Scenes We'd Like To See

[glitch]

Instantly familiar to anyone who's seen Mock The Week. Someone names a category for a Scene We'd Like To See and maybe an example of one...people post suggestions for it and when we get bored we move on to a new one. Try to get at least five for each.

I'll start with the first topic...

Things Not To Say When Meeting Your Significant Other's Parents For The First Time

[AppleLiz]

Hiya Pop. Now i know where [guy] got his gorgeous chiselled, masculine chin from, eh *angelic grin*

[He coughs, blushes, whispers] That's my mom...

[Magic Noodles]

"Ah, these must be your grandparents..."

[mat-tracteur561]

"look mum and dad my boyfriend is so manly he ca....*The Hazzards - gay boyfriend starts to ring out from his phone*

BF: "Oh hi Rod, yes, yes, great see you later then*hangs up*... sorry that was my boyfriend anyway it was nice meeting you all laters hunnibun's"

[glitch]

"...so where did she get her good looks from then?"

[malcolio]

"You'll love my new boyfriend, he's very keen on family. Mum, dad, this is Josef Fritzl."

[Magic Noodles]

"Hi I'm Dave, but my friends just call me 'Johnny Fingers' "

[magsie o skaw]

''do you mind, we are waiting for her parents now bugger of... bloody peasents''

[Dakano]

"What's my uncle doing here?"

[AppleLiz]

"ooooh, you dressed up your pets. that's so adorable squeeeee"

[Dakano]

"Hey, Bro! Long time no see."

[Magic Noodles]

"You remind me of someone... Oh, of course. You look just like Peter Sutcliffe! Great guy."

[AppleLiz]

"Hey Mom"

*awkward silence*

"Uhm, yeah, haven't seen you since you walked out seventeen years ago..."

[Dakano]

I thought we were meeting at your house, not a graveyard...

[Magic Noodles]

"Hey, I remember meeting you before... Did you groom me 5 years ago?"

[happy-go-lucky]

"hey, why is my counsellor here? You don't want your mum hearing the stuff I've been saying to her"

[Magic Noodles]

"No, thats just a cold sore."

[Dakano]

shall I post a new topic? *who cares* Kay.
Things you wouldn't hear on a McDonald's Happy Meal advert
"Now with 99.9% Chicken breast!"

[Sheepshagger]

so this is your dad.. hi..

and i think i meet your mom before.. must have been something around 18 years and 9 months ago.

[Magic Noodles]

"Don't worry if our Happy Meals make your kids fat, brainless slugs. We'll still employ them!"

[Purple Wabbit]

Things you wouldn't hear on a McDonald's Happy Meal advert


"We use parts of the cow you'd never expect!"

[BobbyNoShoes]

Due to false advertising claims we've had to withdraw the happy meal.

We will instead be offering the new children’s meal. "morbid obesity and life long melancholy meal"

[magsie o skaw]

'here's the new Ronald McDonald, Gary Glitter! coming soon to a store near your kids'!

[Dakano]

Ran Ran Ruu!!!!!

[arw360degrees]

"McHypnols Apathy Meal: More Sedatives Than EVER Before!"

[Disgruntledgoat]

"The happiness comes straight from the cow."

[Wigpat]

"Now with extra portions of 'happy' sauce"

[arw360degrees]

"Crack For The Happy, Crap For The Flabby"

[thepiethief]

*sneeze* damn i really should have got that tamiflu injection

[pinkfakecheez]

"Buy a Happy Meal and get a free Bible!"

[Iball]

McDonalds, proudly supported by Kerry Katona. As in, she represents 50% of the customer base.

[Magic Noodles]

"Do our meals make you vomit? Don't worry! Sell it back to us and we'll shove it in a Happy Meal! They're only kids."