funny lyrics

[alsie boo]

don't know if it's already been posted, but i'm not looking throuhg and seeing!

bowling for soup "I don't wanna rock" line "she makes me want to be a homosexual"

[Jez]

If you want funny lyrics, listen to Bloodhound Gang, you can't pick up al their lyrics but on the net you can get them!

They have songs called 'the lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying','i wish i was queer so i can get chicks','the ballad of Chasey Lain (a porn star)'...nuff sed...but tenacious d win the funny lyrics award, those guys are class!!!

[X_Pentacle_X]

If ya got KaZaA search for the devil went to jamica or other al yankovich tunes there funny as fu*k

[Aquarium]

"everybody wants to be just like me...... I'm naked....and famous!"

presidents of the united states, naked and famous

or pretty much any presidents lyric, they're great

[plattbridger]

The Divine Comedy - Something For The Weekend has very good lyrics.

"There ain't nothin in the wood shed... except maybe some wood"

Clicky (http://www.123lyrics.net/d/the-divine-comedy/something-for-the-weekend.html)

And may I be the first to suggest anything by Wierd Al Yankovitch or Bob Rivers? :p Or The Shirehorses!

[NOTaCommunist]

Yeah Weird Al has a lot of funny songs out. He has a somewhat newer cd out called Poodle Hat. or there is Kazaa...

[Shave]

Originally posted by Jez
If you want funny lyrics, listen to Bloodhound Gang, you can't pick up al their lyrics but on the net you can get them!

They have songs called 'the lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying','i wish i was queer so i can get chicks','the ballad of Chasey Lain (a porn star)'...nuff sed...

oh, it is so true.

the Bloodhound Gang rule and i have all three of their albums.

i particularly like 'You're pretty when i'm drunk' and '3.14'

[alsie boo]

heh, i knw, BHG are wicked... I have to put up the whole of htis, hooray for boobies is by far the best (seeing as it's the only one I have) the stuff with chasey is so funny, lol. anyways, lapdance is so much better when the striper is crying
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
‘cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
‘Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[Cjw]

As everyone seems to be talking about the bloodhound gang

http://www.lyricsdomain.com/2/bloodhound_gang/the_ballad_of_chasey_lain.html

[PieKaos]

Stephen Lynch. ANYTHING by Stephen Lynch is hilarious. I recommend him highly.

[Shave]

the official Bloodhound Gang site complete with all lyrics:

http://www.bloodhoundgang.com/index2.html

[darkling]

Sytem Of A Down are a good source of humerous lyrics :)

'I got a gun the other day from Sako, its cute, small, fits right in my pocket,
my girl she lashes out at me somtimes but i just fucking kick her then ooh baby, its ok'

[Jez]

I have two BHG albums, i aint got 'Use Your Fingers', i can't find it anywhere...I WANT A NEW TENACIOUS D ALBUM!

[streety]

As I amcurrently listening to the magical mystery tour I thought that this was appropriate...

I am the walrus - The Beatles

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly.
I'm crying.

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Mister City Policeman sitting
Pretty little policemen in a row.
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.
I'm crying, I'm crying.
I'm crying, I'm crying.

Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.

Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.

Expert textpert choking smokers,
Don't you thing the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty,
See how they snied.
I'm crying.

Semolina pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
Goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob g'goo.

[Oli]

I cant remember what song but heres a bit of the song:

"Hey you guy's, She told me not too goof off in the lesson"

(Goof as in wank!)

(Its also the way that its said, sounds vfunny)

[bigmother]

although BHG etc are funny, I have to say the funniest man of them all is... Tom Lehrer! The Masochism Tango, The Irish Ballad, Poisoning Pidgeons in the park, classic!

[SemiCircle]

steven lynch tends to be somewhat offensive: lehrer is infinitely better in every way. bhg are amusing, yes, but they lack comic genius. too much of their humour is visual.

flanders and swan deserve a mention, of course, having virtually invented the whole concept of silly songs. they weren't in the least bit offensive, which is a breath of fresh air in today's scatalogically dominated society. as michael flanders himself said, "if all these four letter words come into common use, we'll have nothing left for special occasions." he was so right.

[bigmother]

of course the best lyric in any song is the bloodhound gang with:

"the drummer from def leppard only has one arm,
the drummer from..."

[smong]

if uve got kaza look for the wanker song or something like that! its so funny or stuff by kevin 'blody' wilson (chek spelling)

[Schism]

blink182 has some funny ones
f**k a dog for example

[eXtremer]

heh, Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Purple Stain"

To finger paint is not a sin,
i put my middle finger in,
your monthly blood is what i win
:D

[pientieke]

I cant be too cool in a tree with my pants down...
voyeur-blink 182
tbat song is so funny

[pientieke]

Originally posted by eXtremer
heh, Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Purple Stain"

To finger paint is not a sin,
i put my middle finger in,
your monthly blood is what i win
:D
i love that song :D :)

[Mr stabby]

Originally posted by smong
if uve got kaza look for the wanker song or something like that! its so funny or stuff by kevin 'blody' wilson (chek spelling)

hey anything by KBW is a hit.
the wanking song.
ho ho fucking ho.
What if god smoked cannabus(purposly spelt that way listen to it)

[GorillaBearBear]

le bump
(ED: I think, seeing as I had something relevant to the topic, this is probably excusable; it's hard to obey the rule about not bumping threads and the one about not making a topic that's been done. Just so you don't go bitching at me)

Over the holiday I listened to the Reaching Quiet (Why? and Odd Nosdam) album properly for the first time since I bought it, and it has some real Gems:

The Vowels

The horse you ride on the carousel reflects your self image or what you want to be
All the little boys un around when the ride starts, looking for the simple sleek cheetah like horse
Girls go for frills, and if there's a unicorn, well of course, they go for the unicorn
and you pray that you don't get stuck with the christmas carriage or the glorified bench
Cos after all those are for the fat kids
and crippled kids


I don't know why, but it made me burst out laughing.
Another Gem is "Split Screen"

Some boy from astronomy class
wants you to get a makeover
he'll candidly invite you
onto Jenny Jones
You won't recognise him when they bring you out
They'll give you new shoes
modern style glasses
and a year 2000 haircut

They'll split screen you
next to photo of you
with stretch pants and mullet
you'll be kind of mad at the kid from astronomy class
but not to mad
cos after all
he did get you a free makeover
This one's really funny because it's sung in a style reminiscen(sp?) of a 50's Barber Shop band crossed with a cheesey 70's Wedding Singer or something.

Finally, 2 classics are the 2 "She ain't gonna call you back" tracks with gems (mixed up and edited and shit) such as:

Fuck your current boy toy
but propegate with me
for kids that can speak latin and play a mean game of pictionary

(She ain't gonna call you back) Little miss Audrey'll be a big star
(She ain't gonna call you back) She's off to Juliard come fall
(She ain't gonna call you back) She's Opera you're a Hip Hoppa
(She ain't gonna call you back) She's got a Beau in Guatemala
....
(She ain't gonna call you back) She had you smoking her like Yank rock
(She ain't gonna call you back) Then left for your home boy in the black block
(She ain't gonna call you back) You told her you loved her in that last talk
(She ain't gonna call you back) I'm afraid she'll never love you back Dawg
(She ain't gonna call you back) Now you're lookin' in Thrift stores for her cast offs
(She ain't gonna call you back) Searching for the scent of what the past was


OK, so written down the second bit doesn't sound that funny, but it's sung in this really fucking happy cheery sing song voice. Sounds kind of taunting actually.

There's also a song worth mention called "your Fish" where Odd Nosdam messes with a sample (a lot of the samples in the album are the guys imitating 50's TV commercials) and it's this boy who sounds like he's lifted straight out of one of these ads and he just goes "Gee Fucking Whiz mr. Charmichal, what's in the bottle?"

[Dick Champion]

Bill Bailey - Unisex Chip Shop.

I used to buy my chips from an oppressive chip shop regime.
The girl who worked there; she seemed happy,
But I knew it was not what it seemed.

"Do you want salt and vinegar?"
Was what they made her say,
But in the language of the ghetto,
That means "help, I'm a woman in chains"

I wanted to free her.
In my dreams I would see her
Running naked through the woods round Rainham.
If I had some tigers I'd train them...
To protect her,
From the sexual fascism that was lurking,
Round the gherkins.

I'd lean across the counter and we would talk.
I carved her name "Debbie" on a little wooden fork.
But into the shop came a skinhead gang,
and snatched the fork from my hand.

Debbie, she looked at me,
to assert my masculinity.
I said "Hoi!",
they said "What?",
I said "Nothing..."

[GorillaBearBear]

I prefer "The Disenfranchised Owl"

I am Death
*dun dun der der der dun dun dun*
A Winged Beast
*dun dun der der der dun dun dun*
I was born on the velvet wings of night and I'm hungry for a feast I am the nemesis of the vole
*dun dun der der der dun dun dun*
My heart is black as coal
*dun dun der der der dun dun dun*
You can kill me with a trooooooooooowel
I am an owl.

[Moltz]

Anything by the Dead Milkmen is pretty funny, or at least intended to be...they are quite clever with puns. :)

[King Clunk]

harmar superstar has some funny songs.

"women always stick to me, like noodles on the wall"

that or wierd al.