dead
01-11-2007, 08:57 PM
Whilst on the way to interview a certain premier on his view on climate change, I found myself detained by an extremely obese, seemingly sentient being, that some may categorise as a "woman", but only in the loosest sense of the word. At first I found myself repulsed, until I realise that what she spoke to me of was possibly the most important break-through in studies into genetics in recent years. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to present to you the biggest story of the year, entirely exclusive to Weebls-Stuff.com.
Ms. Eileen Fraps delivers her long-anticipated thesis on the links between Greasy Food and Genetic Mutation
"You see, I was browsing through my son's GCSE physics textbook, wondering what the hell they taught them these days, when I happened upon this diagram:
http://www.darkheartstudios.co.uk/images/mickinson/image1.png
At first I merely skimmed over it, but then one small detail caught my eye. Almost a tenth of background radiation in the UK comes from food. This set me thinking. I have always been a large girl, and have always assumed that this is somehow the governments fault, in some vague, scape-goat style way. However, now that this information has finally been made available to the public, I know that it is the government's fault. All my life I have been unwittingly exposed to food, little knowing the dangerous levels of radiation emitted by it.
Our government has been filling our food with sources of ionising radiation for years, hoping that we wouldn't notice, in an attempt to turn us into helpless mounds of fat, easy for them to command and fool.
Well I for one will not stand for this any longer! Come with me, good people of Britain, and stand against this unspeakable evil!"
At this point, the mudskipper returned to her home with a large bag of chips, and what appeared to be a steak and kidney pie. DNA analysis of spittle left on the microphone by her rant has revealed that years of exposure to this radiotion has left her genetic coding looking something like this:
http://www.darkheartstudios.co.uk/images/mickinson/image2.png
Test needs reformatting, and could probably do with some feedback, but hey.
Ms. Eileen Fraps delivers her long-anticipated thesis on the links between Greasy Food and Genetic Mutation
"You see, I was browsing through my son's GCSE physics textbook, wondering what the hell they taught them these days, when I happened upon this diagram:
http://www.darkheartstudios.co.uk/images/mickinson/image1.png
At first I merely skimmed over it, but then one small detail caught my eye. Almost a tenth of background radiation in the UK comes from food. This set me thinking. I have always been a large girl, and have always assumed that this is somehow the governments fault, in some vague, scape-goat style way. However, now that this information has finally been made available to the public, I know that it is the government's fault. All my life I have been unwittingly exposed to food, little knowing the dangerous levels of radiation emitted by it.
Our government has been filling our food with sources of ionising radiation for years, hoping that we wouldn't notice, in an attempt to turn us into helpless mounds of fat, easy for them to command and fool.
Well I for one will not stand for this any longer! Come with me, good people of Britain, and stand against this unspeakable evil!"
At this point, the mudskipper returned to her home with a large bag of chips, and what appeared to be a steak and kidney pie. DNA analysis of spittle left on the microphone by her rant has revealed that years of exposure to this radiotion has left her genetic coding looking something like this:
http://www.darkheartstudios.co.uk/images/mickinson/image2.png
Test needs reformatting, and could probably do with some feedback, but hey.