King of the Hill

['Ello Guv'ner]

There's a throne on the top of a hill and you've got to maintain the hill and throne.
No unbeatable body guards or armies, or armies that don't run out.
+ no parallel universes, no other hills, nothing is indestructible, no destroying the hill.

My Hill.

[Emptyspraycan]

*shoves 'Ello Guv'ner off the hill*

Mine now.

[Dakano]

*punches emptyspraycan's teeth out, which he looks for*
*kicks emptyspraycan off of hill*

mine now

[mat-tracteur561]

Appears on tractor with shotgun.

I think this hill is mine *gets 200 sheep to form a ring around the top*

[Dakano]

bah. they're just sheep.

brings ferocious sheepdog to get rid of the sheep and ferocious rotwiler to destroy mat-tracteur

my hill!
guards! protect the throne!

*rotweiler and sheepdog growl menacingly

[mat-tracteur561]

I arrive with Dr Robotnik.... DUSTCLOUD DUSTCLOUD DUSTCLOUD

my (our) hill again

[magsie o skaw]

i shoot you from a nearby barn roof with a .50 calibre sniper rifle

my hill

[mat-tracteur561]

I buy a Toyota Hilux and ram the tree you fall out and i kill you with an AK 47
i drive to the top of the hill

[Dakano]

*whistles* Here, Fido!
Rotweiler eats you.
I chain him to the throne

mah hill

[mat-tracteur561]

Me and Leon from resident evil turn up shoot your dog and just when Leon is about to kill you i ask your for peace treaty so that we both own the hill ad defend it together

[AppleLiz]

I lure you away with tantalising glimpses of ample cleavage, and plenty of leg, and you follow me into the forest. I'm standing in a clearing, and as you run forward to get your piece, you fall into the pit i set up earlier. Casually sauntering back to the hill, i claim it in the name of Me.

[Dakano]

hello. you must be my new queen.

i wish to be alone upon this hill. *presses throne eject button 2*

bye bye

my hill

[mat-tracteur561]

no mine this is why pulls out biiiiig stick

[AppleLiz]

*lands back on throne, leaving the men as pile of ashes due to biiiiiiiiig landing explosion*

Oopsie, did I do that? Oh well, my hill :D

[mat-tracteur561]

I use my Time crapper Martinus made for me to go back in time and assplode yu while you were in mid air then in turn i land on Dak my hill again

Preps time crapper for battle

[AppleLiz]

*Does the regen terminator 2 thing*

Hi again :D *hand turns into biiiiiiiig blade, slicey slicey* My hill

[harryashfield]

Shoots appleliz in the arse with sniper rifle.

AppleLiz falls off hill.

My hill.

[Dakano]

chucks concrete block at harry

harry gets blasted to switzerland and sucked up by the blackhole machine

my hill. needs decor though.

[harryashfield]

Blackhole ironically opens up next to dakano, I emerge remarkably unscathed, but miraculously with a flamethrower in my hands. Burns Dakano off the hill.

Hill = reclaimed.

[Dakano]

the black hole swallows you within 7 seconds and i reclaim my title of king.

my hill. i shall build a wall and decorate with green paint.

[AppleLiz]

Scales wall and kicks out of little hole in side. closes hole up...

Mine

[harryashfield]

...but suffocates due to lack of oxygen, as wall surrOunds you.

Mine. I have dogs to attack intruders... you wouldn't kill a dog, would you?

[AppleLiz]

Pfffft *takes out rifle, bang bang bang*

Still my hill... even if it belongs to my vampiric body

[harryashfield]

Comes back with garlic. And a steak. And Buffy. Booya! Mine.

(Scans with mine detector)

Clear!

(trying to revive dead dogs)

Alive! (what I still am)

need I ramble on...?

[magsie o skaw]

Rambo arrives and destroys everything on the hill with napalm including dogs and any zombies or mutated corpses and accidently himself. i now drive up the hill in my Challenger 2 tank.

hill is mine

Come and have a go if you think you are hard enough

[Dakano]

the green paint i put up earlier is so disgusting that you drive to switzerland and see if there's a hill there.

that was easy.

my hill.

[harryashfield]

Dulex turn up, ands because you didn't know the colours that 'go', they paint your entire body in paint and you suffocate.

I hire dulex to choose a colour for my new hill. (well, old hill.)

[magsie o skaw]

being mad at dakano for fooling me so easily i turn back and blow the shit out of you with my tank and reclaim MY hill again... again!

[mat-tracteur561]

Tyranosaurus allen bites your face off i claim the hill

[Dakano]

george the volcano erupts on your castle and you die.

my hill/volcano.

[Ozzylator]

utilises RDX to blow up that crappy throne

[AppleLiz]

Awww, ozzy.... you blew yourself up too....

shame that

my hill :D

[Ozzylator]

But where's the throne?

[AppleLiz]

Who needs a throne *sits on pert arse*

Still my hill

[Dakano]

covers appleliz in concrete and builds a chair on top of her

here's your throne.

here's my hill.

and here's my giant laser dr. kawashima head!
40598

[harryashfield]

yeah, but you left the concrete mixer out.
I cover Dakano in concrete as well.

Sit on my new Dakano hill

[BobbyNoShoes]

^ lures Harryashfield away from the hill with a trail of sweets and prances to the top of the hill

Mine

[harryashfield]

Damn, I would actually fall for that.

You prance into a groupof southern hicks who 'don't take too kindly to homosexuals' and mistake you for one. They do the rest.

Having eaten all the sweets I reclaim my Dakano throne.

[Dakano]

your arse gets stuck to the still-wet cement and you end up pulling me and appleliz out of the ground to prise your buttocks away. me and appleliz (and my laser kawashima) kick the snot out of you.

my our hill

[harryashfield]

Well fine! If I can't have it, no-one can!

(Suicide bombs hill, blowing up everyone and everything)

No-one's nothing. We might need a new hill.

[Dakano]

i'll make one out of this convenient appleliz.

funny-shaped hill. ah well, it's mine.

[AppleLiz]

you're sitting on my chest *pushes off boobs*

oh.....damn.....

*moulds hill out of play doh.....* my hill.... it even has my name on it :D

[Dakano]

i get the ultimate chimera to come and bite you. am nam nam. tasty.

my hill

[harryashfield]

Having seen Mission Impossible 2, I know the cure!

(Throws Tom Cruise at Dakano)

Haha! Mine again!

[mat-tracteur561]

I go see my freind called Dale Gribble and his friends we concuct a plan: i use a tunneling machine to dig underneath you and assplode you from within i take the throne with this lot

http://i354.photobucket.com/albums/r427/fergusondeere/HBBD.jpg

Cool we have beer and everything

[harryashfield]

Due to the fact that King of the hill is so rubbish, the hill collapses under poor writing which attracts hick viewers who don't realize it actually pokes fun at them.

Builds new hill, but wait, there's more! Puts more DIRT on the hill making it a mountain! Mwahaha!!!!1!

[magsie o skaw]

i get brian blessed to scale the mountain and the power of his voice blows you of the mountain. having hidden in his backpack i steal his shovel and dig away at the top of the mountain and reduce it back to a hill again and the spare dirt makes a new hill for brian blessed who was having relapses of playing prince vultan in the flash gordon movie... AH WELL WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER, SQUADRON 40.... DIIIVE!!! GORDONS ALIVE?

[harryashfield]

I suggest to a group of feminists that the hill is sexist. Being that their minds are feeble, they attack the hill and you with their handbags.

Mine.

[Dakano]

i steal your paintbucket plethora and you go looking for them when i shoot you and your blessed with a rocket launcher.

behold your king dakano.

[harryashfield]

Noooooooooo!

Oh wait, I still have the imageshack links. Hahaha.

I put a bananna in the end of your rocket launcher. It backfires.
Mine.

[Dakano]

i eat some spinach and get huge muscles so i punch you to swaziland.
my hill

[harryashfield]

I eat you.

Mine.

[Dakano]

Wario eats you. Mine.

[harryashfield]

I pay Mario a coin to get rid of Wario. Oh, and you.

Coins are big money to him.

[Dakano]

The credit crunch means your coins are worthless so he grabs a final smash and mario-finales you

my hill

[harryashfield]

Yes, but because Super Smash Bros Brawl is such a crap game,his moves are worthless. I get Bowser on both yo asses.

mine, all mine.

Plus, I put up....


A WALL!!!!!!!!!1!

[Dakano]

i polevault the wall, then use the stick to gouge your eye out.
my hill.

i build...
a ceiling!

[mat-tracteur561]

I send the US air force to carpet bomb basra and they end up nuking the hill you are all dead

my hill

[harryashfield]

Turns out Matt is halucinating because the explosion blew up the hill as well.

I have him committed to a mental asylum.

Plus... I build....

ANOTHER WALL!!! and this time, It's TALLER!!!!!1!

[Dakano]

but you forgot about my ceiling.
guess who forgot to measure what size the wall should be. and guess where the ceiling landed.
on harryashfield's head.
my hill and ceiling which has harryashfield splattered underneath it

[mat-tracteur561]

I meet the sniper off Team fortress II

*BOOM HEADSHOT*

my hill

[Dakano]

Scout arrives on the hill.
Say goodbye to ya kneecaps, chucklehead.
bonk!

my hill.

[mat-tracteur561]

Heay arrives with "sasha" and evryone dies in the hail of bullets except for me


Me hill again

[Dakano]

o look some tnt. what happens if i press the plunger?

not your hill anymore.

[harryashfield]

I plan a careful attack on the hill, taking it over, and Dakano prisoner. Any attempt on my life will result in his death. Ha ha haa.

[mat-tracteur561]

I stand one step away from no mans land with a lemonade stand...you buy one and die

Dakano becomes my Alleid force

Our hill

[harryashfield]

Fortunatly, I planted a bomb on dakano whilst taking him prisoner.
Which I now activate.
The explosion tears a new hole in the hill, setting off all the land mines I have previously planted. There was also a newly built nuclear reactor nearby, which when hit by the blast also exploded setting off a huge blow of nuclear gas.
The ensuing flow of gas wipes out all life on earth as we know it, besides the hill. (I however, have hidden in a bunker that was easily protected.)
The gas spreads into the oceans, which also kills all the fishes in the sea, upsetting all those women who had just been dumped, because the line could no longer be used as a cheer up line.

I escape to space, and build a new hill on the moon, where conditions affect any weapons you may try to use. My moon fortress, not dissimilar to the one in moonraker, is protected by several electric fences, reminiscant of the berlin wall, followed by several landmines, and vicious aliens from the film 'alien' and the several less popular sequels.

The new hill is also very steep, meaning that the top of it is just outside the moon's gravitational field, so anyone who gets near it will simply float off.

Also, I create a tractor trap for Mat - which consists of a new brilliant tractor in a large cage, which when he goes after results in the cage swinging shut.

er... what else... Nah, I'm good. I'm covered.



Oh yeah,

MY HILL.

[Goshmo]

Electrode uses Selfdestruct. While on the hill.


My hill.

[Magic Noodles]

I dig under the hill, and kill and eat anyone/thing in the way, before taking my place atop it. My hill.

[mat-tracteur561]

The tractor trap loses gravitational pull of the moon drifts towards the hill before crushing MN

so allthough im still trapped...MY HILL

[Nimblewright]

Death Star blows up the moon (but not the hill), Stormtroopers capture Mat

MY HILL

[harryashfield]

I get all lightsaber up yo' ass.

My hill fo shizzle.

[Nimblewright]

I activate one of my many clones and send my army of stormtroopers to capture harryashfield as well.

Having taken the hill I laugh evily and shout: "Power, unlimited power! Maniacal laughter"

My Hill!

['Ello Guv'ner]

Then your trusted half man half machine friend and second in command picks you up and throws you down a really big hole in the death star, the resulting explosion of the death star blows all the radiation of the earth and the residents of vault 57 come out and find a hill, among those residents is me!

MY HILL!!!!1!!

[Nimblewright]

Then I come around and shoot you with a huge gun.

My Hill!

[mat-tracteur561]

Then i bribe all the stormtroopers with shineys (you should really have brought the IQ pack)

they PWN you and i take control of the hill

[harryashfield]

I notice your poor internet abreviation grammer, and because it is so inferior, I beat you to death.

With a shoe.

My hill.

[Dakano]

I lick you.
You go for a shower.
My hill.

[Nimblewright]

I shoot all the stormtroopers that Mat bribed, and use dark magic to turn them into zombies. Zombies can't be bribes with shineys.

I order my army of zombie stormtroopers to push Dakano from the hill before eating his brains. Otherwise it would be a bloody mess on MY HILL!

I now order them to guard me and MY HILL!

[Dakano]

silly man, i don't have any brains. all the zombies will starve.
aww bless.
as you are powerless without your zombie army, a dalek zaps you off the hill. my hill.

['Ello Guv'ner]

the dalek flies away, being chased by the doctor, a barbarian runs up and battle axes your face for no apparent reason and runs away. I take the hill and build a fortress of energy shields that deflect lasers and disintegrates mater. My Hill.