT TO EVER FUCKING LIVE!!

EVERYONE HAS TO GET OFF MY FUCKING HILL OR I SHALL FUCKING GUT YOUR FUCKING UGLY BODY WITH A 9 FOOT FUCKING MACHETE WHILE SHOUTING OUT THE FUCKING NATIONAL ANTHEM OF THE CHEESEBIN WHICH IS FUCKING THE BEST FUCKING NATIONAL ANTHEM IN THE WORLD AMIFUCKINGRITE PEOPLE?

FUCK YEAH!!!

This combo makes everyone on the hill run away in either fear or disgust from Uncle Vercci, who is happy to FUCKING LET LOOSE ON ANYONE WHO FUCKS WITH HIS HILL!!! using his machete, Named dorris. WHICH CAN EASILY FUCK UP A FAT GUARD, NO MATTER HOW FUCKING FAT HE IS!!!

[magmo25]

Being the treehugger that i am i cannot alow that much abuse of nature or your bad language Vercci. The tree's bring me back to life, but i lost my head using the cannon, so...being near halloween they replace it with a pumpkin. Roar i am the headless horseman! Slash my sword cuts your belly open to feed the tree's! I scamper down the hill, as it is part of nature and i would'nt want to "own" it.

[Vercci]

Really? I'm pretty sure it went something like this

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/4820/fuckatonmickrp4.png (http://imageshack.us)

[Feglk]

I drop in a grenade into revolver ocelot's hole, which inexpicably kills him, yet leaves the scenery unharmed. Then i sit in the hole and pretend it is a boat!
WOO!
EDIT: oops i didnt realise there was more than one page

What i really do is drop down onto the hill and sit there while everyone else is busy fighting.
I begin to pretend the hill is a boat, and imagine we are sailing out onto the hight seas!

[Hydralisk]

I still can't get any sleep. I'm reaching the limits of my patience.

[Socks]

I come back, somehow. And I decide not to go on a hill, instead i claim....A PLATEAU. In the memory of the hill, I slaughter a lamb.

[Feglk]

I climb onto the plateau, and pretend it's a boat, and imagine i am sailing away!

[friendly spoon]

I kill you both for killing a lamb and take the hill in one fell swoop.

I sit atop the hill surrounded by my army of pokemon yelling abusive things about hydralisk's mum and a goat

[Hydralisk]

I confront nub and tell him off for referring to his mum as "a goat", at which he turns and runs away crying.

I get triple-glazing installed in the tower atop the hill, and a more secure set of locks, and go back to sleep.

[Socks]

nub who do you just kill?

magmo and his bodyguard
(on the hill)

or

me and the other person
(on the plateau)

[magmo25]

dunno, but im a treehugger now so i don't own the hill i just hide and protect it, so blaaaaaaaaam i smack you over the face with a tree and run back down.

The hill is vacant once more!

[Feglk]

I press a secret button hidden on the bottom of my shoe. HUZZA!
the hill has now become a hill shaped robot that will do my bidding!
i then order it to be a boat, jump on to it from a great height for stylish effect (effect or affect?) and attempt to sail away into the wilderness!

[friendly spoon]

I sign up for the crew of the robot-hill-boat, cause a mutiny and reclaim the hill.


psi killed the people on the plateu.


pps i still have an army of pokemon

[magmo25]

I run up the hill, get shot down by vicious pokemon with machine guns, and cry to my mum.

[shoopieshooz]

i run around in circles so fast that i cause an ice age, making the pokemon slide down the hill, i then get old greg (mighty boosh) to show you his "man-gina" causing you to faint and slide down the hill, I win! But then i realise i slide down the hill too.

[TheMattfish]

The loyal TheMattfishFive fans charge up the hill beating everyone in their way. They retrieve the bodies of TheMattfishFive and take them to a secret hideout. They perform an ancient demonic ritual that burns the bodies of four of the members of the five, but brings back to life one, which happens to be the real TheMattfish. Feeling guilty for the death of my band mates, I retreat to the mountains to an ancient temple where I study under supermonks, preparing myself for vengeance.

[Chris]

Ya see... now that i know this I'm Honoured that one of my favourite band member wants to claim the Hill and i happily let him take it.

[magmo25]

i throw a greenade up the hill at the Matfishfive fans, then i realise that would damage nature, so i run up and eat the greenade before being punched hard by the fans, then i fall down and die... =(

[shoopieshooz]

well i recover from getting slapped and take cover as a piece of grass and slowly walk up the hill, then using grass magic i transport us all to lapland, where (this is true) cyborg gets attacked by reindeer because thats what they do if ppl urinate outside. I then get eaten by a reindeer

[Feglk]

I get some goth juice, a hair product made from the tears of robert smith, which is so powerful it can freeze objects in midair. Therefore, anything people try and attack me with, fail to hit me!
I am therefore invincible and begin to do some peaceful boating.

[Small Fry]

I get blasted near the bottom of the hill from a parallel dimension and immediately formulate a plan...but first I purchase a top-class megaphone and shout out "I'LL BE BACK!!"

[magmo25]

I get reborn, and throw knives up at Feglk, killing him, but i'm not going up there incase the hair stuff freezes me.

I s'pose the hill is empty.

[shoopieshooz]

I slap whoever had the goth spray for copying it out of the mighty boosh and then fly to the top of the hill using y fire extinguisher

[Small Fry]

As shoopieshooz is swallowed by the hair product, I creep past through an underground tunnel and destroy its soul by using chives. I change the hill to a nice chrome colour (which dazzles foes) and sleep peacefully, blissfully unaware that...

[shoopieshooz]

I crapped in ur bed

[Feglk]

I take shoopieshooz's crap and use it to glue together planks of wood to create a crap making machine. I then use the crap to build a boat and sail to the hill, and begin to tow it away to safety!
I decide to sit back, and enjoy the boat trip.

[Small Fry]

Blissfully unaware that;

a) Someone has crapped in my bed

and

b) I am getting towed away

I settle down for another nap whilst my chrome coloured hill catches the light, burning Feglk's raft and evaporating the river.

[Emptyspraycan]

I head off to the shops, buy a load of tin foil and wrap the hill in it. The tin foil gets very hot and burns you!

[shoopieshooz]

being frozen in mid air by the hair product, i decide to cook some popcorn on the tinfoil =) (it could happen... o.o)

[Small Fry]

I curse myself for drying up the river and quickly piss in a bowl and jump in it. I am now very smelly but alive and not burnt. Just before I leave, I smell the gorgeous smell of popcorn over my stinky body and think dastardly thoughts. ¬_¬

[shoopieshooz]

i inhale the spray and am no longer affected, so now i fly using pocorn bags sewn together with pipes to land me safely on the hill top, using various nick-nack's as a hiding place

[pomy]

A strong wind then blows your niknac fortress away sending you and a heard of posh pigamas flying into space. i then steal your mervolus popcorn flying machine and use it to fly to the top of he hill and declare my self queen

[shoopieshooz]

but then you get burnt by the tinfoil and turn into a piece of popcorn and fly away into space with me

[carrotcake]

I adopt a fireproof carpet and curl up in a basket on the top of the hill, unaware that people are fighting over it =P

[pomy]

i then get social services to take back your adopted carpet then shine a big mirror directly at your face and you get knocked out instently by you unhumanly face...
lol

[carrotcake]

that last post turned out to be a dream while I was asleep, because pomy is still floating about in space -.-

[friendly spoon]

With a piercing cry of shoop da whoop I fire my lazer, which destroys the tin foil.
I take the hill.

[carrotcake]

I see nub and think about attacking, but instead I curl up in his cat basket because im tired and cat shaped

[friendly spoon]

I knock over your cat basket because my evil knows no bounds.

[carrotcake]

I give you the finger and sleep on the floor -.-

[friendly spoon]

I knock over the floor because my evil knows no bounds.

[carrotcake]

I then walk out the door and laugh because you knocked yourself and the whole building off the hill, so im king now

[Chris]

I set you on fire then wee the fire out.
Then i kick you off the hill into a pond.
Then i employ my Army of Ninja Bandicoots to protect me. (And build a wooden Bungalow To replace the old castle)

[Logical]

I place a cocktail stick under your toe nail, then proceed to make you kick the side of your hill. You cry. I take my position.

[carrotcake]

In search of a good nap, i take my place in my basket nest to logical after making sure I throw n heavy objects at cyborg's toe, making him cry some more.

[Chris]

I kill you.
The End.

[Small Fry]

I reverse time, after thinking about it for a long period, and place carrotcake as King and me as his Prime Minister. I make all the decisions, basically rule the hill and carrotcake takes the crap. Everyone wins. :ninja:

[Chris]

Except me.
Tight arse.

[friendly spoon]

I use my 'mad sneakin skillz' to capture the hill from carrotcake and force small fry to make caturday a national holiday.

[Small Fry]

Having agreed (and rather enjoyed nub's torturing tactics) I hypnotise nub 'Hairy Lee style' and he "agrees" to make me PM...again. Caturday is now a national holiday on ze hill.

[friendly spoon]

Aha! You were never demoted from priminister and me making caturday a national holiday was an act made for the good of the country.

also did i mention i was wearing anti hipnotic gogles?


Because i was. the hill is mine!

[Small Fry]

Damn you nub!

Wait...that changes nothing. I'm still the Prime Minister for nub on a hill with Caturday as a national holiday. Oh My.

[noidtluom]

I climb up, slap everybody here, elect myself Ultimate Pro Guy (*cheers*) and refuse to celebrate Caturday. (when is it anyway?)

[Small Fry]

But as the thread and this whole race is about being King of the Hill, you have no power and we crusha!

[friendly spoon]

I refuse to celebrate Caturday. (when is it anyway?)


But...caturday is everyday...:nana:

[Chris]

Except Tuesday!

I then get one of my loyal bandicoot slaves to egg his windows forcing Small Fry to come outside with a cricket bat and smash his head in.

I then sneak in and change the locks and become Führer!
(Then I make jokes about the size of his penis.)

[friendly spoon]

I come to the aid of my loyal priminister by blowing up his house thus killing cyborgchimpish. I then errect a new house for small fry and a mighty wall around the hill with expert trained gaurds that are hypnotised to be loyal to myself and small fry and have irregular shifts.

[JKybett]

I try to nuke the hill but the nuke doesn't go off, so I plough down nub's home with a plough I made out of Lego and sit proudly in my plough at the top of the hill. :D

[Oskinator]

I drive my bomber to the top of the hill, bomb Jkybett and get out my plane wearing my super safety bandages on top of the hill! Now hail me!

[JKybett]

I sit quietly and wait for an opportunity

[Oskinator]

I die of being king of the hill for so long i get bored cancer

[JKybett]

I walk up the Hill and rebuild my plough into a house which I weld into one house-shaped MEGA-LEGO-BRICK!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Oskinator]

I Riencarnate and walk the surface

Then fall down a hole a die again

[JKybett]

I record Oskinator falling down the well, build a well on the hole, cover the hole and then give the video tape to my friend and say "dude watch this tape nad you'll get a phone call straight after!" (sorry I love that film)

[Oskinator]

dead

[JKybett]

um...? yes you are.

[noidtluom]

because everybody is dead i calmly walk to the top of the kill.

did i say kill?

I mean hill.

Bow down to me.

[Chris]

I'm hit with a bolt of lightning and somehow come back to life. (again)
I beat noidtluom to floor with a brick and eat his fingers,then i build a hut using all the corpses lying around.
I once again employ my bandicoot army to protect me,but this time i arm them with shovels and shotguns.

[Hydralisk]

Unfortunately they strike over working conditions, and I walk up to the top of the hill, value it's land price, and sell it to the next person to come along.

[Chris]

No.
NO!
NOOOOOOOO! NOT MY BANDICOOTS!

[friendly spoon]

I buy the hill, shoot hydralisk in the head with a shotgun and steel back my money from his dead body.
Ma hill

[Socks]

I come up to the hill, and hit you so hard that you go flying faster than the speed of light. Your atoms disperse, and your body no longer exists. I possess the hill.

[Chris]

I come walking by showing you my legal documents.
Ya see it was never Hydralisks hill to sell in the first place.
I reclaim the Hill!
SUCK IT SOCKY BOI!

[Socks]

I burn your papers with my Zippo lighter. It's now everyone's hill, but....I stomp on your foot so hard that the physical force of my foot created an immense hole that you fell and died in. Mine.

[friendly spoon]

Unfortunatly, me travaling at the speed of light creates a black hole thingy that destroys the universe. BUT in a paralel universe somewhere i still have the hill.

[Socks]

I am that parallel universe. So therefore everything in that universe is mine, including that hill.

[arw360degrees]

In that parallel universe, socks has chronic kidney dialysis and consequently dies, just as a parallel me who is not lazy climbs to the top of the hill which, in the parallel universe is a beanbag.

[friendly spoon]

Silly. i'm talking about the paralell universe to left of that one.

[Chris]

I thought it was the Third one!

[noidtluom]

Nah, you're all confused. My universe has the real hill. And I'm on it (alone, at the top), watching through my evil "Parallel-universe-CCTV-monitor" as you all beat each other to death.

I somehow lock my universe to lock everybody out. I'm alone. On a hill.
Alone, on a nice hump of land.
Alone, even the CCTV is turned off now.
...and :bb:

Sorry about the sudden twist of innuendo.

EDIT: haha the last one didn't even need a spoiler tag.

[friendly spoon]

You have gravely underestimated the situation.
I have won.
har har

[Shintaz]

I drop a nuclear warhead on you, destroying the paralell universe and hill. I wait several million centuries for a new universe to be created and that same hill to be re-created. It now has my initials on the base. I climb to the top and sit... As king, obviously. ^^

[JKybett]

I kill the cat in your sig and take the hill while your greaving.

[noidtluom]

Arses!

You broke my camera!

I blindfold Shintaz (EDIT: darn you, I also blindfold JKybett for posting first), use my (surprisingly) newly acquired portal gun, and make myself keep on popping out of the ground in random places.

I hereby set the rule that only on alternate posts may somebody do something to get me off the to off the hill.

Oh did I mention I 90% of the time pop up at the top of the Hill? Because I do.

[Small Fry]

Well...I screw with his rule, attract him away with my Companion Cube and place the portals so that he flies through every dimension in every second. Which makes a hell of a lot of noidtluoms. I jump on the hill.

[noidtluom]

One of my alter-noids falls into Small Fry's head, giving him the bumeyes, and giving me the hill.

Another of my alter-noids falls into the 3D dimension and double posts in a Weebl-forum topic thread.

...another alter-noid pops up into an orange box and steals another portal gun off some poor gamer.

Oh, he also opens up a bunch of new portals :)

noidtluom * 2

About 15 noidtluoms simultaneously swear at "Automerged Doublepost"...whilst being on the top of the hill, of course.

[Small Fry]

So after plumming through that cess-pool of weird phrasing and finding that there is now about 749410165095 noidtluoms, I shout (very loudly), "SUCKERS!"
They all run off, 749410165094 of them fall down a whole into oblivion and the last one is heartbroken. So much so that he falls off the cliff into a massive bottomless hole. I run to the top of the hill and set up a security system made by these people (http://www.fortknoxsecurity.ltd.uk/).

[Shintaz]

I bend time before Fort Knox Security LTD wasn't made and killed the future CEO. I then travel back to the present and see small fry sitting all alone on this large hill. I comfort him, get under his radar as a friend. At the last minute, BAM! The ol' fork in the eye. I claim the hill! (Oh, and btw, I have some sort of ninja monkey bodyguards and security surrounding the hill with cool stuff like ninja stars and lasers and all that jazz. I know it takes the fun out of it, but YEAH!)

[JKybett]

I cover Shintaz in banana paste and he is eaten by his own monkeys (oh yeah I did) I then I then set Shintaz's (now zombie) cat on him, just to rub things in a bit.
I then hire every zombie ever seen on the walking dead (comic series) and train them to harm all but me.

[friendly spoon]

i cut a bloody swath (or howether you spell it) through the zombies with my magic sword and upon reaching JKybett decpitate him.
My hill

[JKybett]

dude, why didnt you just kill one, rub yourself with the corpse to make yourself smell dead and stroll up to me? zombies only attack things that don't smell dead.
And btw, the remaining zombies swarm you, your dead and my head takes its place at the top of the hill ( in zombie form).

[friendly spoon]

dude, why didnt you just kill one, rub yourself with the corpse to make yourself smell dead and stroll up to me? zombies only attack things that don't smell dead.
And btw, the remaining zombies swarm you, you're dead and my head takes its place at the top of the hill ( in zombie form).

Fix'd.

i totaly come back as a super zombie and own you and your zombie hoard.
My hill.

[JKybett]

oh yeah, take the hill and correct my grammar while your at it, very good.
FIX THIS!
I not i

[noidtluom]

dude, why didnt you just kill one, rub yourself with the corpse to make yourself smell dead and stroll up to me? zombies only attack things that don't smell dead.

You knew you could be beat?

oh yeah, take the hill and correct my grammar while your at it, very good.

Oh yes, take the hill and correct my grammar while you're at it. Very good, I have now taken the hill.

I stick a smiley sticker at the top of the hill :)

[JKybett]

I wait a few decades for Nub to rot enough to become harmless (because in TWD the zombies rot slowly) and vandalise Noidtluom's sticker with a giant nob on the forehead :D
I then turn the hill into a volcano with a hill inside it and submerge myself in lava :D my (corpses) hill.

[Small Fry]

I run over with a shout of "What the flying fuck-a-duck? Why did he do that?" Still wondering, I dispose of his corpse and jump into the lava in a 'Mr Bubbles look-a-like' suit.

Then I read the label. *Will not actually protect from danger, just gets a great laugh at parties. Oh Shit.

[friendly spoon]

*stuff about how i came back to life* I notive that people are jumping into a large volcano.
oh my.
I plug the volcano to prevent any more tragic accidents and create another hill next to it.
Mine

[Shintaz]

I trap nub in his own little bubble and roll him down a hill. He hits JKybett and Small Fry on the way down, making them roll down with the bubble. I clamber to the top, place a flag on the top which says "OMGOMGOFMFOMGOM!!2"! AMAZING!"

Mine.

[friendly spoon]

HEAT DETCTING EYES BIATCH
i win.
har har

[Shintaz]

I rolled you down a hill.
You have heat detecting eyes.
I don't see how you win? :S

[noidtluom]

I dig a hole, underground, and stay there for a long time.
UNDERGROUND HOLE BIATCH!
i win.
har har.

I dig a hole and hide nub inside it. I still don't have the hill though. But I'm polluting it ;)

[badger man]

iwake up confused and hurt because i am the hill. please dont own me.

[Shintaz]

I clear out the pollution on my hill (which is badger man). I just saved badger mans life, so he doesn't suffocate from all the carbon monoxide. Seeing as the hill is still mine, we make an agreement that I am his owner. For longer. ^^

P.S: Badger man is hurt by all the hole digging and he sneezes noidtluom out. He's covered in mucus and is blown far, far away.

[Hydralisk]

I use a yellow Orb, distract Shintaz with a shiny object, sell the hill again, and jump on a plane to the Canary Islands with my massive profits due to inflation values ballooning.

The next poster owns the hill by default...

[friendly spoon]

Post.
Yays.

[noidtluom]

iwake up confused and hurt because i am the hill. please dont own me.

Now that, my chickadees, is a classic.

(I'm sorry this is off topic for a while. Shintaz, is that your cat? He/She is really cute.)

noidtluom is sneezed into a time machine, and awaits for exactly 2 posts before he emerges into the present. (to claim the hill, of course). Whilst he awaits his destiny, he claims the hill. (in the past, of course). However, since the time machine's destiny is intertwined with his, the past cannot affect the future. Therefore, the present is the only place the time machine can go. (without noidtluom, of course) Since noidtluom is in the past, and none of you can affect your own past without the time machine, he has ample time to read previous posts and therefore counter attack. However, since the time machine is in the present, it leaves a conspicuous risk that you, too, can go in to the past, unless noidtluom wasn't in the past, but, in the future instead. Therefore, to complicate things further, we add a new dimension, where the hill really is, of course, before you realise this paragraph is going absolutely nowhere.

I claim the hills.

(of past, present, and future, of course)

[Shintaz]

(No, it's not my cat. You can see mine in "Post your pets" in the Hot Tub)

Anyway, I use my signature cat to distract noidtluom. He dances and frolics, then giggles whilst chasing the cat. I sit on the hill, alone.
Mine.

[Clowsrule]

The grenade in ur avitars hand blows up and u die. My clow avatar urinates all over the hill to mark his territory.

[noidtluom]

The noidtluom of the past does nothing, still sitting on the top of the hill.

The noidtluom of the present plays with the cat, knowing perfectly well that...

...the noidtluom of the future is owning the hill. Without all the "clow" urination.

[Clowsrule]

What? ok you just like adding a few new dimensions to the world so you can get the hill.

Clowsrule pwns all time, past, present, and future, using a fishing rod somehow.

my clow urinates all over the hill AGAIN

[JKybett]

I throw a sponge at clowsrule and take the hill while he's ratting me out to the nearest teacher.

[Slurp]

Sneakily, using my sig, I sue your asses off the hill

[Shintaz]

Haha! I was on the Jury, so I called INNOCENT to all claims against me!
I sit on the hill.
I urinate all over it.
MINE!

[Clowsrule]

I buy a urination cleaner from Wal Mart, clean off the hill, including you cuz ur a bottle of piss and take the hill

[Shintaz]

I turn the cleaner onto blow, meaning I shoot out and hit you on the head. You get knocked out and eventually have amnesia. You know nothing about the hill.
I retake the position!

[Clowsrule]

I learn about the hill by reading about this thread. I blow a giant bubble that you get stuck in anf float a million miles away!

[noidtluom]

I'm stuck in the future with a giant fishing rod.

...and the hill to myself :)

[friendly spoon]

When suddenly (in the future of couse) a time machine appears. A version of me with a stylish goatee jumps out and cuts of your head with a stupidly large katana. I own the future hill. How quaint.

[Clowsrule]

I still have the present hill and no one gives a $H!T about the future, which isn't even relevent in the rest of our times.

[noidtluom]

noidtluom's past hasn't read your post yet (clowsrule) so is happily dominating the hill.

[Shintaz]

Let's get rid of all this future and past talk. It confuses me.
I use some sort of Blackhole to suck in the future and the past, meaning nothing has happened or ever will! We have to make it all up all over again! Nobody remembers anything, so you all live as cavemen apart from me (still inside a bubble).

I pop the bubble by biting it. As nobody remembers anything, I create electricity and a PC. I post in this thread that I claim the hill and I'm rich in the time of present!

[XtremeNL]

I reate a flinstone-style chopper and ride it up the hill with my hand stuck out... BITCH SLAP!
I cross my arms and lean on my bike... 'ard king of the hill.

[Shintaz]

I slowly climb the hill and push your bike from behind. You are still leaning on it - causing you to roll down the hill with your own invention!
I sit down on the hill and smell the fresh grass... WTF? MARIJUANA HILL! I smoke many a marijuana rollies until a cloud of poisonous smoke forms around it and I'm too high to be effected.
Mine.

(I don't do drugs, don't worry.)

[noidtluom]

Swirling through a blackhole, I soon realise I'm intoxicated by the weird fumes of marijuana coming from seemingly nowhere.

[Shintaz]

I find noidtluom wondering around in the smoke. I pass him a rollie and he takes a drag. He is un-harmed by the smoke.
We have an epic battle which ridiculously lasts over 10 minutes, but we are both pulling off some wierd insane sword skills. There are lasers and ninjas in the background flying around. Eventually, we come to an agreement saying we are both quite obviously masters at everything in the World possible. We sit on the hill smoking marijuana. Mine was medicinal and his were wearing away his skills. I beat him in a sword fight.

I know I already had the hill, I just got bored and wanted to write something crazy.

I continue smoking the real marijuane to increase the toxicity of the smoke around the hill.
Mine with more defense!!

[Chris]

Fortunately For me I've done so many Drugs I'm Unaffected also.
I Tell the Stoned Shintaz that the Beavers are Coming, this leads him to commit suicide.
I Become clean and stop taking drugs, make the hill a drug free Zone and install Eye eating Beavers.

My Hill.
My Beavers.

[Shintaz]

I'm in hell. I murder Satan - meaning I can control hell. I rise up to earth. I set your beavers on fire just by pointing at them. I stare at you with fire in my eyes and you run away screaming like a girl.
I am Satan.
It's MY hill!

[Om2]

I see the hill from afar. Rather nice looking hill, I think.
I walk up the hill and simply push Shintaz off of it.
I also decide to invest in a bullet-proof vest and helmet, and build a bomb shelter at the top of the hill, go inside it, and lock the door.
My hill now.

[noidtluom]

noidtluom joins UNICEF and shares the hill with Om2.

[Clowsrule]

I pick the lock to your little shelter, and lob a grenadee at your feet. You die. I get the selter now!!! I just glue in the lock so it cannot be picked.

[friendly spoon]

I just blow open the door with my force powers. Your puny glue is no match for the power of the dark side! The door lands on you and crushes you. I destroy the shelter and take the hill. I also errect a large force field

[Shintaz]

Being Satan (earlier replies) I see nub's little forcefield. I laugh with lightning in the background. I lift the hill with my telekenetic powers (awwwww yeah.) and shake nub until he's really dizzy. I place it back down and poke the forcefield. It deflates like a balloon. I create a hole in the top of the hill and place nub inside it - then re-soil it.
I am Satan, therefore if you come near me you will be set on fire.
Mine.

[noidtluom]

Hahahaha Shintaz soiled himself on nub :)

I get turned into Mr. Smith from the Matrix, and start cloning an army of myself. My army comes in from all directions, yeah, so you can't do anything. MY HILL.

[pomy]

i get your clone thingy and throw it into a lake... all your clones run and junp in to get it but all drown.
i then get a wet clone head and kick it at you makeing me king of the hill

[friendly spoon]

Only you haven’t watched the matrix so you think agent smith has to use a machine WHICH HE DOESNT.
Any way I grab a nearby pole and some shades and battle my way through the smiths until their is none left. My hill.

[Shintaz]

I run up in disguise as the Oracle. You hail me and I gently shove you off the hill when you're not watching. I take your bendy pole and throw it away.
Simply mine.

[Om2]

I ask Shintaz if I can borrow his hill for a while. He decides to be nice and gives it to me.

Again, my hill (until he asks for it back).

[noidtluom]

Only you haven’t watched the matrix so you think agent smith has to use a machine WHICH HE DOESNT.

Who, me?

Any way I grab a nearby pole and some shades and battle my way through the smiths until their is none left. My hill.

You haven't watched the Matrix either - Neo doesn't get rid of the Smiths in the scene - he just escapes.

I sit somewhere on the other side of the hill, where Om2 can't see me. Hahaha - I'm such a genius. Now we both have the hill.

['Ello Guv'ner]

I apear on the very peak of the hill from a stealth helicopter and just kick the other two up the back side so they roll down.

I see Shintaz coming back to take back the hill from Om2, so I send a telegram to the president say there is oil at Shintaz's location, and the president sends the US army in at my control, I rule Hillanina(I thought I could make the hill a country).

[Shintaz]

I quietly ask Om2 for my hill. He says some other guy has taken it. I use binoculars only to find 'Ello Guv'ner sitting on MY hill! I get a tranquilizing dart and put it in a peashooter. I put my mouse around it and suck. The tranquilizer chokes me, I spit it out. It puts me to sleep. I am now too peaceful to care about a stupid hill. Until that is, I decide to wake up.
:)

['Ello Guv'ner]

The US scouts tell me of this and I send a Nuke in wile shintaz sleeps! guess the rest.
Although I'm a little confused about the mouse part! Anyway I build a wall around Hillania with a sign saying:"Hillania, keep out."

I get BORED waiting for some thing to HAPPEN, so I open a time portal to some time between 1970 to 1990 and look for a miss packman arcade machine and steal it, take it back to Hillania and play that for a wile.

Once I'm bored with that, I change the time the portal leads to, go to the future and pick up a instant city complete with people, just add water.

It turns out that Nub crawled back in to the hole and buried himself, but I dig him up and wait for him to come back round, planing a alliance.

I create a hole in the top of the hill and place nub inside it - then re-soil it.

[friendly spoon]

You haven't watched the Matrix either - Neo doesn't get rid of the Smiths in the scene - he just escapes.

I have. I just wasnt copying everything from the scene exsactly. If i had the fight would have taken place in the middle of a city. YOU were completly changing the whole thing. If Smith had a machine to clone Neo could have just destroyed it abruptly ending the series. (if only)

Back on topic i accept 'Ello Guv'ner's alliance strategy and sit around playing miss pacman for a while.

['Ello Guv'ner]

After Nub beats my high score and Ive finished ranting about it we sit down a discuss running Hillania. Let the meeting begin!

[Br3adf1sh]

*Snipes*
Mine nows.

[friendly spoon]

I dodge the bullet. Unfortunately 'Ello Guv'ner is not so lucky. I take cover behind the arcade machine and call an airstrike on you. When you are dead i bring 'Ello Guv'ner back as a zombie and we spend the rest of the day arguing over who is a better pac man player

[Br3adf1sh]

I come back to life, reincarnated as pac man and eat you both

['Ello Guv'ner]

Good thing I believe in the force, if you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

[friendly spoon]

I burst out of your chest(all dramiticly and stuff) , feed you to my pet n00b and take the hill.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Being one with the force I guide nub in all the right directions.

no one has posted in ages, come on, post, i wanna get on with this game!

seeing as it's been so long since anyone has posted I guess I win, yah I win!

[noidtluom]

I post. Therefore I get the hill.

[Shintaz]

NOTHING

I quote you, but secretly change it as if you've posted nothing.
Mine

['Ello Guv'ner]

Yah! back to the fight! so far i'm dead and one with the force, shintaz was nuked by me and noidtluom got kick up the ass, by me.

[friendly spoon]

Forget about me, oh spiritual advisor?

I get out a 12 gauge shotgun and blow shintaz away.

My hil

['Ello Guv'ner]

In that case i'm hindu now a get reincarnated as a almighty chicken-fish and destroy hillania and it's city and walls.

Now it's just a hill again, and I (as a mighty chicken-fish) have the power of killing all LIFE within a 10 mile radius. hail me or die.:notworthy

[Clowsrule]

I hire a zombie to come and eat you. The hill is mine. My clow pees all over it again, thats my only de-fence, I'm a little underfunded, that zombie costed a fortune!

[Br3adf1sh]

I burn the pee on the hill but it is explosive and blows you and your zombie up, luckily I got away in time, and I took what was left of the hill.

I rebuild it too.

[Shintaz]

Breadfish had no defense. I push him off. He rolls and rolls until he's covered with dirt. He runs home, crying and shouting "IT'S ALL DIRTY NOW!"

I sit on the hill. And, I'm still Satan (woot), so I create a ring of fire around the hill and have the undead flying helicopters and all that jazz around it. :)

[friendly spoon]

I use an holy hosepipe to get rid of the ring of fire. I get some anti-aircraft thingy to get rid of the undead helicopters and all that jazz.

I rip your head of and the hill is mine.

[Br3adf1sh]

I summon the characters on ultimate showdown, but unfortunately they start fighting...

Luckily you get caught up in the fight and I wait until the fight ends and I take the hill

[noidtluom]

I am Mr Rogers. You forgot about me. Therefore I was there. I kill you just as you take the hill. Then, because some guy decided to put it in the animation, I have to kill myself dramatically involving harikiri with a sword.

Nobody has the hill. Except my ghost.

[Shintaz]

I walk up the hill.
Mine.

[friendly spoon]

I walk up the hill and kindly ask you to leave.

You refuse so i kick you in the crotch.

This has no effect so you kill me and keep the hill.

['Ello Guv'ner]

I'm still Hindu and I get reincarnated as Hor-shu, the lucky blacksmith with a very big hammer, so I kill all who come near me and take the hill.

p.s. Did you spot my pun?

[JKybett]

(No what was the pun)
I shrink your hammer with a history book and take the hill while you're nursing it back to health.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Hor-shu sounds like horse shoe and I'm the lucky blacksmith.
Anyway I kill you with my smaller hammer, take the history book and make my hammer big again.

[JKybett]

(oh nice one)
I congratulate you and take the hill while you're showing off (you cocky bastard)

[happy-go-lucky]

I sneak up behind you and shout boo. You're so suprised you fall over, and I use you as my throne while I survey my new hill:D

[Br3adf1sh]

I sneak behind you and hit you with a medieval flail.
I hit you so hard the flail goes through you and JKybett.
I take the hill.

(hehe... flail ninja!)

[Clowsrule]

it goes through JKybett and has the boomerang effect and comes back and gett stuck in your head. I'm to lazy to climb all the way back up the hill, so the next poster can have it.

[noidtluom]

the next poster can have it.

I have the hill.

I sneak up behind you and shout boo. You're so suprised you fall over, and I use you as my throne while I survey my new hill

JKybett you should've whacked him where the sun don't shine.

[JKybett]

I have the hill.
JKybett you should've whacked him where the sun don't shine.

And that's the first thing I do before kindly asking if i can have the hill. A strange power I get when a... umm... radioactive nuclear power plant lands on my head makes me undeniable and you let me have the hill (and guard it for me)

[friendly spoon]

i walk up the hill, and attempt to bribe noidtluom. This fails so i shoot him innahead and have a mighty battle with JKybett (i'm his supervilain arch nemisis) and defeat him.
My hill.

[noidtluom]

I have a bullet in my head. I become like that guy in James Bond who can't feel pain. Whoo. I stroll up the hill, have a really epic battle in which I don't suffer at all, but you do, then resume my rightful place, at the top of the hill.

['Ello Guv'ner]

I become like that guy in James Bond who can't feel pain.

But your slowly dying any way so i guard the hill for you until you die and then i take the hill.

You just died, my hill!

[Clowsrule]

Ok, this one is REALLY REALLY creative...

i shoot 'Ello Guv'ner in the face and take the hill

['Ello Guv'ner]

You stupid or something? You can't kill a hindu, which i might add, i still am!

I'm back and pissed because I keep dying so I go on a killing spree like on GTA:SA with the inf health cheat on.

[friendly spoon]

But you got reincarnated as a rabbit! (thats like, the next step up from being cockney in hinduism :eng101: ) So anyway, i take the ungaurded hill that has a strande, invincible rabbit on top, and keep it as a pet.

M-m-my hill!

[JKybett]

"Well, this looks like a nice hill... hmmm... shame about the guy at the top and... hey, little rabbit, could you do me a favour? nibble that guys balls off." *pause* "Hmmm... that was a little harsh but hey, I'll just take my place anyway."

[Shintaz]

JKybett is sitting on the hill alone. I see him, and offer him a deal that we share the hill. He signs the contract and we both sit there, happily talking.

Now who would want to ruin something as happy as that? :(

[noidtluom]

Now who would want to ruin something as happy as that?

Me.

I join, make a threesome, and both of you are scarred for life. You leave. I win.

[carrotcake]

I return from my holiday in France and use my shaman juice to suspend noid in mid air while infants drop on him from a height.

[Shintaz]

noid runs off. carrotcake hasn't taken the hill yet.

I sit on the hill. xD

['Ello Guv'ner]

Foolish Shintaz, i have converted to buddhism, which has a different reincarnation system, so now I'm human again and murder you all, then meditate atop my hill.