Email address says Doreen but my name is Claire Tanner

[weebl]

Subject: Subject matter - make it clean please
From: Doreen

Hi,

Like you site and my son likes it very much. Please can you make sure that there are no rude bits and we can recommend it to lots of people his age group(9). His cousin showed him it who is 14. No shaved bits or willies please



Mrs Claire Tanner


2nd Message

Subject: massage from sam aged 9
From: Doreen

A man runs in to a guy who is a police man and the man steels 2 handcuffs and goes to his friend but he is having sex with his x wife

And cuffed him with the handcuffs and got a gun and shot him in the balls (body part) and says why and then a skull smashes throw the

Window and sings life is short and so are you some are widows some are not

[El Kabong]

This is either someone fucking with you, or the dumbest person alive.

[Niamhel]

ha ha wtf is that "kid" on about?

[Bisyss]

No shaved bits? So my chin's a rude bit now?

[TheMattfish]

No shaved bits? So my chin's a rude bit now?

Depends, is your chin the same shape as Peter Griffin's?

[adcoolguy]

Hehe. Balls (body part).

Also, i dont actually understand any part of the second message :/

[Kali]

Wow talk about the wtf factor o.O

Did anyone else lol at "massage from sam aged 9?"

[Haroshi]

Suggested banner for the top of the page:

"weebls-stuff.com tailor made to Claire Tanner's specifications"

[weebl]

Weebls-Stuff.com may contain shaved hairy bits and willies. Not suitable for 9 year olds.

[ray]

a skull smashes throw the window and sings life is short and so are you some are widows some are not.

[Seriphyn]

Seriously sometimes I wonder if these emails are actually real or not haha. Maybe its one of those spam bots that uselessly put words like VIAGRA SEX XXX together...except its the 9 year old version...

[Tweekish]

Oh I geddit!

No I dont. Site must have warnings so we dont repeat this again. Do not use while operating heavy machinery, may cause drowsiness or vomiting. Not suitable for 9 year olds.

[Zhyl]

It has NSFW tags AND "It's not for kids!" quite clearly there.

It's reverse psychology in a way: kids are going to see that and click it immediately.

[Vercci]

Bonjour's out of the question then :(

[carrotcake]

Stupid doreen, I bet she is a prostitute.
(I don't know why, but I bet she is)

[Boyinabox]

I've typed things that made more sense than that second message by just whacking my head on the keyboard. :\

[Zhyl]

I think the second one is supposed to be an idea for a toon. It goes like this:

Mr Smitherson Smith is walking through his local ghetto to get "down" with his "homies" when he bumps into Mr Manly, the local Police Community support officer.

"Good evening, Mr Smith," saya Mr Manly, with a smile.

"What the fuck you fuckin' playin' at? I knife you up, blood, I'll proper knife you up blates," replies Mr Smith. Mr Smith is not pleased. Mr Smith points over Mr Manly's shoulder. Whilst he is distracted, Mr Smith steals Mr Manly's handcuff and runs off with them, the little dickens.

Mr Smith goes to his local crack house to find his friend Mr Chuckles lying on the bed. "Hello, Mr Chuckles," says Mr Smith, giving his MC voice a rest for the moment. "How are you on this fine day."

"I'm coming!" says Mr Chuckles, slightly strained.

"That's a very odd thing to say," says Mr smith, only just realising that Mr Chuckles was not alone in his bed. "Mrs Smith, what are you doing to mr Chuckles?"

"Having sex with him? I told you to get out of my life, Smitherson. The judge made it quite clear that you had to stay at least 500 yards away at any given moment."

"Fuck that," replies Mr Smith, merrily, "I'm going to cuff you to the bed, bitch."

"Why?"

"I have no idea."

"Right that's it!" says Mr Chuckles, pulling a gun out and pointing it towards the advancing Mr Smith. "Make one more move and I'll shoot you!"

He pauses.

"In the balls!" he adds, nervously. Mr Smith takes another step. Mr Chuckles shoots Mr Smith. In the balls, which is apparently a body part, located approximately where the testicles are. "I did that because you did not cease your movements as I requested. I think we've all learned a valuable lesson from this."

Mr Smith just lies on the ground, still apart from the occasional twitch.

Then for no apparent reason a skull smashes through the window.

*end song*

[Kakarrrrr]

I don't get the 2nd message *Looks puzzled*

[Smowy]

Damn, she likes you site, and you get a free massage as well!
And I think the joke reads

Mr happy was walking through town and saw Mr Blue, the police officer. He didn't like him, so stole his handcuffs. He went back home to find his dearest wife in bed with his best friend. It was a shame since he was carrying a gun. He drags his wife off the bed, and handcuffs his friend. He then shoots him in the balls (the body part, not the golf balls in his pocket or the bowling ball under the bed) and smashes his skull with the appropriate bowling ball. He then throws him out of the window, while singing, life is short, so are you, some windows are, some windows are not.

Still doesn't make sense though.

[Bisyss]

... and you get a free massage as well!A free massage from a 9-year-old? I'm not touching that with a pole.

[allfalldown]

Last I heard of it there was an age limit thing where anyone under 13 couldn't get on this site :/ I suppose it'd be easy enough to just put in a false birthdate though.

I'm actually posting this from my mother's womb.

[Kakarrrrr]

I think Kali figured out who Mrs Claire Tanner is :P

[Drattigan]

He should try stand-up, that Sam. He'd go down a TREAT.

[tom93]

i like the fact he/she/they/it filled you in on the crazy slang that the kids are into.
"the balls (body part)"

[Roachy]

Heh... Shaved bits...

[Niamhel]

That child needs some help with his spelling and grammar and with his mental health

[Shiyiya]

What the hell kind of nine-year-old is that? I make more sense when I've been up for two days, and I go insane on low sleep. I lol'd at massage aswell :P I think neither the mum nor the kid can spell, he says window and widow, which or both is correct? And 'you site' is just sigh sad silly typos.

Also nine-year-olds should not be here in the first place. Reply to her with a link to Bonjour. (Heh, now that's stuck in my head. Bonjour monsieur..... I'd watch it to get it out, only I'm in the school library, and that would be bad. Heh.)

Basically weird messages and idiots all around, I'd say!

[Roachy]

A man runs in to a guy who is a police man and the man steels 2 handcuffs and goes to his friend but he is having sex with his x wife

And cuffed him with the handcuffs and got a gun and shot him in the balls (body part) and says why and then a skull smashes throw the

Window and sings life is short and so are you some are widows some are not

If I myself were not an individual who can't animate for shit, I would probably make this for the laugh.

[rachel ^_^]

If I myself were not an individual who can't animate for shit, I would probably make this for the laugh.

haha somebody please make it and send it back to them!

[Dr M]

Claire is right. Children aren't hearing the word "wanker" as much as they should, and they're not saying it as much as they should.

Reform is the only course of action. Together, we can save the world.

I am, at this moment in time, forming the official "Kids Should Hear the Word 'Wanker' and Say the Word 'Wanker' Committee". It will also recommend the use of the words "bum eyes", "hot piss", and "arse fez".

Also, since you can no longer use shaved bits and willies (according to Claire's Rules / Guidelines), I presume arses, vomit, explosions, handy special effects, and poop are still available to the world. Fantastic. The less rules, the better.

I mean, penises and shaved bits do not exist in real life, right? And if they do not exist in real life, why should they exist in fiction, where everything is make-believe?

I have no idea what the general premise of this post was, but I'm sure it had a meaning in it somewhere.

[Roachy]

Claire is right. Children aren't hearing the word "wanker" as much as they should, and they're not saying it as much as they should.

Reform is the only course of action. Together, we can save the world.

I am, at this moment in time, forming the official "Kids Should Hear the Word 'Wanker' and Say the Word 'Wanker' Committee". It will also recommend the use of the words "bum eyes", "hot piss", and "arse fez".

Good plan, you wanker. :)

[gruff]

Tssk, does Mrs Tanner know her son uses her email address to send out (possibly) profane jokes/anecdotes?