MLynas
03-12-2007, 02:02 PM
The following article was presented and rejected from most major scientific journals, the author has therefore decided to present it to the members of this forum with the brief apology for the white space under the photographs claiming "the uni computer doesn't have photo editing software" It is the authors wish that you find the presented article both informative and amusing
Dr Jekyl
Hurrah it’s Christmas time. Carol singers at your door, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, Vince Vaughn starring in this years Christmas movie. It’s all a bit festive around town.
Or is it?
It seems Christmas is being hijacked by the mediocre and I for one am cheesed off by the whole affair. On Friday I decided to stop by my local European festive market for a wiener schnitzel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiener_schnitzel and some mulled wine, coming back out having paid a strapping Bavarian the better part of ten pounds for the pleasure.
Despite the payment of this royal ransom I found my luncheon to be below my usual standards with schnitzel size being a tad smaller than last years and wine volume definitely on the shy side of thirst quenching bliss.
I have managed to collect enough data to present a graph representing Christmas Cheer and how it is effected by eating pleasure, and shopkeeper “Stinginess” (root form “Stingy” a person with no soul who is devoid of the ability of sharing). All units are measured as a percentage
With the exception of Stinginess which is measured in Wupiupi (pronounced similarly to the Huttese currency used on Tatooine) http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc175/mlynas/graph.jpg
I blame this current decline in pleasure and increase in stinginess on a lack of “Good-Will”. Good will a commodity many governments strived to impart on all men has seen a decline in the last few years. This can in parts be blamed on Hollywood.
In days gone by when good will was high (along with the accidental rhyme) the Christmas movie Santa Claus was an icon. The following images are presented in chronological order and the images themselves speak as evidence of the decline of good will. http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc175/mlynas/santa.jpg
As you can see it is clear that the decline in Hollywood Santa follows the same trend as the fall in good will. Though some scientist argue these two trends are unrelated it is the opinion of many in the academic community that the reason we are experiencing what is now being labelled “The Christmas Problem” or even “Terror Alert White (T.A.W)” must be linked to this decline in Santa.
So as a supporter of St Nick and a lover of the cheap and large wiener schnitzel, I urge you all to demand a better Santa. We must take up arms in this battle against stinginess.
It is this academic observer’s opinion that we must take our Santa from the wizard community. I would urge you all to select a candidate for next years Santa and write a strongly worded letter to the Hollywood studio of your choice. http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc175/mlynas/wiz.jpg
And so I ask you all. Choose your wizard and let’s fight T.A.W together!
Dr Jekyl
Hurrah it’s Christmas time. Carol singers at your door, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, Vince Vaughn starring in this years Christmas movie. It’s all a bit festive around town.
Or is it?
It seems Christmas is being hijacked by the mediocre and I for one am cheesed off by the whole affair. On Friday I decided to stop by my local European festive market for a wiener schnitzel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiener_schnitzel and some mulled wine, coming back out having paid a strapping Bavarian the better part of ten pounds for the pleasure.
Despite the payment of this royal ransom I found my luncheon to be below my usual standards with schnitzel size being a tad smaller than last years and wine volume definitely on the shy side of thirst quenching bliss.
I have managed to collect enough data to present a graph representing Christmas Cheer and how it is effected by eating pleasure, and shopkeeper “Stinginess” (root form “Stingy” a person with no soul who is devoid of the ability of sharing). All units are measured as a percentage
With the exception of Stinginess which is measured in Wupiupi (pronounced similarly to the Huttese currency used on Tatooine) http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc175/mlynas/graph.jpg
I blame this current decline in pleasure and increase in stinginess on a lack of “Good-Will”. Good will a commodity many governments strived to impart on all men has seen a decline in the last few years. This can in parts be blamed on Hollywood.
In days gone by when good will was high (along with the accidental rhyme) the Christmas movie Santa Claus was an icon. The following images are presented in chronological order and the images themselves speak as evidence of the decline of good will. http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc175/mlynas/santa.jpg
As you can see it is clear that the decline in Hollywood Santa follows the same trend as the fall in good will. Though some scientist argue these two trends are unrelated it is the opinion of many in the academic community that the reason we are experiencing what is now being labelled “The Christmas Problem” or even “Terror Alert White (T.A.W)” must be linked to this decline in Santa.
So as a supporter of St Nick and a lover of the cheap and large wiener schnitzel, I urge you all to demand a better Santa. We must take up arms in this battle against stinginess.
It is this academic observer’s opinion that we must take our Santa from the wizard community. I would urge you all to select a candidate for next years Santa and write a strongly worded letter to the Hollywood studio of your choice. http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc175/mlynas/wiz.jpg
And so I ask you all. Choose your wizard and let’s fight T.A.W together!