The Killer £1

['Ello Guv'ner]

Basicly, I'll have a £1 coin and it is bad luck and I die. The next person to post has to tell me how I die and then take the coin and then they die and so on and so on. But, there is a rule, you cannot kill the person bellow you, just say how they die.

Right, one day im walking down a high street and then I find a pound coin on the ground, so i pick it up and keep it...

[arw360degrees]

but it's surface is slightly acidic and you decide to keep it for sentimental purposes in your shirt pocket where it eventually burns through your skin to your heart.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Now you take the coin, and you cross the street without looking both ways and get run over by optimus prime.

Now i get the coin(i'm someone new)

[Shalashaska]

Suddenley the devil rises up and asks you to sell your soul. For a pound. You agree and are taken down to hell. a week later, the devil loses it in a poker game to me.

[crab]

Being the Devil, he's allowed to cheat about things like that, so he sends demonds after you to kill you and take it back.

However, flying back, one of them drops it...

[Shintaz]

and crab picks it up. It then slips out of his pocket and he slips on it, cracking his head on the pavement.

I pick the coin up!

['Ello Guv'ner]

You fall of a cliff when a hurricane hits you at the coast, I'm walking along the beach with my girlfriend who gets crushed by the falling corpse, i grieve for a minute then find the pound and cheer up, I never liked her that much anyway.

[Clowsrule]

She hears your thoughths, because she is dead and has super powers, and her ghost kills you for not liking her.

The coin rolls out of your pocket and I pick it up.

[Insanity is fun]

All of a sudden a portal opens up in the ceiling above you and a cube comes through and lands on your head, killing you instantly

I pick up the coin..............

[Clowsrule]

You die of a heart attack, (cuz of your un-creative last post), I I pick up the coin.

[Shintaz]

A ninja comes out of the shadows and looks at clows pound coin. He shings out his samurai sword and jumps away. Then a blimp lands on clowsrule. Ninja DISTRACTION!

I pick up the one pound coin!

['Ello Guv'ner]

But, the ninja wants his pay, when you don't give it to him he kills you. So I find the coin.

[JKybett]

but, accidentally drops it in his soup causing him to die.
Later a mate working at the local morgue gives me this £1 coin he found lodged in someones throat.

[Qwertyuiop]

Unfortunately, you choose to walk past McDonalds on your way home and get beaten to death by a group of pikeys who film the event on their mobile phone. During all of this, the £1 gets accidentally thrown in the air and lands in the brim of my bowler hat.

[Clowsrule]

then your hat falls off and rolls tword the group of pikeys, you chase after it and they kill you, and throw the coin into a sewer. Luckily that is were I live, and I grab the coin.

[Qwertyuiop]

Delighted with your find, you head towards an exit so you can spend your £1 on some penny chews and those chocolate cigarettes most people bought when they were younger so that they "looked hard". You trip over your untied shoelace and land by some rats. Attracted by the bright colour of the £1, they start gnawing away at your hand. A passing tramp scares them off. Just as you go to thank him, he kicks you in the head with his steel toe-capped boots. This tramp is uber strong therefore the kick causes instant death.

I'm not quite sure how I managed to resurrect myself to make this posting, but I did. My reincartation picks up the £1.

[Insanity is fun]

Having recovered from my heart attack, I am walking down the street where I see a man kicked to death by a tramp and you holding a £1 coin

You cross the road and do not notice a bus speeding towards you, I try to warn you but it's too late and the bus hits you and you die

I pick up the coin...........

[yellowmongoose]

.... and promptly get savaged by a pack of rabid dogs (Chihuahuas in fact)

The coin gets knocked out of your hand and bounces across the floor, landing at my feet. I pick it up....

[JKybett]

...and the coin is melted by the blast of a nuke along with you...
...later my mate at a coin factory gives me a defective £1 coin made from a melted gold mess found in a nuke blast...
(The coin now weighs slightly less than before)

['Ello Guv'ner]

...You walk home and have a bath, but you shower radio falls in, faults and electrocutes you. later I steal the coin from the police evidence room, along with the clothes they were in...

[arw360degrees]

The clothes however, are lined with helium. As you weigh less than JKybett you begin to float once outside(?) You reach an altitude which causes you to suffocate. Out of good will, you give the £1 to me who is passing by, baffled by the sight of a floating suffocating person holding a suit, in a hot air balloon

[cobaltninja]

suddenly an 100-tonne weight falls from the sky squashing you, and the pound slowy rolls towards me.

[Clowsrule]

ok, since yours wasn't creative you just get shot in the face by me and I take the coin.

[Insanity is fun]

Having recovered from being savaged by rabid chihuahuas, I am fed up with the world

I find an abandoned tank, steal it and find it still has one shell loaded in.

I decide to blow up the first person I see, and that just happens to be you

I blow you to smithereens but the coin survives and rolls under the tank and gets bent out of shape

Being someone who has a strange liking for bent coins, I pick up the coin

['Ello Guv'ner]

Luckily i know the "spawn rhino" cheat off by heart and use it to blow up your tank and kill you. i take the coin(or the game would end).

[JKybett]

I was walking along a field with my loaded shell (as you do) when I saw a man get out of his tank to pick something up. Another man starts pretending to type onto an imaginary keyboard when the first man sees him and accidentally has a heart attack.
I kick the second in the arse and the fall breaks his neck.
I pick up the coin and say "Hello again little one."

[maldirth]

You get squashed to death under Mister Qwerty's fat body.

I manage to extract the pound coin form your twitching remains.

[friendly spoon]

But mr. Qwerty's body rolls over and crushes you and i take the coin.

[JKybett]

I walk along and start to mug you when you notice there's another me writhing under my adoptive fathers body and hence I cause another heart attack.

I take the coin

[Shintaz]

After you picked the coin up you saw a sign reading "Get a free massage, only one pound!" You run over there, delighted, only to trip on the curb. Your face slides along the floor, bleeding and scratching. You end up at the foot of the Pikeys. They laugh at you and tread on your face until you die.
Meanwhile, whilst you were sliding, the coin rolled out of your hand. I pick it up. :)

[ObUk]

shintaz meets some scientists and tell him that he is
just an android covered in living tissue.
you peel back some of your skin and find out its true.:ultra:
your neutral net processor cant deal with this fact and fatally shuts down.

I pry the coin out of your now rigid hand and walk off down the street. :angel:

[carrotcake]

The cracks in the pavement turn into real crocodiles, eating ObUK's lower body, causing him to die painfully and slowly, the coin rolls down the street and I pick it up.

[Shintaz]

You enter a bank to deposit the pound coin, when a portal opens underneath you and one on top. You are in an infinite portal loop. You drop the coin whilst screaming and I pick it up.
Then, the portals close as you're falling, crushing your spine into your face. ^^

['Ello Guv'ner]

Then Shintaz Sees the "Massage Only 1 pound" sign goes in and spends the coin, has a lovely time until he die from a mistake that breaks his spine. later i pinch the coin from the till.

[bobfrey the great]

You then go to buy a cheap tazer you have seen advertised, when testing it malfunctions and makes your heart explode. i find the coin next to a big burn mark on the pavement.

[friendly spoon]

Having barely survived my heart attack i came out of hospital unable to pay my bills. I turned to robbery, but the getaway driver was drunk and crashed into you. I take the pound and run.

[Insanity is fun]

I see you running and trip you with my foot

You fall and as your face hits the ground it bounces and lands and smashes on the ground and splits open and your brains fall out

I pick up the coin, laugh and then get a jetpack and fly off

['Ello Guv'ner]

You fly in to the engines of a plane and die while taking everyone on the plane with you. the coin falls out of the sky and dents my car roof, I brake get out and pick up the coin.

[arw360degrees]

A white van man runs you over. The coin rolls into the sewer. Enter... ME!

[midas22]

The teenage mutant ninja turtles see you as a threat and slice and dice you. I take off a turtle costume and pick up the coin...

[Qu1f]

Unfourtunatly the turtles discover that you are a human. Strap you onto a turtle rocket, and blast you out into space. You drop the coin that makes a giant hole in my house, I take the coin so it can be deposited to pay for my repairs, I get in my car to get to the bank....

['Ello Guv'ner]

When you fall into a hole in the road, should pay attention to were you going. The hole seems to go on forever, until you hit the bottom and some how survive long enough to be kill by your car falling on you. I go in a cave and find the coin next the wreckage of a car.

[Insanity is fun]

Whilst walking through a cave, I see a man by some car wreckage holding a coin

I take advantage of the darkness of the cave and sneak up behind him and quickly grab his head and turn it, breaking his neck and killing him instantly

I pick up the coin................

['Ello Guv'ner]

Which breaks the rules because you can't be involved in the killing. so your post dosn't count and i still have the coin.

[friendly spoon]

Which breaks the rules because you can't be involved in the killing. so your post dosn't count and i still have the coin.

Which means...

I see you running and trip you with my foot

You fall and as your face hits the ground it bounces and lands and smashes on the ground and splits open and your brains fall out

I pick up the coin, laugh and then get a jetpack and fly off

...I still have the coin. YAYS! I R RICH!

[weeblhaspie]

...When you touch the coin the picture of the queen has laser eyes and zaps you out of existance then when i pick it up i scratch the picture of the queen off...

[friendly spoon]

But you get arrested for blasphemy against the queen and are taken to jail. You die whithin a week. I come back to life and find the coin on the side if the road.

[Insanity is fun]

Rising from the dead, I see you pocket the coin and follow you and pickpocket the coin from you.

When you stop to get it and look at it, you realise it has been stolen.

You then claim to like the music of Dave Stewarts, and die of your foolishness.

[carrotcake]

I shove a carrot up your arse (they call me carrotcake for a reason) and you drop the coin, I pick it up and then persuade a baby to take a shit on your face

[friendly spoon]

Which breaks the rules because you can't be involved in the killing.

You die of breaking the rules and i mug your corpse.

['Ello Guv'ner]

I see you mugging a corpse and call the police, you too are arrested and rot to death in the cell, mean while the police auction you stuff and i get the coin because i bid 1 pound and no one wanted to go over that.

[kratzenbourg II]

You put the coin in your mouth whilst running for the bus. You swallow
it and choke to death.
I get the coin from the doctor who performs your autopsy when he gives it
to me as purchase for a pie.

['Ello Guv'ner]

but, you buy some pie but, it's turd snot pie and you die from being disgusting and eating it! I'm working at the shop and get the coin in my wages.

[friendly spoon]

But someone mugs th shop and you die of a heart attack. The coin rolls through the door and i pick it up

[Feawen]

The coin has been super magnetised by the automatic doors and sends you into the nearest garbage truck. The pound sticks to the wall of the truck as you are crushed, loses magnetism and falls into my palm.

[carrotcake]

you get hit several times by a helicopter flying low, I pick up the coin and streak down the road

['Ello Guv'ner]

Assuming when you say streak you mean running around naked, you get arrested and by a new law stating that streakers are to be hanged, you are hanged(first person the new law affects), i get a front row seat and the coin falls out of your hand and into mine.

[friendly spoon]

The scafolding collapses and crushes you to death.

Ypu leave me the coin in your will.

[mutatedlemon]

you die and i get the coin for being so imaginative

[Satans Trousers]

Suddenly, a hooded youth pops out of the blue and hits you witha Phillip Pullman novel. When the crime police come to investigate your death they attempt to impound it as evidence, I claim it is mine and they give it to me...

[JKybett]

They discover it is not yours and sentence you to death (yup, really). they return the corpse to me by placing it in my coffin.

whilst out on a stroll I come across a tombstone with my name on it. Terrified, I dig up the grave and see my own rotting corpse. Then I notice the coin... I pause; I examine the coin; I pick it up and examine it some more; I look at the date; I measure its radioactivity; I study the queens head on it and notice the nose defect... It's so... familiar... I pick up the coin as though a strange force was telling me it was already mine...

^^^Man, that would make a great novel opening!

[Littleshore]

Amazed by this feeling you forget to look where you are going, and fall off a cliff. In mid air, you grab a hold of a branch and save your life. For now.

While you are hanging there, thinking about how to get down without killing yourself, the biggest kind of monster magpie with big pointy teeth and a breath that could kill ten strong men catches the glimmering shine of the coin and decides that it wants it. You fight over the £1 with you being at a serious disadvantage, because you can not fly or anything. Still you manage to fight it off again and again, just barely holding on to the branch.

The bird finally gives up and fly away to eat jumbo jets or blimps or whatever. You decide to freeclimb your way down the rest of the cliff. The road is dangerous, and many places you must use your bodyweight to shift from one safe spot to another. Tired and bleeding, you finally reach the steady ground, just to realize that there is no steady ground, only lethal swamp area. After wading through about a mile or two, you reach dry land.

Tired, you finally reach a road leading you away from this hell hole. Suddenly you feel ill. That burger last night have given you lethal food poisoning, and you fall to your knees and die a painful death. Some wolves drags your corpse away from the road. You are now the Christmas dinner for a starving family of wolves. Your life finally has a meaning. Congratulations.

Meanwhile, I'm out hiking, and stumble upon the coin. I pick it up for safe keeping.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Just because that last post is so big I'm going makes this as short as possible:

You die, me get coin!

[Pinky`]

Suddenly, a large meteor crashes into you and you die. The coin escapes magically from the burst and lands on my head. it is quite hot.

['Ello Guv'ner]

It's so hot that it burns though your skull and instantly kills you, then your body falls over and the coin falls out. I wash it off and take it home.

[Charming]

You get home, sit down and watch tv for the next 64 hours non-stop. After being brainwashed by the masses of crap on every channel you suddenly feel that it would be an excellent idea to be "made of money", just like those rich twats in the adverts. You run down to the basement where you keep your secret lab (and pool table). You attempt to fuse your own DNA with the £1 coin.

You fail and die. I break into your home whilst looking for shiny cooking ware (as I am a cooking ware thief) and discover the coin. Then I steal it, naturally.

['Ello Guv'ner]

A lot of people have been arrested in this thread, and your another. my neighbours report you to the police and your are arrested for breaking and entering. You get stoned(;):D) to death. there was a free for all on all your worldly possessions and i got the coin and your car.

[Charming]

Sadly, you did not realise that I stole the car too, being the great theif that I am, and that it is no ordinary car. It was made by some kind of car making genius and programmed only to be driven by its owner (me). The lovely vehicle turns on you and savages you to death! The coin is blasted far away to the cemetery where I was buried.

By some amazing chance it lands on my grave and ressurects me. I wander down the road in my zombie-like state, £1 richer.

[Littleshore]

Your zombie like state scares a lot of people, and somebody calls Bruce Campbell. He kills you with his s-mart rifle. Shop smart, shop s-mart!

Also, I forgot to be dead, and walked past your dead-dead corpse, saw it, and took the £1

[friendly spoon]

But seeing the queeens face on the coin reminds you that you are dead.
I take the coin.

[mutatedlemon]

the coin stabs you....

i take the coin and sit ontop of a man hole

[carrotcake]

But a moving volcano squishes you, the coing pinng upwards into the erupting volcano and ping back again into my hands, luckily I'm wearing gloves

['Ello Guv'ner]

But not fireproof gloves, so the coin melts your hands and you die from mass blood loss. i pick up the blood soaked coin.

[Charming]

The blood on the coin attracts a swarm of unattractive teenage vampires with severely bad acne. Their horrible, pallid, pus-filled nastiness rubs off onto you and you consequently die of the vampire uglies. I enter in awesome style and slay all the hideous looking adolescents, taking the £1 coin as my reward/ payment.

[Shintaz]

However, in your "cool style", you forget to look where you're going, as ou're always looking up with shades on (to look cool). You accidentally trip on a curb, falling into the leader of the Italian Mafia. He asks you what you're doing in a rude manner and pulls out a knife. You throw your hands up, throwing the coin backwards. I catch it and place it in my pocket. :)

[carrotcake]

you then get your face sliced off and a necrophiliac takes a picture of it and puts it in your sig, I am that necrophiliac and I take the coin

[friendly spoon]

Which breaks the rules because you can't be involved in the killing.
You die of breaking the rules and a mug your corpse.

[carrotcake]

I wasn't involved! I just took a picture and the coin! I don't know why he got his face sliced off!

You get shot by an angry monkey because you got proved wrong ^.^

The coin is mine

[Charming]

Whilst you are placing le coin in your pocket, the Duke of Nachos strolls by in a pompous and opulent fashion. In your attempt to impress him, and perhaps be mentioned in his will, you perform a triple backwards tortilla flip. You die halfway through in a freak accident due to a lack of tortilla chips. The Duke is unimpressed and wanders off. I stand around viewing the aftermath along with all the middleaged busybodies and swiftly take the coin whilst they discuss how much blood there was.

It is slightly sticky. Eww.

[carrotcake]

I am saved by a miracle of some sort, I look around to see that I have landed on a sign saying '34th street'. I wander off and slowly stalk you and am about to break the rules and stab you when a bucket of paint falls on your head (like that really annoying advert.)
I chuckle for a moment until I notice you dead on the floor, it seemed someone just shot you. I look around and I see that King Marmaduke and his floating circus had just been practicing their 'Eeyore' trick and it had gone slighty wrong. Oh well, I stamp on your lifeless face and take the coin (she was already dead so I can do that.)

[Satans Trousers]

You suddenly contract USD Disease (Unexpected Sudden Death) and kill yourself because of it. The police are there deciding whether it was murder, suicide or just USD. I had recently come back to life after suffering the death punishment for unlawful coin theft. One off the cops recognised me so I picked up the coin and lobbed it at their face. It struck him between the eyes and killed him in one shot. I ran and sought refuge in a local Maccie Dees. I put my hands in my pocket and find the coin (AGGGGHHHHBH MAGIC COIN!)...

[carrotcake]

It is magical in many ways, because you put it in the wrong pocket, you die of radiation poisoning, I take the coin, put it in the right pocket and enjoy the feeling......Ohh so warm

[Satans Trousers]

Yes, nice and warm for you but far too hot for your trousers. They revolt and kill you with buttons. My zombie finds and pick up the coin. It turns me back to the alives to wreak more havoc...

[Charming]

Sadly, your havoc wreaking is cut tragically short because you were brought back to life... in the middle of WWII. You asked Winston Churchill for permission to wreak more havoc but as everyone knows he is dysexlic*. Because of this you have instead been sent the equipment for streaking from Hav Co. Seeing a naked man for the first time in months is too much for all the young, voluptuous war widows and so you are ravaged to death.

At least it was a good way to go! At this time I am just emerging from my lovely time machine and spot the £1 coin amidst your remains. I take it and then travel to the year 1066.

*yes, I spelt dyslexic like that for the purpose of irony.

[friendly spoon]

You get confused as to why everybody is French and die of confusion(?)
The coin falls into the sea for many years to finnally be unearthed by my in the year 2008.

['Ello Guv'ner]

There for you are in the future because we are still in 2007, and so i find the coin and it's not there for you to find in the future. This tampering with time destroys you.

[Charming]

There was a random scientific leap for no reason whatsoever so everything is all shiny and robotic now. You mince down the street (which is all chrome-like and futuristic looking) wondering how to spend your £1 when the chairman of the International Moneys informs you via hover telly that all pound coins are null, void and therefore worthless. You explode in a fit of rage and get a bleeding ear. You are so angry that the Buddhist Police Squad feel they have no choice but to imprison you in an intensive yoga camp. You die from yoga.

Shame you didn't realise it was April Fool's day; the chairman was only joking! I grab the £1 coin whilst laughing to myself.

['Ello Guv'ner]

I get out of prison and hunt you down, just I'm about to pick your pocket you die for some unknown reason and i steal the coin before anyone notices that your dead.

[Charming]

I have been reincarnated as a noodle charmer and, with my irresistable charm, persuade the biggest, soggiest and most rabid looking noodle to choke you like a big noodley snake. Then it eats you. Sadly, the noodle has had a hard life and never tasted anything as rich as corpse meat so it explodes and the coin it digested lands neatly in my pursey purse.

[Satans Trousers]

Your pursey purse happens to be a portal to WWII time and it lands beside my ravaged body. You step through the portal and point at a plane, accidentally making the nazi salute. You are shot in the face by a man with a handlebar moustache called Colonel Enabarbus.

Despite being very much dead I become alive because the coin make me alive.

[Charming]

You attempt to thank the coin by pursuing it in a whirlwind romance: dinner... dancing... a gentle stroll on the beach while the sun sets... The coin is flattered by this but doesn't feel ready to be in a committed relationship. Plus it doesn't like your underwear. So it makes you dead again and leaves you for someone a little more carefree, who will treat it like crap.

That someone is me. Muahahaha I stole your money AND your love interest all in one majestic swoop! How time efficient!

[carrotcake]

you were'nt doing your homework one day when your father says "Come on, homework never killed anyone". You reply that you don't want to be the first, you then die of mysterious injuries.

I dive through the window, give you some Nando chicken as your last wish and I take the coin, that loves me, because I have Nando coupons. :)

[Charming]

You run out of coupons, your car gets stolen and you are crushed by a stampede of delicious piri piri chicken wings... extra hot... *drool* Oh and the £1 coin leaves your dead, delicious smelling corpse for mine. What can I say, my dashing, mysterious injuries help me get all the coins hehe.

All in all this was a pretty rubbish day for you.

[Satans Trousers]

Starting to get worried by all bicurious coinage going on...

Errrr... Your dead... I take the coin.

[Charming]

So just because I went out with a cursed £1 a couple of times I don't get an exciting death? Well!

You use the £1 to buy a share in my company. This is a sensible and therefore boring desicion. Boringness breeds boringness and so you die a boring and not at all interesting death. I have your coin. Serves you right! :D

[carrotcake]

I throw rabbit plop in your face until you fall off a conveniently placed cliff, as your last wish, you throw the coin to safety. My coin.

[Charming]

My loyal servant, the giant lion, sees all of this going on and isn't very pleased because now he won't get his wages. Plus, because he is a giant lion he doesn't take kindly to ladies/unicorns and so he eats your face. You die from having too much bare faced (geddit???) cheek. Or lack thereof because you no longer have a face, muahahahahaha! Then he steals the £1, a goat and your soul, using the last two in a ritual to ressurect me. Then he gives me back my £1 coin and I tickle his tummy as a reward. Awww he's purring!

[carrotcake]

Sadly, he didn't know how smokin' hot I am and the lion explodes in your face, causing to die because there is a bone stuck through your face. I replace my face and stick my soul back in with PVA glue. I then take the coin and use it in the vending machine.

[Charming]

The vending machine can't handle the shock of actually having money put into it, like nature intended, and falls over, crushing you to le death. I give it a kick for good measure and the coin rolls out and jumps into the brim of my delightful hat.

['Ello Guv'ner]

I have a sex appeal ray and use it on my self, i put it on coin setting so the one pound coin comes to me and hugs and kisses me, the lack of the coins magic keeping you alive kills you(That bits obvious).

[Satans Trousers]

You are so attractive to coins that you get raped in your sleep by naughty 5ps. You catch sex cancer and die. The coin the seeks revenge for the death of his/her crush (you) and for it to carry out revenge of such immensitude against all 5ps it needs help from the worlds most ruthless leader. Me.

[Charming]

Once all 5ps have been eradicated, £1 coin decides that it wants to go solo and calls forth all the £20 notes to smother you in your sleep. So technically, you die from richness... classy! The cursed coin opts for Spain as the country in which to start its tyrannical reign of terrors and boards my sexy little plane. In le rain. Sorry, I thought I'd try and keep the rhyme going... *cough cough*

Anyway, the soothing airline music soon soothes the £1, making it change its mind and convert to Buddhism, so we are off to the big, spiky, unforgiving mountain peaks to meditate! I am sure no bad can come of this!

[Satans Trousers]

Hmm... Last time you said 'nothing bad can come of this', you got boy parts.

Whilst in the big pointy mountains you decide to get some mountain Nandos to eats. Some foreign currency (who aren't peaceful Buddhists) start shouting racist mega-loathes at you, but being Buddhists you just take it and be calm. They get angry with your no reaction-ness so they pick up their drinks and lob them at you. You realise they have just broke Nandos glasses and therefore hurt Nandos. You flip and attack them. You and the coin are severely outnumbered and both die in hospital. Whilst you achieve enlightenment for dying to protect Nandos, the coin has done many bad things in his life he is reincarnated as a 50p. I too have been reincarnated, but as a £1 coin because I killed all those 5p coins. The coin, now a 50p uses magic to take over my body and swap, so he's a pound again. During the swap, I gain a little bit of his magic and use it up turning human again. I pick up the coin and walk off...

...so you are ravaged to death.
...you die from richness... classy!

YAY! 2 nice deaths!

[Charming]

Hmm... Last time you said 'nothing bad can come of this', you got boy parts.

That IS a good thing for me hehe I always wondered what it was like for the other half, you know...

Anyway, your long and complex plotline is frowned upon by disdainful critics and deemed "a quintessential parody of pungent flavourings for the discerning literary gourmet's palate." Since this review makes no sense to you (or anyone else) you die from a confusion overdose.

The £1 comes crawling back to me and I take it under my chubby Buddhist bingo wing because Buddha teaches forgiveness and such like. Possibly. By this time I have been reincarnated as a big, busty blonde (apparently my flipping out wasn't a very Buddhist thing to do) and whisk the coin off to my latest fashion show, tucking it safely into my ample cleavage.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Because of your amazing beauty you get raped and the coin is stolen, but; seeing as in your new busty blond state your a bit of a slut anyway; you don't care and so the coin kills several people before returning to me.

[Charming]

Amazing beauty eh? *blush and giggle* well I think you are certainly deserving a good death today! The goddess of fortune is smiling down upon you... but sadly her unlucky but really awesome sister gets to you first. Since you have money she falls in love with you and takes you on a date to the new Monster-Truck-Beer-and-Ninja theme park and...

...well the demise thing doesn't really need explaining does it? I mean, you're with some amazing clumsy goddess in a monster truck, getting pished on beers and running over ninjas. God. I wish I could die like that. The park is closed after your tragic death and all the stuff in it was auctioned. I buy the £1 for 50p, plus comission. It was totally worth it.

['Ello Guv'ner]

Sounds like the perfict death to me so i rest in peace because of my satisfaction with my death and now i'm in that great big Monster-Truck-Beer-and-Ninja theme park in the sky.

[friendly spoon]

God smites thee for being cheap. I take the pound.

[Charming]

Shakespeare will usually just lie down in his olde grave and take it when people abuse his language but your use of "thee" seems to have been the straw that broke the playwright's back. He randomly comes back to life and karate chops your face. Then he dragon kicks your butt. Then he gets his nunchucks out. You die from oriental/ olde English pwnage.

God unsmites me after the realisation that it wasn't cheapness, merely a bargain and he gives me back the £1 too. He's not such a bad creator after all.

['Ello Guv'ner]

I'll say, he runs an excellent great big Monster-Truck-Beer-and-Ninja theme park in the sky.

[Charming]

Ooh I'm jealous! I want to go there now! I must die in some sort of honourable fashion to gain access to this theme park, perhaps a ninja death is fitting...

*commits seppuku*

Monster Trucks here comes I! :D

['Ello Guv'ner]

welcome, but that theme park isn't all they've got in heaven, there's stuff for everyone and if you want something and it isn't up here you can just ask for it and it will appear.

[Charming]

*gasp* seriously??? WOW! Ok, get me a hot ginger guy, some Nando's, a little sushi, another hot ginger guy, Radiohead, some rum and some phetamine diet pills!

Oh yeah! I loves heaven :) *drool*

EDIT: oh and some poker chips wouldn't go amiss. And a can opener.

['Ello Guv'ner]

One thing i didn't mention is if you don't sin enough in life to go to heaven then when you get there you can sin all you want!

[friendly spoon]

I found the coin laying next to some woman who has appeared to have stabbed herself in the chest with a katana.

[Charming]

Huzzah! Someone remembered I'm female! On another note... Mister Guv'ner, sir, are you sure about the sinning thang? 'Cause I mean, I know god is forgiving and all but surely he's not silly enough to be THAT forgiving?

If he is that silly I could rule heaven... *rubs hands together menacingly*

['Ello Guv'ner]

Sorry, i meant singing not sinning.

If you play enough music your guaranteed a place in heaven, unless you seriously sin bad.

[Charming]

Damn! Ah well, I'd better practice my harmonising then.

[MOONHITLER]

nub slipps on the blood, the pound goes flying into the air , down the drain, into the sea, it washes up on the shore, an astronaught finds it, claims it to be lucky, keeps it until he crash-lands on the moon, which obviosly kills him, and i find it on the shore of the sea of tranquility.

[friendly spoon]

You are killed by the lack of atmosphere. I become an astronaut and find the coin. I take it back to earth and use it as proof that aliens exist.

[Littleshore]

You are being chased by MIBS for trying to tell the world about life on other planets. During the chase, you lose the coin and get run over by a bus. Then a train. Then a rickshaw. Then a leaky oil truck. Then a burning car.

I'm out on a treasure hunt, and finds the coin! Whee, it is my lucky day!

[harwin101]

You Are suddenly transorted into the future where cheese is ruler of this whole empire. this would be fine if you where not alleric to cheese. your eyes puff up and you turn into a shrimp.

many years from then when all the cheese has been eaten i find a £1 coin i pocket it.

[Charming]

At this time the Empress of Maccy D's is throwing a tantrum because she has run out of seal pup tears and can't moisturise her face with cream like "those commonly pigdogs". So she sends out her eskimomomo hunters to grab some fresh pups.

You just so happen to be a seal pup. Handy! You are forced to watch the Titanic/Bambi remix (feat. Fiddy Cent) over and over until all your tears have been extracted, then your dried out seal pup husk is made into mince for a McBlubber Deluxe. Mmmm...! I buy you in burger form and get the killer £1 as change along with 29p and a button.

[JKybett]

You sell the button to a collector for millions, unfortunately you can't handle all the fame and fortune and go insane from all the publicity. When they take you to the hospital (A.K.A the nut-house) I am instructed to confiscate any contraband material, among the confiscated material is a lemon, three hang-gliders and a change purse (I don't open in but the £1 is in their believe me).

[arw360degrees]

Years go by with the change purse gathering dust and this thread going ignored. You die of old age and who should be assigned to clearing out your house but me. I find the coin purse, open it, see the coin, pocket it, revive a dead thread and have a cup of tea.

[magsie o skaw]

the cup of tea gave you arsenic poisoning so you die and i find the coin due to inhereting it in your last will and testament.

[mat-tracteur561]

walking out from the soliciters office you are trampled by 398 sheep and then by a tractor with a P.T.O powerd rotavator then your remains are swept into the sewer were they o out to see ge eaten by a fish caught by fishermen and transformed into fishfingers at you fish renedring plant but aid fish fingers dont make quality standard and are melted down into de icer for my tractor

i find a 1 pound coin off a dead body i find lying in the street after id run oer it with my tractor

[Hydralisk]

You take the pound coin and are driving down the street in your tractor. Unfortunately, the boyracers behind you don't appreciate tractors and pull you out of your tractor and beat you to death. I nip into the tractor and take the deadly quid...

[Syl]

Hydralisk walks off with the pound and crosses the road. He sees the aeroplane that's hurrying towards him too late and gets a plane in his eye. The coin blasts off at great speed and lands on my head. I pick it up...

[arw360degrees]

unfortunately for you, you'd been eating a particularly buttery bacon sandwich. The liquid butter had lined your hands with a thick coating of grease. The coin slips from your hand and rolls towards me... (I pick it up.)

[Yellow Eggs]

You place the pound coin in your pocket and go home. Years pass and nothing happens until in the year 2036 while working on the goverments first time machine, the t virus becomes released into the air vents. The whole complex becomes infected and hordes of the infected chase after you while you try and defend yourself with a cat bazooka. Meanwhile the coin has fell into the time machine and turned up in my hand.

[Hydralisk]

You decide to amble over to a shop where I work at, and buy a bottle of Irn Bru. Unfortunately, it is the first bottle of Irn Bru ever made and you get severe poisoning from it. I'm wearing an eye patch from earlier on so I couldn't spot it and warn you. Sorry 'bout that.

I need change for the bus home, so I take said coin with me.

[rde563]

however the bus crashes into a rogue sherman tank you fly from the top of the double decker and impale your anus on a fence post. the coin goes flying and breaks my window so i pick it up to buy a new one

[magsie o skaw]

you cut your jugular artery on a shard of glass and bleed as you walk to the window shop and die from loss of blood, i frisk your corpse and steal the coin.

[mat-tracteur561]

you walk down the street little did you know that you are in the sights of agent 47 your are shot by a laser...wich is pretty cool but your still dead
i realise you are dead and nick your wallet before the old bill arrives inside its is a pornographic picture a condom 52 quid (epic win) a paper clip and a strangly blood soaked one pound coin in it

[magsie o skaw]

later, as i was shot by a laser...wich is pretty cool but i'm still dead, i haunt you to insanity and you are commited to an insane asylum, then i get re-incarnated and steal the pound and my pornographic picture, condom, 52 quid and my precious antique paper clip and then go to a bookies!

[mat-tracteur561]

in the asylum i get abducted and taken to remote underground lair in romania i am trained to hunt and be a silent assasin i fing you in your house and stalk you for a few hours finaly killing you by placing a ru-ap mine in your toilet i drag the remains into a furnace but not before going through your pockets,finding a key and picking up all your diamonds and money's and a one pound coin
then i drive off into the night towards my next target in paris

['Ello Guv'ner]

In Paris you track down your target but he has an elite guard that screw you over and throw your body into the river were i'm fishing. on my line i get some trousers with a one pound coin in them, this is the last of the money i need for fishing trawler so i rush for the ship yard to buy it...

[magsie o skaw]

your fishing trawler sinks but due to insufficent saftey equipment the coastguard aren't alerted and you die from hypothermia in a liferaft and wash ashore at the very small beach at the bottom of my field, i call the ambulance and whilst waiting i go through your pockets and find a familiar yet unrecognisable £1 coin and take it when i go to the pub

[Emptyspraycan]

At the pub a group of chavs confront you, and proceed to kick you to death. An old woman goes through your pockets, stealing the pound, and 20 years later gives it to me. Giggling like a schoolgirl I run off to Woolworths to buy it.

['Ello Guv'ner]

You find that woolworths has already been bought and as you stand outside the deserted roting building the W from the sign falls on your head and kills you, the coin rolls out you pocket and down a drain were i'm working as a sanitarie guy and pick it up, i go home have my usual five baths and go to bed...

[anto475]

during your five baths you shrivel up like a prune and, as you decided to move your bed next to a furnace for the night, you shrivel up and die. the coin evaporates and comes back as a €1 coin when it rains over my house. i pick it up and place it on a wall.

[Dakano]

the wall happens to be the support beam to the house. the coin catches on fire and tears down the house. i'm walking by with an estate agent and find a €1 coin. i go to the post office and they give me 1p. damn credit crunch...

[magsie o skaw]

due to the credit crunch you are unable to pay your bills. balliffs arrive and repossess all your belongings including a 1p which one of the baliffs puts in as charity tub. the charity spends it and after i go into the shop and buy something i get the 1p as change and it gets put into my spare change dish. after the credit crunch is over i sort out my spare change and put it into bags and find i have 100 1p's so i take them in a money bag to the post office and get it changed into a £1 piece

[anto475]

however after the unmentionable event(see post in debates), £1 is the same as 1 zimbabwean dollar and you starve to death. thanks to global warming evaporating the seas, i can walk to your house in the Shetlands from Ireland, which I do and take the coin. i throw it to the dried up North Sea and hit oil, and drown myself, and most of the world, when the oil fills up the space left by the evaporated water

[Dakano]

okay then... that's how you died.

that was easy.

i pick up the zimbabwean dollar

[Emptyspraycan]

Go, CHARMANDER! Charmander eats you. Om nom.

Zibabwean dollar get!

[Dakano]

robert mugabe steals your money and you get shot by somalian pirates

my zimbabwean dollar.

[rachel ^_^]

i throw a sheep which impails itself in your brain

i picks up the monies :)

[AppleLiz]

I release a genetically engineered mouse with razor fur into your room, which you pick up because it's so cute. The fur cuts you and you bleed to death, and the mousie brings me my monies

[vaughan]

When you pick up the money you cut yourself on the rusty fur and contract tetanus. You then go to the hospital to get healed and the incompetent doctors accidentally give you necrotizing fasciitis which you die of.

My worthless piece of paper

[AppleLiz]

Ghost haunts a relation, who meets you for coffee and scalds you with espresso. while you're flailing around in blinding pain, he steals the pound you left for a tip, drinks the remainder of his coffee leisurely and puts his fat cuban cigar out on your tongue, the resulting pain killing you. He walks off, at which point I *someone else* mugs him for his meagre pound.

My monies

[Dakano]

the cat in your signature comes out of hospital after you shot it and shoves your head down a drain, resulting in you having 9 heads due to sewage mutation which become too heavy and result in you being parrallel parked on. i take your coin/note thing that for some reason is zimbabwean. i find 4,879,574 of these and take them to the post office and give me £1

[magsie o skaw]

earlier i got a job as a postman and due to e-mail being used more than the post i get made redundant and go loopey. as you are in the post office i arrive and rob the post office and take everyones money including the £1 before shooting everyone and then taking a boat to somalia and get employed as a pirate

[Dakano]

the pirates spill oil on the boat which you slip over on. sliding towards the edge of the boat you stop millimetres from the edge but a pirate kicks you off the boat. that pirate was me, who found your pound
and also
I GOT A JAR OF DIRT!

sticking with the pirate theme

[anto475]

you become so obsessed with your dirt that you die trying to make love to it. i find your boat floating about and take it, along with the £1 coin, to a BANK(not a post office)to change it into Euros(because you go to banks, NOT post offices). i get €1.04, but cant find anything that costs that much in the recession of ours. RAMPAGE TIME!!!!

[Dakano]

can we just keep it as a bloody pound coin?

i enlist in the army and fire a tranquilizer dart at you. you fall helplessly onto a tower of lego bricks which hurt severely, but as you are in a deep sleep you cannot feel the pain. you die. i pick up the euro and do some magical stuffs on it to turn it back into a pound coin.

[AppleLiz]

As a result of the magical stuffs, your hands fall off and you lose the coin. I walk past and I feel sorry for you, and euthanise you. I then pick up the coin and proceed on my merry way.

[Dakano]

the coin is still magical and melts your hand along with the rest of your body. i put the £1 into a heat-proof jar

[AppleLiz]

you slip in a puddle of bodyness, and i walk along and nab the jar, stopping only to help you up and push you down a well, coz i are teh ebils like that

[Dakano]

as i fall in the well, i bounce on a trampoline someone chucked down there (it's a big well) and come back up with a rocket launcher

bang

you die. i steal your moneys

[AppleLiz]

Fail, that was my evil twin sister that you blew up... we were walking side by side. But anyway, in a total rage i run at you, rugby tackle the rocket launcher from you and throw you to the ground. I tie you up and put the launcher in your mouth and rig a trigger to be pulled from back there.... monies taken and bye-bye face =]

[Dakano]

my face picks you up on the way and eats your monies

[AppleLiz]

Seeing as you have no stomach, i flick your face off and pick up the monies that fell through

[anto475]

i come out of nowhere and strike you down, stealing the £1 coin. i go up North where they still use the pound and buy a LOAD of things and drive back down South again

[AppleLiz]

Shop gets robbed by moi, but they only have a pound, so i track down the cheapskate scourge and do him in for only spending a crappy pound.

[anto475]

after killing me, you realise that all i have in funny english money is that £1 and die of feeling bad. i come back to life, reveal the enormous stash of english money under my bed, and purchase the United Kingdom! i then dissolve it.

[AppleLiz]

Being a heartless biyatch, i only pretend like i'm dead, wait for you to walk past my grave, then reach up out of the earth, swapping places with you, and nicking your pound somewhere in there =D

[anto475]

having switched places with me, the queen now thinks you are me and stabs you repeatedly, demanding her kingdom back. you die and the pound falls to me, i get up and stab the queen, then run.

[magsie o skaw]

as you run away you cross the road and i run you down whilst driving my car, i get out, take the £1 coin and head for buckingham palace where i claim the throne and uk as mine. i then demolish said palace and build a castle in my croft!

[AppleLiz]

I come back as george bush junior and press the BIG RED BUTTON....

Boom!

Your castle has been nuked and i claim this pound in the name of meeeee

[anto475]

when obama gets in, you die, as you no longer have a purpose in life
i take the coin, change it into a € coin, thus causing further complications in the game! mUAHAHAHHA!

[Dakano]

you suddenly turn english and the euro transforms into a pound. your voice sounds wierd so you wash your mouth out. with poison! i repossess your house and money.

[mat-tracteur561]

your house collapses due to not having proper foundations and being reversed into by a tractor (sorry mate) you are in a deep coma so i decide to look through your belongings i found a pound coin just before i hear sirens and decide tp drive off

[Dakano]

i chase you down with a hockey stick and steal your moneys

[mat-tracteur561]

i get pissed off take you down with my rifle steal my pound back go to the tractor shop

[Dakano]

your new tractor falls apart (it cost £1, what did you expect) and crushes you. i steal the pound from your pocket

[mat-tracteur561]

though you trip on the hydraulic oil i am revived by volvic revive take my pound back and go to greggs the bakers

[magsie o skaw]

you spend it on bread in the bakers but the bread has been laced with rat poison and you die, later i come in and sell the baker more rat poison and get the pound coin back as change

[mat-tracteur561]

You accidently tap a bottle of volvic revive and it assplodes the pound falls into my teleporter and i go to the musroom kingdom for a regular prostate exam by link.

[Dakano]

volvic reviiiIIIiiive?

after hearing this, george and alan come to get you and give me the pound cos i'm awesome

[mat-tracteur561]

But little do you know the pound has a tracker on it i find you and shoot you....DEAD

[magsie o skaw]

sadly you step on a landmine and blow yourself to bits and the coin gets lodged in a wall which i walk past a couple of minutes later and pull out the coin, MINE!!!

[mat-tracteur561]

Though sadly you are assploded in an experiment envolving jeremy clarkson and caravans

I pick up your corpse and take it into my cellar and find the 1GBP in your pocket

[Nimblewright]

whilest walking home you find yourself in a Ninja vs. Pirates battle, you are killed by a stray shuriken.

I pick up the pound.