Koth

[Klefter]

Sorry if this has already been done - I did a search which didn't find anythin'

Welcome to King Of The Hill!

All you do is try to take over the hill. Simple right? Think again.

1.No uber gods.No one can be like; I use my magical powers to kill you forever.

2. No perm kills.And even if you try it, I'll just bring em' back.

3.1/2 No blowin up the hill or taking it with you, or blowing it up.You can build stuff on it too.

3. Basically every other rule their is.

9.This may contain violence.



I'll start.

I stroll to the top of the hill and place a flag that reads "Anyone who sets foot on this hill will be found, tortured, maimed, and killed". Me = KOTH

[Mooke]

chops off his feet and replace them with hover pads then floats up the hill and pushes you off while you put up no resistance
(i love the English language :P)
picks up a sniper rifle and prepares to shoot anyone who tries to come at him

edit: i wondered when someone would post a KotH

[friendly spoon]

Yeah, I made one ages ago.

Anyway, I walk up the hill and shoot you in the head. I reamain totally unharmed as you need more than a flag to kill someone. My hill.

Edit: Mooke's post does not count as of now.

[Klefter]

*Finding*

*Torturing*

*Maiming*

*Killing*

My hill.

(BTW You don't have to say "My Hill" after your go)

[Mooke]

i don't get the point of those rules, we always had ways around, for example the hill going boom, and why doesn't my post count? i worked hard on that :P

paints the hill pink, and with hitchhiker's logic no one sees the hill, or me when i run a spear into your rear, then called in helicopters to prowl the area and shoot to kill anything else that moves

[arw360degrees]

Dresses Up Like Mooke's Nan.


Oh, I Forgot, Kill Mooke. Hill Is Mine... Unless You Wish To Confront A Greasy Teen In The Worlds Most Shapeless Dress

[Klefter]

Shn1perz!!1

I snipe you then run to the top of the hill and have a picnic

[Mooke]

i pick up the sniper rifle you discarded, strapped it to my back, and smiles knowing that he has poisoned the picnic food in advance, then walks up and readies the sniper to fire

[Klefter]

I sit down open the hamper and realise that the food has a greenish glow. Exactly like it had been poisoned by nuclear radiation. I opt not to eat it but just as i'm closing the hamper I see a glint in the corner of my eye. Instictivly knowing that the glint came from the scope of a scope, I whip out one of the dougnuts and throw it towards the sniper.

"This had better work" I thought as I dived to my left to avoid and shots.

*BOOM*

I peek over at the sniper and see a massive crater where the doughnut had exploded. I reach out and catch the sniper out of the air.

"Good thing my snipers are explosion proof" I think

My Hill.

[arw360degrees]

I Sneak Up Behind You And Tie Your Laces Together.
I Tap Your Shoulder, You Turn Around And Stumble Down The Hill.
Mine Hillen

[Mooke]

i get my pet hellhound, Mr Puddingshins, to maul you to death, then put of some flame retardant clothes and a gas mask on and set fire to the hill with magic!

my hill

[TheMattfish]

I make a path up the hill through the fire by throwing water balloons (filled with holy water to kill the magic) at the ground. When I get to the top I throw one of them at your hellhound, and it disappears in a puff of faith. By now, you have taken off your mask, and I hit you in the face with one of the balloons. Your eyes really sting and you fall over in pain, rolling down the hill through the fire (It turns out the secret to holy water is chlorine!). I proceed to blow up my little plastic pool and fill it with regular water. I mix myself a cocktail and sit in the cool water, relaxing as the magic fire continues to rage a safe distance from me.

Oh, my hill?

[Mooke]

sitting at the bottom of the hill crying at the loss of Mr Puddingshins

i suddenly get mad and charge up the hill, seemingly unaffected by the fire and chlorine, pick up your pool and throw it for miles, then with the burst of strength provided by the rage of my loss over, i pick up a machine gun and prepare to kill anything that comes close

my hill!

[Dakano]

I get in a tank and drive up the hill - flattening everything and Mooke to the ground. I build a gate as a Mooke memorial, padlock it with a 15 digit code
did you seriously believe that the code is here?
and paint the hill purple. Why? Because purple is an awesome colour.

[arw360degrees]

I Stroll Up The Hill, Picking Up A Four-Leaved Clover Along The Way. This Gives Me The Extraordinary Luck Required To Guess The Code Correctly.
I Pass Through The Gate. Dakano Dies From Disbelief... For Now...

[woodchip50]

i dive through the gate which arw360degrees stupidly didn't close behind him using my ninja skills.
i close the gate using my ninja skills (closing a gate has never been so AWESOME!)
i then use ninja skills to wait until nightfall and then tie up arw360degrees in his sleepy slumber.
i now have me a prisoner who is tied to a pole and used as a rather fetching flag for...

...my hill!

[Dakano]

You forget I died on the hill. Because nobody suspects the corpse.

I would just completely obliterate you, but that's too easy. So I'll get my pet CHIMERA to eat you instead.

my hill

[arw360degrees]

Just My Luck That Chimeras Are Afraid Of Human Flags! (Jeez, Everyone Knows That!)
The Chimera Goes Of A Fear-Induced Rampage On The Hill, Killing Everyone It Can See.
My... No, Wait, Chimera's Hill. Whoops!

[Magic Noodles]

I summon Chuck Norris, who roundhouse kicks the chimera so hard it becomes a leprechaun. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks me for daring to summon him, and I become a goat. I then order the leprechaun to pull me up the hill in his pot of gold, before butting him off the top. I then realise I have no thumbs, and can't really put up a flag. Instead I go bonk another goat, and begin building a goat colony on the hill.

[arw360degrees]

The Rope Keeping Me Up The Pole Gets Chewed By a Hungry Goat. A Family Of Goats Adopts Me And Nurses Me Back To Life. Over Time I Gain More And More Of The Goats Trust Until I Overthrow The Goat-King. My Goat-Hill!

[Dakano]

Instead I go bonk another goat
Dirty boy.



I summon Mario to come and squash you like a lowly Goomba.:mush2:1UP

My hill.

[Nimblewright]

However, Mario is sued by Luigi because he finally found the files with the original Mario Bros. game, showing it was originally called Luigi Bros. (apparently Mario changed the name to become famous)

With Mario out of the way I fire a blowdart with Joker venom at you (yeah the Batman stuff). You die smiling.

My Hill





Oh, and I hire some airport security guys to be my guards. Anyone trying to take over the hill will get a full cavity search.

[Magic Noodles]

I bring an army of goats to overthrow Nimblewright. Goats don't mind cavity searches.


It's like a fact.


Then we set up labour camps, and force farmers to build a giant pit like on 300. :D
THIS IS MY HILL!!!

[sulta]

Napalm strike. Walk up hill... my hill...

Fill hole with gravel.

[Mooke]

neither do sheep, just ask Nobody.... (sorry...)



i take a small vanguard of stormtroopers and capture the hill with their excellent aiming and agility

i then get some pigs to clear the dead (cuts through bone like butter!) and a bare knuckle fighter pikey who looks like brad pitt to help me defend
My Hill

[Magic Noodles]

After climbing out of my hole, I dodge the various references hastily, and, equipping my AK-47, begin eliminating the stormtroopers, knowing that due to their henchmen status, their shots will miss me. Brad Pitt attempts to knock me out in one punch, but skewers his hands on my goat-horns, and ends up waving me around in the air. After eating Brad Pitt's hand, I begin performing the ancient ritual required to summon the BADGETRON.

Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!

[captain caveman]

using my amazing assault/riot control vehicle "the Maim3r 230032/1" I bulldoze my way to the top of the hill I play annoying music and fire high pressured water jets at anyone attempting to claim the hill!!

I lay a concrete cap over Magic Noodles hole!

[Klefter]

I appoint myself Emporor of the hill and you can all be kings underneath me.I will expect 30 tons of flax, 300 able-bodied soldiers, and one comely daughter or other female relative from each of my vassals by the end of the month.

Excepting Noodles who only has to send me a goat. I don't really want any feamale Noodleses.

My Hill.

[Magic Noodles]

Suicide-bombing Trojan goat power!

MY HILL.

[Klefter]

What!? But I was emprorer?!

Anyways one of those goat bombs can't kill me because they're rubbish so you didn't seize controll of the hill and you FAIL.

My Hill Empire

oh, and I just realised I'm the best Xboxer to post on this thread so I RULEZ!

91st w00t!

EDIT:
Damn!

I'm 92nd now!

:mad:

[arw360degrees]

You Were So Distressed By Being Reduced To 92nd That You Mope In A Corner And Start Slitting Your Wrists. Whilst You Are Distracted, I Sneak Up Behind You, Wrestle Your Wrist-Slitting Knife Of You And Slit Your Wrists With It. My Hill.

[Klefter]

Lucky I have

STEEL WRISTS!!!

I pretend to be dead and when your crowning yourself I nab the crown and smite you. I kicked your ass (with my
STEEL LEGS!!!).

Haha. My hill.

Anyways I'm 91st again now so :p. And I wasn't slitting my wrists for purposes of suicide I was testing their STEEL AWSOMENESS

[arw360degrees]

Whilst You Kicked My Ass, It Got Momentarily Lodged And I Was So Surprised I Pooped A Little. Ok, So It Was A Lot. It Seeped Into The Electricals And Short Circuited Your Leg.
I Kindly Offer To Get You A Wheelchair. Or Should I Say Wheel-Bear! As You Crawl Around, It Chases With Minimal Effort Due To It's Mighty Wheels O' Ease! Fortunately For You, It Thinks You're a Fish. It Doesn't Kill You Straight Away, Rather, It Bashes You On A Rock Until You're Unconscious So You Don't Feel It Ripping Your Steel Arms From Your Steel Spine. (It Too Is Bionic)
My Hill! (The Bear Had To Go To A Job interview)

[Dakano]

Well, after I hired the bair as my construction manager, he decided that this hill would be the perfect spot for my new supermarket. Good ol' concrete mixers. They can make you dizzy and encase you in concrete in one fair swoop.

Oh by the way, there was something I wanted to tell you...




Oh yeah. MY HILL.

[Klefter]

I run in to your supermarket and


Throw Skittles at people and Yell "FEEL THE RAINBOW,TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

You all get scared of my awsomenass and run off.

MY HILL WITH A SUPERMARKET BUILT ON IT

[Nimblewright]

I eat chili, the day after I will head to your supermarket and fart. All the customers will leave, thus your source of income is destroyed. You are so desperate you will trade your hill for a sausage bun, which I conveniently carry around.

My Hill!!!

[Trickian]

I call for an airstrike, which drops bombs on everything on the Hill except for the supermarket. I kill the driver of the food-supply-truck for the supermarket on the hill, pull on his clothes, drive up on top of the hill, right through your wall of fart, hit you over, jump out of the truck and while you're still unconscious I throw you off my Hill

[Nimblewright]

However, I planned for this.

Months ago, I planted a bonsai tree outside the house of the food-supply-truck-driver-dood, knowing that his dog is mortally afraid of anything Japanese*.

While the truck driver is in grief, I sneak into his house, and because truck drivers always wear certain clothes on certain days in a very rigid schedule*, I know what clothes he'll be wearing the day you try to take over my hill.

I poison these clothes, you die before you reach my wall of fart, your plan fails.


MY HILL!!!

Oh, and I raise the tame Hellhound Mr Puddingshins from the dead to scare everyone away.




* Fact.

[Magic Noodles]

A highly trained team of squirrels parachute onto the hill, before attacking nimblewright with their ninja skills, and carrying him/her off in a cleverly made net. Hellhound Mr Puddingshins is distracted by the pure amount of squirrel to chase, and becomes confused. I throw a squeaky toy into the mix and its head explodes from confusion.

Then I climb the hill, and use my grand squirrel army to build a temple-fortress in my name, then perform a mass squirrel sacrifice to appease the gods, and permit my tranformation from goat to giant penguin with fire breathing powers.

WHO DARE DEFY MY PENGUINY WRATH?



MY HILL!

[Trickian]

Instead of killing me, Nimblewright mistook his scopolamine bottle for his arsenic bottle and I did not die, but I went in a deep come for 42 hours. After these 42 hours I awake to find the truck still in one piece at the bottom of the hill and myself with merely a scratch on my forehead. I get out of the truck, see the bomb Nimblewright has planted underneath the truck at the bottom of the hill, defuse it correctly and yes, I'm still alive! I look for my rocket launcher, which I secretly hid underneath the vegetables to find a note saying: "Hi there, these toys are dangerous and not meant for use by incompetent people, signed Squirrel 486.783" I get infuriated, rush up to the top of the hill, catch all the rockets fired at me and throw 'em back towards the penguin, which cannot possibly toast me, because I'm out of his fiery breath-range, before the rockets hit and kill him, remember I forgot to unbuckle my seatbelt and see that I'm carrying the truck behind my back. I grab the truck, destroy the supermarket on the hill, squish the squirrels (yes al 40 gazillion of 'em) and intimidate Magic Noodles so badly he runs of the hill to the first mental health institute to get himself checked out...

MY HILL!

[Magic Noodles]

The mental health institute claim they can not help a giant fire breathing penguin and I sue them. Using this money I buy a suit of giant fire breathing penguin armour from eBay, and use it to storm the hill, closely followed by the Justice League, who all hate trickian for some reason or another. With my penguin fire breath I ignite trickian's rockets, sending him/her to the mooon.

We then set up a fortress of solitude amongst the remains of the supermarket.

OUR HILL!

[GazzyW]

I sneaks into your fortress under cover of darkness, hiding in the shadows, waiting for you to let your guard down, until....

BACKSTAB! Instant Crit Death!

(Gentlemen.)

The base is now under RED control. My troops build a line of sentries, with mercinaries from around the globe to prowl the halls of the fortress. I myself hide in a safe with a glass of cherry coke.

[Magic Noodles]

I set up a ring of level 3 sentry guns around the foot of the hill, making sure to place a teleporter exit as I do so. After sneaking into the fortress, I place the teleporter entrance, and alert the red troops to my position. Like fools, they follow me to the foot of the hill and are swiftly mown down by the sentries, as my spies move in, deftly bugging the red sentries.

I wander in, and smack gazzy in the back of the head with a wrench.

BLU HILL!

[GazzyW]

I quickly rage quit, inciting Noodles to follow me. He(?) wonders where he is now, until.....

TAAAAAAAAANK!
He is swiftly taken down, and killed.
I switch to reality. We are now in Sydney, Wales. The Hill is defended by an army of farmers and sheep. The farmers are allowed to... do what every they want with the sheep, as long as both kill any intruders, especially people dressed as sheep.

WALES GET!

[Nimblewright]

However, I take many lessons in ventriloquism and convince the farmers that their sheep are talking. They are now convinced that the sheep are actually intruders dressed as sheep.
As per your order they kill them, but realise too late that they have killed their own livestock.
The farmer who killed the sheep is so shocked he now flies into a berserker rage induced by anger and confusion, killing all the other farmers and sheep before comitting suicide.

I now walk up the hill and shoot you with an anti-tank gun. And order my army of elven archers (don't ask me why there are elven archers in the first place, I actually don't know) to defend the hill.

MY HILL.

P.S. The elven archers sit on griffons.

P.P.S. Woo, I revived a thread

[GazzyW]

Unfortunally, elves have one weakness: Olay skin creme! (How else do they look so young?) One large tub later, they are all stuck inside, and are unable to leave when the top is put back on.

Then I slap Nimble. He runs away crying soft lonely tears to himself, and jumps of a cliff. His neck breaks. I doubt he's dead.

The hill is mine. And I can't be arsed to defend it, so I just hold a music festival on it.

[Magic Noodles]

I sneak my chemical romance into the festival, and the audience promtly run away to cry. Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, transformers.

EVERYWHERE

MY HILL!

[GazzyW]

I WANT TWO PIECES!

Anyway, the Transformers are ousted by adding some human characters that just talk about their problems, and take all the limelight from our hero robots. And Jazz dies.

My hill. With zombie robot dinosaurs. That are pirates.
Some are ninjas.

[Nimblewright]

Your Pirate Zombie Robot Dinosaurs start fighting your Ninja Zombie Robot Dinosaurs for obvious reasons.

I sneak past and backstab you.

My Hill. With Vampire Zombie Robot Dinosaur Werewolves.

[GazzyW]

Your vampire zombie.... whatevers start glittering in the sun, so you are embarrassed. You commit seppuku to escape your shame.

I just take the hill, and eat some poisioned pie.

[Trickian]

Meanwhile on the moon, I've found a way to teleport lifeless substances. I teleport the hill without any of you to the moon and claim it as my own! I create a force field around the moon, which none of you can get through! I kill the Toast King on the hill & put my myself alight! Now I'm the hottest on the moon!

My Hill! on my Moon!

[Dakano]

Thought you weren't allowed forcefields? Or taking the hill to another place? Oh well.
Because of my matter transporting helmet, I can zap myself to the moon. Which I do. For no particular reason, a chimera appears (in the form of a leprechaun, thanks to Chuck Norris)
I summon Chuck Norris, who roundhouse kicks the chimera so hard it becomes a leprechaun.
He has very big teeth for a leprechaun, don't you think?
SNAP.
MY HILL.

[Trickian]

Still on the moon, I invent a way to travel through time to undo my hill-teleportation and to teleport any one standing or crawling onto the hill towards the moon. Meanwhile I hire Capt. Nemesis to take away all the powers out of Dakano's matter transporting helmet and dump it beyond the seventy-fourth gate of hell!! Now that no one is on the hill, I put a timebomb on the teleportation machine and teleport myself on top of the hill!

My Hell!

[Magic Noodles]

I step onto the hill and stab trickian through the leg with the US flag, giving no explanation as to how I arrived on the moon. Then, with a wave of the flag, the hill is magically transported back to Earth, also without an explanation.

My hill.

[Arfmaster]

Unfortunately, you did not plan on my underground miners. They plant 6000000000 tons of TNT underneath it and blow it to smithereens. I now own all of the smithereens. I will now keep them in an underground vault that can only be opened when nuclear war is announced.

Take that.

[Trickian]

3 1/2 No blowin up the hill or taking it with you, or blowing it up.You can build stuff on it too.....

So I build myself an ice cream bar on the hill and it stays magic noodle's hill

[Magic Noodles]

I build a record store next to the ice cream bar and form a solid friendship with trickian, despite our past struggles.

[Nimblewright]

Then I build a cabin and a winter store
And I ploughed up the ground by the cold lake shore
And the other travelers came riding down the track
And they never went further and never went back

Then came the churches, then came the schools
Then came the lawyers, then came the rules
Then came the trains and the trucks with their loads
And then I was arrested for blatant plagiarism


So long for that plan...

Magic Noodles' Hill

[Arfmaster]

I probably should have read the rules before posting.


I create a myspace group which advertises my website for emo children. Eventually, enough kids join and complain about their lives so much, You all leave your buildings.

My hill.

[Magic Noodles]

We walk back to our buildings.

My hill.

[Arfmaster]

The buildings are now covered in emo love poetry. You all hate the poetry so much you destroy all your buildings and run away.

Mine.

[Trickian]

I buy a boombox and some albums of sad emo music. I put on the sad music on the hill and give all the emos razorblades to cut themselves...they die! I buy a razor-blade-gun to shoot razors at Arfmaster, he runs like hell off the hill, stumbles upon a rock on his way down, breaks his neck and ends up in a wheelchair...

My HILL

[Magic Noodles]

I then set up a therapy clinic on trickian's hill.

Trickian's hill.

[Nimblewright]

I run for mayor after starting a few neighbourhood enhancement programs.

I win.

My Hill

[Trickian]

After discovering that Nimblewright has an apple-pie-addiction and is the notorious apple-pie-thieve who steals apple-pies from my apple-pie-shop, he gets thrown into the newly built jail on the hill (geez, how big is this hill??). The D.A. in this case turned out to be Magic Noodles, who runs for the new mayor and wins...meanwhile I get a big sum from the insurance company for my ruined apple-pie-shop and build a HUGE shopping mall around it...

Magic Noodles' hill

(YEAH, I'm rich!)

[Magic Noodles]

Working together with Trickian, I succeed in making Hillsville a major shopping destination, with people flocking from neighbouring cities to visit the mall, making the hill, and trickian, even richer.

My hill.

[Trickian]

With all the money I have I do NOT set up a charity fund, but I command people to buils a second hill next to the first one, to expand our Hillsville to Hillcity. The second hill will be under my control and all the profit we make on the hills will be divided equally between MN and myself. Furthermore we build a huge wall around the hills with lovely turrets, so no one can enter and overtrow the both of us!!

Muhahahaha

My hill & Magic Noodles' hill, how can zis be?

[Arfmaster]

My team of underground creationists do not believe in hillcity. Nor hillville for that fact. They pop up when you least expect it, and GOD SMITES YOU ALL! evolution starts all over again on the two hills, and I am their leader.

My hills.

[Trickian]

After finally seeing that Arfmaster, their leader, is different than they are, the new race on the hills, called "Hillspeople", decide to cut him open and do dangerous experiments on him, to find out how different he is from the "hillspeople". Meanwhile my moon-base is still active and after I die on the hills, one of my clones becomes active with all knowledge of what has happened on the hills. After that my un-disintegrate searches for the souls of Magic Noodles & Nimblewright to re-establish their bodies in perfect shape. After having done this, I go to earth with my extinction-gun, which can extinct one species with one click of a button, and I kill all "hillspeople". The "hillspeople" turn to stone and with these stones I build a third hill.

I take the biggest hill! My Hill.
I give the stone hill to Magic Noodles! His Hill.
I give the last hill to Nimble! His Hill.

[GazzyW]

I nuke stone hill and last hill to death, and then ea Tricken.

My hill is now built with a layer of Rennies.

ONE TRUE HILL!

[Magic Noodles]

I summon an army of middle aged women, who gradually destroy the Rennie hill with their indigestion before I kill them all. After their rotting corpses decompose, forming a new hill, I make a small fishing tackle store, despite the lack of fish to tackle.

My hill, though I'm willing to share as long as people don't try to introduce tablets to ease digestion.

[Trickian]

I set alight the stinking hill, so a smaller hill of carbon is created...I claim this black hill, which is slowly shrinking by tiny gusts of wind.

My.....WHOOSH....Damn :(

[Arfmaster]

I put this carbon hill into my pressuriser, then add some more of my own Carbon from my reserves. I create an epic Diamond hill which cannot be destroyed.

MY HILL.

[Magic Noodles]

I push you off the hill.

MY HILL.

[Trickian]

I catch Arfmaster, throw him at Magic Noodles, so you both fall of the hill on the other side

MY HILL

Sorry, but a diamond hill, who doesn't want that for his own? :)

[Arfmaster]

I climb back up the hill, and Trickian falls down the hill after fetching a pail of water. I claim the hill as my own, and using more diamonds I carve the words "ARFMASTER'S HILL"

Everyone knows the only thing that can scratch diamond is more diamonds. That and ponyta's hooves.

[Magic Noodles]

I am riding a ponyta, and ride the words "IS OWNED BY MAGIC NOODLES" into the hill. I stab arfmaster in the teeth, and kick him with a fish until he falls back down the hill.

My hill.


I bring out charmeleon to prepare for the squirtle, having time traveled.

[Arfmaster]

Squirtle used water gun on pontya
Critical Hit! Super Effective!
Pontya fainted.

I then use my pikachu to shock you and you disappear into a star into the sky. you shout the words "Magic Noodles Blasting Off Agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain".

I cover your words over with mud as we have drained the world's supply of diamonds. The only diamond left is the hill. Subsequently the value of the hill skyrockets.

[Magic Noodles]

I return with a dialga, and travel through time to before you brought out squirtle. I then use charmeleon on the squirtle, and it faints. Meowth then shares his views.

Still my hill.

[Trickian]

I use an EMP and since pokemon are electically generated createrus, they disappear. I kick everyone off the hill

My Hill!