jeffandpaul
22-08-2008, 03:18 PM
Jeff Wortman & Paul Hogan (Aussies)
To the good people of Great Britain,
We concede. You have made a mockery of our Olympic Team. Our woeful performances are only exceeded the number of smelly backpackers that we export to your capital.
It is now clear that the Aussie medal tally cannot surpass that of team GB. It has been a privilege and a gift to compete along side you for the past fortnight.
We formally apologise for gloating in relation to Sydney, Athens and Kylie’s UK success with ‘The Locomotion’. Now with the benefit of hindsight we acknowledge that Pete Doherty, David Beckham and Hugh Grant are all sexier than Harold Bishop… but at least Harold doesn’t do drugs, sleep with your Nanny or commandeer prostitutes.
We declare that from this moment on, we relinquish the right to refer to Englishmen as poms, poms as whingers, and Gordon Brown as a wanker … unless you tell us that it’s okay.
Our failed Olympians have made us realise that Delta Goodrem is a Leona Lewis wannabe, Jason Donavon is a poor man’s Ross Kemp and the property values in Ramsey Street are much lower than Coronation.
We would also like to take the opportunity to withdraw our athletes from London.
As much as we would take great pleasure in watching you win even more Gold medals, we will be busy hosting a year long celebration marking the 24th Anniversary of Home & Away.
We wait with bated breath and look forward to the 2016 games… providing they’re not in Manchester.
watch our concession statement video at the the Herald Sun website
To the good people of Great Britain,
We concede. You have made a mockery of our Olympic Team. Our woeful performances are only exceeded the number of smelly backpackers that we export to your capital.
It is now clear that the Aussie medal tally cannot surpass that of team GB. It has been a privilege and a gift to compete along side you for the past fortnight.
We formally apologise for gloating in relation to Sydney, Athens and Kylie’s UK success with ‘The Locomotion’. Now with the benefit of hindsight we acknowledge that Pete Doherty, David Beckham and Hugh Grant are all sexier than Harold Bishop… but at least Harold doesn’t do drugs, sleep with your Nanny or commandeer prostitutes.
We declare that from this moment on, we relinquish the right to refer to Englishmen as poms, poms as whingers, and Gordon Brown as a wanker … unless you tell us that it’s okay.
Our failed Olympians have made us realise that Delta Goodrem is a Leona Lewis wannabe, Jason Donavon is a poor man’s Ross Kemp and the property values in Ramsey Street are much lower than Coronation.
We would also like to take the opportunity to withdraw our athletes from London.
As much as we would take great pleasure in watching you win even more Gold medals, we will be busy hosting a year long celebration marking the 24th Anniversary of Home & Away.
We wait with bated breath and look forward to the 2016 games… providing they’re not in Manchester.
watch our concession statement video at the the Herald Sun website