Drattigan
07-03-2008, 03:45 PM
The world (as in, the population of the world; not the lump of rock that orbits the Sun once for every, and this is only rough, 366.26 times it rotates about its axis) is getting stupider.
It is and there's no denying it.
Screw the improving exam results, THEY MEAN NOTHING TO ME.
People are just gradually becoming more and more dim-witted.
BUT HOW DO WE KNOW, EH, SIR?
WITH YOUR SCIENCE.
WE NEED FACT.
PROOF.
Oho, I'll give you your proof.
There's proof everywhere these days, casually floating about the air of which we respire.
And that proof; it isn't in the newspapers, the magazines, or your fancy day-time TV shows, oh no.
That proof, is spam email.
http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/7629/duhqb4.png
See? Look how upset we're making him (and suprisingly, global warming isn't involved).
Don't look at me as if you haven't thought this before.
Spam emails are the proof, THE ANSWER TO THIS CONUNDRUM.
Somebody has typed them.
Somebody has sat there, in their own free time, typing out these emails.
And I get atleast fifty in a week.
FIFTY PEOPLE TYPED OUT THOSE SEPERATE FIFTY EMAILS.
With no punctuation, and with no regard for speeling.
So, what is the answer?
How do we stop the stupid growing?
Because it will grow. It starts on the Internet, and then weaves it's way out into reality. The open air. THE VAST GREEN FORESTS OF RUSSIA AND BEYHOND. I've seen this before, on other planets (naturally). It will grow.
The answer, my dear friends, is to bombard them.
Now, I personally would go for the 'bombardment with email replies' approach, though some might enjoy nuclear bombardment. It's down to personal choice.
I have a rough plan and an estimated idea of the comments we shall make to them, which I have already typed up.
Enjoy, and digest:
"Enlarge your manhood with the world's no.1 proven herbal supplement"
Well, I'll have to admit that my hood is pretty small, and that it doesn't give me much coverage in heavy storm; but there's nothing I can do about it. It came attatched to the coat.
"Put on inches where it matters most, on your manhood - peramanantly! "
Look, dude. I've told you. There's no way you can increase the size of the hood, it's attached. Though, I am interested in this peramanantly marker of which you speak.
"Your new improved dick is only a week's delivery away!"
It is? Aw Amazon, you suck. I used Super Saver Delivery to purposefully evade this 'week's delivery' business!
"That's a Major Leg you have down there, thanks for telling me the
secret!"
Idiot. It's not Major Leg, it's Corporal Leg. Get with the times!
"Always wondered how Africans have 9 inch dicks? Satisfy your curiosity now."
Well, they don't do much trade these days, so they only have small docks. Like, in this case, a nine inch one.
"A huge dick can easily become REALITY! click here"
A huge dock you say? That's awesome. We can get this trade going again!
"Make your women feel it!"
Oh, I know! This revision guide is sure to get her back into loving IT!
"Here is the solution millions of men around the world have been
waiting for!"
Excellent, excellent. Our research has finally paid off.
"Let her experience multiple orgasms in one night, size really does
matter!"
Oh, I know, we will. We're taking her to the local hospital tommorrow evening to feel some organs.
"Boost your cock up, with this unique medicament. Instructions and medicine are included below"
I don't really think you should be telling me this. The Bird Flu scare is bad enough as it is, without me having to 'boost up the cockerels'.
"Defintely larger is better"
It's the reason we got the bigger TV, mate.
"Turn your small "sausage" into a MONSTER HOTDOG."
Haha, awesome! And this comes with ketchup, and everything?
"Transform your little "worm" into a monstreous sausage!"
You turn worms into sausages? ARE YOU SOME TYPE OF SORCERER?
"stop wasting your money on other shit, buy penis pills"
I don't even have any comment to make on this one. It's hilarious as it is.
"Feel more comfortable with your package."
Ah, Parcel Force. Your love for the job never ceases to amaze me.
"Remember those days when you used to have an ugly and slow-motioned
dick?"
Not really, no.
"Don't let the girls laugh at your small little brother, find the solution here today."
Therapy, therapy, therapy, ofcourse! We're so glad you showed up!
"Make your women feel happy on holidays! save up to 70% on the medics you need!"
I can get her Team Fortress 2, with 70% off? You're a beauty you are.
"Dont miss the only chance to become a bedroom giant! Our physicians recommend"
...a Hagrid costume?
"ladies say size doesnot matter, but we know, it does!"
That's not a fair conclusion when you're quite clearly a man. You've got to take evidence from both sides. It's the only way we can be reasonable here.
"Make your woman happy with the perfect gift that they all secretly want but never say."
World domination, no?
"Rock her world with your 9 inch monster."
You expect to scare people with a nine-inch monster? HAVE YOU SEEN GODZILLA!?
NOW DO YOU SEE.
QUICK, MY CHILDREN, SPREAD YOUR WINGS.
MAKE HASTE.
DESTORY THE INFIDEL.
THEY ARE NOTHING.
FEAR US, NOT THEM.
THEY ARE THE BLOOD-SUCKING FLEAS ON THE BACK OF INJUSTICE.
It is and there's no denying it.
Screw the improving exam results, THEY MEAN NOTHING TO ME.
People are just gradually becoming more and more dim-witted.
BUT HOW DO WE KNOW, EH, SIR?
WITH YOUR SCIENCE.
WE NEED FACT.
PROOF.
Oho, I'll give you your proof.
There's proof everywhere these days, casually floating about the air of which we respire.
And that proof; it isn't in the newspapers, the magazines, or your fancy day-time TV shows, oh no.
That proof, is spam email.
http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/7629/duhqb4.png
See? Look how upset we're making him (and suprisingly, global warming isn't involved).
Don't look at me as if you haven't thought this before.
Spam emails are the proof, THE ANSWER TO THIS CONUNDRUM.
Somebody has typed them.
Somebody has sat there, in their own free time, typing out these emails.
And I get atleast fifty in a week.
FIFTY PEOPLE TYPED OUT THOSE SEPERATE FIFTY EMAILS.
With no punctuation, and with no regard for speeling.
So, what is the answer?
How do we stop the stupid growing?
Because it will grow. It starts on the Internet, and then weaves it's way out into reality. The open air. THE VAST GREEN FORESTS OF RUSSIA AND BEYHOND. I've seen this before, on other planets (naturally). It will grow.
The answer, my dear friends, is to bombard them.
Now, I personally would go for the 'bombardment with email replies' approach, though some might enjoy nuclear bombardment. It's down to personal choice.
I have a rough plan and an estimated idea of the comments we shall make to them, which I have already typed up.
Enjoy, and digest:
"Enlarge your manhood with the world's no.1 proven herbal supplement"
Well, I'll have to admit that my hood is pretty small, and that it doesn't give me much coverage in heavy storm; but there's nothing I can do about it. It came attatched to the coat.
"Put on inches where it matters most, on your manhood - peramanantly! "
Look, dude. I've told you. There's no way you can increase the size of the hood, it's attached. Though, I am interested in this peramanantly marker of which you speak.
"Your new improved dick is only a week's delivery away!"
It is? Aw Amazon, you suck. I used Super Saver Delivery to purposefully evade this 'week's delivery' business!
"That's a Major Leg you have down there, thanks for telling me the
secret!"
Idiot. It's not Major Leg, it's Corporal Leg. Get with the times!
"Always wondered how Africans have 9 inch dicks? Satisfy your curiosity now."
Well, they don't do much trade these days, so they only have small docks. Like, in this case, a nine inch one.
"A huge dick can easily become REALITY! click here"
A huge dock you say? That's awesome. We can get this trade going again!
"Make your women feel it!"
Oh, I know! This revision guide is sure to get her back into loving IT!
"Here is the solution millions of men around the world have been
waiting for!"
Excellent, excellent. Our research has finally paid off.
"Let her experience multiple orgasms in one night, size really does
matter!"
Oh, I know, we will. We're taking her to the local hospital tommorrow evening to feel some organs.
"Boost your cock up, with this unique medicament. Instructions and medicine are included below"
I don't really think you should be telling me this. The Bird Flu scare is bad enough as it is, without me having to 'boost up the cockerels'.
"Defintely larger is better"
It's the reason we got the bigger TV, mate.
"Turn your small "sausage" into a MONSTER HOTDOG."
Haha, awesome! And this comes with ketchup, and everything?
"Transform your little "worm" into a monstreous sausage!"
You turn worms into sausages? ARE YOU SOME TYPE OF SORCERER?
"stop wasting your money on other shit, buy penis pills"
I don't even have any comment to make on this one. It's hilarious as it is.
"Feel more comfortable with your package."
Ah, Parcel Force. Your love for the job never ceases to amaze me.
"Remember those days when you used to have an ugly and slow-motioned
dick?"
Not really, no.
"Don't let the girls laugh at your small little brother, find the solution here today."
Therapy, therapy, therapy, ofcourse! We're so glad you showed up!
"Make your women feel happy on holidays! save up to 70% on the medics you need!"
I can get her Team Fortress 2, with 70% off? You're a beauty you are.
"Dont miss the only chance to become a bedroom giant! Our physicians recommend"
...a Hagrid costume?
"ladies say size doesnot matter, but we know, it does!"
That's not a fair conclusion when you're quite clearly a man. You've got to take evidence from both sides. It's the only way we can be reasonable here.
"Make your woman happy with the perfect gift that they all secretly want but never say."
World domination, no?
"Rock her world with your 9 inch monster."
You expect to scare people with a nine-inch monster? HAVE YOU SEEN GODZILLA!?
NOW DO YOU SEE.
QUICK, MY CHILDREN, SPREAD YOUR WINGS.
MAKE HASTE.
DESTORY THE INFIDEL.
THEY ARE NOTHING.
FEAR US, NOT THEM.
THEY ARE THE BLOOD-SUCKING FLEAS ON THE BACK OF INJUSTICE.